Fic: To See The World in a Grain of Sand (Part 7)
Fic title: To See the World in a Grain of Sand
Author name: belledewinter
Artist name: beelikej
Genre: AU RPS Slash
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word count: Around 45.000
Fic Warnings: AU.
Summary: Steampunk AU. Heartbroken and eager to prove himself, Jensen Ackles makes a bet: that he will be able to go around the world in 80 days, no matter what obstacles one could find along the way.
With the aid of a man with many hidden talents who now acts as his valet and a young engineer with a dubious heritage and a disarming smile, Jensen embarks on the journey of a lifetime, not knowing that danger is always just one step behind him. Will he make it home in time?
Link to fic: Here.
Link to art: Here.
The days on the streamers go by quicker than Jensen would like, but between the two of them they manage to keep their heads on straight the best they can. Jensen tells himself that Misha will make it home safely, and that one day, he may not feel so guilty over having left him behind, no matter what the man said before they left Hong Kong.
It’s Jared that troubles him, mostly. Jared, who has taken to sleeping for as long as he can, and who seems to remain rather silent now the two of them are alone. Jared, who actually managed to kiss Jensen, and who does not, for all his sudden shame and awkwardness around him, seem in the least bit sorry. It makes Jensen happy to think that despite it all, Jared still smiles at him when he thinks nobody else is looking.
Jensen really wants to kiss him. Not stay still and wait for it, dumbstruck and surprised and mostly just with his head off in something else. Wants to have it happen when they have nothing else to do, and when there is so much going on in the steamer that it makes his head spin. All the time, really, because any second chance would do.
It ends up happening after three days, three slow days of dancing around each other, almost like it didn’t happen and it was all in Jensen’s head. Jensen is about to step into his room and Jared puts his hand on Jensen’s arms, waits for him to turn.
The corridor is dark at this hour, and Jensen can’t really forget that they are surrounded by more people than he can count sleeping in the room around them, but Jared’s lips are warm and soft against his, and this time, he can kiss back.
When Jared finally lets him go, Jensen doesn’t want to. It feels like London and his old life were an eternity ago, where there were other kinds of men around him. Like he himself was another man, and that he would not know himself in that reflection.
When he’s about to sleep he thinks that it’s only a kiss. It can not make them reach their destination faster, it can’t bring Misha back to them. It can’t stop Jensen from checking his watch and think, We may never make it. And still.
He wouldn’t change that kiss for the world.
When they get to Yokohama the sun is high up in the sky, a gorgeous morning in a beautiful city, and Jensen gets off the steamer with the high hope that soon they will once again be able to keep travelling. At the moment they are on schedule - that is, of course, and with a few hours to spare.
“Where to?” Jared asks, and Jensen turns to look at him with the brightest smile.
“We should not venture too far from the docks, I think,” Jensen says. “If Misha has taken a steam or a ferry, he will probably not be late for all that long, and we have until nightfall to catch another streamer for San Francisco.” Jared frowns. “What? San Francisco doesn’t seem particularly exciting after the wonders we have seen in India and Hong Kong?”
Jared laughs, “It’s the streamer I’m not particularly thrilled about. The crowd in this one made it… not quite a comfortable ride, not to mention that there wasn’t much to do in it. Very little use for what I could learn, too.”
“I thought you liked steamers.”
Jared smiles. “Not so much after I destroyed half of the one to Bombay.”
“Ahh, yes, of course,” Jensen replies, and laughs as well. “Well, I for one will be keeping much fonder memories of this one, of that you can be sure.” That brings on another kind of smile - something softer, almost a secret. Jensen wants to kiss him again, but he’s not sure of how it would be taken if he kissed another man in broad daylight. Jared is not as troubled by this, of course - and leans in for a kiss that Jensen has little option but to return.
It’s fast and soft, barely a brush before he pulls away, but just enough. This way, of course, Jensen knows that at the very least it was not the product of being locked together in a steamer that was too small and too clamped and with rooms that really did offer very little to do.
“Jared,” Jensen starts. “You know we may have to be careful while we-“
“Kiss in broad daylight, yes, that would be wise, anyone could be able to see, and then what will happen to your reputation?” Misha’s voice comes right from behind Jensen, and he would be annoyed that the man still has no concept of personal space - would, if he was not intensely relieved to see him. “Not that you have a reputation, of course,” Misha completes after Jared has thrown himself into his arms and is trapping him like he was never going to let go. “If you manage to strangle me right now, whatever’s left of your reputation may yet get worse, just so you know.”
“We thought we’d lost you.” Jensen says, giving a one-armed hug because he is unable to fit over Jared’s body covering Misha’s. “I figured you would have found a way to come here, or that you would have been in London somehow.”
“Oh, there’s still a long way to go before we reach London,” Misha says once they’ve let go. “But tell you what, your deductions were not too far off. I did think of taking the next ferry.”
Jensen frowns. It is true that Misha seems to have gotten here way before they did, judging by the tranquil features. It does not seem like he has been in a rush for at least a few hours. “I can’t figure out how you managed to arrive here before us - please don’t tell me you had hidden in the steamer.”
“Absolutely not,” Misha says, almost offended. “But I did tell you I had a friend who often traveled to Hong Kong - and I was lucky enough to find him,” The smile on his face lights up the whole room. “It had been a while since we last saw each other, but of course he was pleased to take me in and help me get back to you. Well, more than a friend, he is. Well, you know.” Jensen blinks. He cannot mean- “A mentor.” Oh. Of course. “Everything I have learnt mostly comes from him, and I’m sure there is still a lot that can be learnt from him.”
“Is he around? Can we meet him?” Jared asks, and Misha seems so very pleased that he asked.
“Of course,” Misha responds. “In fact, Jensen, I have told him about your bet in these days, and he says he would be willing to help, but for now he can only carry us to San Francisco and not all the way to London. He would stray too much in his course.”
Jensen beams and he cannot help the rush of glee. “That is already marvelous, Misha. Where is he?”
“He’s been behind you the whole time,” Misha deadpans. “But of course, not so close that you would not have been able to ignore him.” Both Jared and Jensen turn and examine the small crowd at the docks. People walk in all directions, but beyond them there is a little restaurant that serves raw fish and various kinds of beverages. There is a lovely blonde woman with golden hair serving, a couple of women dressed in the traditional kimono, sailors who have stopped to eat… and a curious individual that Jensen cannot believe he has missed.
