# Week 29 - Murder (Melting chocolate)

[prof_ryoki]

This is my first attempt at writing a prompted fiction so I hope it all works out alright....I also hope the reference to the prompt isn't too confusing or obscure....hmmm.....

Title : Melting Chocolate
Prompt : Murder
Author :  Prof_Ryoki
Characters : Hitsugaya Toushiro, Ukitake Jyuushiro and Kyoraku Shunsui
Rating : PG-13
Warnings : Mild yaoi (Shun /

Comments

[raikune]

Oh WOW. This was a complete curve-ball. The idea of Ukitake doting on Shirou-chan because he secretly always wanted a son never occurred to me, but I think it's brilliant (and a little heart-breaking). :0 And then he died. Because of Hitsugaya. Wow. Extremely well-done! :D

[erinilliana]

Aw. Toushirou was pretty nasty near the end. I mean, it's Juushirou he did that to, of all people. One of the most gentle and kind captains, no less.

I like how you made such simple things like candy be so significant in the plot. It seems silly at first, but it makes you think about how the most obscure objects in life can hold a lot of meaning.

Oh, I think you pinpointed the prompt quite well. I completely agree with that line; ... the victim didn't have to leave a corpse to be dead... It's concise but effective and straight to the point.

Finally, I enjoyed the way this was written. You have a nice style, I like it. It makes the story progress smoothly and the scene changes aren't too abrupt or feel interruptive.

[prof_ryoki]

Thanks so much :D

I haven't written for a prompt before although I have done a lot of writing of my own on fanfiction.net (under penname Luthiena)

Many thanks for the kind comments...and I did feel awful about making Toushiro so mean to my JyuuJyuu

[erinilliana]

Prompts are really helpful when you need inspiration, since they act as a medium for your motivation. It's how I come up with what I write, at least.

Oh, you're the writer of White Rose, Silver Thorns! I reviewed that anonymously (erinilliana), haha. What a coincidence.

Toushirou had a reason, albeit it was displayed in a harsh way towards the poor man. I guess anyone can relate to him about not wanting to be 'treated like a child' even though that wasn't what Juushirou intended.

[prof_ryoki]

Wow that is a coincidence..lol. Yes I am the writer of White Rose..I have in face written the next chapters to finish it but never seem to get round to posting them

[annieroo2]

I liked Hitsugaya's frustration with being treated as a child and Juushiro's doing so because he wanted one of his own.

I enjoyed your take on this prompt. It was very inventive.

[draiol]

Very well written, and a good fic. Poor Ukitake.