Sydney Changes Things 1/?
Title: Sydney Changes Things
Author: princess2000204
Warning: Adult Content, Kid!fic,
Rating: PG-13
Summary: What are you suppose to do when your girlfriend gets pregnant and then goes hysterical about it, not to mention no one is happy about it.......Just move on and do what you can to survive, it's not the child's fault.......
Prologue |
~*~*~*~
This chapter hopefully brings it all to light that nothing is going happily ever after....I think this chapter has gone through some of the most rewrite.
Enjoy!
*~*~*~*~
We were sitting in the living room of my house; it wasn't a huge house but it was enough room for us to not get in each others way. The TV was off, the only thing I could hear was Kamala shifting around on the couch cushion and the clock ticking away the minutes. My mom was off at work, so I wouldn't have to worry about her coming home until much later in the day.
"What's wrong Kam?" I ask her after the silence kept on stretching with the continuous ticking of the clock; I just couldn't take it any longer.
"Bill....I....We only did it that one time but...." She finally started to say only to trail off as she hid her face in her hands, her shoulders starting to shake up and down with her silent sobs.
"I'm...." I start to say but stop as I don't really know what I could say to her; sorry just wasn't right. The only thing I could do was place my arms around her and hug her to me as I rock her back and forth until she calms down.
When the sobs seem to dissipate and the hic-ups became manageable, "Alright, lets try this again Kamala. What's going on?" I say as I brush a piece of her black hair out of her face that was sticking to her cheek due to the tears.
"I....You..." She starts to say before pausing and looking down at the floor, "BillI'mpregnant." Kamala finally gets out all in one rushed breath; I didn't even fully process it. I just sat like a stone as the words kept going in repeat in my mind before I was finally able to grasp them. "You're pregnant?" I say at last as I put my entire sight on her, not once looking anywhere else.
‘What the hell! I’m only a Junior in high school, can’t even vote yet or buy alcohol, how am I going to be able to be a father?’ I think to myself still keeping my sight on Kamala’s tear stained face, ‘She must be going through it worst than I am, as she is actually pregnant, but what am I suppose to do? Abortion isn’t a viable solution; mom would kill me if she was to ever find out. Kamala’s pregnant…my girlfriend is pregnant-with my child. I am going to be a father in high school…shit!’
"Yea, I found out for sure last night but I suspected for a little while." She whispers as she wraps her arms around her stomach and puts her gaze at the far wall.
'Kamala is....pregnant!' Is the only thought bouncing around my head as I stare dumbly at her, watching her shiver beside me even though she's wearing thick sweat pants and a hoodie. Breathing deeply for a few moments, "Okay...." I start to say but trail off as I try and figure out where we should go from here.
"What do you want to do Kamala?" I ask her as silence continues to stretch between us and I make a vow to myself that she would not go through this alone.
She continues to stare ahead so I repeat myself, "Kamala? What do you want to do?"
"I...I...don't know." She finally whispers, turning her gaze onto me. When I look into her eyes, I can see how scared she is.
"Well...we will figure this out..." I tell her as I gather her into my arms, she is limp and allows me to pull her as close as possible. My strength is probably the only thing holding her together.
"We have to tell our parents." Comes out of my lips before I consciously realize what I was thinking, but I also know it's true. We can't do this alone.
~*~*~*~
We both stay at my house, curled around each other on the couch with the TV on mute while it showed music videos. Not a single word is said after I stated our parents had to kno; Kamala just nodded in agreement and then broke down into tears once more.
I continue to stare at her and then her heavily concealed stomach, still trying to wrap my mind around it all.
'I'm going to become a father. Kamala is carrying my child.' Is the only thought floating through my head as I just count the minutes ticking by while holding the mother of my unborn child in my arms. She had stopped crying a little while ago, now she is just quiet as she is seemingly staring off somewhere.
An unknown amount of time finally passed when my mother walked through the front door juggling some grocery bags in her arms. “Hey kids. What do you both want for dinner?” She asks over her shoulder as she continues on into the kitchen, not once looking back at us.
Before I can say anything back, Kamala stirs in my arms and looks up at me with fear obvious on her face. “Shh” I tell her softly with a smile, placing a kiss on her forehead.
