sticks and stones [one direction, gen]
sticks and stones
~5,200 words // pg // gen
[Beta(s): lissa_bear]
[A/N: Yes, yes, you read that correctly. This is One Direction fanfic, courtesy of the all-enabling harriet_vane (now you know who to blame). I believe this started out as some random thought that came up in one of the many emails that have been thrown around in the last couple of weeks, until it decided it wanted to be a full-blown piece of writing. It's mostly me feeling out the characters, truthfully, which is a bit terrifying. Hopefully you'll enjoy it?]
[A/N 2: I would like to give all the cookies and punch (or maybe beer, yeah?) to the lovely, lovely lissa_bear for tearing through this thing. There's very little Brit-picking, but I think we did okay. If you notices something glaringly obvious, it's my error and please feel free to point it out!]
[Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and should not be taken seriously at all. Please do not share it outside this nice, little bubble of fandom.]
It's not until Liam answers his phone with a warm, eager, "Hey, Sarah," that Louis realizes he hasn't heard from their management offices in nearly a week. He glances over and Liam's got that look on his face, his 'concentration' face, eyebrows pulled close and chin tucked in, like it will help him remember better or something. Louis drags his own cell out of his pocket, checking for missed calls. There's nothing.
Liam's scribbling something on a scrap of paper, nodding, when Louis looks back up. "I'll check on it and get back to you--yeah, yeah. I've got that, just a sec--" Louis watches as Liam wanders toward the back of the bus, half-disappearing as he searches for something in his bunk. When he stands up again, there's a folder in his hand. Louis watches as Liam tries to open it and hold the phone at the same time. A few papers fall out and Louis snorts as Liam nearly drops his phone.
As Louis watches, the concentration face returns. He's too far away to hear what Liam's saying, but it seems pretty serious. Louis glances back down at his phone, frowning.
He doesn't get any of his regular calls from the office as the tour continues, but Liam certainly does.
~
It’s not like Louis does anything really important - they’ve got Paul and a small crew that takes care of most things - but Louis likes keeping track of where they’re going, calling ahead the ridiculous number of interviews they’re scheduled for, bits like that. Louis is acting like a jerk, he knows it, and watching Liam’s face crumple in confusion makes him feel bad. Only every time he goes to straighten things out, Liam's on the phone with Sarah, or Ted, or someone else from management, and Louis feels put out all over again.
The live shows are affected, the others picking up on the tension. Harry sticks by Louis, of course, and Zayn is inclined to keep to Liam’s side. Niall’s caught in the middle, unsure of what’s going on, and exhausting himself running back and forth between them. There’s almost a palpable air of relief when the tour finally ends.
The arrival home is surrounded by a cone of silence. They leave Niall at the airport, waiting on a flight home to visit his family for a few days, and barely speak or touch. The ride to the complex is quiet as well, broken only by Liam's occasional cough. The cold he's been fighting for the last week looks like it's going to win. Louis keeps his head down and tries to ignore the tiny, horrible spark of satisfaction at the sound.
Paul frowns a little as they tumble out of the van, silent. He pulls Liam slightly away from the group, and Louis watches them from the corner of his eye. There's a hand on a shoulder and Liam nods. Louis pulls too hard on a bag, bumping into someone. When he glances up, it's to find Harry giving him a small frown. Harry curls a hand around his arm, just above the elbow, and jerks his head toward the building. Louis nods and the two of them head inside, leaving the others behind.
Louis just needs some time away from everyone, that's all.
><
Louis' cell flashes Sarah. He glances at it and puts it back on the counter. Turning away, he comes face to face with Harry's inquiring eyebrows. Glancing over Louis' shoulder, Harry rolls his eyes and reaches around to grab the phone. Louis barely manages to dodge the knuckle punch aimed at his crotch. It glances off his thigh as he moves away, pretending not to pay attention to Harry’s side of the conversation. Harry's, "He didn't?" makes him look up though, and the look on Harry's face has him back, putting his ear up near the phone trying to hear.
All this gets him is a couple of fingers in his ear and Harry's serious back the fuck off look, so Louis does just that. Harry finally hangs up a few minutes later, but before Louis can say anything, he asks, "Have you heard from Liam?"
Not that he would have answered, but no, he hasn't heard from Liam in over a week. Louis only tells him the last part.
And truthfully that is a little worrying because Liam doesn't drop off the planet. Even when the guys are apart, he always checks in on them. Not like he makes it out that that's what he's doing, but when Louis receives notifications of Liam's latest blurry twitpics - some random guy wearing a horrific purple and yellow striped shirt with the caption "looks like someones been raiding @louis_tomlinson's wardrobe yeah" - it's not because Liam is an expert on Louis' fashion choices.
Something tightens in Louis' stomach and the look on Harry's face doesn't help. Harry hasn't spoken to Liam since they've been home either.
Harry chews on his lip. "Should we call Niall or Zayn?"
Louis shakes his head. Liam's flat is only a couple of floors above theirs, it'll be just as easy to pop over and check on him. He says as much and Harry grabs the keys as they head out the door. They don't really talk in the hallway or in the lift, but Harry's hand keeps brushing his. It's not like they usually walk with a whole lot of space between them anyway, but it feels different this time, like Harry's reaching for reassurance or something. Louis shakes the thought away. It's silly.
They reach Liam's flat door and Harry raps his knuckles on the door. There's no answer and he does it again, harder. "Come on, Liam. Open'r up."
Still nothing.
He glances over at Louis. "Maybe he's not here?"
Harry shrugs, but the look on his face makes the knot in Louis’ stomach twist tighter.
"Call him," Louis demands. Despite the look Louis gets at his tone, Harry doesn't hesitate to pull out his mobile. "Put it on speaker," Louis adds and a second later the sound of ringing echoes down the hallway. Liam's voicemail kicks on after five rings.
"Call agai--"
"I am," Harry cuts in, the words sharp.
Louis puts his ear up against the door and yes, there's the answering ring. It doesn't sound too far from the door and Louis knows that Liam likes to toss his phone and wallet on the little table in the front hallway. In his other ear, he can hear Liam's voicemail come on again. He turns his head to find Harry staring at him. There's definitely a glimmer of fear in his eyes, his mouth tight.
"It's in there, yeah?" Harry asks and Louis nods. Harry shoves his hand into the pocket of his trousers and pulls out a small key ring, three silver keys jingling together. Louis' frown earns him a shrug. Harry's, "Paul dropped 'em off right after we moved in," only makes him frown harder. He hadn't known about it. Harry just shrugs again and shoulders Louis out of the way.
It's very still when they finally step inside. It feels all wrong to Louis. Liam loves music, he's always got some playing. Right now though, it's way too quiet. "Liam?"
Nothing.
