I just don't know what to do. I spent a good ten minutes laughing hysterically like it was some sort of horrible nd sick joke. I'm shaking and crying and I've been sick
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You're not a horrible person. You're hurting and there's nothing wrong with not wanting to be alone. If you need to talk, I'm here, bb. I'll do anything I can to help.
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*hugs tightly* I won't be around much today, but tomorrow I'll be here late into the evening if that's what you need.
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