I knew my mother wasn’t going to be happy with the thought let alone the idea of me having a child so young but nonetheless they would welcome the unborn child with open arms. Kamala’s parents, on the other hand, I was worried about, as they already didn’t approve of our relationship so I could only imagine how it will be once they know she is pregnant. I am suppose to only be a passing fancy in the daughter’s life before she settles down with an appropriate Indian man.
“So, how was school today?” My mother asks in her perky voice as she bounces back into the living room with having put all of the groceries away. I just look over at her and from the look on my face; she knows something is going on. The smile falls from her lips and her posture become stiff.
“What’s going on?” She asks seriously as she takes a seat on the love seat across from us. My mother never misses anything, probably comes from being a counselor at a local elementary school.
Kamala gets out of my embrace and sits up, facing my mother but continues to stay curled up in herself and not meeting anyone’s eyes. I look between both my mother and Kamala before realizing that I’m going to have to do all of the talking. “Mom…See um…something has happened and well…we didn’t go to school today…well we did but um…we left and came here….” I start to say, trying not to lie to her as my mother can sniff out a lie from the other side of the house, but when I glance over at her she seems to just know something more is coming.
I stop and take a deep breathe, looking over I see Kamala just trembling but continuing to look down at the rug. “Mom…um….Kamala….she’s kinda…um…pregnant?” I finally get out stumbling over every word trying to get out of my mouth. Probably not making any sense but when I finally get my self to look up I see that my mother is just sitting across from us with this open mouth look of surprise on her face.
The three of us seem to just sit in silence for awhile except for the ticking of the clock, just like earlier. Time seems to always be ticking by.
“Well…So…I see.” My mom finally gets out after she seems to snap herself out of the shock from the news.
Glancing over to Kamala who has turned her face back down towards her knees; I can feel her body shaking next to me. Looking over to my mom, I wrap my arms around Kamala’s shaking body and pull her as close as I can with her bundled up in the overly large hoodie. She allows me easily, but she still doesn’t make any movements. I think she is scared of what my mom will do, all of my friends adore my mother and none of them ever want to deal with my mother’s wrath.
“Kamala honey.” My mother says after a few more moments of silence which is when she probably realizes that she is going to have to make the first move.
“Yes, ma’am.” Kamala replies as she peeks her eyes up from over her knees. Her eyes look bloodshot; it’s obvious she’s been crying heavily. She wipes at her nose as she sniffs a few more times but continues to stay curled up against my side.
“Have you talked to your family about this at all?” My mother asks as she bends down a little, trying to bring herself closer to the two of us.
I can feel Kamala seize up beside me and tries to scoot away from me but I hold her tight and won’t allow her to escape from my grip. “What is it babe?” I ask her in concern as I try to look at her face but she keeps looking away from us.
“I…I told Hajari…He told me to…to um…get it taken care of.” Kamala finally stutters out before hiding her face in her knees again, leaving both my mother and I completely slack jawed. All I can do is just look at my utterly distraught girlfriend who is now carrying my child and just the thought of this new life being extinguished before it can begin just makes my brain shut down.
I hear my mother clear her throat, looking over at her I see her face settle into a new hardened set which means she has made up her mind. “Honey that is not an option. We are here for you and everything will be taken care of from here on out.” My mother tells her as she nods at us before getting up and going back into the kitchen.
I rub my free hand up and down her back, trying my best to sooth her and get her calmed down. “My entire family is here for you. Nothing bad will come to you or our child.” I tell her softly as I continue to hold her close to my body and allow her to just release all of her pent up emotions. The sobs and gasping cries are almost too much for me to take but I know she needs this.
Keeping my arms wrapped firmly around her shaking frame, I think to how my family will take the news of a new addition being added to the family so suddenly. Mother of course isn’t happy but she wont shun me or the baby, both of my grandparents will be ecstatic to have a great-grandchild to spoil as much as possible; as for my two aunts and five uncles, I’m not entirely sure how they will take the news. One of my uncles is gay, so I’m pretty sure he will be happy of the news and my two aunts will be too as the pressure will be off from them to have any children by my grandparents….not entirely sure of my four uncles though.
