Primeval Fanfic - All in the Mind (part 4)
Sometimes Abby wished that she could tell people about what they did at the ARC; the look on Doctor McClean’s face had been priceless. She was slightly concerned that he’d turn the car around and have her sectioned, but once they’d arrived at the ARC she could see him starting to believe her.
“I think that’s the basics covered, but there’s a whole lot more I can tell you.” Abby said.
“I did think you were pulling my leg to begin with.” Doctor McClean said. “But this place ... it seems a lot of effort to go to if this is just a cover for something else.”
“I can assure you that this is not a cover.” Lester said, holding out his hand to shake the doctor’s. “Sir James Lester. I see Abby has already filled you in.”
“She has indeed. I have to say this is rather a unique case. You did give me the impression that Connor and Abby had been involved in some kind of top secret military mission, or chemical weapons testing. That’s what I usually deal with.”
The two men disappeared down the corridor, deep in conversation. Abby watched them and a tiny smile flickered across her face. Doctor McClean had a slight Scottish lilt in his voice when he spoke, and he reminded her a little of Cutter. She hoped that Connor would see it too; maybe he would find it easier to open up to someone who was like the man he admired so much. She recalled how he’d gone to Cutter’s grave the day after she’d hit her head.
She went about her usual routine; watering the plants in the lab, checking emails and then scanning the internet for “unusual sightings”. After the events of yesterday, the ARC seemed surprisingly calm. Jess was overseeing the repairs to the equipment that Connor had smashed, and Abby watched for a few minutes. She blinked away a stray tear as she thought about what she’d had to do to stop Connor; her emotions shifting from confusion, to hurt, to anger and back again.
After about an hour, she made her way down into the main ARC area. It felt like everyone was watching her; feeling sorry for her - Poor Abby Maitland, the girl with a crazed mad man for a boyfriend. Jess caught her eye and smiled.
“Hey Abby. Have you seen Connor today? How is he?”
“He was still sleeping. They had to sedate him quite heavily.” Abby replied. Jess nodded. “The doctor that’s going to treat him is here talking to Lester. He seems nice.”
“Ah, I wondered who that guy was. Lester called Becker in a few minutes ago, said something about CCTV footage.”
Abby wondered what on earth they would need CCTV footage for and glanced up at Lester’s office. His door was closed, which meant that he was not to be disturbed under any circumstances. She watched everyone going about their work and felt like she was stranger. Is this how it would be from now on without Connor around?
“Abby, you OK? “ Jess said, interrupting her thoughts. “You seem miles away.”
“Just thinking about Connor, that’s all.” She sighed.
“That’s understandable. It must be pretty hard on you too, all of this?”
“I love him. He’s done and said so many hurtful things recently, but I know it’s not him. He is a lovely guy really, Jess. You haven’t seen the real Connor yet, please don’t judge him on what you’ve seen so far.” Abby said.
“I know you wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t a good person, Abby.” Jess said, placing her arm around Abby’s shoulders. “Come on, you look exhausted. When did you last eat a decent meal?” Abby tried to think. Last night after she’d left Becker at the pub, she had just made herself some toast before going to bed. Jess was just about to suggest that they went out to get some breakfast when Dr McClean came out of Lester’s office.
“The hospital just paged me. Connor’s awake, and asking for you Abby.”
-o-
Abby had half expected to find Connor sitting up in bed smiling, so she was shocked to find him curled up and his eyes red from crying. “Hey.” She said, sitting on the bed beside him and leaning in to kiss his forehead.
“Where have you been?” he said angrily. “I keep telling them that I want to go home, but no-one will listen to me! You have to tell them I don’t belong here, Abby.”
“Connor, we talked about this yesterday. You’re ill and you need professional help now.” Abby squeezed his hand.
“I’m not ill!” he protested. “I’m just having trouble sleeping and its making me a bit irritable, that’s all. If they can give me something to help me sleep, then I can sort myself out.”
“That’s where I come in. Is it OK to call you Connor? I’m Dr McClean, but most of my patients call me Sam.” He sat next to Abby on the bed. “I work for the government, handling cases like yours. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together, you’ll be sick of the sight of me before too long!”
“Government?” Connor said.
“Yes, Lester’s approved him. Dr McClean knows all about what we do at the ARC, so you’re OK to talk to him about anything.” Abby said. “I’ll leave you two to go through your treatment, I’ll be just down....”
“Actually, Abby, I think you should stay. This affects you too. I’d like you to know exactly what we’re going to do.” Sam said.
“Thank you, I appreciate that. I want to help as much as possible.” Abby said.