They're just standing there in the entryway, as if afraid to go any further. The back of Harry's hand is flush against Louis' and he does his best not to notice the faint tremble. He's not really sure if it's Harry or himself, truthfully.
"This is rubbish," Louis finally says, grabbing Harry's hand and tugging them both down the hallway. "Dammit, Liam! Why aren't you answering your mobile." He stops so abruptly that Harry nearly sends the both of them to the ground when he runs into Louis.
Once you're past the hallway, it's a clear shot to the living room.
A clear shot to the living room where Liam's passed out on the sofa, more pale than Louis' ever seen. It takes a second, but the light ruffle of papers laying on his chest assures Louis that he's at least breathing. That reassurance doesn't really stop Louis' heart from picking up.
"Call Paul," he tells Harry. His voice sounds far away to his own ears. "Now."
><
Liam's the most solid of all of them, but dwarfed by the wretched white-grey of the hospital bed, he looks small. It makes Louis want to punch something, and it's not until Harry bumps his shoulder and then stays close, that Louis realizes his hands are clenched. It takes more effort than he wants to admit to get them to relax.
Niall's taken residence in the only chair available. He's quiet and still, glancing back and forth between Liam's pale face and the two of them standing right inside the door. Zayn glances briefly towards them from his spot on the bed, half-seated in the sliver of available space next to Liam. He doesn't say a word to them, turning back almost immediately to watch Liam. Louis notes the way Zayn's hand unconsciously circles Liam's wrist. He can't seem to stop staring at that.
"Lou?" Harry says softly.
Louis shakes himself out of it, looking over. Harry's eyebrows are pulled together again, concerned, and Louis realizes suddenly that he absolutely hates that look. Hates that Harry's worrying, that Niall is so still, and Zayn is obviously scared. And really, who is he kidding? Louis himself is terrified.
Harry bumps his shoulder again, then wraps their pinkies together. He gives Louis a small smile, like he knows exactly what's going on inside Louis' head. There's a small squeeze around his finger and Harry turns back to the others. "They said it's mostly just a cold, ‘exacerbated’” - Harry makes finger quotes - “by severe dehydration.” Niall's mouth turns down, but relaxes a moment later when Harry continues. "They’re going to keep him a few days, but that he should be okay in a week or so.”
"That's good then?" Niall asks, and Harry nods. Louis can feel some of the tension leak out of Harry's shoulders and wishes he felt the same. "Wanker," Niall says fondly, looking back at the hospital bed. Liam hasn't moved at all. "Why didn't he tell anybody he was sick?"
"Dunno," Harry answers. Louis can feel the slight way he leans toward Louis, not even realizing that he's doing it. "You know Liam, probably didn't want to be a bother." Louis feels sick to his stomach, hazy even. He bites the tip of his tongue, the sharp sting of pain helping him focus.
"Probably 'cause Louis was being pissy." Zayn's voice is tense, the rigid line of his back making it clear who he thinks is to blame.
And this, this is what Louis was after. He can feel the tension inside him string impossibly tight, then snap.
"Come off that high horse, Malik-" Harry tugs on his hand, but Louis shakes him off, stepping toward the bed. "You were being just as much of a tosser as I was."
Zayn slides off the bed, glaring at Louis. "Don't you mean 'jealous prat'?"
Louis snarls and Zayn huffs out a laugh. It's not a pretty sound and looks all wrong on his face. They're both itching for something, the veins in Zayn's neck sticking out. It's only when Zayn hisses out, "Truth hurt, Tommo?" and Louis' fist is in motion, that he realizes they're close enough to touch.
He hears Harry shout but it's too late, his fist connects. It takes half a second to realize that it's Niall who’d stepped between them and is now bent in half, clutching his eye and mumbling fuckfuckfuck over and over.
Louis has never put much thought in the saying 'stomach dropping out', but that's exactly what happens. It's different than when they'd found Liam. Worse, because Louis knows that Liam will be okay now. They've never, ever thrown punches. Yelled and sulked and ignored each other, yes, but never real physical violence. It feels like he’s ruining everything.
When Louis looks over, Zayn eyes are wide, shocked, and Louis suddenly can't breathe.
It must show in his face because that look fades from Zayn's face, replaced by something Louis can't quite decipher. Zayn puts a hand on Niall's shoulder, pulling him towards the door. "Let's go grab some ice for your eye, 'kay?" Louis doesn't hear the mumbled reply.
The moment the door closes behind the two, Harry's muttering, "Jesus, Lou," and pulling him into a hug. It's a full-on body hug, arms wrapping around Louis' shoulders, their bodies flush. Louis shoves his face into Harry's neck, finally breathing in. It's a ragged sound, even to his own ears. He reaches up and holds on tight. It seems to take forever for his heartbeat to slow down.
"So-"
Louis nearly clocks himself on Harry's jaw, he snaps his head up so fast. Liam's staring, gaze moving back and forth between the two of them. He's still so very, very pale, but Louis can't help the rush of relief at the site of his slightly lost look, the scrunchy frowning eyebrows. Harry's body goes slack, normal, and Louis can't help tightening his fingers where they're still clenched in Harry's shirt.
Liam's voice is hoarse when he says, "I guess I was sicker than I thought, huh?"
Despite everything, it's the best sound Louis has heard all day.
~
There's almost another huge scene later, when they're informed that visiting hours are over. Anyone not related has to leave and all four of them protest, voices rising, until Paul shuts them down. He doesn't say a word at the darkening skin around Niall's eye or the obvious tension between Louis and Zayn, just shakes his head and puts a hand on Niall's shoulder, herding them out to the van.
There's already a smattering of people outside the gates to their complex. Paul's barely got his ID badge out before the guard starts opening the gate. Louis has never been more glad of tinted windows in his life than at that moment.
~
Things may be horribly wrong right now, but it's obvious none of them want to be alone. Niall and Zayn end up asleep on the sofa, half-sprawled across each other. Harry tosses a blanket over them, Louis standing behind the sofa, watching. Zayn mumbles something that sounds like thanks and Liam, but doesn't wake up and Louis has to leave the room or he might throw up.
He makes it to his bedroom at least, sitting on the end of the bed and slumping forward, head between his knees. Breathe in. Breathe out. The bed dips as Harry sits beside him, hand running slowly up and down Louis' back. It's a familiar touch, one that helps ground Louis, and a moment later he straightens up. Harry's hand comes up, his palm a warm heat on Louis' neck.
"It's not your fault," Harry says quietly.
It is, Louis thinks. It really is.
"It's not." Fingers tighten around his neck and Louis sighs, slumping sideways. Harry knows him better than anyone and even though Louis wants to argue, it's pointless against Harry's single-mindedness. Louis always, always loses those battles. He sighs again, warm breath reflecting back at him where his face is pressed against Harry's shoulder. There's the press of lips against the top of his head and then, "Let's get some sleep, Lou. Things will look better in the morning, I promise."