~*~*~*~
If only I had known that from then on, things would get gradually worse and more complicated.
Mother wanted Kamala to move in with us, to make sure she is well taken care of but her family would not have it. They were not supportive of this pregnancy at all. I was going over there everyday after school and eventually as her pregnancy progressed further along, I was going over there everyday to pick her up in my car as we didn’t want her exerting herself too much.
Frequently I would arrive in the middle of a shouting match, most of it I never understood a word of what was spoken as it was all in their native tongue of Hindi but other times I would understand it all completely.
The first time it happened was barely a week after we told her family the news,
“You are a black stain upon our immaculate family. Why can you not be more like your sister Mahesa who is just what a perfect Hindu woman should be.”
It just got worst from there, the next yelling conversation I stumbled upon was some of the worst things I had ever heard from one family member to another, “Get this business taken care of Kamala, you are setting a bad example for Avatari and Denali. Do not go giving them any ideas of what is allowed in America, I will not allow it in this house! If I had known what coming here would do to you, I would have left you back in India.”
This particular shouted conversation lasted for close to 45 minutes before I was able to pull her out of the suffocating house and into my SUV, that day we didn’t make it to school.
“I only allowed you to get involved with that…that boy because you promised me, you promise your family that you would uphold your betrothal after school. We provide you with a roof, clothes, food, and a good education and you pay us back by...by…allowing that boy to defile you like this!” Her mother was in a particularly foul mood that morning and from what Kamala mentioned about being up most of the night hugging the toilet explained why.
This was just early on into the pregnancy before Kamala was even showing.
When it came out that Kamala was pregnant…it wasn’t pretty. We got dirty looks; most of our group of friends shunned us and refused to have anything to do with us. I think it had something to do with their parents, but I never heard anything for sure on that.
Her family was absolutely not helpful to her or to our baby. They wouldn’t take her to any of her doctor appointments, get her any new clothes as she gradually got bigger, buy her any prenatal vitamins or tried to be helpful in any sense of the word. A few times, I’m almost positive they tried to abort her, but thankfully my mother and I caught it quickly enough that the baby was saved.
Once Kamala was too far for a legal abortion to even be possible, her family turned into people that you see in movies. She became pretty much shunned by her relatives both far and near. I even heard snatches of conversation that her older sister was so embarrassed by Kamala’s surprise pregnancy that she refuses to acknowledge her. I could see how much it was all wearing on Kamala that she just gradually became more and more depressed.
She went from being the ‘it’ girl in school and a princess in her family’s eyes to being this unwanted and dirty thing that no one wanted anything to do with. Her appearance consisted of sweat pants, all stolen from her brothers probably, and hoodies that were so baggy they didn’t show any of her once proud figure.
From the very first time that Kamala brought me home to her family as her boyfriend, they never liked me. I wasn’t Indian. I wasn’t of Hindu belief. I wanted to become a chef which to them wasn’t a prestigious enough career. They kept throwing in both of our faces that Kamala’s older siblings are all doing extremely well.
Nitesh, her oldest brother, is a lawyer and is regarded very highly in his field of expertise with journals being thrown in our faces stating that very fact over and over again.
Hajari, an older brother by a few years, is currently in medical school to become a surgeon. Of course he goes to one of the best schools and does extremely well in his classes with printouts of his grades on the refrigerator.
Mahesa, an older sister by two years and I remember very well when she was in school. She isn’t in college instead her parents married her off to some extremely wealthy guy in Canada, already has two kids and expecting another.
Kamala has two younger siblings that are still in Middle school so thankfully their amazing achievements can’t also be thrown in our face.
Holding Kamala in the doctor’s office as he tells her that she is at high risk of losing the baby in her seventh month due to her high amount of stress, I look over at my mother standing nearby and I feel so lost at what I should do. This isn’t a situation she can help with.
For the past seven months, my entire family has been nothing but supportive no matter how far away they live. My grandparents have already made a trip down to see us and are nothing but excited about the coming baby. Both of my aunts have been showering us with gifts for the upcoming baby despite us not knowing the sex. My one uncle who is gay has been by the house multiple times to check on us and help as much as he can.