“The gentleman in blue?” Jensen says.
“I knew you would know him on sight,” Misha responds. Jensen examines the man as they walk towards him, the blue attire with brocade, the turban and the dense beard over his cinnamon skin. When the three of them reach him, he takes a bow as a salute.
“My friends,” Misha says, “Please allow me to introduce Captain Nemo,” The Captain lowers his head, “A Sikh prince back in his land, but a more on the lines of a pirate by now. I figure he’s a celebrity by now, considering his constant battle against the British,” Jensen is almost afraid to ask if that will mean they will not be welcome in this company. “Well, you do know what he’s famous for, don’t you?”
His beard, Jensen wants to say. He cannot for the life of him look away, even though he knows it’s rude to stare. But the answer is, of course… his ship, that only seems to appear at the most unexpected of times and out of thin air. “I thought it was a legend.”
The Captain seems almost offended. His accent is foreign and hard, but he speaks the language perfectly well. “I can assure you, Lord Ackles, that the Nautilus is very much a reality.” The Captain finishes the drink in his hand almost as an afterthought, and looks at Jensen with what seems to be a slight disdain. “I expect you have no intention to reveal you know me once you get back to your land?”
Jensen quickly lifts his hands up as if to reassure him. “Of course not, Captain. We are here merely because of a bet.” The Captain seems to not quite be reassured by that. “Besides, a friend of Misha’s is a friend of ours,” It does not escape Jensen that the Captain looks at him with just a slight trace of disbelief. Still, it must be the thought that counts, because against all odds, he nods.
“Misha, are you responsible for these men, then?”
Misha smiles. “By all means, Captain. You can rest assured.”
“Then, if you do not mind, gentlemen, I should like to finish buying my supplies before we head to my ship. We will meet here at nightfall, if you do not mind - I would rather not have too many people take a look of my… home, if you will call it that.”
“I understand perfectly,” Jensen says. “We will meet here soon, then, Captain, and once again, thank you for your kindness, and for reuniting us with Misha again.”
“Oh,” the Captain says, and Jensen can see coming what’s next, “It’s not you I do it for. Still, I will accept the gratitude of an Englishman, since they so rarely seem to give it.”
Ouch.
“It is a pleasure to have met you, Captain,” Jared says, and it’s only now that Jensen notices the reverence Jared is looking at Nemo with, almost like he was some kind of God. Nemo turns to Jared with a much more merciful stare.
“And you, my boy. I have heard a lot from your skill - and if half of what Misha says is true, I would happily show you around. Maybe the two of us will have something to offer one another.” Jared seems so happy to hear that that he may fly. “So long, gentlemen. Remember, we meet when the night falls. I will be expecting you, but I will not wait for very long.”
“We will be on time, rest assured,” Jensen says, and it’s like he’s been saying that all his life. Clockwork, at least, is something he can do without a single doubt. The Captain disappears almost instantly in the crowd, leaving the three of them staring after him.
“Nemo,” Jared says, torn between awe and utter pleasure. “Captain Nemo is your mentor? And you never said before?”
“It had never seemed relevant until now,” Misha responds, “But now that you have met him and he’ll help us with our task, aren’t you glad?”
“You lied to me,” Jared says, and turns to Misha in disbelief. “You lied to me and told me he was not real, and I almost believed you. His work concerning his ships is legendary - so much that the little we have seen everyone doubted would ever be put to use. He’s a legend among…” He hesitates, and his joy seems to be mitigated when both Misha and Jensen look at one another and smile knowingly. “Well, among those who work with me, I guess.”
“He’s endearing, isn’t he?” Misha says, and Jensen cannot agree more, but he doesn’t say out loud. Jared gets it, though, looks up at him and smiles down to the floor, almost as if ashamed. “I would grab him by the cheeks if I were not scared of getting cut on those chiseled cheekbones.”
It makes Jensen laugh, and Jared looks back up at him with glee, then he turns to Misha and fakes a slight pout, “Now, are you done laughing at me yet?”
Misha smiles, “Not by far, boy, but for the time being, you can rest assured that I will not poke any more fun at you until we reach the ship. I cannot wait to see your face when you see it - and in all honesty, I will love to see Jensen’s when he looks out the bullseye windows, too.”
Jensen pipes up, interested. He imagines that that kind of ship would have all kinds of things to lok at, but of course the water around it must have so many more, and the fact that Misha knows and doesn’t tell him frustrates him. He has a flash of his father’s books in the library, full of animals and boats and oh, everything. And it’s such a shame that Jensen did not pay more attention when his father talked about Nemo. His father did by no means believe him a legend, and that alone gives whatever surprise that’s coming so much more meaning. “What is there to see?”
“Where is the fun if I tell you?” Misha replies. “Now, shall we get some breakfast? I’m starving.”
Misha is at the Temple when they all finally get some time to breathe - meditating the deep meaning of life, Jensen guesses, and he would have liked to be able to find the same, for sure, but he’s afraid it may not quite do when Jared’s standing so very close full of answers. And in a way, isn’t it the same that Misha is doing?
They wait for him that afternoon, eating some kind of ice-cream made with ice and strawberry syrup, something sticky and sweet that Jared is immediately in love with and that Jensen finds a taste for despite himself, even if it’s winter now and they would be much better suited eating some hot soup. He doesn’t notice he has said that out loud until Jared replies, “Oh, but you might get soup yet - it’s not dinner time and I don’t know what Nemo would serve!”
Jensen laughs. And here he thought he was more entertaining than Nemo himself. Jared has killed that hope within seconds, but brings it back when he offers Jensen the rest of his ice-cream (green tea, in Jared’s case - Jensen thinks he may like it even better than the strawberry) and just smiles, and really, for just a few moments there isn’t anything else in the world.
“Do you want to get to London?” Jared asks.
“Honestly?” Jensen responds with a half smile that he tries to hide behind his ice-cream, “I’m rather enjoying the journey.” Jared laughs, and it’s like the sun. Yokohama doesn’t seem so cold anymore, or anything at all.