He tugs Louis further up the bed, kicking his shoes off and curling around him. It's hits Louis again, how much Harry's grown in the last few months. He feels impossibly long, fitted along Louis' back; a warm presence that eventually makes it harder and harder to hold his eyes open. After a while Louis finally quits trying.
><
Harry's a liar.
Niall's eye is a brilliant shade of blue-black the next morning, taunting Louis every time he turns around. Breakfast is too quiet, everyone pushing their food around, pretending to eat. The relief is palpable when Paul finally shows up. Louis would laugh if he didn't feel so horrible.
It's leaked, Paul tells them, and while they've been able to contain Liam's location, the crowd outside the gate has gotten quite a bit larger. Louis has this moment of wanting to go down there and scream at them to go away and when he glances around, Zayn's lips are pressed tightly together. Their eyes meet and Louis knows he's feeling the same way. It's a short-lived moment of familiar solidarity though; Zayn's eyes go cold again almost immediately.
Louis shifts his attention back to Paul in time to hear him say, "-so we're going to rotate you guys, yeah? We've got a couple different cars that will be coming around to grab one of you for a few hours and then bring you back--"
"I'll go first," Zayn interrupts. Louis opens his mouth to protest, looking over to find Zayn giving him a hard look. "Yeah?" It's less a question than a challenge and Louis can feel Harry move a little closer.
"S'great," Harry responds, reaching out and putting his hand on Zayn's shoulder. Louis can't really see Harry's face, but he must smile because Zayn relaxes, the corner of his mouth tipping up. Harry tells Paul, "Then Louis and Niall. I'll go last like the self-sacrificing bloke I am." Niall snorts and Harry pokes him the ribs. "Shut it, Horan. See if I ever jump on a grenade for you."
That makes Niall scoff even louder and half a second later, it's dissolved into a slap fight. Zayn's laughing at the two of them and Paul pinches the bridge of his nose, like a headache's about to come on. It looks--
Normal.
It's something at least, and Louis will take it.
~
Once Paul and Zayn leave, Harry and Niall throw themselves into an epic Mario Kart battle. Louis tucks himself into the corner of the sofa, watching the two of them as they half-play, half-wrestle, each one doing their best to distract the other from winning. It's going great until Harry accidentally clips Niall's bruised eye. Louis sits up straight as Niall shouts, clutching a hand over his eye.
"Let me see," Harry demands, pulling Niall's hand away. Niall slaps at him, but doesn't resist when Harry gets a hand on his chin, turning it to get a better look. Harry glances over at Louis for second, eyes serious, before he looks back at Niall. And pokes him right in the darkest part of the bruise.
"Harry!" Louis is off the sofa and on the floor, his shout mixing with Niall's, "Ah! Harry, you wanker!"
Harry just shrugs, signature grin on his face. Niall punches him in the shoulder and Harry's grin widens. He scrambles backwards, nodding toward Louis. "You should talk.” He's up and out of the room before Louis can protest.
Louis is thinking of revoking all of Harry's best friend privileges and doing his best to avoid actually looking at Niall, when Niall chuckles. It's not what Louis was expecting and he looks up. It really is a spectacular shade of blue-black and Louis can't help but reach out. He stops short though and Niall rolls his eyes, wincing a little. He tilts his head until Louis' fingers brush against the injured skin.
"I didn't really think you were going to hit him, you know?" He says. Another soft laugh, then, "I definitely wouldn't have stepped in."
Louis drops his hand immediately and slumps back against the sofa. There's a loud sigh and then Niall's there, right beside him, shoulder to shoulder. "It's okay, Louis-"
"It's not," he insists. Maybe if he says it enough, they'll all realize it's the truth. Niall wraps an arm around his shoulders, tugging him in until Louis' head is resting on his shoulder.
"It's really not!" Harry shouts from the kitchen. "It's like kicking a puppy!"
"Sod off, Styles!" Niall shouts back. "We're havin' a moment!"
Louis huffs out a laugh and Niall knocks his cheek against the top of Louis' head. "It really isn't okay," Louis tells him again, a few minutes later. He feels exhausted, drained.
"I know," Niall responds, squeezing him in closer. "But it will be."
><
The car feels all wrong to Louis. The windows are tinted like the van, but it feels too big, like there's too much area that's not filled. It's a ridiculous thought, but Louis can't seem to shake it.
They get to the gate and Louis tucks his chin down and turns away from the window. Paul glances over at him and whatever's on Louis' face makes his eyebrows pinch together. Louis offers him a small smile before looking away; he doesn't really want to answer any questions and Paul's been with them long enough now that he'll know exactly which questions to ask. Especially since there's no way he missed the cold shoulder Zayn gave Louis when he came back from the hospital.
They get through the gate and Louis rests his head against the window, doing his best not to think about all the impossibly empty space around him.
~
He hesitates just outside Liam's room and for a split second, nearly turns back. Before he can give in to the urge, however, Liam's mum pulls the door open. A smile immediately brightens her face and she reaches out to hug him.
He's not proud at the way he hangs on for longer than he should. She doesn't protest though, just gives him an extra squeeze and runs a hand over his hair.
"We're off to get a bit to eat, love. Do you want us to bring you something back?" Louis shakes his head and she puts a hand on cheek, looking him straight in the eye. Louis isn't quite sure what she sees there, but another small smile and she tells him to head on in. It's not like he can run now, so Louis steps around her.
Liam's awake, looking a million times better than the yesterday. There are still dark circles under his eyes, but there's color in his cheeks now. Liam gives him a tentative smile and something loosens in Louis' chest. Moving further into the room, Louis glances around. Nearly every surface is now covered in flowers.
"It kind of looks like a flower bomb exploded in here." Louis says and Liam laughs.
"Yeah, Paul said they just started coming in, one after the other." Louis brushes his fingertips over the edge of the bed. The sheets are a little rough and he wonders if Liam is comfortable enough. "There were too many to fit." Liam's voice holds that little sound of astonishment, even after everything that's happened to them. "I asked them to see if the other patients would like them."
"Of course you did," Louis snorts. There's a lovely bouquet on the little table next to the bed and Louis picks at the card. It's from management.
For a split second, Louis nearly crumbles the card, but stops himself. He puts it back, turning a bright, wide smile toward Liam. "So, did they get you a pretty little nurse for a bath yet?"
Liam frowns at him. "Louis-"
Louis rolls over him, reaching out to tug at the sheet covering Liam. "I hear they are all the rage for young men like yourself." He lifts the sheet up, ignoring Liam's frustrated sigh. "Did they even give you some pants or are you starkers--" He snaps his mouth shut as Liam's hand wraps around his wrist.
"You make me so tired sometimes, Lou," he says. Like now, Louis thinks, finally looking up. Liam's grip is strong even though he looks exhausted, and there's just one more thing for Louis to feel guilty about.