Thinking back to the obvious differences, it’s rather surprising that the stress of the situation is just now catching up to Kamala.
Looking at her, laying down on the examination table, she is truly a glowing goddess. Pregnancy does look good on her despite the bags under her eyes, stringy and obviously unwashed hair, make-up free face and the ugly blue and green hospital gown she is wearing over her bulging belly.
When we finally walk out of the doctor’s office with my mother leading the way and me pretty much holding Kamala up right. “I can’t do this anymore Bill! I don’t want to go through all of this just to end up losing it.” She tells me quietly as she keeps a firm grip on my bicep.
Glancing down, I see how defeated she has become over the past few months and I know that if I want this baby to come in the world healthy and alive then it will be up to me to make sure it happens because apparently Kamala has completely given up and allowed her family to win. I rub my hand around her now very apparent protruding belly only to have her push my hand away.
“Don’t touch me or it. I just want to be left alone.” She tells me angrily as she lets go of me and waddles up to my mother who has just opened the door to the backseat of my blue Ford Edge.
I have noticed that her depression has become even worst recently as she has completely withdrawn into herself. If anyone even tries to touch her or the baby, she’ll snap at us and push us away. I have also noticed that she doesn’t rub her belly any longer like I remember her doing when we first found out. Then she was ecstatic about the pregnancy despite her family’s wishes and views but now it appears it has all become too much for her. The most unsettling thing for me is how Kamala is now referring to our unborn child as ‘it’ instead them or he/she like in the beginning.
We’ve been given the option to be told the sex of our child plenty of times but Kamala refuses. She tells me that she wants to be surprised but I now have come to the conclusion that she doesn’t want to become attached to our child. Whenever I bring up potential names for our child, she always changes the subject or just tells me not now. I’ve given up even trying and now I turn to my mom and other family members for help.
“I’ve just got two more months of this pain and then it will all be over.” I hear her mutter when she adjusts the pillows in the backseat for her back pain before managing to buckle the seatbelt. I pretend like I don’t hear her and just turn my attention on the road ahead of us as my mother drives us back to our house.
~*~*~*~
Please let me know what you guys think so far.
~*~*~*~
Chapter 2
Author: princess2000204
Warning: Adult Content, Kid!fic,
Rating: PG-13
Summary: What are you suppose to do when your girlfriend gets pregnant and then goes hysterical about it, not to mention no one is happy about it.......Just move on and do what you can to survive, it's not the child's fault.......
Prologue |
~*~*~*~
This chapter hopefully brings it all to light that nothing is going happily ever after....I think this chapter has gone through some of the most rewrite.
Enjoy!
*~*~*~*~
We were sitting in the living room of my house; it wasn't a huge house but it was enough room for us to not get in each others way. The TV was off, the only thing I could hear was Kamala shifting around on the couch cushion and the clock ticking away the minutes. My mom was off at work, so I wouldn't have to worry about her coming home until much later in the day.
"What's wrong Kam?" I ask her after the silence kept on stretching with the continuous ticking of the clock; I just couldn't take it any longer.
"Bill....I....We only did it that one time but...." She finally started to say only to trail off as she hid her face in her hands, her shoulders starting to shake up and down with her silent sobs.
"I'm...." I start to say but stop as I don't really know what I could say to her; sorry just wasn't right. The only thing I could do was place my arms around her and hug her to me as I rock her back and forth until she calms down.
When the sobs seem to dissipate and the hic-ups became manageable, "Alright, lets try this again Kamala. What's going on?" I say as I brush a piece of her black hair out of her face that was sticking to her cheek due to the tears.
"I....You..." She starts to say before pausing and looking down at the floor, "BillI'mpregnant." Kamala finally gets out all in one rushed breath; I didn't even fully process it. I just sat like a stone as the words kept going in repeat in my mind before I was finally able to grasp them. "You're pregnant?" I say at last as I put my entire sight on her, not once looking anywhere else.
‘What the hell! I’m only a Junior in high school, can’t even vote yet or buy alcohol, how am I going to be able to be a father?’ I think to myself still keeping my sight on Kamala’s tear stained face, ‘She must be going through it worst than I am, as she is actually pregnant, but what am I suppose to do? Abortion isn’t a viable solution; mom would kill me if she was to ever find out. Kamala’s pregnant…my girlfriend is pregnant-with my child. I am going to be a father in high school…shit!’
