This has happened to me on a couple of occasions. Both times things went on as if we'd been old friends meeting for the first time in years, and I was fine with that. Pleased with it, even. Grudges are ugly, destructive things that rot a person from the inside out.
Oh, I'm not holding grudges. But I wouldn't let the subject go by without wanting the person to admit they did it. If they apologize, then sure, maybe we can be friends. If they make a joke about it, I'll say, well, maybe I should tell you how it affected me. If they still don't get it? Then I'll take a pass on a relationship. And like I said, it would depend on who it is. Some people did more damage than others.
So, yeah, I'd forgive very easily, but I have to have a reason first.
Maybe some would think I let them off too easy, but I'm utterly at peace with it. Kids can be cruel (God knows what kinds of problems they have at home, not that that excuses anything), and one hopes (and I assume) that they eventually see the light as they mature. I'm sure some would feel the need to apologize, while for others, perhaps, for myriad reasons, it's difficult. Whatever. I'm cool with it. If they go out of their way to flag me down and talk to me (as happened in both circumstances), I take that as apology enough. But I understand your point of view.
I'm at peace with it, but I do recognize how much I am changed because of it (in some ways for the better--I'm probably far more compassionate than I ever would have been otherwise). And I wouldn't force them to do anything. If they didn't mention it, then I probably don't want to know them. I'd be polite, though.
Also, there are other ways to meet people besides it being their idea (during a business transaction,in a waiting room, in the workplace, etc.). I agree, though, I'd probably be more likely to give it a pass if it was their idea to flag me down, because maybe that would be their way of apology.
Comments 4
Reply
So, yeah, I'd forgive very easily, but I have to have a reason first.
Reply
Reply
Also, there are other ways to meet people besides it being their idea (during a business transaction,in a waiting room, in the workplace, etc.). I agree, though, I'd probably be more likely to give it a pass if it was their idea to flag me down, because maybe that would be their way of apology.
Reply
Leave a comment