[fic] The Things We Can't Control - Chapter 43 ~A Heart-to-Heart~
Title: The Things We Can't Control
Author:
prettyorianna
Pairing: Akame. Others to be added later.
Rating: NC-17.
Genre: crime drama au
Beta by: my cat Gemma. okay, seriously, nobody
Disclaimer: I don't own KAT-TUN, any of its members, any other JE people. I write this for fun and for other fans of these fine folks. But don't steal my
plots, mmkay? I put a great deal of time into them except for when I'm randomly spastically spitting words onto a page. But I value those too...
Summary: Two criminals with vastly different styles meet by chance one day. Can they work together or will they end up destroying each other?
Author's Note: Well, I wasn't all too happy with this when I started writing it because it just wouldn't flow, so the first bit might be a bit... eh. But the end of it, though (like the last chapter) not the exact thing I'd planned, is as perfect as I can claim without sounding arrogant. I'm not sure what level of self-congratulating counts as arrogant, but this is just barely less perfect than that LOL
BANNER BY DESHISORABA!!
Warning: This gets graphic often occasionally, containing at the very least foul language, character death, nefarious crimes, rape, etc etc.
The Master Posts:
On my journal - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_ Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the akame_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the je_kamenashi Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the kattun_fanfics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
On the jin_fics Community - The Things We Can't Control Master Post
Chapter 43 ~A Heart-to-Heart~
After putting the clean bowls away, Jin decided to head to the sanctuary. He’d overheard a couple of Kizuna members (he remembered them vaguely from the meetings but not by name) talking about pulling up pews in the sanctuary to make more room and decided to make himself useful. More room meant Tatsuya could stay here, someplace much safer than anything Jin could give him.
Besides, if he was going to stay, he’d better help out anyway.
When he got there, he found Koki directing the whole thing. The hellions or whatever they called the little street kids were running all over creation, playing tag or something like it, generally staying underfoot and making trouble. But it seemed like Koki finally had enough and, scooping one of the little girls up in his arms, he bellowed, “Oi, that’s enough! Out! Out!”
Jin was barely able to keep his balance as eight or nine kids darted past him and out of the sanctuary. Koki dropped the girl off in the doorway and with a slight push, “Off with you, Princess. We’ll play later, okay? Koki-niisan is busy now.”
The little girl crossed her arms and stamped her foot imperiously. “I don’t wanna play with you anyway.” She turned on the spot and stormed off.
Jin about fell out laughing. Something in Koki’s face, in his surprise at the little girl’s response…. it was just hilarious! Absolutely priceless.
“Are you going to just stand there laughing or are you here to help?”
“Right… Um, I’m here to help.”
“Well, okay then!” Koki held a wrench out in Jin’s general direction. “We’re taking out the back four rows for now. They’re kind of bolted down strangely. We’re having trouble getting the wrenches in there but we don’t have any shorter ones.”
Koki was right. It turned out to be a complete pain in the ass and was taking hours longer than it should have. Things only slowed down when most of the people helping stopped to either go help with dinner or to work the streets.
They found all sorts of things in the pockets along the back of the pews that had been left behind when the church was abandoned. Some of it was stuff you’d expect, like old yellowing bibles. Some of it was downright strange, like the doll that looked like someone sawed it in half. Koki admitted they hadn’t ever really cleaned out the pockets before because there hadn’t really been a need and they were always busy.
Something caught Jin’s attention deep in one of the pockets. Reaching down into it, he pulled out a card. It was bigger than a playing card and didn’t look like anything he’d ever seen before. On the one side was a bunch of… well, he wasn’t sure what they were? Really ugly people? Goblins? But on the other side of it was a blue floating ball with something like but not exactly wings. Written in fancy cursive at the bottom were the words, “The Rarr” and the card had the number 52 in the upper corner. “Hey, look what I found!” he said, waving the card in Koki’s general direction.
But Koki wasn’t really paying attention because he was holding a card of his own. “You ever seen anything like this?”