The Nautilus is everything they dreamed of.
And considering that Jared has been dreaming a lot, that really is a very high level of impressive. The ship appears right after sunset, once the streets are empty and the docks even more so. Those few workers that remained have already gone for a drink or, hopefully, to sleep, and there is very little for them to see. It does not appear immediately, of course. Almost magically, when the street really falls quiet that Nemo knows how to appear.
The water lifts all of a sudden, a flurry of black and white metallic crest. It’s almost like the world started to sink around the ship, the water rippling around the void that quickly gets filled by a mile of metal, carved intricately into the gorgeous shape that give the machine its name, twisting and turning until it appears like a sword that cuts the ocean, that slashes right throw with the most perfect kind of beauty, all glimmering and pale under the moonlit sky.
Jared looks up at the apparatus that has just appeared with the smallest of noises, a dull whirr that does not quite fade out, but that seems to be about to the whole time.
“It’s so beautiful,” Jared says, and Jensen does not seem to have anything to say, at least not while his mouth is hanging open - so prettily, of course, but open all the same. He looks around as if expecting Misha to tell them what to do, but the platform is lowered quickly within the minute, something black and sleek that lands right at their feet with the lightest hum. “Welcome aboard,” Misha says, since Nemo is nowhere in sight and what they see inside the ship is dark.
“Are you sure we should-“ Jensen is starting to ask, and Jared knows perfectly well what he means. “Are you sure we should be stepping somewhere dark and ominous in the middle of the ocean?”, and were it not because Misha seems so sure of what he’s doing, Jared would not be particularly eager to walking the metal platform. Or wait, - he absolutely would, if only because the sound the motors make are mesmerizing and, were Jensen not standing right there with him, he would have fallen irremediably in love. He suspects that telling Jensen just that may not be completely welcome, but still understood.
They walk inside, and for a moment there is nothing there to see after the platform retreats and folds into the closed gate. The tiny lights start to appear gently, shushed, almost like little candles flickering around the place. Jared can make out the path the lights intend to lead them to as the chamber lights up and they are surrounded by sturdy metallic walls and a wide archway that takes them to the heart of the ship.
Once inside, Captain Nemo himself is waiting for them. There are so many things that Jared wants to ask, and a million questions pass fleetingly through his head. If only half of what he’s heard is true - and he’s sure it is, because Misha, even though he pretended this man in front of them did not exist, never actually corrected Jared on any of the stories he told - the man’s travels through the sea are what legends are made of.
The room the captain is waiting in what seems to be some kind of deck, with all kinds of levers on one side of the room and an impressive chair he seems to direct everything from. The wall behind the man is made entirely out of glass, and the three of them watch mesmerized how the ship shifts and sinks, and the sight of moonlight is quickly changed by a vast expanse of water in every direction, the way lit by the Nautilus once they reach the depths.
“I expect,” the Captain says, “that whatever you have heard of my ship will pale in comparison to what you will see in your few days with me.”
With every new room that Misha shows him, Jared seems about to burst with happiness. It’s impressive, Misha thinks, how much a library and an engine room can change so drastically when the person you are showing them to has the glee of a child. Misha has been in these rooms for years, but he guesses that if he had never seen them, he would be impressed as well by the bookshelves that cover a whole chamber, or the kind of machinery that he knows Jared has not really seen anywhere else in the world. The small, strong glass eyes in the ship that show a view of the depths also seem to fascinate Jared.
“Have you found a giant squid already?” Misha asks, and pretends to be scanning the view outside. Jared’s face lights up immediately and he does his best to look in the direction Misha seems looking at, as well. “I think if you just squinted…”
It takes Jared a few seconds to take his eyes off the glass and stare back at Misha with a small smile. “There aren’t any squids, are there?”
Misha laughs. “Not here, I don’t think. But I saw them, once, if that’s your question.”
Jared seems to be satisfied with that, and they keep walking on towards the bedrooms the captain has provided for him and Jensen. “Did you really grow up here, Misha? What was it like?”
Misha has to think very carefully his response. “I was not a baby when I arrived here, Jared. It’s true that the Captain has been a mentor for me, but he never really treated me as a child. I learned to do all sorts of things that could be of use under his tutelage, but don’t think for a second that he didn’t make me work hard.”
“He doesn’t seem like the conversational type, really,” Jared concedes.
“I do think he is happy to have me here, though.” Misha says honestly. Over the years, even though the Captain is a rather solitary man who does not act affectionately, the crinkle in his eye is something Misha would not mistake for anything other than pride. They finally reach Jared’s door and he opens it to reveal a small room with a bed and a desk, and a view of the sea they can enjoy through the small window by the table. “And you, possibly.”
“Me?” Jared asks, confused. “Because I’ve read of his adventures?”
“He says you remind him of someone he once met,” Misha says. “He couldn’t quite place the name, but I’m sure he eventually will. It may be little more than a memory of one of the many faces he has seen, Jared, but…”
“But what?” Jared says, stepping into the room and letting Misha in.
“He seemed so certain. I think he knows who your father is, Jared. And where to find him.”
Jared’s face seems to go very pale at that, his eyes wide and hopeful. “Is he sure of that? That he knows who the man would be?”
Misha shakes his head. “I can’t promise you he will be right, Jared. As far as I know, your mother went to look for him in London and was unable to find him in years. I don’t doubt that you remind Nemo of someone, but I can’t promise you it will finally be what you wanted to hear.”
“Of course,” Jared says, but his eyes remain fixed on Misha with such hope that his friend wishes more than anything that the Captain is right in his guess.
Captain Nemo is a very impressive man, Jensen thinks.
Once he shows Jensen the route they will be making with the Nautilus that will take them to San Francisco, Jensen wants to thank his stars for giving him just this push of luck. He’s certain that it will be the only thing that will help them recover the time they have lost, and finally back on schedule, they may make it to London. May.
“I could have never reached the city on time without you, Captain. Thank you.”
The Captain waves him off with a blunt gesture. “It will be nothing. Misha has told me what you want to do, and if that is the truth, a delay provoked by your rival requires that you, too, should have something… How do you Englishmen say it? When you have a trick left.”
“Something up my sleeve?”
