Fic: Annual Attack

[pristineungift]

Title: Annual Attack

Author: PristinelyUngifted / pristineungift

Rating: K

Summary: Humor. Response to prompt: "Mord'Sith don't have birthdays. The group decides to celebrate the day Cara joined the group. Cara is not pleased." Spoilers S2.

It had been almost a year since she had betrayed Darken Rahl and joined Richard when Cara noticed it. Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd were plotting something. At first she assumed they were having one of their unnecessary prolonged discussions about feelings, but this had been going on too long for even that, and they usually tried to include her in those.

This time they stopped and sent her guilty looks every time she caught them.

She waited.

The first attack came early in the morning, as Cara was returning from bathing in a lake. Kahlan grabbed her from behind. Cara turned her hip into Kahlan's center, using her own weight against her to flip her onto her back. Kahlan stared up at her with a smile on her face.

Confused, Cara backed away, going to find Richard to tell him some kind of magic had made Kahlan lose her mind again.

He was not at the camp.

The second attack came after the afternoon meal. Richard dropped out of a tree to wrap his arms around Cara's neck, in a firm but ineffectual stranglehold. She drove an elbow into his stomach and then swept his feet out from under him.

She would have to get the wizard alone to consult with him. Maybe someone had slipped a potion into Richard and Kahlan's food.

There was no opportunity to get Zedd alone as they traveled. It wasn't until they reached an inn that she was able to talk to him.

"Wizard, something strange is going on."

He spouted platitudes that sent her self preservation instincts into overdrive.

The third attack came when she entered the inn. A bag was dropped over her head, blinding her and hindering her arms. She loosely bent her knees, prepared to fight her way out using only her powerful legs.

The bag was lifted unexpectedly and three pairs of arms encircled her.

"Happy Birthday, Cara!"

They were having a group hug.

Unbelievable.

"Mord'Sith don't have birthdays."

"We know," said Richard, "today's the day you joined us!"

A large cake was presented to her by the innkeeper. It was decorated with squirrels.

"Now blow out your candles and make a wish!" Kahlan cheered.

Cara was annoyed.

But only a little.

She blew out the candles on the first try.

And wished.