"Yea, I found out for sure last night but I suspected for a little while." She whispers as she wraps her arms around her stomach and puts her gaze at the far wall.
'Kamala is....pregnant!' Is the only thought bouncing around my head as I stare dumbly at her, watching her shiver beside me even though she's wearing thick sweat pants and a hoodie. Breathing deeply for a few moments, "Okay...." I start to say but trail off as I try and figure out where we should go from here.
"What do you want to do Kamala?" I ask her as silence continues to stretch between us and I make a vow to myself that she would not go through this alone.
She continues to stare ahead so I repeat myself, "Kamala? What do you want to do?"
"I...I...don't know." She finally whispers, turning her gaze onto me. When I look into her eyes, I can see how scared she is.
"Well...we will figure this out..." I tell her as I gather her into my arms, she is limp and allows me to pull her as close as possible. My strength is probably the only thing holding her together.
"We have to tell our parents." Comes out of my lips before I consciously realize what I was thinking, but I also know it's true. We can't do this alone.
~*~*~*~
We both stay at my house, curled around each other on the couch with the TV on mute while it showed music videos. Not a single word is said after I stated our parents had to kno; Kamala just nodded in agreement and then broke down into tears once more.
I continue to stare at her and then her heavily concealed stomach, still trying to wrap my mind around it all.
'I'm going to become a father. Kamala is carrying my child.' Is the only thought floating through my head as I just count the minutes ticking by while holding the mother of my unborn child in my arms. She had stopped crying a little while ago, now she is just quiet as she is seemingly staring off somewhere.
An unknown amount of time finally passed when my mother walked through the front door juggling some grocery bags in her arms. “Hey kids. What do you both want for dinner?” She asks over her shoulder as she continues on into the kitchen, not once looking back at us.
Before I can say anything back, Kamala stirs in my arms and looks up at me with fear obvious on her face. “Shh” I tell her softly with a smile, placing a kiss on her forehead.
I knew my mother wasn’t going to be happy with the thought let alone the idea of me having a child so young but nonetheless they would welcome the unborn child with open arms. Kamala’s parents, on the other hand, I was worried about, as they already didn’t approve of our relationship so I could only imagine how it will be once they know she is pregnant. I am suppose to only be a passing fancy in the daughter’s life before she settles down with an appropriate Indian man.
“So, how was school today?” My mother asks in her perky voice as she bounces back into the living room with having put all of the groceries away. I just look over at her and from the look on my face; she knows something is going on. The smile falls from her lips and her posture become stiff.
“What’s going on?” She asks seriously as she takes a seat on the love seat across from us. My mother never misses anything, probably comes from being a counselor at a local elementary school.
Kamala gets out of my embrace and sits up, facing my mother but continues to stay curled up in herself and not meeting anyone’s eyes. I look between both my mother and Kamala before realizing that I’m going to have to do all of the talking. “Mom…See um…something has happened and well…we didn’t go to school today…well we did but um…we left and came here….” I start to say, trying not to lie to her as my mother can sniff out a lie from the other side of the house, but when I glance over at her she seems to just know something more is coming.
I stop and take a deep breathe, looking over I see Kamala just trembling but continuing to look down at the rug. “Mom…um….Kamala….she’s kinda…um…pregnant?” I finally get out stumbling over every word trying to get out of my mouth. Probably not making any sense but when I finally get my self to look up I see that my mother is just sitting across from us with this open mouth look of surprise on her face.
The three of us seem to just sit in silence for awhile except for the ticking of the clock, just like earlier. Time seems to always be ticking by.
“Well…So…I see.” My mom finally gets out after she seems to snap herself out of the shock from the news.
Glancing over to Kamala who has turned her face back down towards her knees; I can feel her body shaking next to me. Looking over to my mom, I wrap my arms around Kamala’s shaking body and pull her as close as I can with her bundled up in the overly large hoodie. She allows me easily, but she still doesn’t make any movements. I think she is scared of what my mom will do, all of my friends adore my mother and none of them ever want to deal with my mother’s wrath.