"Liam--"
"Take a nap with me," Liam asks, tugging on Louis' arm. Louis looks up in surprise. "Come on," he tugs again, shifting over in the bed.
"That's an awfully tight squeeze, Mr. Payne. Are you propositioning me?" Liam just gives him that look, the one that makes Louis feel like he's kicked a puppy, and waits. After a moment's hesitation, Louis just sighs.
It is a tight squeeze, Louis on his side, snug up against Liam. An arm curls around him and Louis finds his nose tucked in the warm line of Liam's throat. They lie there, quiet, and it's nice. Louis makes his breathing match Liam's and he can feel his eyelids drooping. It's been days since he's slept well.
So that's when Liam asks quietly, "Do you want to tell me why Zayn is mad at you?"
Louis is not ready for this. "Not really," he groans. "Can't we just sleep? I thought you wanted to take a nap."
He gets a little shake. "Louis."
Louis really, really doesn't want to have this conversation, but--to avoid the obvious cliche--he's made his bed and now he's lying in it. He sighs, burying his face further in Liam's neck. "IkindofpunchedNiallintheface."
"What?"
Louis groans, pulling his face out and taking a deep breath. He can't bring himself to meet Liam's eyes. "I kind of hit Niall. In the face." And because Liam's a little slow sometimes, he adds, "With my fist."
"What?"
"To be fair, it's his own fault." Not that Louis feels any less guilty. "I was going for Zayn and he--"
"Louis!"
"I know, okay?" Louis mumbles. "I want to punch myself for that, but Niall's seemed to have forgiven me at least."
He can feel Liam processing that, can feel him relax a little, and Louis has a burst of hope that they won't actually talk about his stupidity. That hope is dashed a second later.
"Why'd you want to hit Zayn though?" Liam asks, his voice low and a little confused. "I mean, I know you weren't happy with me-" Louis winces. He can tell Liam's trying to be matter-of-fact, but he's shit at really hiding his feelings.
"Liam-"
"But I didn't think Zayn had done anything." Liam's about to ramble, Louis can tell. "Whatever it is though, you should talk to him. You shouldn't be mad at him and me and you really shouldn't go around hitting--"
Louis bites his collarbone, and Liam twitches, voice trailing off. With a sigh, Louis pulls back until he can look Liam fully in the face. Liam's not quite looking him at him, a faint blush across his cheeks. An overwhelming rush of fondness hits Louis straight in the chest.
"I'm not mad at you." Liam finally looks at him, disbelief written across his face. "I-I wasn't mad at you, I was-" Louis sighs again. "This is going to sound stupid, but I was jealous."
Liam looks confused now.
It just falls out of Louis then, how he'd noticed that management was calling Liam more and more, Louis less and less. How they were treating Liam, having him handle stuff that Louis used to take care of and then so much more than those little things.
"So I was jealous," Louis admits again. "And I acted like a total tit about the whole thing and the others just picked up on it and I'm really, really sorry."
Silence greets his apology and Louis lifts his chin to find Liam staring intently at him. He's about to apologize again when Liam says, "That's all it was?"
Louis frowns. "Isn't that enough?" He feels bad enough already, he's not sure he can take anything else to feel guilty about. Liam doesn't respond and Louis tilts his head, studying his friend. There's another flush of red on Liam's face again and Louis presses the back of his hand against a cheek. "Liam?"
Liam jerks his chin, like he's shaking off a thought, and dislodges Louis' hand. "No. Yes. Yes, that's enough. Of course, it is."
Louis gives him another once over then drops is head back down. They lie there, silent, for a few minutes before Louis mumbles, "I forgive you, too."
Liam's, "For what?" rumbles under Louis' cheek.
"For not calling, you arse.” Louis answers. He pokes a finger in Liam's side, eliciting a jerk. "You were sick and you should have called someone. Don't do it again." He pokes again, and Liam's hand wraps around his own.
"Geez, Lou, okay."
"Promise." Louis moves his hand and Liam's fingers tighten, even as he tells Louis what he wants to hear. There's silence after that, but it's a comfortable one.
After a while, he can feel Liam's breath start evening out and his own body relaxes. He's nearly asleep when Liam mumbles, "You need to make it right with Zayn, you know."
He will, Louis tells himself. As he slips into sleep though, he's not quite sure how.
><
Liam's words keep rolling around in Louis' head but he can't seem to find the right time to fix it. He's not really sure how to anyway. Zayn is basically avoiding him when they're in the same room and even Niall can't seem to help. Harry finally throws his hands up, shrugging his shoulders and declaring the lot of them a lost cause.
Louis is inclined to agree.
~
Three days later, they bring Liam home. Paul won't let any of them come to the hospital. They all protest profusely, but he's insistent. So they sit around for a while, waiting. An hour passes by and they all get a little restless. Niall can't keep still on the sofa and Harry wanders by Louis a dozen times or more, brushing a hand on his shoulder or his hand. Reassuring who, Louis isn't quite sure. At least, not until he looks up and sees the tension around Harry's eyes. With a small smile, Louis leans against his side.
Zayn glances at his watch for the millionth time, pulling the curtain back to look outside again, and Louis realizes they're being a bit ridiculous. Liam is fine. He opens his mouth to say as much when Zayn straightens up, shoulders pulling back.
"They're here."
The shift in the room is instant. Harry pulls away, headed for the door. Niall half-shouts something unintelligible, excitement evident. Louis doesn't move.
Zayn doesn't either, still looking out the window. He says it again, They're here, and there's a strange undertone in the words, Louis can feel it, see it when Zayn turns away from the window and their eyes meet.
This is stupid, Louis thinks.
They're whole again and this is so stupid.
The thought must show because something shifts on Zayn's face, loosens.
"Louis-"
"I'm sorry." Louis cuts him off. He can hear Harry and Niall behind him, voices echoing with another, familiar one. "I was a complete asshole and I'm sorry."
Zayn shakes his head, pressing his lips together. His gaze goes over Louis' shoulder and then a moment later, he meets Louis' eyes again. "You're such a shit, Louis. I swear."
"I know," Louis grins. "Wouldn't have me any other way, yeah?"
"Of course not," a voice answers behind him. Louis finally turns to find Liam's smiling at him, tangled up with Harry and Niall in the doorway. There's something like pride in his eyes and Louis can't help the rush of warmth in his chest.
A hand wraps around his neck and Zayn pulls him into a one-armed hug. "Such a shit," he says again, in Louis' ear. His hand squeezes tight and Louis tucks his head into onto Zayn's shoulder. Liam's smile is wide and Louis knows there's a matching one on his own face.
"Awww, they made up," Harry coos, making kissy faces at the two of them. Louis flips him off and Zayn laughs.
It's a little bit perfect.