“Well, the first priority is to get you feeling more like your old self and less like the world is against you. You have to remember that what you have is just the reaction of a normal human being to an abnormal situation, and that you’re not crazy in any way. I’ve been talking to Abby and to Lester, and viewed some CCTV footage of your behaviour to assess your needs. I’m putting together a prescription of drugs to help you, something that will help you sleep, something to handle the paranoia and something to keep you calm. It’ll need tweaking, and it might take us a couple of weeks to find the right combination, but we’ll get there and have you feeling ready to face the real world again.” Sam smiled at Connor and then at Abby.
“Then I can go home?” Connor asked.
“Yes. But that’s only the beginning of your treatment. The drugs will help with the symptoms, but to completely cure you, we need to tackle the causes. It could be a very long haul, and potentially difficult for both of you, but we need to delve right into your head and find out what it is that’s making you act so out of character.”
Connor began to sob. “Thank you.” he said.
“It’s my job. Now, I’d like a quick word with Abby in private, and then I’ll leave the two of you alone for a while whilst I go and sort out your medication with the nursing staff. I’ll come and see you later and explain what each tablet is for.” Sam stood up and indicated for Abby to follow him outside.
“I thought I should just warn you that you have a long journey ahead of you too. Connor may say things that hurt, and you have to be prepared for that. His problems could stem from something in his distant past, or it could be something more recent. It could be connected to your experiences trapped in the past, or even anxiety about your relationship. Were you two an item before you were trapped?”
“No, we were ... it’s complicated. Oh god! This is all my fault isn’t it?” Abby said.
“Please don’t think that, Abby. But that’s what I mean about this being difficult for you too. You will feel like you’re to blame at times, and he’s likely to use you as a verbal punching bag once he starts opening up. Do you have someone you can lean on for support too? You’re going to need a friend other than Connor to get you through this.” Sam smiled at her.
Abby thought about the conversation she had had with Becker - “You and Connor aren’t alone now, you know. You could have come to any of us.” He’d said. She had become so reliant on Connor during their year away that she had forgotten that she did have other people in her life that cared. Maybe, just maybe, she could bring herself to talk to Becker when things got tough. He’d known the real Connor, and that would make things easier. “Yes, I think I have someone I can talk to.” She replied.
“Good, and you can always talk to me. If there’s anything you’re not sure about, please don’t hesitate to call me.” Sam handed Abby a small card with his mobile number on. “Now, you go and spend some time with him. I’ll give you an hour’s privacy before I come back and go through his medication with you both.”
“Thank you. For everything.” Abby said quietly, and watched as the doctor strode down the corridor. She felt very confident in him. She would have her Connor back soon.
-o-
“Are you ready?” Abby said. It had taken almost five weeks, but finally Sam felt Connor was ready to go home.
Connor sat on the edge of the bed and swallowed nervously. “I don’t know, Abby.” He looked up at her; his big chocolate brown eyes resembling those of a puppy that didn’t want to be left alone.
Abby sat next to him and held his hand, tangling her fingers into his. Over the last couple of weeks she had seen glimpses of the old Connor returning, laughing, smiling, joking ... but there was still something hidden inside. “If you really think you can’t do this, then I’ll call Sam and tell him you’re going to stay for a couple more days. No-one’s forcing you to do anything that you don’t want to do.”
“No. I want to go home, but I’m scared. What if I lose it again? I might really hurt someone this time.” He bit his bottom lip and blinked back a stray tear threatening to trickle down his cheek.
“You’re never going to be as bad as that again, Conn. You’re getting it under control, and Sam’s given me a few ideas to help you as well.” Abby smiled.
“Not the yoga?!” Connor protested, then grinned.
“It could help you relax a little.” She said. “There’s a beginners class at the same time as the one I go to... or maybe I could show you a few techniques?”
“Now watching you I could cope with!” he laughed, earning him a playful slap from Abby. He took a deep breath and said “Take me home, Abby, before I change my mind.”
Abby stood up and picked up his holdall. “Come on. I thought we’d stop for a pizza on the way.”
-o-
Pizza eaten, Abby went into the kitchen to make some coffee. As she waited for the kettle to boil, she listened to the sounds coming from the lounge. It made her happy, it felt like home again. The excited grunts of Sid and Nancy, and the happy chirruping from Rex were punctuated by another sound that made her heart skip a beat - the sound of Connor’s laughter. She had missed it so much.
Unable to resist, she edged closer to the slightly open door to watch them secretly. Connor was laid on his back on the floor, with Sid and Nancy crawling all over him like playful kittens, and Rex sitting on his chest looking directly at him. Maybe it would be the simple things like this that would get him through the difficult times.
Sam had warned her not to be deceived by what she saw on the outside. The medication had helped enormously; making him feel able to face the world again, but he was still a long way from being cured. Whatever Connor was keeping bottled up was still there inside, and it could take months; maybe even years, to come out.
The kettle came to the boil and clicked itself off. The sound made Connor look up and he realised Abby was watching him. His cheeks flushed pink and he smiled sheepishly at her. She smiled back and turned away to make the drink.
