Invictus: Part IV - Master of My Fate -

[pristineungift]

Comments

[hrhrionastar]

But Richard, his brother, he couldn’t let him have this, couldn’t even do him the courtesy of being cruel.

Cruel words were easily dismissed.

Richard Rahl wept, and somehow Darken felt that the tears weren’t for himself, and he hated him for it.

So pitch-perfect Richard, and I love your development of how Darken realizes that he really has switched places with Richard - but living Richard's life makes him not really him anymore, because he has to be Richard in order for it to work.

Meeting her eyes, Darken asked, “Kahlan, do you love me?”

She laughed, bright and loud, and it lifted his spirit. “Of course I love you. I’ll always love you, Richard.”

Oh, the beautiful angst!

What was the point of being good, if no one recognized him for it? Hmmm...clearly Darken still has more to learn; Richard knows that being good is an end in itself.

But he was tired

[pristineungift]

I'm sooo glad you feel Richard was in character. I often feel I have difficulty with him.

Oh, the beautiful angst!

IKR T_T I made myself a little sad for everyone involved there, but then I remembered their tears are delicious.

Hmmm...clearly Darken still has more to learn; Richard knows that being good is an end in itself.

Yes this! I actually was hyper aware of that contrast, because in my other dark_fest fic I wrote the line "He cared. Richard cared about being good."

I love how you weave together the mundane with the horrific/magical - Darken's violent fantasies and then the living world, where they're eating dinner. This end grounds the story.

The whole victory/defeat dichotomy here is just gorgeously crafted, as Darken realizes that he can't get 'credit' for being good when it all goes to Richard. I actually owe Lisa a lot for all of that. Really the construction of this whole final part is 1000% better because of her. The original ending was much less developed and lacked impact. Lisa got me to rearrange and add some

[goth_darkenrahl]

yes please write more about this universe and I hope Darken will find peace

[pristineungift]

I'm glad you liked it! Maybe I will bang out a sequel eventually. <3 Thanks for commenting!

[chameleon_irony]

I agree with hrhrionastar: this is an incredible story.

The contrast between the protagonist's day-to-day actions, which are good and even heroic sometimes, and his thoughts, which are those of a villain, is fascinating. There are few works of fiction, fan or pro, that tackle the debate about whether it's only our actions that make us good or evil, or our thoughts as well.

[pristineungift]

Hello hello! Haven't seen you around before!

This is an area that really intrigues me. I'm super glad you enjoyed it, and I appreciate you taking the time to comment. <3

[chameleon_irony]

I came here from dark_fest. And you're welcome. :)

[brontefanatic]

The dream sequences are becoming so intense, and show that Darken is right - they are bound together, body and soul, whether they like it or not. It was fated from the beginning.

OK - I have to quote all of it, because it just blew me away, and says so much about the brothers so eloquently and heartbreakingly, and true:

As if Darken was the one who lost the war between them, the war that both had been fighting since before they knew the other existed

[pristineungift]

The dream sequences are becoming so intense

Lol, that's one way to put it XD

And yes, Richard being himself robbed Darken of his victory, absolutely. Richard was supposed to rage, and when he didn't it hurt Darken more than anything else Richard could have done.

But the ending - the ending - OMG.

I actually owe Lisa a lot for all of that. Really the construction of this whole final part is 1000% better because of her. The original ending was much less developed and lacked impact. Lisa got me to rearrange and add some things that really brought it home. <3

Epic wonderful story. One of the best you've ever written IMO.

Thanks so so much. That means a lot. <3 I think this is among my favorites. The only recent one I like better than this is The Old Commandments StandI think I probably will do a sequel at some point. And I expect since the veil is sealed and the realms of the dead back in order, Richard will be in the Halls of Eternal Peace

[angstbunny]

omgggggggg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg

[pristineungift]

OMMMMMGGGG YOUR REVIEWS OMMMGGGGGGGG

I'm so glad that you found Richard to be in character. I feel like I have trouble with him sometimes, and I've been accused of being a 'Richard basher' since I'm usually writing from Darken Rahl's POV.

And yes, you got the title exactly. Richard is unconquerable, just by virtue of being himself, and Darken struggles not to be conquered.

And yes, everything you say about Darken, yessssss. Especially Kahlan not being really his. It's BURNING HIM UP that she isn't really his.

THE ENDING - I actually owe Lisa (meridian_rose) a lot for all of that. Really the construction of this whole final part is 1000% better because of her. The original ending was much less developed and lacked impact. Lisa got me to rearrange and add some things that really brought it home. <3

And lol yeah, I do obsess over the functionality of my plots. >_>

I probably will write a sequel eventually XD

SO GLAD YOU LIKED IT AND THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL FEEDBACK O_O :3333333

[angstbunny]

You nailed Richard, which pleases me, because Richard is harder to write than one would think and I loooooooooooooooove Richard. :/ at accusations of you being a Richard basher. Yeah, you're a Darken girl, and Darken Rahl ain't going to have flattering thoughts about Richard. It's kind of annoying, isn't it? It's happened to me in the past. It's one of the things I love about POV, but it's also infuriating when people don't get it. It's like, um, *I* don't endorse this, it's the *character*. But. Anyway. That's a rant for another day haha.

Whoo, go Lisa!

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