“Precisely.” The Captain finishes with a smile. “Misha tells me many things about you. I understand he has saved your friend’s life, among other things.”
“In all honesty, I think it was his friend first, Captain.”
The Captain chuckles at that. “He always knew where to find the best people, that boy. It pleases me that he is at your service. You may rest now, if you wish. You will be safe under my roof.”
“Thank you again, Captain,” Jensen says, and takes out his pocket watch as he walks away. He can barely make out the hour under the dim light, and he’s sure he will not be able to tell the time by the light while they remain underwater. For just a second, it’s like the walls close in and trap him. The ticking of the clock makes his skin crawl.
“Lord Ackles?” The Captain calls in a commanding voice, and Jensen turns at that instant, woken from his daydream.
“Yes, Captain?”
“Don’t stare so much at that watch.”
Jared dreams.
But rather than his mother, he sees himself at the bottom of the ocean, floating among the fish he has seen through Nemo’s glass windows, the water gently cradling his form, keeping him weightless and safe. The water doesn’t feel cold, and even though Jared thinks it’s night, he sees the scenery around him in some sort of glittery blue.
He swims through the ocean thinking that there’s still a long way to go to get where he wants to be, that there is no destination in sight. But he knows in his dream that it finally seems that he’s going somewhere, moving in that direction, if slowly, and for now that lets him sleep peacefully, buried many miles underwater, safely wrapped by the sea.
Jensen almost thinks of not calling on Jared’s door. He can’t hear anything but the hum of the machinery moving fast through the water. The crew - which he has not seen, but he knows is likely to exist - has either retired or is very silent. Both the Captain and Misha are nowhere to be found.
It doesn’t make him feel particularly safe to be trapped in a place where he won’t be able to tell night from day, where he will simply have to wait and leave things in somebody else’s hands. It has been such a long time since Jensen last had that privilege. If he pays close attention he can still hear the pocket watch tucked inside his vest, ticking away like a second heart.
He knocks on the door, very softly, but once there isn’t any noise, he carefully opens the door to look inside. Jared is very still on his bed, covered by all sorts of blankets, lit by the reflection of the ship’s lights outside coming through the small window in his room. He seems to sleep so comfortably that Jensen doesn’t want to wake him, but almost as if following that thought Jared’s eyes open and find Jensen.
Jensen’s first thought is that he should not be here. “I’m sorry, he quickly utters. I’ll go.”
“No, please.” Jared says, voice broken. It’s like he isn’t quite awake just yet, but he’s doing his best to come back to his senses. “You really don’t have to go. What happens?”
Jensen smiles at Jared’s eager words. He seems slightly concerned, and Jensen feels guilty for making him worry. He closes the door and sits on Jared’s bed. Jared’s hands immediately reach out for his. “I’m not particularly comfortable on the ship,” Jensen confesses. “I don’t think I had ever felt so… trapped. There really isn’t anywhere to go next while we’re in here.”
“It frustrates you to wait.”
“It frustrates me to think that I may not make it to London,” Jensen corrects. “But having nowhere to go and having other people decides feels a lot like-,” he searches in his mind for the word, for what the feeling reminds him of, of what it means to be among four walls and not have anywhere to go. “Home. It reminds me of home.”
Jared frowns at that, but he says nothing. He nods, just once, like he understands. Jensen looks at him, at his disheveled hair and glazed eyes, and feels at ease, like there’s a weight that’s been lifted off his chest and he can breathe. He leans down to kiss him and feels lightheaded when Jared responds, quickly shifting his position to embrace Jensen with all his strength. Jensen thinks for just a second that he should go. That it’s not something a gentleman should do, creeping into bedrooms at night, but Jared’s lips are at his throat when he pulls away to breathe, and with a hazy head and half-lidded eyes, he doesn’t care about who will talk or who could see. It’s just the two of them, in the middle of the ocean, and Jensen can’t think of a safer place.
Jared’s hands are slightly rough, but warm, and Jensen has to stifle a moan as they slip beneath his clothes. Jared is watching him closely, pupils blown wide and lips eager and hot against Jensen’s skin. “Do you really want this?” Jensen asks, and Jared seems, for a moment, confused. Like he can’t believe that Jensen would really ask him that. It hits Jensen then how what should confuse him is how people do this and stay with one another when they don’t, not really. It’s some kind of relief to know that Jared is not the same kind of man that Jensen had known before, and kisses the confusion away.
Jensen lets himself fall into it, doesn’t think, doesn’t mind when Jared takes his clothes and they end up on the ground, the pocket watch still somewhere in between the rumpled fabric, ticking away. Jensen hears it, still, thinks of the time that’s passing with his chest pressed close to Jared, their heartbeats pressed together in a rhythm the clock can only poorly imitate.
Jared kisses him, steamy and sweet, with Jensen’s legs around his hips, the two of them pressed together like they were never going to be set apart, hands raking down his back and whispered words that Jensen can barely make out at his ear. Jensen tangles his fingers in his too-long, messy hair, rocks against him with his forehead pressed to Jared’s shoulder and Jared’s lips on his skin, his fingers tracing the outline of Jared’s recent scar.
If the day after someone notices that Jensen did not sleep in his own bed, nobody comments.
For the rest of their journey inside the Nautilus, Jensen studies cartography and learns about places he had never thought he’d see. If he makes it back to London, he thinks, if he’s still a Lord and has the means, he will help as many people as he can. Not just in his city, but everywhere he goes. And the world is vast and wide, and there are so, so many places he can still get to see. Jared reads all kinds of novels that Misha leaves in his path before he disappears again to work around the ship, novels about a visit to the moon or travelling by balloon, and Jensen does his best to read over his shoulder and enjoy them as much as he can, too.
When they finally reach San Francisco a few days later, Jensen is more than eager to go on, but at the same time, he has nothing but fond memories of the Nautilus. He’s starting to enjoy the journey more than the arrival to the next destination, and the thought of leaving behind Somerhalder and the bet passes through his head just once as they descend through the platform to arrive at the docks.
It’s almost strange to hear again the ticking of the clock, and he takes out his pocket watch to check the time almost by reflex once they reach the ground.
“Where to now, Sir?” Misha asks. Jensen knows now for sure that every time the man calls him “Sir”, it’s pretty much with irony.