She had Connor back, and she knew as long as they had each other; whatever life chose to throw at them, they would get through it together.
“I think that’s the basics covered, but there’s a whole lot more I can tell you.” Abby said.
“I did think you were pulling my leg to begin with.” Doctor McClean said. “But this place ... it seems a lot of effort to go to if this is just a cover for something else.”
“I can assure you that this is not a cover.” Lester said, holding out his hand to shake the doctor’s. “Sir James Lester. I see Abby has already filled you in.”
“She has indeed. I have to say this is rather a unique case. You did give me the impression that Connor and Abby had been involved in some kind of top secret military mission, or chemical weapons testing. That’s what I usually deal with.”
The two men disappeared down the corridor, deep in conversation. Abby watched them and a tiny smile flickered across her face. Doctor McClean had a slight Scottish lilt in his voice when he spoke, and he reminded her a little of Cutter. She hoped that Connor would see it too; maybe he would find it easier to open up to someone who was like the man he admired so much. She recalled how he’d gone to Cutter’s grave the day after she’d hit her head.
She went about her usual routine; watering the plants in the lab, checking emails and then scanning the internet for “unusual sightings”. After the events of yesterday, the ARC seemed surprisingly calm. Jess was overseeing the repairs to the equipment that Connor had smashed, and Abby watched for a few minutes. She blinked away a stray tear as she thought about what she’d had to do to stop Connor; her emotions shifting from confusion, to hurt, to anger and back again.
After about an hour, she made her way down into the main ARC area. It felt like everyone was watching her; feeling sorry for her - Poor Abby Maitland, the girl with a crazed mad man for a boyfriend. Jess caught her eye and smiled.
“Hey Abby. Have you seen Connor today? How is he?”
“He was still sleeping. They had to sedate him quite heavily.” Abby replied. Jess nodded. “The doctor that’s going to treat him is here talking to Lester. He seems nice.”
“Ah, I wondered who that guy was. Lester called Becker in a few minutes ago, said something about CCTV footage.”
Abby wondered what on earth they would need CCTV footage for and glanced up at Lester’s office. His door was closed, which meant that he was not to be disturbed under any circumstances. She watched everyone going about their work and felt like she was stranger. Is this how it would be from now on without Connor around?
“Abby, you OK? “ Jess said, interrupting her thoughts. “You seem miles away.”
“Just thinking about Connor, that’s all.” She sighed.
“That’s understandable. It must be pretty hard on you too, all of this?”
“I love him. He’s done and said so many hurtful things recently, but I know it’s not him. He is a lovely guy really, Jess. You haven’t seen the real Connor yet, please don’t judge him on what you’ve seen so far.” Abby said.
“I know you wouldn’t be with him if he wasn’t a good person, Abby.” Jess said, placing her arm around Abby’s shoulders. “Come on, you look exhausted. When did you last eat a decent meal?” Abby tried to think. Last night after she’d left Becker at the pub, she had just made herself some toast before going to bed. Jess was just about to suggest that they went out to get some breakfast when Dr McClean came out of Lester’s office.
“The hospital just paged me. Connor’s awake, and asking for you Abby.”
-o-
Abby had half expected to find Connor sitting up in bed smiling, so she was shocked to find him curled up and his eyes red from crying. “Hey.” She said, sitting on the bed beside him and leaning in to kiss his forehead.
“Where have you been?” he said angrily. “I keep telling them that I want to go home, but no-one will listen to me! You have to tell them I don’t belong here, Abby.”
“Connor, we talked about this yesterday. You’re ill and you need professional help now.” Abby squeezed his hand.
“I’m not ill!” he protested. “I’m just having trouble sleeping and its making me a bit irritable, that’s all. If they can give me something to help me sleep, then I can sort myself out.”
“That’s where I come in. Is it OK to call you Connor? I’m Dr McClean, but most of my patients call me Sam.” He sat next to Abby on the bed. “I work for the government, handling cases like yours. We’re going to be spending a lot of time together, you’ll be sick of the sight of me before too long!”
“Government?” Connor said.
“Yes, Lester’s approved him. Dr McClean knows all about what we do at the ARC, so you’re OK to talk to him about anything.” Abby said. “I’ll leave you two to go through your treatment, I’ll be just down....”
“Actually, Abby, I think you should stay. This affects you too. I’d like you to know exactly what we’re going to do.” Sam said.
“Thank you, I appreciate that. I want to help as much as possible.” Abby said.
“Well, the first priority is to get you feeling more like your old self and less like the world is against you. You have to remember that what you have is just the reaction of a normal human being to an abnormal situation, and that you’re not crazy in any way. I’ve been talking to Abby and to Lester, and viewed some CCTV footage of your behaviour to assess your needs. I’m putting together a prescription of drugs to help you, something that will help you sleep, something to handle the paranoia and something to keep you calm. It’ll need tweaking, and it might take us a couple of weeks to find the right combination, but we’ll get there and have you feeling ready to face the real world again.” Sam smiled at Connor and then at Abby.