“Kamala honey.” My mother says after a few more moments of silence which is when she probably realizes that she is going to have to make the first move.
“Yes, ma’am.” Kamala replies as she peeks her eyes up from over her knees. Her eyes look bloodshot; it’s obvious she’s been crying heavily. She wipes at her nose as she sniffs a few more times but continues to stay curled up against my side.
“Have you talked to your family about this at all?” My mother asks as she bends down a little, trying to bring herself closer to the two of us.
I can feel Kamala seize up beside me and tries to scoot away from me but I hold her tight and won’t allow her to escape from my grip. “What is it babe?” I ask her in concern as I try to look at her face but she keeps looking away from us.
“I…I told Hajari…He told me to…to um…get it taken care of.” Kamala finally stutters out before hiding her face in her knees again, leaving both my mother and I completely slack jawed. All I can do is just look at my utterly distraught girlfriend who is now carrying my child and just the thought of this new life being extinguished before it can begin just makes my brain shut down.
I hear my mother clear her throat, looking over at her I see her face settle into a new hardened set which means she has made up her mind. “Honey that is not an option. We are here for you and everything will be taken care of from here on out.” My mother tells her as she nods at us before getting up and going back into the kitchen.
I rub my free hand up and down her back, trying my best to sooth her and get her calmed down. “My entire family is here for you. Nothing bad will come to you or our child.” I tell her softly as I continue to hold her close to my body and allow her to just release all of her pent up emotions. The sobs and gasping cries are almost too much for me to take but I know she needs this.
Keeping my arms wrapped firmly around her shaking frame, I think to how my family will take the news of a new addition being added to the family so suddenly. Mother of course isn’t happy but she wont shun me or the baby, both of my grandparents will be ecstatic to have a great-grandchild to spoil as much as possible; as for my two aunts and five uncles, I’m not entirely sure how they will take the news. One of my uncles is gay, so I’m pretty sure he will be happy of the news and my two aunts will be too as the pressure will be off from them to have any children by my grandparents….not entirely sure of my four uncles though.
~*~*~*~
If only I had known that from then on, things would get gradually worse and more complicated.
Mother wanted Kamala to move in with us, to make sure she is well taken care of but her family would not have it. They were not supportive of this pregnancy at all. I was going over there everyday after school and eventually as her pregnancy progressed further along, I was going over there everyday to pick her up in my car as we didn’t want her exerting herself too much.
Frequently I would arrive in the middle of a shouting match, most of it I never understood a word of what was spoken as it was all in their native tongue of Hindi but other times I would understand it all completely.
The first time it happened was barely a week after we told her family the news,
“You are a black stain upon our immaculate family. Why can you not be more like your sister Mahesa who is just what a perfect Hindu woman should be.”
It just got worst from there, the next yelling conversation I stumbled upon was some of the worst things I had ever heard from one family member to another, “Get this business taken care of Kamala, you are setting a bad example for Avatari and Denali. Do not go giving them any ideas of what is allowed in America, I will not allow it in this house! If I had known what coming here would do to you, I would have left you back in India.”
This particular shouted conversation lasted for close to 45 minutes before I was able to pull her out of the suffocating house and into my SUV, that day we didn’t make it to school.
“I only allowed you to get involved with that…that boy because you promised me, you promise your family that you would uphold your betrothal after school. We provide you with a roof, clothes, food, and a good education and you pay us back by...by…allowing that boy to defile you like this!” Her mother was in a particularly foul mood that morning and from what Kamala mentioned about being up most of the night hugging the toilet explained why.
This was just early on into the pregnancy before Kamala was even showing.
When it came out that Kamala was pregnant…it wasn’t pretty. We got dirty looks; most of our group of friends shunned us and refused to have anything to do with us. I think it had something to do with their parents, but I never heard anything for sure on that.
Her family was absolutely not helpful to her or to our baby. They wouldn’t take her to any of her doctor appointments, get her any new clothes as she gradually got bigger, buy her any prenatal vitamins or tried to be helpful in any sense of the word. A few times, I’m almost positive they tried to abort her, but thankfully my mother and I caught it quickly enough that the baby was saved.