“Out next destination is New York.”
Author name: belledewinter
Artist name: beelikej
Genre: AU RPS Slash
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: R
Word count: Around 45.000
Fic Warnings: AU.
Summary: Steampunk AU. Heartbroken and eager to prove himself, Jensen Ackles makes a bet: that he will be able to go around the world in 80 days, no matter what obstacles one could find along the way.
With the aid of a man with many hidden talents who now acts as his valet and a young engineer with a dubious heritage and a disarming smile, Jensen embarks on the journey of a lifetime, not knowing that danger is always just one step behind him. Will he make it home in time?
Link to fic: Here.
Link to art: Here.
The days on the streamers go by quicker than Jensen would like, but between the two of them they manage to keep their heads on straight the best they can. Jensen tells himself that Misha will make it home safely, and that one day, he may not feel so guilty over having left him behind, no matter what the man said before they left Hong Kong.
It’s Jared that troubles him, mostly. Jared, who has taken to sleeping for as long as he can, and who seems to remain rather silent now the two of them are alone. Jared, who actually managed to kiss Jensen, and who does not, for all his sudden shame and awkwardness around him, seem in the least bit sorry. It makes Jensen happy to think that despite it all, Jared still smiles at him when he thinks nobody else is looking.
Jensen really wants to kiss him. Not stay still and wait for it, dumbstruck and surprised and mostly just with his head off in something else. Wants to have it happen when they have nothing else to do, and when there is so much going on in the steamer that it makes his head spin. All the time, really, because any second chance would do.
It ends up happening after three days, three slow days of dancing around each other, almost like it didn’t happen and it was all in Jensen’s head. Jensen is about to step into his room and Jared puts his hand on Jensen’s arms, waits for him to turn.
The corridor is dark at this hour, and Jensen can’t really forget that they are surrounded by more people than he can count sleeping in the room around them, but Jared’s lips are warm and soft against his, and this time, he can kiss back.
When Jared finally lets him go, Jensen doesn’t want to. It feels like London and his old life were an eternity ago, where there were other kinds of men around him. Like he himself was another man, and that he would not know himself in that reflection.
When he’s about to sleep he thinks that it’s only a kiss. It can not make them reach their destination faster, it can’t bring Misha back to them. It can’t stop Jensen from checking his watch and think, We may never make it. And still.
He wouldn’t change that kiss for the world.
When they get to Yokohama the sun is high up in the sky, a gorgeous morning in a beautiful city, and Jensen gets off the steamer with the high hope that soon they will once again be able to keep travelling. At the moment they are on schedule - that is, of course, and with a few hours to spare.
“Where to?” Jared asks, and Jensen turns to look at him with the brightest smile.
“We should not venture too far from the docks, I think,” Jensen says. “If Misha has taken a steam or a ferry, he will probably not be late for all that long, and we have until nightfall to catch another streamer for San Francisco.” Jared frowns. “What? San Francisco doesn’t seem particularly exciting after the wonders we have seen in India and Hong Kong?”
Jared laughs, “It’s the streamer I’m not particularly thrilled about. The crowd in this one made it… not quite a comfortable ride, not to mention that there wasn’t much to do in it. Very little use for what I could learn, too.”
“I thought you liked steamers.”
Jared smiles. “Not so much after I destroyed half of the one to Bombay.”
“Ahh, yes, of course,” Jensen replies, and laughs as well. “Well, I for one will be keeping much fonder memories of this one, of that you can be sure.” That brings on another kind of smile - something softer, almost a secret. Jensen wants to kiss him again, but he’s not sure of how it would be taken if he kissed another man in broad daylight. Jared is not as troubled by this, of course - and leans in for a kiss that Jensen has little option but to return.
It’s fast and soft, barely a brush before he pulls away, but just enough. This way, of course, Jensen knows that at the very least it was not the product of being locked together in a steamer that was too small and too clamped and with rooms that really did offer very little to do.
“Jared,” Jensen starts. “You know we may have to be careful while we-“
“Kiss in broad daylight, yes, that would be wise, anyone could be able to see, and then what will happen to your reputation?” Misha’s voice comes right from behind Jensen, and he would be annoyed that the man still has no concept of personal space - would, if he was not intensely relieved to see him. “Not that you have a reputation, of course,” Misha completes after Jared has thrown himself into his arms and is trapping him like he was never going to let go. “If you manage to strangle me right now, whatever’s left of your reputation may yet get worse, just so you know.”
“We thought we’d lost you.” Jensen says, giving a one-armed hug because he is unable to fit over Jared’s body covering Misha’s. “I figured you would have found a way to come here, or that you would have been in London somehow.”
“Oh, there’s still a long way to go before we reach London,” Misha says once they’ve let go. “But tell you what, your deductions were not too far off. I did think of taking the next ferry.”
Jensen frowns. It is true that Misha seems to have gotten here way before they did, judging by the tranquil features. It does not seem like he has been in a rush for at least a few hours. “I can’t figure out how you managed to arrive here before us - please don’t tell me you had hidden in the steamer.”
“Absolutely not,” Misha says, almost offended. “But I did tell you I had a friend who often traveled to Hong Kong - and I was lucky enough to find him,” The smile on his face lights up the whole room. “It had been a while since we last saw each other, but of course he was pleased to take me in and help me get back to you. Well, more than a friend, he is. Well, you know.” Jensen blinks. He cannot mean- “A mentor.” Oh. Of course. “Everything I have learnt mostly comes from him, and I’m sure there is still a lot that can be learnt from him.”
“Is he around? Can we meet him?” Jared asks, and Misha seems so very pleased that he asked.
“Of course,” Misha responds. “In fact, Jensen, I have told him about your bet in these days, and he says he would be willing to help, but for now he can only carry us to San Francisco and not all the way to London. He would stray too much in his course.”
Jensen beams and he cannot help the rush of glee. “That is already marvelous, Misha. Where is he?”
“He’s been behind you the whole time,” Misha deadpans. “But of course, not so close that you would not have been able to ignore him.” Both Jared and Jensen turn and examine the small crowd at the docks. People walk in all directions, but beyond them there is a little restaurant that serves raw fish and various kinds of beverages. There is a lovely blonde woman with golden hair serving, a couple of women dressed in the traditional kimono, sailors who have stopped to eat… and a curious individual that Jensen cannot believe he has missed.