“Then I can go home?” Connor asked.
“Yes. But that’s only the beginning of your treatment. The drugs will help with the symptoms, but to completely cure you, we need to tackle the causes. It could be a very long haul, and potentially difficult for both of you, but we need to delve right into your head and find out what it is that’s making you act so out of character.”
Connor began to sob. “Thank you.” he said.
“It’s my job. Now, I’d like a quick word with Abby in private, and then I’ll leave the two of you alone for a while whilst I go and sort out your medication with the nursing staff. I’ll come and see you later and explain what each tablet is for.” Sam stood up and indicated for Abby to follow him outside.
“I thought I should just warn you that you have a long journey ahead of you too. Connor may say things that hurt, and you have to be prepared for that. His problems could stem from something in his distant past, or it could be something more recent. It could be connected to your experiences trapped in the past, or even anxiety about your relationship. Were you two an item before you were trapped?”
“No, we were ... it’s complicated. Oh god! This is all my fault isn’t it?” Abby said.
“Please don’t think that, Abby. But that’s what I mean about this being difficult for you too. You will feel like you’re to blame at times, and he’s likely to use you as a verbal punching bag once he starts opening up. Do you have someone you can lean on for support too? You’re going to need a friend other than Connor to get you through this.” Sam smiled at her.
Abby thought about the conversation she had had with Becker - “You and Connor aren’t alone now, you know. You could have come to any of us.” He’d said. She had become so reliant on Connor during their year away that she had forgotten that she did have other people in her life that cared. Maybe, just maybe, she could bring herself to talk to Becker when things got tough. He’d known the real Connor, and that would make things easier. “Yes, I think I have someone I can talk to.” She replied.
“Good, and you can always talk to me. If there’s anything you’re not sure about, please don’t hesitate to call me.” Sam handed Abby a small card with his mobile number on. “Now, you go and spend some time with him. I’ll give you an hour’s privacy before I come back and go through his medication with you both.”
“Thank you. For everything.” Abby said quietly, and watched as the doctor strode down the corridor. She felt very confident in him. She would have her Connor back soon.
-o-
“Are you ready?” Abby said. It had taken almost five weeks, but finally Sam felt Connor was ready to go home.
Connor sat on the edge of the bed and swallowed nervously. “I don’t know, Abby.” He looked up at her; his big chocolate brown eyes resembling those of a puppy that didn’t want to be left alone.
Abby sat next to him and held his hand, tangling her fingers into his. Over the last couple of weeks she had seen glimpses of the old Connor returning, laughing, smiling, joking ... but there was still something hidden inside. “If you really think you can’t do this, then I’ll call Sam and tell him you’re going to stay for a couple more days. No-one’s forcing you to do anything that you don’t want to do.”
“No. I want to go home, but I’m scared. What if I lose it again? I might really hurt someone this time.” He bit his bottom lip and blinked back a stray tear threatening to trickle down his cheek.
“You’re never going to be as bad as that again, Conn. You’re getting it under control, and Sam’s given me a few ideas to help you as well.” Abby smiled.
“Not the yoga?!” Connor protested, then grinned.
“It could help you relax a little.” She said. “There’s a beginners class at the same time as the one I go to... or maybe I could show you a few techniques?”
“Now watching you I could cope with!” he laughed, earning him a playful slap from Abby. He took a deep breath and said “Take me home, Abby, before I change my mind.”
Abby stood up and picked up his holdall. “Come on. I thought we’d stop for a pizza on the way.”
-o-
Pizza eaten, Abby went into the kitchen to make some coffee. As she waited for the kettle to boil, she listened to the sounds coming from the lounge. It made her happy, it felt like home again. The excited grunts of Sid and Nancy, and the happy chirruping from Rex were punctuated by another sound that made her heart skip a beat - the sound of Connor’s laughter. She had missed it so much.
Unable to resist, she edged closer to the slightly open door to watch them secretly. Connor was laid on his back on the floor, with Sid and Nancy crawling all over him like playful kittens, and Rex sitting on his chest looking directly at him. Maybe it would be the simple things like this that would get him through the difficult times.
Sam had warned her not to be deceived by what she saw on the outside. The medication had helped enormously; making him feel able to face the world again, but he was still a long way from being cured. Whatever Connor was keeping bottled up was still there inside, and it could take months; maybe even years, to come out.
The kettle came to the boil and clicked itself off. The sound made Connor look up and he realised Abby was watching him. His cheeks flushed pink and he smiled sheepishly at her. She smiled back and turned away to make the drink.
She had Connor back, and she knew as long as they had each other; whatever life chose to throw at them, they would get through it together.