Comments | pregnant: Preschoolers and pregnant bellies

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Preschoolers and pregnant bellies

May 28, 2012 16:54

My just turned 3 year old (when did that happen???) is very, enthusiastic, about playing with mom. Up til now, things seemed to be rather well tucked inside, but at 28 weeks it turned into a beach ball belly. I'm up to 5 kick/head butts/knees/sitting too hard on events today, starting with an over enthusiastic hug when he informed me the sun was ( Read more... )

siblings

Comments 6

hallucinas May 28 2012, 22:20:42 UTC

Montessori teacher here.
You need to be very firm and consistent. Instead of explaining to him why, you can try saying, very firmly, "ow! I don't like it when you (kick/headbutt/etc) me! I need you to stop." At this age explanations and too many words don't really help.
If you are asking him to be gentle, make sure you practice gentle interactions, as if rehearsing a skit. "Let's try a gentle hug." Practice several times over several days and make sure the language and actions are positive and consistent.
Maybe make up a funny dance or song or movement to do together when he feels excited, instead of striking you. Practice this too.

Hope this is helpful. 3 year old boys are some of my favorite people, directing their energy positively is usually effective and the results can be very fun! Let me know if you'd like any clarification.

belle_marmotte May 30 2012, 11:47:29 UTC

THIS!
Kids love to role play, so it would be a good time to also introduce practice interactions in preparation for his sibling's arrival too.

Remember to give lots and lots of positive reinforcement to his desirable behaviours.
(developmental psychologist here!)

skye_blue May 29 2012, 00:03:44 UTC

i went to a friend's family picnic and some little brat run in to my belly as hard as he could. he was 4. i had the wind knock out of me and needed to grab at something to get my balance. no one came to see if i was ok. i told the boy he cant run in to preggo ladies like me and the mom came running and screamed at me and said he was JUST a little boy..ok lady...a little boy you aint watching while you get drunk...

anyhow i have also fallen flat on my belly and nose while like 9 months. it hurts. i think it has to be alot to cause damage. but the little boy in to me felt like if it was any harder i would of had my water broken or whatever..

ask ur ob if ur that worried... many a mama need kicked, stabbed by a little one's arm, elbow, knee ect while preggo and did ok.. u have some pating there for things like this...it hurts badly though..

killrwhale May 29 2012, 00:38:25 UTC

Did I write this? Does my son have a double in your care? I totally hear you, I don't really have any advice. I try to be consistent. I'm having a scheduled c-section in 1 month and I'm more worried about the aggressive hugs while I'm recovering.

youfilthycad May 29 2012, 04:03:28 UTC

My son is 6 and still has a tendency to come running at me out of nowhere for hugs or plopping his giant rock of a skull down in my stomach when I'm laying down. I just keep reminding him, and when able, try to block him. You could probably double check with your practitioner, but I imagine it takes a pretty harsh blow to do any real damage. (Doesn't make it hurt any less, though!) I'd just keep reminding him to be careful with you, and making sure you're expressing that it hurts. It almost might even be a good idea to try to explain that being rough with everyone isn't okay right now, since it could be confusing that it's okay for him to treat daddy in a certain way, but not you.

I'm only 24 weeks, so I'm hoping once I'm bigger my son will remember more. As it is, I get him asking me questions every so often. "Is the baby here yet?" "Is the baby still in your stomach?" >.<

silver_tiamat May 29 2012, 20:30:04 UTC

I agree with what most people have written about how to manage the energy of your son, especially talking more about the baby as a thing that needs only gentle touches (if you have had to work with him before about Pet Etiquette, this translates really well over to babies). But, to also put some of your anxiety out of your mind, I spent some time talking with my midwife about the how much damage the belly can take before it injures the baby, and the answer across the board is the same: As long as your amniotic sack is intact, your uterus can handle anything that wouldn't cause you internal damage without being pregnant. So, if you weren't in danger of bleeding internally from your son's hugs before, your baby and you will be fine even if he forgets from time to time about how he's supposed to act with the new belly. But, I would definitely not say this a reason to not keep up the lessons on being more gentle, because the baby won't always be protected inside your belly. You definitely won't want him hitting you full force like that ( ... )