Once Kamala was too far for a legal abortion to even be possible, her family turned into people that you see in movies. She became pretty much shunned by her relatives both far and near. I even heard snatches of conversation that her older sister was so embarrassed by Kamala’s surprise pregnancy that she refuses to acknowledge her. I could see how much it was all wearing on Kamala that she just gradually became more and more depressed.
She went from being the ‘it’ girl in school and a princess in her family’s eyes to being this unwanted and dirty thing that no one wanted anything to do with. Her appearance consisted of sweat pants, all stolen from her brothers probably, and hoodies that were so baggy they didn’t show any of her once proud figure.
From the very first time that Kamala brought me home to her family as her boyfriend, they never liked me. I wasn’t Indian. I wasn’t of Hindu belief. I wanted to become a chef which to them wasn’t a prestigious enough career. They kept throwing in both of our faces that Kamala’s older siblings are all doing extremely well.
Nitesh, her oldest brother, is a lawyer and is regarded very highly in his field of expertise with journals being thrown in our faces stating that very fact over and over again.
Hajari, an older brother by a few years, is currently in medical school to become a surgeon. Of course he goes to one of the best schools and does extremely well in his classes with printouts of his grades on the refrigerator.
Mahesa, an older sister by two years and I remember very well when she was in school. She isn’t in college instead her parents married her off to some extremely wealthy guy in Canada, already has two kids and expecting another.
Kamala has two younger siblings that are still in Middle school so thankfully their amazing achievements can’t also be thrown in our face.
Holding Kamala in the doctor’s office as he tells her that she is at high risk of losing the baby in her seventh month due to her high amount of stress, I look over at my mother standing nearby and I feel so lost at what I should do. This isn’t a situation she can help with.
For the past seven months, my entire family has been nothing but supportive no matter how far away they live. My grandparents have already made a trip down to see us and are nothing but excited about the coming baby. Both of my aunts have been showering us with gifts for the upcoming baby despite us not knowing the sex. My one uncle who is gay has been by the house multiple times to check on us and help as much as he can.
Thinking back to the obvious differences, it’s rather surprising that the stress of the situation is just now catching up to Kamala.
Looking at her, laying down on the examination table, she is truly a glowing goddess. Pregnancy does look good on her despite the bags under her eyes, stringy and obviously unwashed hair, make-up free face and the ugly blue and green hospital gown she is wearing over her bulging belly.
When we finally walk out of the doctor’s office with my mother leading the way and me pretty much holding Kamala up right. “I can’t do this anymore Bill! I don’t want to go through all of this just to end up losing it.” She tells me quietly as she keeps a firm grip on my bicep.
Glancing down, I see how defeated she has become over the past few months and I know that if I want this baby to come in the world healthy and alive then it will be up to me to make sure it happens because apparently Kamala has completely given up and allowed her family to win. I rub my hand around her now very apparent protruding belly only to have her push my hand away.
“Don’t touch me or it. I just want to be left alone.” She tells me angrily as she lets go of me and waddles up to my mother who has just opened the door to the backseat of my blue Ford Edge.
I have noticed that her depression has become even worst recently as she has completely withdrawn into herself. If anyone even tries to touch her or the baby, she’ll snap at us and push us away. I have also noticed that she doesn’t rub her belly any longer like I remember her doing when we first found out. Then she was ecstatic about the pregnancy despite her family’s wishes and views but now it appears it has all become too much for her. The most unsettling thing for me is how Kamala is now referring to our unborn child as ‘it’ instead them or he/she like in the beginning.
We’ve been given the option to be told the sex of our child plenty of times but Kamala refuses. She tells me that she wants to be surprised but I now have come to the conclusion that she doesn’t want to become attached to our child. Whenever I bring up potential names for our child, she always changes the subject or just tells me not now. I’ve given up even trying and now I turn to my mom and other family members for help.
“I’ve just got two more months of this pain and then it will all be over.” I hear her mutter when she adjusts the pillows in the backseat for her back pain before managing to buckle the seatbelt. I pretend like I don’t hear her and just turn my attention on the road ahead of us as my mother drives us back to our house.
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Please let me know what you guys think so far.
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Chapter 2