“The gentleman in blue?” Jensen says.
“I knew you would know him on sight,” Misha responds. Jensen examines the man as they walk towards him, the blue attire with brocade, the turban and the dense beard over his cinnamon skin. When the three of them reach him, he takes a bow as a salute.
“My friends,” Misha says, “Please allow me to introduce Captain Nemo,” The Captain lowers his head, “A Sikh prince back in his land, but a more on the lines of a pirate by now. I figure he’s a celebrity by now, considering his constant battle against the British,” Jensen is almost afraid to ask if that will mean they will not be welcome in this company. “Well, you do know what he’s famous for, don’t you?”
His beard, Jensen wants to say. He cannot for the life of him look away, even though he knows it’s rude to stare. But the answer is, of course… his ship, that only seems to appear at the most unexpected of times and out of thin air. “I thought it was a legend.”
The Captain seems almost offended. His accent is foreign and hard, but he speaks the language perfectly well. “I can assure you, Lord Ackles, that the Nautilus is very much a reality.” The Captain finishes the drink in his hand almost as an afterthought, and looks at Jensen with what seems to be a slight disdain. “I expect you have no intention to reveal you know me once you get back to your land?”
Jensen quickly lifts his hands up as if to reassure him. “Of course not, Captain. We are here merely because of a bet.” The Captain seems to not quite be reassured by that. “Besides, a friend of Misha’s is a friend of ours,” It does not escape Jensen that the Captain looks at him with just a slight trace of disbelief. Still, it must be the thought that counts, because against all odds, he nods.
“Misha, are you responsible for these men, then?”
Misha smiles. “By all means, Captain. You can rest assured.”
“Then, if you do not mind, gentlemen, I should like to finish buying my supplies before we head to my ship. We will meet here at nightfall, if you do not mind - I would rather not have too many people take a look of my… home, if you will call it that.”
“I understand perfectly,” Jensen says. “We will meet here soon, then, Captain, and once again, thank you for your kindness, and for reuniting us with Misha again.”
“Oh,” the Captain says, and Jensen can see coming what’s next, “It’s not you I do it for. Still, I will accept the gratitude of an Englishman, since they so rarely seem to give it.”
Ouch.
“It is a pleasure to have met you, Captain,” Jared says, and it’s only now that Jensen notices the reverence Jared is looking at Nemo with, almost like he was some kind of God. Nemo turns to Jared with a much more merciful stare.
“And you, my boy. I have heard a lot from your skill - and if half of what Misha says is true, I would happily show you around. Maybe the two of us will have something to offer one another.” Jared seems so happy to hear that that he may fly. “So long, gentlemen. Remember, we meet when the night falls. I will be expecting you, but I will not wait for very long.”
“We will be on time, rest assured,” Jensen says, and it’s like he’s been saying that all his life. Clockwork, at least, is something he can do without a single doubt. The Captain disappears almost instantly in the crowd, leaving the three of them staring after him.
“Nemo,” Jared says, torn between awe and utter pleasure. “Captain Nemo is your mentor? And you never said before?”
“It had never seemed relevant until now,” Misha responds, “But now that you have met him and he’ll help us with our task, aren’t you glad?”
“You lied to me,” Jared says, and turns to Misha in disbelief. “You lied to me and told me he was not real, and I almost believed you. His work concerning his ships is legendary - so much that the little we have seen everyone doubted would ever be put to use. He’s a legend among…” He hesitates, and his joy seems to be mitigated when both Misha and Jensen look at one another and smile knowingly. “Well, among those who work with me, I guess.”
“He’s endearing, isn’t he?” Misha says, and Jensen cannot agree more, but he doesn’t say out loud. Jared gets it, though, looks up at him and smiles down to the floor, almost as if ashamed. “I would grab him by the cheeks if I were not scared of getting cut on those chiseled cheekbones.”
It makes Jensen laugh, and Jared looks back up at him with glee, then he turns to Misha and fakes a slight pout, “Now, are you done laughing at me yet?”
Misha smiles, “Not by far, boy, but for the time being, you can rest assured that I will not poke any more fun at you until we reach the ship. I cannot wait to see your face when you see it - and in all honesty, I will love to see Jensen’s when he looks out the bullseye windows, too.”
Jensen pipes up, interested. He imagines that that kind of ship would have all kinds of things to lok at, but of course the water around it must have so many more, and the fact that Misha knows and doesn’t tell him frustrates him. He has a flash of his father’s books in the library, full of animals and boats and oh, everything. And it’s such a shame that Jensen did not pay more attention when his father talked about Nemo. His father did by no means believe him a legend, and that alone gives whatever surprise that’s coming so much more meaning. “What is there to see?”
“Where is the fun if I tell you?” Misha replies. “Now, shall we get some breakfast? I’m starving.”
Misha is at the Temple when they all finally get some time to breathe - meditating the deep meaning of life, Jensen guesses, and he would have liked to be able to find the same, for sure, but he’s afraid it may not quite do when Jared’s standing so very close full of answers. And in a way, isn’t it the same that Misha is doing?
They wait for him that afternoon, eating some kind of ice-cream made with ice and strawberry syrup, something sticky and sweet that Jared is immediately in love with and that Jensen finds a taste for despite himself, even if it’s winter now and they would be much better suited eating some hot soup. He doesn’t notice he has said that out loud until Jared replies, “Oh, but you might get soup yet - it’s not dinner time and I don’t know what Nemo would serve!”
Jensen laughs. And here he thought he was more entertaining than Nemo himself. Jared has killed that hope within seconds, but brings it back when he offers Jensen the rest of his ice-cream (green tea, in Jared’s case - Jensen thinks he may like it even better than the strawberry) and just smiles, and really, for just a few moments there isn’t anything else in the world.
“Do you want to get to London?” Jared asks.
“Honestly?” Jensen responds with a half smile that he tries to hide behind his ice-cream, “I’m rather enjoying the journey.” Jared laughs, and it’s like the sun. Yokohama doesn’t seem so cold anymore, or anything at all.
The Nautilus is everything they dreamed of.
