[fic] The Things We Can't Control - Chapter 71 ~Firsts~
Title: The Things We Can't Control
Author:
prettyorianna
Pairing: Akame. Others to be added later.
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: crime drama au
Beta by: my cat Gemma. and maeda_marika
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary: Two criminals with vastly different styles meet by chance one day. They immediately clash but is that all they'll ever be? How much is fate and how much choice? And how will their meeting change the world around them?
Author's Note: The update I know you all have been most patiently waiting for. Sorry for the lack of closets, Marika-chan!
BANNER BY DESHISORABA!! THE MOST AWESOME BANNER EVER AND I WILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES!
Warning: This gets graphic often occasionally, containing at the very least foul language, character death, nefarious crimes, rape, etc etc.
The Master Posts:
On my journal - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_ Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the je_kamenashi Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the kattun_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the jin_fics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
Chapter 71 ~Firsts~
For a moment Jin forgot how to breathe. He forgot everything. The whole world just stopped because of Kame’s words. When Jin’s brain finally caught up to the rest of him, all he could think was how much he wanted to do just what Kame was asking.
But…
“Oh, god… you have no idea how much I want that, but are you sure you’re ready?” he asked, once he finally found his voice.
Blushing, Kame responded with, “No. But I don’t care. This is what I want. I… I want you. I want to give myself entirely to you. Just you.” With a small nervous chuckle, he added, “I’ve never been with someone before because it’s what I wanted… and this is something I can share with you and it’ll be ours. So, no, I’m not sure I’m ready. But I think it will be okay anyway.”
Jin could feel Kame’s hand on his stomach, moving upwards to affectionately cup his cheek for a moment before continuing onward to bury his fingers in Jin’s hair and pull him into a deep kiss. He could taste so much in that kiss… there was a small bit of fear… but also, love… desire… trust… hope, even…
Kame really was putting himself entirely in his hands, wasn’t he?
The kiss ended and Kame whispered against his lips, “Let’s lock the door this time, ne?”
Oh, right. Jin had completely forgotten about the door. Good thing Kame had enough sense to think of it.
He didn’t want to part from Kame but, well, someone had to take care of the door, so he extracted himself from Kame’s arms which earned him a whimper of protest from his lover. The lock may have been Kame’s idea but Kame didn’t seem to want to let him go long enough for him to do it.
Jin didn’t hear Kame slide off the desk but he felt him suddenly at his back, felt Kame’s arms slide around his waist.
Chuckling, Jin said, “A bit impatient, aren’t you?”
“You were taking too long,” Kame pouted. It was absolutely adorable. “Is it locked now?”
“Yeah.”
“Then why aren’t you kissing me?”
Turning in Kame’s arms, Jin responded softly with, “Because I know I’ll never stop…” And he pressed light kisses on Kame’s throat while his fingers nimbly undid button after button from Kame’s shirt. Each gentle brush of lips pulled another whimper from Kame and the sound was just intoxicating.
He never would have imagined someone would react so strongly to his kisses and touches as Kame did. He’d had people desire him before, and he had desired people, but it wasn’t like this. Looking back, everything seemed like some pale imitation of the real thing and what he was feeling in that moment, what Kame was feeling in that moment, that was how it was really supposed to be. Jin had the sneaking suspicion it would only get better.
If that was even possible.
Jin wasn’t so sure it was.
+++
Once his shirt had fluttered down to the floor by the door, Kame grabbed two fistfuls of Jin’s shirt and pulled Jin with him as he backed towards the sleeping mat. And when they got there, he pulled the shirt up and off, dropping it on the floor without a second thought. He dropped down onto the mat and Jin came with him, until they were laying in each other’s arms.
Quickly kicking off his shoes, Kame could feel Jin do the same.
Despite the almost overwhelming need he was feeling, Kame wanted this to last. He wanted his first time with Jin to be special. Different than all those other times where he didn’t want it but had no choice.
As he traced circles on Jin’s chest with one hand, Kame couldn’t help but whisper, more to himself than anything, “I didn’t know touching someone could be like this…”
“Me, either,” Jin admitted. “But I’m not complaining.”
That surprised Kame. “So it’s not just the difference between wanting to do it and not wanting but having no choice? It’s… it’s more?” The circles Kame was tracing on Jin’s chest moved downward toward his stomach, pulling a very arousing moan from Jin’s lips.
Such a lovely sound.
Breathing hard and heavy, Jin replied, “It has to be more, Kazu-love. I don’t understand how. I just know that it is.” He sighed. “I hate that you have to take my word for that, that you don’t have your own experiences to compare it to. Everything was wrong for you and I know I can’t change the past… but…” and Jin’s hand was traveling down Kame’s stomach now, down to slip beneath his belt, “I can give you better memories starting now, I hope…”
With something that seem like an odd mix between a whimper and a moan, Kame’s back arched as Jin’s fingers brushed against his hard shaft. “God, Jin… that… feels…” but he was so overwhelmed he couldn’t even get the words out properly. Everything fled except the feel of Jin’s soft teasing touches.