[x-posted here on 06/06/12 and here on 06/07/12]
~5,200 words // pg // gen
[Beta(s): lissa_bear]
[A/N: Yes, yes, you read that correctly. This is One Direction fanfic, courtesy of the all-enabling harriet_vane (now you know who to blame). I believe this started out as some random thought that came up in one of the many emails that have been thrown around in the last couple of weeks, until it decided it wanted to be a full-blown piece of writing. It's mostly me feeling out the characters, truthfully, which is a bit terrifying. Hopefully you'll enjoy it?]
[A/N 2: I would like to give all the cookies and punch (or maybe beer, yeah?) to the lovely, lovely lissa_bear for tearing through this thing. There's very little Brit-picking, but I think we did okay. If you notices something glaringly obvious, it's my error and please feel free to point it out!]
[Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and should not be taken seriously at all. Please do not share it outside this nice, little bubble of fandom.]
It's not until Liam answers his phone with a warm, eager, "Hey, Sarah," that Louis realizes he hasn't heard from their management offices in nearly a week. He glances over and Liam's got that look on his face, his 'concentration' face, eyebrows pulled close and chin tucked in, like it will help him remember better or something. Louis drags his own cell out of his pocket, checking for missed calls. There's nothing.
Liam's scribbling something on a scrap of paper, nodding, when Louis looks back up. "I'll check on it and get back to you--yeah, yeah. I've got that, just a sec--" Louis watches as Liam wanders toward the back of the bus, half-disappearing as he searches for something in his bunk. When he stands up again, there's a folder in his hand. Louis watches as Liam tries to open it and hold the phone at the same time. A few papers fall out and Louis snorts as Liam nearly drops his phone.
As Louis watches, the concentration face returns. He's too far away to hear what Liam's saying, but it seems pretty serious. Louis glances back down at his phone, frowning.
He doesn't get any of his regular calls from the office as the tour continues, but Liam certainly does.
~
It’s not like Louis does anything really important - they’ve got Paul and a small crew that takes care of most things - but Louis likes keeping track of where they’re going, calling ahead the ridiculous number of interviews they’re scheduled for, bits like that. Louis is acting like a jerk, he knows it, and watching Liam’s face crumple in confusion makes him feel bad. Only every time he goes to straighten things out, Liam's on the phone with Sarah, or Ted, or someone else from management, and Louis feels put out all over again.
The live shows are affected, the others picking up on the tension. Harry sticks by Louis, of course, and Zayn is inclined to keep to Liam’s side. Niall’s caught in the middle, unsure of what’s going on, and exhausting himself running back and forth between them. There’s almost a palpable air of relief when the tour finally ends.
The arrival home is surrounded by a cone of silence. They leave Niall at the airport, waiting on a flight home to visit his family for a few days, and barely speak or touch. The ride to the complex is quiet as well, broken only by Liam's occasional cough. The cold he's been fighting for the last week looks like it's going to win. Louis keeps his head down and tries to ignore the tiny, horrible spark of satisfaction at the sound.
Paul frowns a little as they tumble out of the van, silent. He pulls Liam slightly away from the group, and Louis watches them from the corner of his eye. There's a hand on a shoulder and Liam nods. Louis pulls too hard on a bag, bumping into someone. When he glances up, it's to find Harry giving him a small frown. Harry curls a hand around his arm, just above the elbow, and jerks his head toward the building. Louis nods and the two of them head inside, leaving the others behind.
Louis just needs some time away from everyone, that's all.
><
Louis' cell flashes Sarah. He glances at it and puts it back on the counter. Turning away, he comes face to face with Harry's inquiring eyebrows. Glancing over Louis' shoulder, Harry rolls his eyes and reaches around to grab the phone. Louis barely manages to dodge the knuckle punch aimed at his crotch. It glances off his thigh as he moves away, pretending not to pay attention to Harry’s side of the conversation. Harry's, "He didn't?" makes him look up though, and the look on Harry's face has him back, putting his ear up near the phone trying to hear.
All this gets him is a couple of fingers in his ear and Harry's serious back the fuck off look, so Louis does just that. Harry finally hangs up a few minutes later, but before Louis can say anything, he asks, "Have you heard from Liam?"
Not that he would have answered, but no, he hasn't heard from Liam in over a week. Louis only tells him the last part.
And truthfully that is a little worrying because Liam doesn't drop off the planet. Even when the guys are apart, he always checks in on them. Not like he makes it out that that's what he's doing, but when Louis receives notifications of Liam's latest blurry twitpics - some random guy wearing a horrific purple and yellow striped shirt with the caption "looks like someones been raiding @louis_tomlinson's wardrobe yeah" - it's not because Liam is an expert on Louis' fashion choices.
Something tightens in Louis' stomach and the look on Harry's face doesn't help. Harry hasn't spoken to Liam since they've been home either.
Harry chews on his lip. "Should we call Niall or Zayn?"
Louis shakes his head. Liam's flat is only a couple of floors above theirs, it'll be just as easy to pop over and check on him. He says as much and Harry grabs the keys as they head out the door. They don't really talk in the hallway or in the lift, but Harry's hand keeps brushing his. It's not like they usually walk with a whole lot of space between them anyway, but it feels different this time, like Harry's reaching for reassurance or something. Louis shakes the thought away. It's silly.
They reach Liam's flat door and Harry raps his knuckles on the door. There's no answer and he does it again, harder. "Come on, Liam. Open'r up."
Still nothing.
He glances over at Louis. "Maybe he's not here?"
Harry shrugs, but the look on his face makes the knot in Louis’ stomach twist tighter.
"Call him," Louis demands. Despite the look Louis gets at his tone, Harry doesn't hesitate to pull out his mobile. "Put it on speaker," Louis adds and a second later the sound of ringing echoes down the hallway. Liam's voicemail kicks on after five rings.
"Call agai--"
"I am," Harry cuts in, the words sharp.
Louis puts his ear up against the door and yes, there's the answering ring. It doesn't sound too far from the door and Louis knows that Liam likes to toss his phone and wallet on the little table in the front hallway. In his other ear, he can hear Liam's voicemail come on again. He turns his head to find Harry staring at him. There's definitely a glimmer of fear in his eyes, his mouth tight.
"It's in there, yeah?" Harry asks and Louis nods. Harry shoves his hand into the pocket of his trousers and pulls out a small key ring, three silver keys jingling together. Louis' frown earns him a shrug. Harry's, "Paul dropped 'em off right after we moved in," only makes him frown harder. He hadn't known about it. Harry just shrugs again and shoulders Louis out of the way.
It's very still when they finally step inside. It feels all wrong to Louis. Liam loves music, he's always got some playing. Right now though, it's way too quiet. "Liam?"
Nothing.
They're just standing there in the entryway, as if afraid to go any further. The back of Harry's hand is flush against Louis' and he does his best not to notice the faint tremble. He's not really sure if it's Harry or himself, truthfully.