And considering that Jared has been dreaming a lot, that really is a very high level of impressive. The ship appears right after sunset, once the streets are empty and the docks even more so. Those few workers that remained have already gone for a drink or, hopefully, to sleep, and there is very little for them to see. It does not appear immediately, of course. Almost magically, when the street really falls quiet that Nemo knows how to appear.
The water lifts all of a sudden, a flurry of black and white metallic crest. It’s almost like the world started to sink around the ship, the water rippling around the void that quickly gets filled by a mile of metal, carved intricately into the gorgeous shape that give the machine its name, twisting and turning until it appears like a sword that cuts the ocean, that slashes right throw with the most perfect kind of beauty, all glimmering and pale under the moonlit sky.
Jared looks up at the apparatus that has just appeared with the smallest of noises, a dull whirr that does not quite fade out, but that seems to be about to the whole time.
“It’s so beautiful,” Jared says, and Jensen does not seem to have anything to say, at least not while his mouth is hanging open - so prettily, of course, but open all the same. He looks around as if expecting Misha to tell them what to do, but the platform is lowered quickly within the minute, something black and sleek that lands right at their feet with the lightest hum. “Welcome aboard,” Misha says, since Nemo is nowhere in sight and what they see inside the ship is dark.
“Are you sure we should-“ Jensen is starting to ask, and Jared knows perfectly well what he means. “Are you sure we should be stepping somewhere dark and ominous in the middle of the ocean?”, and were it not because Misha seems so sure of what he’s doing, Jared would not be particularly eager to walking the metal platform. Or wait, - he absolutely would, if only because the sound the motors make are mesmerizing and, were Jensen not standing right there with him, he would have fallen irremediably in love. He suspects that telling Jensen just that may not be completely welcome, but still understood.
They walk inside, and for a moment there is nothing there to see after the platform retreats and folds into the closed gate. The tiny lights start to appear gently, shushed, almost like little candles flickering around the place. Jared can make out the path the lights intend to lead them to as the chamber lights up and they are surrounded by sturdy metallic walls and a wide archway that takes them to the heart of the ship.
Once inside, Captain Nemo himself is waiting for them. There are so many things that Jared wants to ask, and a million questions pass fleetingly through his head. If only half of what he’s heard is true - and he’s sure it is, because Misha, even though he pretended this man in front of them did not exist, never actually corrected Jared on any of the stories he told - the man’s travels through the sea are what legends are made of.
The room the captain is waiting in what seems to be some kind of deck, with all kinds of levers on one side of the room and an impressive chair he seems to direct everything from. The wall behind the man is made entirely out of glass, and the three of them watch mesmerized how the ship shifts and sinks, and the sight of moonlight is quickly changed by a vast expanse of water in every direction, the way lit by the Nautilus once they reach the depths.
“I expect,” the Captain says, “that whatever you have heard of my ship will pale in comparison to what you will see in your few days with me.”
With every new room that Misha shows him, Jared seems about to burst with happiness. It’s impressive, Misha thinks, how much a library and an engine room can change so drastically when the person you are showing them to has the glee of a child. Misha has been in these rooms for years, but he guesses that if he had never seen them, he would be impressed as well by the bookshelves that cover a whole chamber, or the kind of machinery that he knows Jared has not really seen anywhere else in the world. The small, strong glass eyes in the ship that show a view of the depths also seem to fascinate Jared.
“Have you found a giant squid already?” Misha asks, and pretends to be scanning the view outside. Jared’s face lights up immediately and he does his best to look in the direction Misha seems looking at, as well. “I think if you just squinted…”
It takes Jared a few seconds to take his eyes off the glass and stare back at Misha with a small smile. “There aren’t any squids, are there?”
Misha laughs. “Not here, I don’t think. But I saw them, once, if that’s your question.”
Jared seems to be satisfied with that, and they keep walking on towards the bedrooms the captain has provided for him and Jensen. “Did you really grow up here, Misha? What was it like?”
Misha has to think very carefully his response. “I was not a baby when I arrived here, Jared. It’s true that the Captain has been a mentor for me, but he never really treated me as a child. I learned to do all sorts of things that could be of use under his tutelage, but don’t think for a second that he didn’t make me work hard.”
“He doesn’t seem like the conversational type, really,” Jared concedes.
“I do think he is happy to have me here, though.” Misha says honestly. Over the years, even though the Captain is a rather solitary man who does not act affectionately, the crinkle in his eye is something Misha would not mistake for anything other than pride. They finally reach Jared’s door and he opens it to reveal a small room with a bed and a desk, and a view of the sea they can enjoy through the small window by the table. “And you, possibly.”
“Me?” Jared asks, confused. “Because I’ve read of his adventures?”
“He says you remind him of someone he once met,” Misha says. “He couldn’t quite place the name, but I’m sure he eventually will. It may be little more than a memory of one of the many faces he has seen, Jared, but…”
“But what?” Jared says, stepping into the room and letting Misha in.
“He seemed so certain. I think he knows who your father is, Jared. And where to find him.”
Jared’s face seems to go very pale at that, his eyes wide and hopeful. “Is he sure of that? That he knows who the man would be?”
Misha shakes his head. “I can’t promise you he will be right, Jared. As far as I know, your mother went to look for him in London and was unable to find him in years. I don’t doubt that you remind Nemo of someone, but I can’t promise you it will finally be what you wanted to hear.”
“Of course,” Jared says, but his eyes remain fixed on Misha with such hope that his friend wishes more than anything that the Captain is right in his guess.
Captain Nemo is a very impressive man, Jensen thinks.
Once he shows Jensen the route they will be making with the Nautilus that will take them to San Francisco, Jensen wants to thank his stars for giving him just this push of luck. He’s certain that it will be the only thing that will help them recover the time they have lost, and finally back on schedule, they may make it to London. May.
“I could have never reached the city on time without you, Captain. Thank you.”
The Captain waves him off with a blunt gesture. “It will be nothing. Misha has told me what you want to do, and if that is the truth, a delay provoked by your rival requires that you, too, should have something… How do you Englishmen say it? When you have a trick left.”
“Something up my sleeve?”
“Precisely.” The Captain finishes with a smile. “Misha tells me many things about you. I understand he has saved your friend’s life, among other things.”