“Hmm… I don’t think you need these anymore…” Jin’s hand slipped back out from inside his pants and went to work on the button and zipper before slipping Kame’s pants and underwear off entirely.
Only Jin didn’t immediately stretch back out on the mat. Instead, he tossed the pants to the side and he let his eyes travel the full length of Kame’s body, more than once. With a loan moan, Jin said, “You’re so beautiful, Kazuya.”
Blushing, Kame giggled. It didn’t seem fair he was now completely naked and Jin wasn’t. He wanted a look, too! “What cruel fate must I blame for why your pants are still on even though mine are off?”
“Are you always this impatient?” Jin teased, casually running a finger up Kame’s thigh. Kame moaned again until Jin hit a ticklish spot which caused his entire body to jerk suddenly.
Laughing, Kame said, “Watch what you’re doing! That tickled!”
There was a maniacal gleam in Jin’s eyes as he said, “Oh, really?” but before Kame could do anything about it, Jin’s fingers found the spot again.
“HEY!” Kame shrieked as he pulled away so Jin couldn’t reach that spot anymore. Still laughing, Kame said, “You’re so mean! And still wearing pants!”
“Alright,” Jin grumbled in mock irritation. “Fine, the pants can come off.”
But he made no move to remove them.
“Well?” Kame asked, matching Jin’s tone perfectly.
“Well, what?”
“The pants?”
“Oh, I’m not taking them off. I took yours off; it’d be unfair to make me remove my own as well. No, you want me naked, you do something about it!”
“Jiiiiin…” Kame whined, but he pushed himself up and practically threw himself at Jin, knocking him over and straddling him. Moving down his body as he slid the jeans off, he had Jin just as naked as he was in next to no time. “There. Now we’re even…” He giggled again.
The sight of Jin’s body under him like that only strengthened Kame’s desire for him. He loved Jin’s unruly hair and beautiful face, that broad chest. Jin’s proudly standing erection that told Kame just how much Jin wanted him, too. Every bit of him, so lovely… He finally understood what Jin had meant before, about his scars not making him ugly. Because, though Jin was scarred too and they were much messier than Kame’s own neat scars, what Kame saw was just perfection.
Crawling back on the mat fully and into Jin’s arms, Kame let his hands wander Jin’s body, relishing in the feel of it. The moans coming from Jin with each brush of skin on skin, though, quickly shredded the last of Kame’s self-control. He lost the room; Jin was his whole world in that moment. Jin… and the storm that threatened to completely overwhelm him.
+++
Jin rolled the two of them over, topping Kame just like he had earlier before they were so rudely interrupted. The door was locked; he could now do what he wanted to before and nobody would stop them this time.
So that’s what he did. Starting again at Kame’s throat, he pressed kiss after kiss along the skin, some light, some harder. He was careful to not leave marks but otherwise gave himself over to the taste and smell of Kame, traveling down his chest in an unhurried pace.
Kame was thrashing beneath him, whimpering and moaning. God, it was just so… well, hot.
Though Jin had only done it once before ever and, well, that didn’t go quite so well… Kame’s reaction to every touch, no matter how light, fed his courage and, besides, if Kame could face his fear of his past to be with him, he could risk a little embarrassment if it didn’t go well.
So he continued his downward path until he reached Kame’s erect member. Taking him into his mouth, Jin thought a brief prayer that this went better than his previous experience had. And it was true that he gagged when Kame unconsciously bucked into it unexpectedly, but Jin just grabbed his hips to keep him from doing it again and it went a bit more smoothly after that.
“Jin…” Kame moaned as Jin relaxed his throat to take more of him into his mouth. He seemed to be enjoying it, thank goodness. Maybe that meant he wasn’t doing such a bad job after all. Jin took encouragement from Kame’s reaction and besides, he loved the taste and feel of Kame in his mouth, the sounds he was coaxing from his lover.
And as his confidence in what he was doing increased, Jin couldn’t help himself. He became more playful, more teasing than anything else. And it was doing the trick, because Kame started to beg him though he didn’t seem quite able to articulate what exactly he wanted. But Jin didn’t let that stop him. He circled his tongue around the head of Kame’s shaft one last time, chuckling.
“P-please, Jin!”
“Please what, Kazu-love?”
“I don’t know! Just…” and Kame moaned again when Jin repeated the action, first running his tongue along the length of him before teasing the head again. “Just please!”
Jin chuckled again as he crawled back up Kame’s body, capturing his mouth in a slow, tender kiss once more. “Ne, Kazu-love… I’ve never been with a guy before. I… I’m nervous…” he admitted. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He vaguely remembered being told that was a concern but he hadn’t found out more since the blow job hadn’t gone that well and the guy he was experimenting with changed his mind about the rest after that.
Though it took a lot for him to admit there was something he didn’t know, that he wasn’t an expert at everything he ever did. But, well, it was Kame and if he couldn’t at least admit that, he had no right being with him in the first place.