"This is rubbish," Louis finally says, grabbing Harry's hand and tugging them both down the hallway. "Dammit, Liam! Why aren't you answering your mobile." He stops so abruptly that Harry nearly sends the both of them to the ground when he runs into Louis.
Once you're past the hallway, it's a clear shot to the living room.
A clear shot to the living room where Liam's passed out on the sofa, more pale than Louis' ever seen. It takes a second, but the light ruffle of papers laying on his chest assures Louis that he's at least breathing. That reassurance doesn't really stop Louis' heart from picking up.
"Call Paul," he tells Harry. His voice sounds far away to his own ears. "Now."
><
Liam's the most solid of all of them, but dwarfed by the wretched white-grey of the hospital bed, he looks small. It makes Louis want to punch something, and it's not until Harry bumps his shoulder and then stays close, that Louis realizes his hands are clenched. It takes more effort than he wants to admit to get them to relax.
Niall's taken residence in the only chair available. He's quiet and still, glancing back and forth between Liam's pale face and the two of them standing right inside the door. Zayn glances briefly towards them from his spot on the bed, half-seated in the sliver of available space next to Liam. He doesn't say a word to them, turning back almost immediately to watch Liam. Louis notes the way Zayn's hand unconsciously circles Liam's wrist. He can't seem to stop staring at that.
"Lou?" Harry says softly.
Louis shakes himself out of it, looking over. Harry's eyebrows are pulled together again, concerned, and Louis realizes suddenly that he absolutely hates that look. Hates that Harry's worrying, that Niall is so still, and Zayn is obviously scared. And really, who is he kidding? Louis himself is terrified.
Harry bumps his shoulder again, then wraps their pinkies together. He gives Louis a small smile, like he knows exactly what's going on inside Louis' head. There's a small squeeze around his finger and Harry turns back to the others. "They said it's mostly just a cold, ‘exacerbated’” - Harry makes finger quotes - “by severe dehydration.” Niall's mouth turns down, but relaxes a moment later when Harry continues. "They’re going to keep him a few days, but that he should be okay in a week or so.”
"That's good then?" Niall asks, and Harry nods. Louis can feel some of the tension leak out of Harry's shoulders and wishes he felt the same. "Wanker," Niall says fondly, looking back at the hospital bed. Liam hasn't moved at all. "Why didn't he tell anybody he was sick?"
"Dunno," Harry answers. Louis can feel the slight way he leans toward Louis, not even realizing that he's doing it. "You know Liam, probably didn't want to be a bother." Louis feels sick to his stomach, hazy even. He bites the tip of his tongue, the sharp sting of pain helping him focus.
"Probably 'cause Louis was being pissy." Zayn's voice is tense, the rigid line of his back making it clear who he thinks is to blame.
And this, this is what Louis was after. He can feel the tension inside him string impossibly tight, then snap.
"Come off that high horse, Malik-" Harry tugs on his hand, but Louis shakes him off, stepping toward the bed. "You were being just as much of a tosser as I was."
Zayn slides off the bed, glaring at Louis. "Don't you mean 'jealous prat'?"
Louis snarls and Zayn huffs out a laugh. It's not a pretty sound and looks all wrong on his face. They're both itching for something, the veins in Zayn's neck sticking out. It's only when Zayn hisses out, "Truth hurt, Tommo?" and Louis' fist is in motion, that he realizes they're close enough to touch.
He hears Harry shout but it's too late, his fist connects. It takes half a second to realize that it's Niall who’d stepped between them and is now bent in half, clutching his eye and mumbling fuckfuckfuck over and over.
Louis has never put much thought in the saying 'stomach dropping out', but that's exactly what happens. It's different than when they'd found Liam. Worse, because Louis knows that Liam will be okay now. They've never, ever thrown punches. Yelled and sulked and ignored each other, yes, but never real physical violence. It feels like he’s ruining everything.
When Louis looks over, Zayn eyes are wide, shocked, and Louis suddenly can't breathe.
It must show in his face because that look fades from Zayn's face, replaced by something Louis can't quite decipher. Zayn puts a hand on Niall's shoulder, pulling him towards the door. "Let's go grab some ice for your eye, 'kay?" Louis doesn't hear the mumbled reply.
The moment the door closes behind the two, Harry's muttering, "Jesus, Lou," and pulling him into a hug. It's a full-on body hug, arms wrapping around Louis' shoulders, their bodies flush. Louis shoves his face into Harry's neck, finally breathing in. It's a ragged sound, even to his own ears. He reaches up and holds on tight. It seems to take forever for his heartbeat to slow down.
"So-"
Louis nearly clocks himself on Harry's jaw, he snaps his head up so fast. Liam's staring, gaze moving back and forth between the two of them. He's still so very, very pale, but Louis can't help the rush of relief at the site of his slightly lost look, the scrunchy frowning eyebrows. Harry's body goes slack, normal, and Louis can't help tightening his fingers where they're still clenched in Harry's shirt.
Liam's voice is hoarse when he says, "I guess I was sicker than I thought, huh?"
Despite everything, it's the best sound Louis has heard all day.
~
There's almost another huge scene later, when they're informed that visiting hours are over. Anyone not related has to leave and all four of them protest, voices rising, until Paul shuts them down. He doesn't say a word at the darkening skin around Niall's eye or the obvious tension between Louis and Zayn, just shakes his head and puts a hand on Niall's shoulder, herding them out to the van.
There's already a smattering of people outside the gates to their complex. Paul's barely got his ID badge out before the guard starts opening the gate. Louis has never been more glad of tinted windows in his life than at that moment.
~
Things may be horribly wrong right now, but it's obvious none of them want to be alone. Niall and Zayn end up asleep on the sofa, half-sprawled across each other. Harry tosses a blanket over them, Louis standing behind the sofa, watching. Zayn mumbles something that sounds like thanks and Liam, but doesn't wake up and Louis has to leave the room or he might throw up.
He makes it to his bedroom at least, sitting on the end of the bed and slumping forward, head between his knees. Breathe in. Breathe out. The bed dips as Harry sits beside him, hand running slowly up and down Louis' back. It's a familiar touch, one that helps ground Louis, and a moment later he straightens up. Harry's hand comes up, his palm a warm heat on Louis' neck.
"It's not your fault," Harry says quietly.
It is, Louis thinks. It really is.
"It's not." Fingers tighten around his neck and Louis sighs, slumping sideways. Harry knows him better than anyone and even though Louis wants to argue, it's pointless against Harry's single-mindedness. Louis always, always loses those battles. He sighs again, warm breath reflecting back at him where his face is pressed against Harry's shoulder. There's the press of lips against the top of his head and then, "Let's get some sleep, Lou. Things will look better in the morning, I promise."
