[Blog/Phone Call] Death to Smootchie

[pride_of_kiwi]

What the bleeding fuck is this? Corblimey, I'm spouting nonsense -more than usual- all over. I can't shut up - probably because I have a lot of shit I don't tell you, mates- and it's really drivin' me mad as a meat axe. I thought that letter was a gag but then mum walked into the room and I told her the makeup she'd applied that morning looked like

Comments

[phonecall]

[la_grand_vie]

Ahhhh... John? Strange envelopes...? And-Merci? I am rather fond of yours as well-?

[phonecall]

[pride_of_kiwi]

Yeah, letter. I opened one and now I can't stop going on about all these secrets you probably shouldn't hear but I'll likely end up telling you anyway.

Re: [phonecall]

[la_grand_vie]

Oh really? Secrets? You should tell me some of them- like zee one about me 'aving a nice rear end. [chuckle]

Re: [phonecall]

[pride_of_kiwi]

Sure, right up there with Aussie-git, Rajiv and this sheila I had a root with back in London. Reminds me of that flick we made. Found a copy of it recently and I figure we coulda' done one better on the lighting but the content's choice. [nervous laughter]

Didn't say anything while we were havin' that yack about our creed because under the bravado I have moments of weakness where my insecurities inspire a certain amount of embarrassment.

[Screened to John] Oh, shit. Srs post is srs.

[salylimon]

And knowing that you're so screwed up about commitment is more than reason enough for you to not get involved with him.

But I already know that telling you to stay away isn't going to do me, him, or you any good. So, John, if you do get involved with him romantically, please know this:

Do anything that hurts or even bothers him, whether he admits it or not, and I'll never forgive you.

[Screened to Emi] O-one day, we will paint each other's nails again...

[pride_of_kiwi]

I'm a hoon, Emimi... But I swear I have every intent to figure this out without harmin' anyone more than I already have. I'm a bit thick, though, so I might balls up a coupla times but I'll be bustin' a gut, love. I will.

[Screened to John] For now, please watch out for flying cast iron skillets. :>

[salylimon]

I'll try to believe you as best as I can. But I'm not making any promises.

Aish, and I knew your mother didn't sent me that. Idiota.

[Screened to Emi] Mun was hit in the head with a cast iron skillet once- SHE FEELS HIS PAIN.

[pride_of_kiwi]

Well I wouldn't blame ya since I'm known for runnin' wild.

...AW, Emi did anyone ever tell ya you're as cute as you are terrifying when you're angry?

[Screened to Jared]

[pride_of_kiwi]

I don't know- I feel the overwhelming urge to muss your hair too and misplace your things when you aren't looking. Which I think might be my way of showing affection when I'm not sure how.

[Screened to Jared] YOU SHOULD BE MORE HONEST. HERE, HAVE MY CURSE.

[pride_of_kiwi]

I'll try not to because it can be really hard not to laugh.

Didja know your eyebrow's got this odd little tilt to it when y'glower at someone? I feel like you'd be glowerin' at me right now.

[Screened to John]

[not_whales]

Alfred was my actor first. I think.

Having a bad day?

[Screened to Dewi]

[pride_of_kiwi]

Actually I hired 'im first and still feel immense petty resentment toward the fact that he ended up in Les Mis and caused us to miss the Winter film festival deadline.

But that's alright because I love ya and those blokes on Broadway don't know what they're missin'.

...'Bad day'? Oh it's bloody terrible, bru! Just awful! I can't stop chattering on about things like how I'm the one who threw the rock that broke Arther's window. Accidentally.

One of his sisters still loves him. <3

[remylee]

It's... sweet of you to threaten people for me. I appreciate it, but... well... I kind of prefer him un-maimed.

Are you okay?

F-for now at least.

[pride_of_kiwi]

Well he's a little girly so I don't know if I'd feel quite right hittin' him anyway. But then again, I don't really have a problem with punchin' a woman if she punches back.

Ahhh, not really Remy. But I would like to say that I am because makin' y'worry gets me down.

Forever and always. Even if she hasn't given him his Christmas present yet.

[remylee]

....Girly? It's the hair, isn't it?

Right. Well, uh... if there's anything I can do to help, you know where to find me, right? Or if you need to get away from people, you're always welcome. I know where Kim keeps her scary movies...