“Ah…” Kame smiled softly at him, though he was still breathing hot and heavy. He seemed to understand Jin’s concern. “Here, give me your hand…” And Kame took his hand with both of his own, eyes flashing seductively. He brought it to his mouth, his tongue flicking out to lick two fingers. He slid them in his mouth, tongue still at work and there was something in the sight of Kame sucking his fingers that threatened to undo him. But he held onto the last bits of his self control.
When he finally stopped, Kame said, “It’s… sadly strange, knowing how few people cared about that…” and there was something in his expression that Jin didn’t like, though it was gone after a brief moment.
“Kazuya? If you… I mean, we don’t have to do this. I won’t be mad if you, you know, changed your mind. If you think you’re just not ready yet.” Though he didn’t look forward to another night of being so worked up with no hope of relief.
But Kame just guided his hand down his body. “I. Want. You.” He leaned up to kiss Jin and it tasted so sweet. “Start with one finger, slowly. Once I’ve loosened a bit, you can add the second one. If you take the time to do that and you’re careful at first, it won’t really hur… aaah….” Kame’s eyes rolled back and his back arched as Jin slipped a finger into him.
Hm… he could get used to that response. “What was that last bit, love?”
Kame was whimpering again, eyes still closed, when Jin added the second finger and after a bit, Kame managed to pant, “That’s… probably… oh, god… enough…” along with another moan. He opened his eyes as Jin slid the fingers out.
Jin covered Kame’s body with his own, settling carefully between his legs.
“Wait!” Kame exclaimed suddenly.
Had he done something wrong? “What is it?”
But Kame seemed to have figured out what he was thinking. “Oh, it’s not… you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just… I want…” He shook his head. “It’s stupid, I know… just, I want to see your eyes. I want… I want you to see mine. I don’t want to hide from you, you know?” And Kame was blushing as he rambled. “You know what? Forget… it’s just stupid. I… I… just wanted this to be different… I… nevermind… it’s stupid…” He looked away, obviously embarrassed.
Kissing Kame on the forehead, Jin took him by the chin and turned him back toward him. He murmured, “It’s not stupid. Not at all.”
His eyes never left Kame’s after that moment, save for here and there where one of them (or both of them) couldn’t keep them from rolling back in the pleasure. Jin pushed very carefully into him, taking great care not to hurt Kame. And once Jin was fully buried in his tightness, he had to stop for a minute. He didn’t want this to be over yet and, well, he’d gotten so worked up recently with no real relief so he was a bit…
Yeah.
But after a few breaths, he started to move. Slowly at first, giving Kame the chance to loosen a bit more but after a while, they were both so lost in each other it got faster and harder and Kame was practically screaming but in a such a good way and oh, Jin could feel him so tight around him. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer so he started pumping Kame’s shaft with the same fevered intensity of his thrusts and when Kame came with an even louder cry and that same little whimper as the last time he came, a whimper that was apparently something specific to Kame’s orgasm, it was enough to send him over the edge, too.
Pulling his spent member out of Kame, Jin rolled off of him to lay beside him. “That was amazing,” was all he could get out for a moment. He wished he was a more clever speaker, that he could say something deep and meaningful to the moment but he’d just had the best sex of his life and his brain just couldn’t handle big words right then.
Kame, it seemed, couldn’t handle any words. He was still trying to catch his breath as he turned on his side, throwing one arm and one leg over Jin and resting his head on Jin’s chest. He started running his fingers along Jin’s chest but it had a completely different feel to it than earlier. It was more comforting than arousing.
“Sleepy…” Kame finally managed to breathe. “Jin, I…” but he trailed off, eventually ending with, “Nevermind…”
“What is it, Kazu-love?”
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Kame yawned.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” He was too rough, there at the end, wasn’t he? Oh, Kame was going to hate him! He should have had more control but instead he let himself get lost in the moment and…
“Oh, no no, it’s nothing like that. I promise!”
“Then what?”
A pause but Kame finally said, “It was wonderful. But it was also new and scary. I thought… well, I’m no stranger to sex, after all. I’ve done… so many things, horrible, degrading things… so these things I’m feeling confuse me. It felt almost… I dunno, like a first time. Like it was the first time I’d ever done it. But it wasn’t. So I don’t understand…”
“But… you did enjoy it, right?” Jin asked cautiously. “You… are okay?”
“Oh, yes. I really enjoyed it. And I’m fine. Just a little confused, is all. It’s a bit embarrassing, really.”
“You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Kazuya. Just stay here, in my arms. Let me hold you and you just relax, okay? I’m not ready to let go yet,” Jin admitted with a small chuckle. “I’ve noticed the strangest thing…”
“What’s that?” Kame asked, glancing up at his face.
“The time you spend in my arms is the happiest time I can remember in my life.”
“Oh, Jin…”
“I really do think I love you, Kazuya.”
“I love you, too…”
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Chapter 72 ~The Meeting With the Murderer~
A/N: Okay, there's a couple places I'm not 100% satisfied with. This chapter was stubborn and just didn't want to flow. I wrote some stuff, started over when that wasn't right...
But I had to accept this wasn't going to get any better now. I could have put it away for a couple of days and then gone at it with fresh eyes but that isn't guarenteed to help and I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer.
So I hope it is okay?