He tugs Louis further up the bed, kicking his shoes off and curling around him. It's hits Louis again, how much Harry's grown in the last few months. He feels impossibly long, fitted along Louis' back; a warm presence that eventually makes it harder and harder to hold his eyes open. After a while Louis finally quits trying.
><
Harry's a liar.
Niall's eye is a brilliant shade of blue-black the next morning, taunting Louis every time he turns around. Breakfast is too quiet, everyone pushing their food around, pretending to eat. The relief is palpable when Paul finally shows up. Louis would laugh if he didn't feel so horrible.
It's leaked, Paul tells them, and while they've been able to contain Liam's location, the crowd outside the gate has gotten quite a bit larger. Louis has this moment of wanting to go down there and scream at them to go away and when he glances around, Zayn's lips are pressed tightly together. Their eyes meet and Louis knows he's feeling the same way. It's a short-lived moment of familiar solidarity though; Zayn's eyes go cold again almost immediately.
Louis shifts his attention back to Paul in time to hear him say, "-so we're going to rotate you guys, yeah? We've got a couple different cars that will be coming around to grab one of you for a few hours and then bring you back--"
"I'll go first," Zayn interrupts. Louis opens his mouth to protest, looking over to find Zayn giving him a hard look. "Yeah?" It's less a question than a challenge and Louis can feel Harry move a little closer.
"S'great," Harry responds, reaching out and putting his hand on Zayn's shoulder. Louis can't really see Harry's face, but he must smile because Zayn relaxes, the corner of his mouth tipping up. Harry tells Paul, "Then Louis and Niall. I'll go last like the self-sacrificing bloke I am." Niall snorts and Harry pokes him the ribs. "Shut it, Horan. See if I ever jump on a grenade for you."
That makes Niall scoff even louder and half a second later, it's dissolved into a slap fight. Zayn's laughing at the two of them and Paul pinches the bridge of his nose, like a headache's about to come on. It looks--
Normal.
It's something at least, and Louis will take it.
~
Once Paul and Zayn leave, Harry and Niall throw themselves into an epic Mario Kart battle. Louis tucks himself into the corner of the sofa, watching the two of them as they half-play, half-wrestle, each one doing their best to distract the other from winning. It's going great until Harry accidentally clips Niall's bruised eye. Louis sits up straight as Niall shouts, clutching a hand over his eye.
"Let me see," Harry demands, pulling Niall's hand away. Niall slaps at him, but doesn't resist when Harry gets a hand on his chin, turning it to get a better look. Harry glances over at Louis for second, eyes serious, before he looks back at Niall. And pokes him right in the darkest part of the bruise.
"Harry!" Louis is off the sofa and on the floor, his shout mixing with Niall's, "Ah! Harry, you wanker!"
Harry just shrugs, signature grin on his face. Niall punches him in the shoulder and Harry's grin widens. He scrambles backwards, nodding toward Louis. "You should talk.” He's up and out of the room before Louis can protest.
Louis is thinking of revoking all of Harry's best friend privileges and doing his best to avoid actually looking at Niall, when Niall chuckles. It's not what Louis was expecting and he looks up. It really is a spectacular shade of blue-black and Louis can't help but reach out. He stops short though and Niall rolls his eyes, wincing a little. He tilts his head until Louis' fingers brush against the injured skin.
"I didn't really think you were going to hit him, you know?" He says. Another soft laugh, then, "I definitely wouldn't have stepped in."
Louis drops his hand immediately and slumps back against the sofa. There's a loud sigh and then Niall's there, right beside him, shoulder to shoulder. "It's okay, Louis-"
"It's not," he insists. Maybe if he says it enough, they'll all realize it's the truth. Niall wraps an arm around his shoulders, tugging him in until Louis' head is resting on his shoulder.
"It's really not!" Harry shouts from the kitchen. "It's like kicking a puppy!"
"Sod off, Styles!" Niall shouts back. "We're havin' a moment!"
Louis huffs out a laugh and Niall knocks his cheek against the top of Louis' head. "It really isn't okay," Louis tells him again, a few minutes later. He feels exhausted, drained.
"I know," Niall responds, squeezing him in closer. "But it will be."
><
The car feels all wrong to Louis. The windows are tinted like the van, but it feels too big, like there's too much area that's not filled. It's a ridiculous thought, but Louis can't seem to shake it.
They get to the gate and Louis tucks his chin down and turns away from the window. Paul glances over at him and whatever's on Louis' face makes his eyebrows pinch together. Louis offers him a small smile before looking away; he doesn't really want to answer any questions and Paul's been with them long enough now that he'll know exactly which questions to ask. Especially since there's no way he missed the cold shoulder Zayn gave Louis when he came back from the hospital.
They get through the gate and Louis rests his head against the window, doing his best not to think about all the impossibly empty space around him.
~
He hesitates just outside Liam's room and for a split second, nearly turns back. Before he can give in to the urge, however, Liam's mum pulls the door open. A smile immediately brightens her face and she reaches out to hug him.
He's not proud at the way he hangs on for longer than he should. She doesn't protest though, just gives him an extra squeeze and runs a hand over his hair.
"We're off to get a bit to eat, love. Do you want us to bring you something back?" Louis shakes his head and she puts a hand on cheek, looking him straight in the eye. Louis isn't quite sure what she sees there, but another small smile and she tells him to head on in. It's not like he can run now, so Louis steps around her.
Liam's awake, looking a million times better than the yesterday. There are still dark circles under his eyes, but there's color in his cheeks now. Liam gives him a tentative smile and something loosens in Louis' chest. Moving further into the room, Louis glances around. Nearly every surface is now covered in flowers.
"It kind of looks like a flower bomb exploded in here." Louis says and Liam laughs.
"Yeah, Paul said they just started coming in, one after the other." Louis brushes his fingertips over the edge of the bed. The sheets are a little rough and he wonders if Liam is comfortable enough. "There were too many to fit." Liam's voice holds that little sound of astonishment, even after everything that's happened to them. "I asked them to see if the other patients would like them."
"Of course you did," Louis snorts. There's a lovely bouquet on the little table next to the bed and Louis picks at the card. It's from management.
For a split second, Louis nearly crumbles the card, but stops himself. He puts it back, turning a bright, wide smile toward Liam. "So, did they get you a pretty little nurse for a bath yet?"
Liam frowns at him. "Louis-"
Louis rolls over him, reaching out to tug at the sheet covering Liam. "I hear they are all the rage for young men like yourself." He lifts the sheet up, ignoring Liam's frustrated sigh. "Did they even give you some pants or are you starkers--" He snaps his mouth shut as Liam's hand wraps around his wrist.
"You make me so tired sometimes, Lou," he says. Like now, Louis thinks, finally looking up. Liam's grip is strong even though he looks exhausted, and there's just one more thing for Louis to feel guilty about.
