Comments | pristineungift: Taste of Traitor on Her Tongue

pristineungift

Taste of Traitor on Her Tongue

Jun 18, 2011 18:56

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!original work, lots fic: taste of traitor on her tongue, !fanfiction, lots character: constance, lots character: richard, !darklings, lots character: denna, !writing style, !femslash, comm: helpthesouth, !chapter fic / longshot, lots pairing: constance/denna, lots pairing: darken rahl/denna, lots pairing: darken rahl/cara, lots pairing: richard/denna, lots character: darken rahl, !drabble/oneshot, lots character: cara, fandom: legend of the seeker, !fanart

Comments 10

brontefanatic June 19 2011, 01:22:38 UTC

OMG I LOVE ITTTT!!!!!!!

I can't do that keyboard-smashing thing or I would so do it right now.

The whole traitor/betrayal Denna/Cara theme. Cara coming after Denna all bad-ass, then gloating over Denna when she's in the dungeon. All of Denna's thoughts about being broken and about Darken Rahl. Then Denna's sense of triumph when she meets Cara again, and Cara's dead eyes, and I could go on and on.

I was expecting a moment of gratitude from Denna after Constance helped her, but then she was just perfect - Denna. I was shocked by what she did, but realized that it was perfectly in character.

So many great lines, it's hard to pick out my favorites. But the final two are absolutely pitch-perfect. So much going on inside both women.

I may think of more later. It's epic and wonderful and thank you for writing it, and I want to see Denna come back so bad I can hardly stand it.

<3<3<3<3

brontefanatic June 19 2011, 01:58:13 UTC

And the title - I don't know how you came up with it, but it was perfect - so evocative of both women.

pristineungift June 21 2011, 07:04:41 UTC

Oh the title! Well, it started out as "Traitor" - but when I was reading through and editing, I realized that I described it as a taste when both women said it, so I changed it to "Taste of Traitor on Her Tongue" ^_^. So it was sort of an accident!

pristineungift June 21 2011, 07:03:28 UTC

I am SO glad you like it! I was a little worried about it getting weird. <3

I think in her own way, beating Constance -was- gratitude from Denna. It gives credibility to Constance saying that Denna overpowered her, and may save her from a worse beating later.

I'm so so glad you liked it, and thank you for the thoughtful review bb. <3

aumarea June 19 2011, 08:36:59 UTC

Excellent - I could FEEL those damn rats staring at me while I read this.

pristineungift June 21 2011, 07:05:16 UTC

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! And I appreciate you taking the time to review. <3

hrhrionastar June 19 2011, 16:14:07 UTC

This is so intense :D First of all, the poem is fascinating, and goes really well with the story - and the title is just perfect :D

I think my favorite thing is the end - the theme of betrayal between Cara and Denna was so lovely and well done, and the way it harkened back to the scene with Darken and Denna and Cara made me see the scene in Resurrection a bit differently. So thank you for adding that complexity :D

The Denna/Constance felt very in character, too - Denna's so cruel, but it really fits. Also all her thoughts about Darken breaking her...

Very epic :D

pristineungift June 21 2011, 07:06:50 UTC

Oh I'm glad you like the poem! I struggled with it a little. I don't really think of myself as a poet. Not a serious one anyway.

And yes, I'm glad you liked the Denna/Cara theme. It sort of struck me as I wrote the first scene, that later they would see each other, and they would both be traitors. <3

Thank you for taking the time to review. It really means a lot to me. <3

meridian_rose July 19 2011, 14:23:48 UTC

Without your disclaimer I'd have been googling the poem, assuming they were lyrics to a haunting song - something in the vein of Emilie Autumn, a folk poem retold in indie rock or something...

As a pet rat owner, I always find it hard to read/watch rats portrayed as vicious little beasts, but wild rats are cheeky little bastards I'd assume, opportunistic in a way that makes them so successful as a species.

It fits well into potential missing canon after Bloodline, the Denna vs Cara dynamic works well, and the question of loyalty vs treason is nicely addressed.

pristineungift August 8 2011, 02:30:22 UTC

Without your disclaimer I'd have been googling the poem, assuming they were lyrics to a haunting song

Thank you so much! That's really good to hear, as I don't really think of myself as a poet.

As a pet rat owner, I always find it hard to read/watch rats portrayed as vicious little beasts

I actually have trouble with it as well. My best friend growing up had rats, and she let me name one. I played with them often. Given a choice here I would have done scorpions or spiders or something, but I went with rats since canonically it's rats that Mord'Sith hate/are tormented by.

It fits well into potential missing canon after Bloodline, the Denna vs Cara dynamic works well, and the question of loyalty vs treason is nicely addressed.

Thank you. I was trying to say something here, going for some meta, and I wasn't really sure how well it came across. Thank you for taking the time to leave such a well thought out review. <3