Koki’s card had the same back as Jin’s, the goblins or whatever they were, but on the front of his card there was a man. No, not a man. More like… damn, Jin wasn’t sure what he was, either! He had spikes sticking out of his back and strange ears and… were those horns? Card 29. Ta’Om the Poet. It was scorched a bit around the edge like someone had it too close to a candle or something.
But… “He looks like you, don’t you think? A bit? The face, I mean.”
“He does, kinda. Huh. I think I like it!”
“Think they go together?” Jin asked, handing Koki back his.
Koki shrugged. “They have the same back. Maybe there’s more of them?”
But there weren’t. After looking for ten minutes Koki finally decided they’d had enough of a break and needed to get the last three of the back pews unbolted and carted out. Jin tucked his card in his back pocket and picked the wrench back up.
It took another twenty minutes but then the last pew was completely free from the floor. “There’s no way I’m carrying that thing out tonight. That’s it. I’m exhausted!”
From a frustrated but equally tired-looking Koki, “Oh, come on! I can’t do it by myself! Well, at least help me push it against the wall?”
Jin rolled his eyes. “Fine, whatever.”
Once they had it against the wall, Koki sat down on it. Jin was about to leave for the kitchen to see if food was ready but as he turned to go, Koki said, “Hey, you’re not going anywhere. Sit!”
“Huh? But I-”
“Tell me about Kame.”
“You’ve known him longer than I have.” He shrugged.
“You know what I’m talking about.”
He… He couldn’t possibly know, could he? Jin had promised Kame not to say anything about the stuff he confided in him. Not one word about the scars or how he got them or any of the other stuff he’d confided after that ill-chosen (but still really, really memorable) kiss. The impression he’d gotten from Kame was that he’d never told those things to any of the others. How had Koki found out he knew something?
“No. No, I don’t know what you…”
“You don’t? So you don’t like him, then? You go around randomly kissing guys?”
“Whu-what?” Jin imagined this was what a deer felt that final moment when it found itself caught by oncoming headlights.
“God, you really are an idiot. You know that, right? Sit.”
Still sort of in shock, Jin sat. “Uh-huh?”
“Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’m not going to eat you!” Koki laughed, but almost immediate became more serious. “You’re not playing him, are you? This isn’t some game. You know that, right?”
“Kame told you about that?” Jin was finally able to get out. “He said he wasn’t going to tell anyone…”
“So it is true, then.”
“Wait, you didn’t know?” Oops. Big oops. “Oh, god, he’s gonna kill me! He’ll murder me in my sleep, I know it! But you said…”
“Relax, Jin. He’s not going to kill you. I won’t let him. Actually…” and now Koki’s eyes were sparkling mischieviously, “I think he likes you. He’s just too stubborn to admit it. So we’ll help him along.”
But was that really what he wanted? It’s true that the kiss came to mind almost every quiet moment he’d had recently and despite everything wrong with it, it was the best damn kiss he’d ever had. And he remembered the feel of Kame in his arms as he held him outside the kitchen. He remembered the way his heart hurt for Kame’s suffering, at the out-of-town hotel that night.
Is that what all of it meant? Was he falling for him? Could he even be? He’d know him, what, a week? Not even a week? You don’t fall in love like that. Love doesn’t work like that. It takes… It takes…
Huh.
Jin realized he had no clue. He had absolutely no clue how love was supposed to work. He thought he’d loved his first girlfriend but later he realized it wasn’t love after all. It was just mutual destruction. (Or, well, considering how it turned out, maybe a little less mutual. He still carried the scar from her drug dealer attacking him, after all).
Well, even if he didn’t understand about love, there was one thing he did know. “I just… want to be someone he can depend on. He needs someone.”
Koki nodded at this. “You’re good for him. We see it. We all see it. He’s held so much of himself back. We know he cares and he gives his best to us, for us. But there’s something there at the heart of him that he’s wrapped up so tightly we can’t get through to it. We all owe him so much. He saved us. He saved all of us! Not just… not just our lives. He’s… Well, I don’t have to tell you this. You know what it’s like on the street. You… if you last long enough to survive what the world does to you, you self-destruct in the end anyway. It becomes too much. You get so tired… not really living, no will at all making a mark in the world around you. Not even a ripple when you’re gone.
