Drabble: Darken Rahl's Diary
My entry to the "Dear Diary" challenge on legendland .
Crack! Diary of Darken Rahl.
Rated: PG
Darken Rahl’s Diary
Monday
Learned that prophecy was not averted after having horrible dream of Seeker being named.
I told father that I didn't want a brother, but noooooooo........
Stupid old man couldn't keep it in his pants.
Now will have to send wizards and soldiers and come up with overly complicated plans to stay alive. (Note to self: What were those things I read about a few years back, the bags of Odin... books of Odden... something like that. Get Giller to look it up.)
All I really want is some sleep, a nice woman, and the complete obedience of the three territories.
Sadly, with the naming of the Seeker, it seems that only the woman and the complete obedience will be possible for some time.
I used to have such nice dreams.
Mostly about kittens.
I wish I had a younger sibling who wasn't the Seeker sister that I could give a kitten to. Then I could play with it when no one was looking.
People never take you seriously as a tyrant if you have a kitten.
Maybe I could get away with a puppy.
Overlords have dogs, right?
I'll get a puppy tomorrow.
At least it'll love me.
Unlike certain fathers I could mention.
Thursday
Sent bounty hunters after Seeker. Hopefully will get results and I can get some sleep.
Couldn’t find appropriately evil puppy, so ordered Mord’Sith to pretend to be puppy.
I think I like this better.
(Note to self: See about magically giving her a tail.)
Am teaching her to fetch. Maybe when she’s ready I’ll send her to fetch that bastard that stole my father’s love my golden younger brother the Seeker.
Tuesday
Seeker still at large and causing trouble. Have decided to send Denna-the-Mord’Sith-puppy to fetch him.
Promised her belly rub if she does good job.
Friday
Denna failed. Going to beat her with newspaper. Waiting for Sunday so that it will really hurt.
Wednesday
Cara found diary. Threatened her with torture beyond imagining.
Thursday
Got word from Giller that Seeker and red hot BAMC Confessor are trapped in his tower.
Cara has offered to be Mord’Sith-kitten.
Finally, a good day.