More Craigslist fun!
Attn: I'm a Psycho, Jackass, loser, idiot, liar and unemployed ---> - 27
Reply to: pers-177595291@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-01, 10:59PM EDT
Whoa, you're actually reading this?! I would be running in the other direction if I were you...
Hmm... well as long as I still have your attention- it should be noted that I'm only one of the above... (if you circled jackass you're correct...ok,ok *sometimes* I'm an idiot)
Let's continue--
Well here i am again- I posted a few months back, met some cool people - and since not much has changed (and I'm single again) I don't really feel the need to alter my original post...
My ad from a few months back:
<<
Recently out of a serious relationship- so nothing too serious. I WOULD JUST LIKE TO HAVE SOME FUN, LIGHT HEARTED NIGHTS OUT… where it goes nobody knows (so lets not assume)?! --platonic or gin & tonic--?
Me: Kind but not “nice” - confident but not cocky (my heart is bigger than my ego)
Sarcasm flows freely through these lips.
Well educated: 6yrs of college: Communication (Film)/ and a Design degree (in other words I’m intelligent so please have something intelligent to say)
I tend to appriciate life more at 120mph: (and on two wheels) -some of my best times have involved thoroughly illegal velocities-- Yes, motorcycles move me to tears...(no Big Ben drama please)
I work out (almost obsessively since the break up… doesn’t everybody?!!) I box,
I enjoy sushi, being frugal, making fine art and film…long walks on beaches blah blah blah…but I’ll continue anyway: I like deep conversations but occasionally enjoy the shallow diatribe on why Coke is better than Pepsi - sometimes I’m cool and dressed to kill, other times… I dress (and act) like a dork- People tell me I show great depth of character and openness… other times, I’m a closed book. I can prepare swordfish so well it will give you a *joygasm* but I can also prepare & enjoy a microwave entrée. I’m comfortable going out or staying in…. AND Finally: sometimes I say too much… like this paragraph.
YES, Looks matter (and they matter to you too!)- so here is the deal- I’m 5’10” 160 fit, but definitely not a muscle head- ( I have light eyes, hair and tone) My usual compliments are: 1.nice lips 2. eyes- Generally, I’m attracted to thin, fit woman. (sometimes I like preppy girls other times I like plain jane or tatooed and pierced AGE DOES NOT MATTER older or younger.) "typical"maybe but it’s better that you know.(This may be the kiss of death, I realize.) Blame my last girl. Do I still have your attention? Yes, pics are available but only if you're brave enough to send yours...
One last note:
Psychos, guys, hookers, people with bad breath, aliens, big foot, and strange cult leaders need not apply.
-thanks for reading.
[And a picture... of the Dalai Lama.]
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The sexy coconut orangutan rocks out sans hair mousse - 40
Reply to: pers-178082188@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-03, 4:30PM EDT
I recently dreamed that the 1985-86 cast of Saturday Night Live--Danitra Vance, Terry Sweeney, Jon (Subway shill) Lovitz, et cetera--were reenacting the theater-audience climax to 'til Tuesday's video "Voices Carry"--"He said 'Shut up!' / He said 'Shut up!'"
Now that you've recovered from the excitement (insert 584 smiling emoticons here), a little bit about yours truly:
I have never watched American Idol. I don't know what a BlackBerry does. I have no interest in pretending George W. Bush has grown as a leader.
I would rather cogitate than watch the latest heartwarming, digital explosion-filled Hollywood blockbuster. I'd rather watch that old drive-in concession stand film--the one with the marching ice cream pops, the somersaulting wiener, etc.--than watch a feel-good movie about pop culture-quoting housepets.
I'm 40 years old, 6'1", slender, Caucasian, brunette, single (as in never-married), childless, a nonsmoker, and an atomic age bon vivant.
Now a little bit about you:
You're between 27 to 40 years old, though I wouldn't mind a few years younger or older if you have the extra-specialness I crave in women.
You're intelligent and articulate; you know the difference between "lie" and "lay," and you know that "ignorant" means "unknowing" and not "rude."
You have your own style. You have no interest in imitating the media skank du jour.
You're independent, open-minded, affable, humorous, and very sexy. Okay, I like sexiness. I'm not entirely weird. (Insert 588 winking emoticons here.)
You don't mind my intensity. You find boldness and intelligent perversion attractive. And you find thin, bespectacled gentlemen sexy.
I'm open to any type of relationship, from no-strings schtupping to long-term romance. (The word "schtupping" should appear on the Internet more often. I don't know why, though.)
[Pictures here, including one of the 'sexy coconut orangutan']
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Of course you miss me - Wallet4W
Reply to: pers-177782905@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-02, 5:41PM EDT
You wonder why I left you! The kayak incident was merely frosting on the cake! For years, you've crammed me full of unnecessary crap - I've been forced to eat fast food receipts from three different states. I've been stuffed into a purse to live among piles of used tissues; my skin is constantly gouged by keys and combs and brushes. I've been accidentally sprayed with hair spray, abandoned in restaurants, rest rooms, and rest stops. The only time you ever take me out is when you want money! I'm not telling you where I am - I'm your freaking wallet! The least you can do is remember when we were last together! I am holding your license and your credit cards hostage until you decide to change and start to treat me like you should! When we next make a connection, maybe things will be different!