“You know, even in Kizuna, we still have to survive. Some of us, we’re able to adapt to something else but most of us, we’re still stuck doing the same things we did before. Still a bunch of thieves and whores. But it’s not the same thing. It’s not the same at all. We have pride. We have… we have self! Kame gave this to us. He gives it to all of us and he doesn’t ask for a thing in return. He’d keep saving us till his last breath even if he had to do it alone.
“But we don’t want him to be alone.”
Jin never thought he’d hear so much from Koki. Not that the man was the quiet type but…
“So we watch and we wait for someone he’ll let in. Someone he’ll share that part that we can’t touch. Look, I don’t know what happened with the kiss and all that; just that it happened. But he hasn’t sent you away. He hasn’t even kicked you out of his office. Something is different about you for him. He just doesn’t understand it. Help him understand!”
It looked like Koki was almost going to cry.
God, he hoped not. He got awkward around crying for the most part. Still, everything Koki was saying to him… it was giving him a lot to think about. “What did you have in mind? I don’t like the idea of tricking him. And I’m not going to kiss him again.” Even if he might want to. The way Kame responded to the first kiss though, he wasn’t going to put Kame through all of that again.
Koki actually looked kind of disappointed with what Jin said. “Why not?”
“It’s personal.” He wasn’t going to betray Kame’s secrets like that.
Now Koki just looked frustrated. “Well then, why in the hell did you kiss him in the first place? Damn it, Jin! I told you, this isn’t a game!”
“And that’s why I won’t.”
That shut Koki up.
Just in time, too, because Kame’s voice came from the doorway, “Oh, yeah, that’s much better. We could fit eight sleeping bags in here - ten, if they don’t mind the crowding.” But then Kame’s eyes narrowed, “What are you two up to?”
“We just got this last pew up. We’re just catching our breath,” was Koki’s quick reply.
“Right…” Jin wasn’t sure Kame believed a word of it, but he didn’t push the issue. Instead, he said, “Dinner’s done. Get something to eat and, if it’s okay, I’d like to talk to you after you’ve eaten, Jin. Will you come to the office?”
“What about Tatsuya?”
“He’s in the kitchen with Junno. Apparently they used to be a couple.”
Jin nodded. “Okay, I’ll be in after dinner.”
“Thanks.” And Kame shot them one last studying glance before heading out himself.
“Ah, almost caught by the head teacher…” Koki laughed. “That was close!”
“Oh, you’re awful!” Jin gave him a playful shove.
“I am.” Koki stood up. “Just think on it, okay?”
“Look, you can’t say anything…” Jin said. “Please, he doesn’t want people knowing we kissed, okay?”
“Trust me. Ne?”
Well, what choice did he have?
But as Koki walked away, all Jin could think was that another kiss would not be a bad thing…
If only Kame wanted it as badly as he did…
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The story continues:
Chapter 44 ~When Life Crashes~
A/N: Well, there you go. It seems like we haven't had enough Jin perspective lately to me. About darn time, huh?
And isn't Reina just adorable?
Seriously, I didn't plan on Koki going quite so serious. Er, actually, I sort of planned the exact opposite. But this is what came out so this is what you get. And, well, it's good to see how Kizuna sees Kame, right? We know a lot about how Kame THINKS they see him and he's largely right, but... There's so much he doesn't see and now you get to know some of it.
Oh, the cards. Almost forgot about the cards. Listen, give me till tomorrow. I'm going to make a post with the photos. The card Tatsuya handed Kame a few chapters back, Jin's card, and Koki's card. And in case it wasn't clear, Koki's is the only one that looks even slightly like someone tried to burn it, even though Tatsuya claims to have tried to burn all of his cards and that six of them wouldn't burn and keep appearing even though he gets rid of them. If it's not too much of a spoiler admitting these cards are from his deck that Junno said Tatsuya used to carry with him everywhere before they broke up.