DS9 FanFic, "Especially the Lies," 4/4

[prelocandkanar]

 
Title:       Especially the Lies
Author:   PrelocAndKanar
Series:  DS9
Part:       4/4
Rating:   R
Codes:   G/m almost; G/f, G/B implied, AU -- I think...

Summary: Garak tells a story of his childhood

Author's Note:  Thanks to Orson Scott Card and Kate DiCamillo, whose influences can be seen here.  Also, this story contains a respectful homage to Arkady

Comments

[treia24]

(^___^) That was lovely! Sad but sweet, with just the right amount of fluff at the end.

[prelocandkanar]

Thanks! I appreciate that you have the patience for something different, with so little of the familiar G/B interaction. The ending -- fluffy, yes. I'm not sure if I couldn't have nailed it better. But, maybe a bit of fluff is OK. At least I have a couple of deaths to off-set it, and lower the hyper-glycemic index. ;)

[treia24]

I'm totally fine with the tiny bit fluff here, even though usually I'm not a fan of fluff with this pairing. It's so hard to pull it off without either of them getting OOC. They really aren't fluffy guys. *shakes head*
However, this worked great. They're both in character, and in a fluff-allowing context.

[jdr1184]

The truth is my favorite kind of lie.

I kept thinking of this as Garak was telling his story, because I really wasn't sure if it was the truth or not. I could just as easily see Garak kissing Parshim goodbye and leaving him to be tortured so his hands remained clean or walking away entirely and never having his goodbye. Or him saving Parshim initally and having Tain kill him later. In the end, I decided it didn't really matter. It was the idea of the story that matter because I was sure that the emotion was true even if the story was not. A very well rounded story that was gripping to read. I, of course, loved the ending, but by that point a little fluff was seriously needed. Great Job!

[prelocandkanar]

Thanks for this thought-provoking feedback! Garak really is a complex character, isn't he? It's sometimes hard to predict what he will do. I'm thrilled that you found that the emotion of the story rang true, and that it held your interest. I really appreciate this!

[jadeprince]

I initially hesitated to read this because handling Garak's past in a fic is difficult and dangerous. However, after the first part, I found I couldn't stop reading. The story you(he) told was engaging and felt real. And the relationship with Pashim was developed so organically. And their goodbye definitely made me choke up. Pashim's character was well written and developed and though he could have been a badly inserted original character, instead he felt real and true to the universe and believable.

The end did feel a little abrupt, but I'm not sure it should be changed? I think I was still mourning Pashim and Bashir's entry into the story seemed a little startling. I'm glad though that you addressed that Bashir was not a replacement for Pashim, that they were different people and occupied different parts of Garak's life.

Hmm. All in all, an enjoyable read! I hope to see more from you. :)

[prelocandkanar]

Wow, thanks so much for this! I especially appreciate it because of your initial reluctance. You know, sometimes it's hard to tell what's working and what isn't... even with the help of a beta, who may be kind in the interests of encouragement. I felt more uncertain about this fic than the others I've posted here so far, so your response really means a lot to me!

[lilyoftheval5]

I also hesitated when I saw it's about Garak's past, but I hesitated because I was a chicken and was afraid I'd not be able to read it through. I jumped a scene or two in the end, I admit.

However, that doesn't change the fact that the story is very poignant. I can see Garak in that young being, and still am not overwhelmed with the portrait of him I have in my head.
Thank you.

[prelocandkanar]

Thank you for reading this despite your hesitation, and for having taken the time to comment.

May I ask... did you skip the scenes because they dragged and you got bored or impatient, or for other reasons? Were the scenes you skipped the Bashir stuff at the very end, or part of the Pashim story? Don't hesitate to be frank. If I end up re-working this, it would be useful to know.

And thanks also for your encouraging assessment!

[lilyoftheval5]

I believe you have already redone 'Especially the Lies', hopefully I'll be able to read it soon.
As for the 'scene-skippage' - I get too involved in the characters and then all the pain, embarrassment, etc. feels like it's happening to me. In those cases I just go with the instinctual drive 'avoid! avoid!'. *shrugs*

[prelocandkanar]

Yes, I did re-work it. I think the second version is an improvement, although it killed me to lose some of the stuff I liked in the first.

I totally understand about the avoidance instinct. Let me know if you ever get to the second version!

[nyssa23]

Here from doctor_tailor, and I have to say, after the intro you gave it there, I was hesitant to read! ^_~

However, I absolutely enjoyed it (in fact, I had to interrupt my reading during part 2 to run an errand and couldn't wait to get back to finish!) I agree that it is rather a bit wordier than Garak's usual in-canon stories, but I would argue that this means something in and of itself. After all, we are never so naked as when we tell another our secrets, and whether each word is true is less important than whether the feelings we describe are...or at least, I think so. ^_^

(Just for the record, I think it rings truer for Garak to have killed Pashim, and I imagine Bashir believes so as well, else he wouldn't have asked.)

[prelocandkanar]

Thanks so much for this! I guess my intro was kinda like posting a sign reading, "Keep away! Keep awaaaaayyyy!" That just proves you shouldn't post when you've got the blues!

I'm glad you enjoyed it -- and saying you "couldn't wait to get back to finish" is such high praise! Also, thanks for your take on the style. As long as it seems to work and didn't diminish from the story, I guess it turned out OK.

I really appreciate the feedback!