“In all honesty, I think it was his friend first, Captain.”
The Captain chuckles at that. “He always knew where to find the best people, that boy. It pleases me that he is at your service. You may rest now, if you wish. You will be safe under my roof.”
“Thank you again, Captain,” Jensen says, and takes out his pocket watch as he walks away. He can barely make out the hour under the dim light, and he’s sure he will not be able to tell the time by the light while they remain underwater. For just a second, it’s like the walls close in and trap him. The ticking of the clock makes his skin crawl.
“Lord Ackles?” The Captain calls in a commanding voice, and Jensen turns at that instant, woken from his daydream.
“Yes, Captain?”
“Don’t stare so much at that watch.”
Jared dreams.
But rather than his mother, he sees himself at the bottom of the ocean, floating among the fish he has seen through Nemo’s glass windows, the water gently cradling his form, keeping him weightless and safe. The water doesn’t feel cold, and even though Jared thinks it’s night, he sees the scenery around him in some sort of glittery blue.
He swims through the ocean thinking that there’s still a long way to go to get where he wants to be, that there is no destination in sight. But he knows in his dream that it finally seems that he’s going somewhere, moving in that direction, if slowly, and for now that lets him sleep peacefully, buried many miles underwater, safely wrapped by the sea.
Jensen almost thinks of not calling on Jared’s door. He can’t hear anything but the hum of the machinery moving fast through the water. The crew - which he has not seen, but he knows is likely to exist - has either retired or is very silent. Both the Captain and Misha are nowhere to be found.
It doesn’t make him feel particularly safe to be trapped in a place where he won’t be able to tell night from day, where he will simply have to wait and leave things in somebody else’s hands. It has been such a long time since Jensen last had that privilege. If he pays close attention he can still hear the pocket watch tucked inside his vest, ticking away like a second heart.
He knocks on the door, very softly, but once there isn’t any noise, he carefully opens the door to look inside. Jared is very still on his bed, covered by all sorts of blankets, lit by the reflection of the ship’s lights outside coming through the small window in his room. He seems to sleep so comfortably that Jensen doesn’t want to wake him, but almost as if following that thought Jared’s eyes open and find Jensen.
Jensen’s first thought is that he should not be here. “I’m sorry, he quickly utters. I’ll go.”
“No, please.” Jared says, voice broken. It’s like he isn’t quite awake just yet, but he’s doing his best to come back to his senses. “You really don’t have to go. What happens?”
Jensen smiles at Jared’s eager words. He seems slightly concerned, and Jensen feels guilty for making him worry. He closes the door and sits on Jared’s bed. Jared’s hands immediately reach out for his. “I’m not particularly comfortable on the ship,” Jensen confesses. “I don’t think I had ever felt so… trapped. There really isn’t anywhere to go next while we’re in here.”
“It frustrates you to wait.”
“It frustrates me to think that I may not make it to London,” Jensen corrects. “But having nowhere to go and having other people decides feels a lot like-,” he searches in his mind for the word, for what the feeling reminds him of, of what it means to be among four walls and not have anywhere to go. “Home. It reminds me of home.”
Jared frowns at that, but he says nothing. He nods, just once, like he understands. Jensen looks at him, at his disheveled hair and glazed eyes, and feels at ease, like there’s a weight that’s been lifted off his chest and he can breathe. He leans down to kiss him and feels lightheaded when Jared responds, quickly shifting his position to embrace Jensen with all his strength. Jensen thinks for just a second that he should go. That it’s not something a gentleman should do, creeping into bedrooms at night, but Jared’s lips are at his throat when he pulls away to breathe, and with a hazy head and half-lidded eyes, he doesn’t care about who will talk or who could see. It’s just the two of them, in the middle of the ocean, and Jensen can’t think of a safer place.
Jared’s hands are slightly rough, but warm, and Jensen has to stifle a moan as they slip beneath his clothes. Jared is watching him closely, pupils blown wide and lips eager and hot against Jensen’s skin. “Do you really want this?” Jensen asks, and Jared seems, for a moment, confused. Like he can’t believe that Jensen would really ask him that. It hits Jensen then how what should confuse him is how people do this and stay with one another when they don’t, not really. It’s some kind of relief to know that Jared is not the same kind of man that Jensen had known before, and kisses the confusion away.
Jensen lets himself fall into it, doesn’t think, doesn’t mind when Jared takes his clothes and they end up on the ground, the pocket watch still somewhere in between the rumpled fabric, ticking away. Jensen hears it, still, thinks of the time that’s passing with his chest pressed close to Jared, their heartbeats pressed together in a rhythm the clock can only poorly imitate.
Jared kisses him, steamy and sweet, with Jensen’s legs around his hips, the two of them pressed together like they were never going to be set apart, hands raking down his back and whispered words that Jensen can barely make out at his ear. Jensen tangles his fingers in his too-long, messy hair, rocks against him with his forehead pressed to Jared’s shoulder and Jared’s lips on his skin, his fingers tracing the outline of Jared’s recent scar.
If the day after someone notices that Jensen did not sleep in his own bed, nobody comments.
For the rest of their journey inside the Nautilus, Jensen studies cartography and learns about places he had never thought he’d see. If he makes it back to London, he thinks, if he’s still a Lord and has the means, he will help as many people as he can. Not just in his city, but everywhere he goes. And the world is vast and wide, and there are so, so many places he can still get to see. Jared reads all kinds of novels that Misha leaves in his path before he disappears again to work around the ship, novels about a visit to the moon or travelling by balloon, and Jensen does his best to read over his shoulder and enjoy them as much as he can, too.
When they finally reach San Francisco a few days later, Jensen is more than eager to go on, but at the same time, he has nothing but fond memories of the Nautilus. He’s starting to enjoy the journey more than the arrival to the next destination, and the thought of leaving behind Somerhalder and the bet passes through his head just once as they descend through the platform to arrive at the docks.
It’s almost strange to hear again the ticking of the clock, and he takes out his pocket watch to check the time almost by reflex once they reach the ground.
“Where to now, Sir?” Misha asks. Jensen knows now for sure that every time the man calls him “Sir”, it’s pretty much with irony.
“Out next destination is New York.”