Baby Shower Blues.

Jan 26, 2012 20:54

This post is probably going to make me sound like a whiny bitch, but I don't really care ( Read more... )

baby showers, rants

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Comments 104

gf_girlie January 27 2012, 04:07:35 UTC
You can take the stuff back and buy the things you need.

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laniiolana January 27 2012, 05:11:44 UTC
This.
That's exactly what I was gonna say.
Go through everything and separate it into "keep" and "take back" piles.
You could even ask the people that got the stuff you didnt ask for (or dont need) where they got it, so you can make sure to take it back to the same place.
But act happy about it when you ask. They'll never know.

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jellybeener January 27 2012, 12:43:34 UTC
exactly!
don't sweat it OP.

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cathygurly January 27 2012, 04:10:14 UTC
I'm sorry you are feeling as if you aren't getting what you registered for. I know I registered at a place that would accept items back for store credit, if I returned them with no receipt. Is that an option?
People really do love to buy clothing and items that are cute, without really thinking about 'Is this what they really need?' because they are spending their money, and really - they are allowed to spend it any way they want. I know I got a ton of newborn clothing items for my son and he was born 10+lbs - so none of those were really feasible. I took most of them back and got store credit to buy diapers and such.
Try to enjoy your day, and enjoy the cute things people buy. And if it's feasible - return them. They are only buying you things out of the goodness of their own hearts - can't really tell them to buy you specific things if they have already looked at your registry and decided to buy something else.

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unboundvoice January 27 2012, 04:10:56 UTC
Ok, I honestly don't see why this is a problem. First, take everything you don't NEED off the registry. People will buy clothes/toys but they don't need to be registered for. Second, quit looking at your registry. Especially if it's stressing you out. It's also not uncommon for people to wait til the last minute to buy gifts. Last, just return what you get that you don't want/need for something that you do. This happens all the time. People aren't as likely to buy an expensive breast pump or stroller so you return what you can in order to buy the pricier/more needed items. Just try to enjoy your shower and stop stressing about gifts. You are very lucky to have 50 people in your life who are willing to throw/attend a party in honor of you and your baby.

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nafrate January 27 2012, 04:18:08 UTC
All of this.

OP, the thing that stuck out to me in your post was "...and my partner cannot afford to pay the bills himself and have to buy all of these things all the time." I get that money is tight, but people are allowed to choose whatever gift they want for you. It's the parents' responsibility to cover "the essentials." The silly clothes and toys and keepsake albums and stuff, they're gifts, enjoy the spirit they're given in and return things if they don't work out.

If you can't afford diapers, try looking at cloth - it's a one-time investment rather than a high ongoing cost.

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dottedcircles January 27 2012, 08:56:24 UTC
I was going to suggest cloth diapers too. They're amazing!

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thetimetocry January 27 2012, 04:11:37 UTC
I know that a lot, A LOT of people buy gifts either last minute (so just before the shower on the day of), or the day before. I also know that a lot of people also buy gift cards because it's just easier. I'm Guilty.

I kind of felt like you when we got married. You always hear about people getting all these extravagant gifts and we got $25 gifts or lower end items from almost everyone including our closest family members.

Unfortunately, when we choose to have a baby (or get married), the real responsibility is on us to provide (for ourselves, or) for the child and ANYTHING you receive is better than nothing.

My only advice is to show up and act gracefully and be grateful for what you do get. Times are tough for everyone but you never know people might surprise you. And just so you know, occasionally people buy things off your registry and for whatever reason it doesn't get marked off.

I wish you lots of luck and hope you get everything you need!

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cat_e_uh January 27 2012, 04:17:23 UTC
50 (people) > 14 (presents)
Chances are, some of your guests that did not buy off of the registry will still buy you diapers and wipes and- the best- gift cards! And, like the previous commenter mentioned, you can always exchange the things what you get for what you want. The crib bedding stuff = amount that can go towards diapers!

Try to remember that these people are generous enough to buy you and your baby something! They may not be the things you need but they are likely well-intentioned, THOUGHTFUL gifts. Also, it's nice to get the help, but it's no one else's responsibility.

Try to relax and enjoy your party-- babies need very little and there's no reason to worry beforehand anyways.

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stargazer20 January 27 2012, 10:44:02 UTC
I agree with this - I have 50 items on my registery and no one bought a thing! But I do know a few close family members are getting us gift cards because they want us to be the one to choose.

try to not stress out. Be happy that you have that many people attending your shower! I am sure it will all turn out great

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