"Liam--"
"Take a nap with me," Liam asks, tugging on Louis' arm. Louis looks up in surprise. "Come on," he tugs again, shifting over in the bed.
"That's an awfully tight squeeze, Mr. Payne. Are you propositioning me?" Liam just gives him that look, the one that makes Louis feel like he's kicked a puppy, and waits. After a moment's hesitation, Louis just sighs.
It is a tight squeeze, Louis on his side, snug up against Liam. An arm curls around him and Louis finds his nose tucked in the warm line of Liam's throat. They lie there, quiet, and it's nice. Louis makes his breathing match Liam's and he can feel his eyelids drooping. It's been days since he's slept well.
So that's when Liam asks quietly, "Do you want to tell me why Zayn is mad at you?"
Louis is not ready for this. "Not really," he groans. "Can't we just sleep? I thought you wanted to take a nap."
He gets a little shake. "Louis."
Louis really, really doesn't want to have this conversation, but--to avoid the obvious cliche--he's made his bed and now he's lying in it. He sighs, burying his face further in Liam's neck. "IkindofpunchedNiallintheface."
"What?"
Louis groans, pulling his face out and taking a deep breath. He can't bring himself to meet Liam's eyes. "I kind of hit Niall. In the face." And because Liam's a little slow sometimes, he adds, "With my fist."
"What?"
"To be fair, it's his own fault." Not that Louis feels any less guilty. "I was going for Zayn and he--"
"Louis!"
"I know, okay?" Louis mumbles. "I want to punch myself for that, but Niall's seemed to have forgiven me at least."
He can feel Liam processing that, can feel him relax a little, and Louis has a burst of hope that they won't actually talk about his stupidity. That hope is dashed a second later.
"Why'd you want to hit Zayn though?" Liam asks, his voice low and a little confused. "I mean, I know you weren't happy with me-" Louis winces. He can tell Liam's trying to be matter-of-fact, but he's shit at really hiding his feelings.
"Liam-"
"But I didn't think Zayn had done anything." Liam's about to ramble, Louis can tell. "Whatever it is though, you should talk to him. You shouldn't be mad at him and me and you really shouldn't go around hitting--"
Louis bites his collarbone, and Liam twitches, voice trailing off. With a sigh, Louis pulls back until he can look Liam fully in the face. Liam's not quite looking him at him, a faint blush across his cheeks. An overwhelming rush of fondness hits Louis straight in the chest.
"I'm not mad at you." Liam finally looks at him, disbelief written across his face. "I-I wasn't mad at you, I was-" Louis sighs again. "This is going to sound stupid, but I was jealous."
Liam looks confused now.
It just falls out of Louis then, how he'd noticed that management was calling Liam more and more, Louis less and less. How they were treating Liam, having him handle stuff that Louis used to take care of and then so much more than those little things.
"So I was jealous," Louis admits again. "And I acted like a total tit about the whole thing and the others just picked up on it and I'm really, really sorry."
Silence greets his apology and Louis lifts his chin to find Liam staring intently at him. He's about to apologize again when Liam says, "That's all it was?"
Louis frowns. "Isn't that enough?" He feels bad enough already, he's not sure he can take anything else to feel guilty about. Liam doesn't respond and Louis tilts his head, studying his friend. There's another flush of red on Liam's face again and Louis presses the back of his hand against a cheek. "Liam?"
Liam jerks his chin, like he's shaking off a thought, and dislodges Louis' hand. "No. Yes. Yes, that's enough. Of course, it is."
Louis gives him another once over then drops is head back down. They lie there, silent, for a few minutes before Louis mumbles, "I forgive you, too."
Liam's, "For what?" rumbles under Louis' cheek.
"For not calling, you arse.” Louis answers. He pokes a finger in Liam's side, eliciting a jerk. "You were sick and you should have called someone. Don't do it again." He pokes again, and Liam's hand wraps around his own.
"Geez, Lou, okay."
"Promise." Louis moves his hand and Liam's fingers tighten, even as he tells Louis what he wants to hear. There's silence after that, but it's a comfortable one.
After a while, he can feel Liam's breath start evening out and his own body relaxes. He's nearly asleep when Liam mumbles, "You need to make it right with Zayn, you know."
He will, Louis tells himself. As he slips into sleep though, he's not quite sure how.
><
Liam's words keep rolling around in Louis' head but he can't seem to find the right time to fix it. He's not really sure how to anyway. Zayn is basically avoiding him when they're in the same room and even Niall can't seem to help. Harry finally throws his hands up, shrugging his shoulders and declaring the lot of them a lost cause.
Louis is inclined to agree.
~
Three days later, they bring Liam home. Paul won't let any of them come to the hospital. They all protest profusely, but he's insistent. So they sit around for a while, waiting. An hour passes by and they all get a little restless. Niall can't keep still on the sofa and Harry wanders by Louis a dozen times or more, brushing a hand on his shoulder or his hand. Reassuring who, Louis isn't quite sure. At least, not until he looks up and sees the tension around Harry's eyes. With a small smile, Louis leans against his side.
Zayn glances at his watch for the millionth time, pulling the curtain back to look outside again, and Louis realizes they're being a bit ridiculous. Liam is fine. He opens his mouth to say as much when Zayn straightens up, shoulders pulling back.
"They're here."
The shift in the room is instant. Harry pulls away, headed for the door. Niall half-shouts something unintelligible, excitement evident. Louis doesn't move.
Zayn doesn't either, still looking out the window. He says it again, They're here, and there's a strange undertone in the words, Louis can feel it, see it when Zayn turns away from the window and their eyes meet.
This is stupid, Louis thinks.
They're whole again and this is so stupid.
The thought must show because something shifts on Zayn's face, loosens.
"Louis-"
"I'm sorry." Louis cuts him off. He can hear Harry and Niall behind him, voices echoing with another, familiar one. "I was a complete asshole and I'm sorry."
Zayn shakes his head, pressing his lips together. His gaze goes over Louis' shoulder and then a moment later, he meets Louis' eyes again. "You're such a shit, Louis. I swear."
"I know," Louis grins. "Wouldn't have me any other way, yeah?"
"Of course not," a voice answers behind him. Louis finally turns to find Liam's smiling at him, tangled up with Harry and Niall in the doorway. There's something like pride in his eyes and Louis can't help the rush of warmth in his chest.
A hand wraps around his neck and Zayn pulls him into a one-armed hug. "Such a shit," he says again, in Louis' ear. His hand squeezes tight and Louis tucks his head into onto Zayn's shoulder. Liam's smile is wide and Louis knows there's a matching one on his own face.
"Awww, they made up," Harry coos, making kissy faces at the two of them. Louis flips him off and Zayn laughs.
It's a little bit perfect.
[x-posted here on 06/06/12 and here on 06/07/12]