Three moments

[pellamerethiel]

Title: Three moments
Author: pellamerethiel
Characters: Michael, Mahone, agent Wheeler
Pairings: Alex/Pam
Category: Gen, pre- and post-escape. Kind of au.
Rating: PG-13
Lenght: 2074 words
Spoilers: Till 2x20 Panama
Disclaimer: They're not mine.
Summary: Michael, Mahone and agent Wheeler are in the crucial moments of their lifes.
Written for: tearcreek for making such a

Comments

[inaudiblechaos]

Firstly, the second person narrative is awesome. I'll admit, at the start I wasn't sure. But once I was in I was really in. There's something about this kind of writing that makes you feel what you're reading rather than just see/hear it. In particular, I think the third section benefits from this narration, the end left me wanting more, very chilling. Your words, yes, but even moreso just the way it's written. e.g.

Leaving you completely alone.

And somehow you know that you’re never going to see him again.

I like the way the ambiguity of the word 'somehow' just fades into that sentence; it doesn't make the certainty of the fact he will never see him again it any less clear.

The wall is covered with hundreds, thousands of tiny black and scattered dots where pins were. Seeing this random, accidental pattern suddenly makes you sick. It symbolizes everything you've been fighting your whole life, things you’ve tried to get rid of and keep out of your way, the scary disorders, endless variations of chaos, which were always ruining

[pamalax]

YAY! You've posted.

I think I may be nearly as excited as you are :o)

They turned out wonderful -- your English is really very good! -- and I'm very pleased I was able to talk you into this because it was wrong that the non polish speaking audience never had the chance to read your lovely vision for all these wonderful characters.

And look ... you've already gotten a VERY NICE review from someone I know has wonderful taste in fan fic.

YAY!!
Did I already mention the YAY?

Anyway I'm very excited for you, could go on and on, but I'll leave it there because you've given me three wonderful prompts that demand I get writing ASAP!

Congrats!

[inaudiblechaos]

Was I a little excessive?

Lol.

[pamalax]

Ooops sorry I didn't realize I'd hit reply to comment instead of add a comment.

That being said I'm kind of glad I did and NO you were not excessive at all.

It was a lovely comment I was thrilled to see because:
a. I know you have good taste in fan fic
b. I got her into writing this thing -- I pestered her forever poor thing -- so I was thrilled to see such a wonderful and thoughtful comment show up right away.

Not excessive in the least :o)

I know she'll be very happy!

[accrues]

*INCOMPREHENSIBLE BABBLING*

WRITTEN FOR ME? *flails* *tackles you and hugs you* OH PELLE, YOU WONDERFUL WONDERFUL GIRL.

*snuggles you* the icon is nothing in comparison to *THIS*.

I still can't believe that English is not your native tongue. I mean, woah. I'd never be able to do this in another language! I can barely do it in MY language.

I'm sorry my review isn't as thorough as inaudiblechaos's but I think I've lost all words. Just... All three stories all joined together is... wow. All three men are beautifully lost. It's a beautiful tragedy and you depict it so well.

Thanks Pelle! Can I reccommend this?

[pellamerethiel]

Of course you can reccommend this! It's a gift, so... :D

And yeah, English was never my native tongue. :) And I'm very happy that I've managed to write something like this. :D

I'm such a happy girl now - thank you for your comment!!! :***