SEX ED VI; SENIORS - [ OPEN ]

[for_england]

(( Here we go, again! As always, Sex Ed is probably NSFW. Also, behold my amazing ripping off Wikipedia skills and so on! >:3 ))Mr. Hornblower has, perhaps to the general distress of students and staff, effectively boxed away all of Jack's more colorful possessions on the grounds (those hideous paisley mugs, the various amusing posters from his

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[OFFICE HOURS - AFTER CLASS]

[dame_de_pique]

A little while after class is over, there will be a knock on Mr Hornblower's door. Njoki knows just how much he enjoys teaching these classes and has come along with a restorative.

Chocolate chip oatmeal cookies have been known to reduce stress levels in Englishmen trapped outside time and space or those just in Wales.

[for_england]

A little while after class is over, Mr. Hornblower has the kettle on. Because, really, he does need a cup of tea after the class he so very much enjoys teaching. (Perhaps it'll make his slowly-developing nervous twitch abate?)

With a touch of impatience, he answers the door with a very deep frown ... and watch the miracle of his expression doing a complete about-face! "Ms. Rainmaker, hello. It's good to see you up and about. Please, come in." And, being such a perfect gentleman, he steps aside from the door to motion her inside his appropriated office space. "I just put the kettle on. Could I interest you in a cup of tea?"

[dame_de_pique]

For all her brash, no-nonsense attitude, Njoki can be surprisingly polite when it's required.

"I'd love a cup, thank you. I've even brought something to go with it, if you're interested?" Mmm, cookies.

[for_england]

Horatio smiles - look, ma'am, it's the surprisingly sincere sort, as well! - and closes the door behind Njoki. "Thank you very much. I quite appreciate it."

After motioning her oh so very politely to the nearest available seat, Hornblower pours them both a cup of tea (in decidedly not paisley mugs). "Feeling better, I take it?"

[myheadisnotbig]

The big-headed teenager in the front had been listening with attentiveness--hey, at least this sort of lecture wasn't coming from the wrinkled, cracked lips of Ms. Bitters anymore--and raises his hand.

"Yeah, Mister Hornblower? Because of the differences in technology, what kinds of contraception are available in the Nexus? Is there something more effective than normal, uh... twenty-first-century tecniques?"

It's then that he seems to remember something and fidgets.

"And, uh... just to make sure, it isn't this skool's policy to administer chastity shock-belts as a preventive measure to students that seem too interested in this kind of stuff, is it?" Considering half his old classmates were already glacing at each other and then falling to the ground in blinding, screaming, sterilizing pain, it wasn't that odd of a question.

[for_england]

Hornblower stares. Hailing from the early nineteenth century as he does, the idea of contraceptives is already a bit ... out of his league. Asking him to expound on anything 'more effective than twenty-first century techniques' is like asking him to name the New York Times Best Seller list for the year 2325 (without telling him that in certain universes, it's already the New New York Times).

"Of course, given the differences in technology between one universe and the next," he answers, doing well enough to grasp and explain the Multiple Universe Theory, "it's very probable that many of the universes accessible via the Nexus have more effective than normal contraceptive techniques when compared to the accepted twenty-first century 'standard.' Captain Harkness, before his absence, was conducting research on this subject and has compiled a list of available contraceptives, and their corresponding universe, for the use of the class."

He pauses, looks somewhat alarmed at the idea of ... what!? "Ah, n-no. As far as I'm aware, this school

[myheadisnotbig]

"I guess the list in his this stuff somewhere." He mutters, looking through the pile of papers and textbook on his desk, then plucking a folded piece of paper from it, unfolding it... and letting the list drape all the way to the ground in a droopy concertina of protective information.

"...Think I found it."

Horatio's other reply causes him to relax visibly too. "Really? That's... wow, that's good! Those things hurt... n-not that I've ever had one on! I just... had to pretend to really not care when I was in that class, and stuff."

[for_england]

Horatio arches an eyebrow spectacularly at the long, unfurled piece of paper. "Yes, that would be it."

He nods. "Really." Pause. "I take it your previous educational institution took assertive action in the area of curbing student promiscuity?"

[hot_engineer]

"What kind of myths do you mean? Like, old wives' tales and the like? Can ya give an example?"

[for_england]

Unfortunately for Hornblower, he can give an example. He looks, appalled, down at his lecture notes and semi-reads: "One long standing contraceptive myth holds that the 'pull of gravity' in positions wherein a woman is 'on top' will effectively prevent conception."

... God, shoot him now.

[hot_engineer]

"They actually believe that?" She raises an eyebrow. "Kind of reminds me of the preventive herbs I kept hearing about at home. Of course, anyone with a brain knows they don't really work... but for some reason people keep using 'em." She adds, crossing her arms.

[for_england]

"Yes," he confirms simply, looking thoroughly displeased with the lecture topic all of the sudden. "I'm unfamiliar with the notion of preventative methods using herbs, but I suspect individuals may be turned from reason by the sway of old wives' tales due purely to the history involved. Silly notions stick around for generations and even when common sense tells one that such a method is unlikely to work, the idea that it's lasted through the years tends to tug at a person's, ah, suspension of disbelief?"

[knight_fatali]

Seifer looks over the information and grins. "Like that old saying that if a girl jumps up and down after sex, then she can't get pregnant?"

[for_england]

Horatio frowns spectacularly. "I've not actually heard that one, but I suppose that does qualify as a contraceptive myth, yes."

[knight_fatali]

"Or, the best one, which I actually used on a girlfriend, that if you have sex standing up, she can't get pregnant." No, he doesn't seem a bit ashamed of it.

[for_england]

... that's all right, Hornblower will be shocked and appalled for the both of them. "Mr. Almasy, I am severely unimpressed by the implications of that statement. While it's perfectly understandable to borrow from personal experience in class discussion, I will ask you to refrain from engaging in the accompanying narrative to your thought process, thank you."

[_meadow_lark]

"But how about a situation where a guy is in the bathtub and he...er, climaxes in the water and then you - well, I don't mean you but a girl, if a girl comes in and uses the same water to take a bath, or even empties the tub and refills it without, you know, using bleach or something...can she get pregnant?"

[for_england]

Horatio, for a span of several seconds, just stares at Miss Grey. Does this infernal girl always, he wonders, insist on asking the most ridiculous and convoluted questions?

"No, Miss Grey," Hornblower answers after a moment. "While sperm cells do, according to our text, survive for an indeterminate amount of time outside the male or female body - and somewhat longer in water - it is virtually impossible and highly unlikely for a woman to become pregnant from sharing bath water, or even a bath tub, in such a situation as you suggest. It isn't advisable, of course, to continually bathe in the water you've hypothesized, however."