Comments | pregnant: Scared crapless..

miranda_baby in pregnant

Scared crapless..

Sep 18, 2009 19:55

Ok so I made the move almost 3 weeks ago.. I moved away from my financially challenged boyfriend (& he broke up with me like a week before that - we have a WINNA!)

( uncertainty this way )

single parenting, money, legal issues

Comments 20

paperdollyburnd September 19 2009, 00:35:35 UTC

Courts usually side with the mother. It would take you being unfit period (not in comparison with him) for them to not let you have the baby. If anything, his being more financially wealthy will make a better case for you to need child support.

I'm not saying they wouldn't give partial custody or visitations, but I highly doubt you'd lose your baby as long as you are able to take care of yourself.

jbnljohnson September 19 2009, 00:55:48 UTC

agree with this 100%

I went through all this mess and all they did was set up a visitation schedule for my son and his "father". (I say "father" cause he's just a sperm donor and my husband ended up adopting him anyways).

(The comment has been removed)

miranda_baby September 19 2009, 01:26:56 UTC

Thanks for the link.. I will definitely check it out!

megatons September 19 2009, 10:50:34 UTC

hmm i'm in orange park..is that group just for orlando residents?

megatons September 19 2009, 10:51:08 UTC

hmm i see that it is..do you happen to know if there is one for like the jacksonville area (i say that because it's the biggest city next to me). :/

wtmommy September 19 2009, 01:05:06 UTC

Does he have money for a lawyer for a custody case? I would hold off on worrying about legal fees until necessary. In most states when you have a child while single, you have sole custody until otherwise ordered by a court. Even if he signs the affidavit of paternity, he doesn't get rights automatically. Family court is easily done without a lawyer if there is not a custody battle. Things like child support, custody, and parenting time are usually worked out with a mediator. If you can't agree then you see a judge.

Also, have you looked into any legal aid? Perhaps that could be possible if he were to sue you for custody?

miranda_baby September 19 2009, 01:30:46 UTC

I know he doesn't have the money for another lawyer fee, on top of his current case with the almost ex-wife. I would LOVE to find some sort of mediation as opposed to an actual lawyer. As it stands I have no problem sharing Nico with him.

I have attempted to call legal aid but they have limited hours. I think they are open in the morning so I will try to call back.

Thanks for the information!

wtmommy September 19 2009, 01:34:35 UTC

I would suggest getting in contact with your local family court and asking them if they have any sort of family handbook. They have one for each county in Michigan. They outline the general role of the family court, their general rules for child support, visitation, etc. It is really helpful and is a "default" used by the family court system to make judgments. Plus, if you follow their guidelines, when in question of "the right thing to do" you can never go wrong if you consult their handbook,

These are things I wish I had been told. I hope you find some of it helpful. I wish you the best of luck!

sourblowpop19 September 19 2009, 02:45:04 UTC

I agree with a lot that has been said already. I can tell you that I don't work, am not planning on working and instead going to school full time. My lawyer said that it is fine. They won't try to take the baby away (or they can try but won't get far).

Also, about the lawyer fee. I don't know if it depends on the state but he could be liable to pay for 50-100% of your legal fees. I know my ex will be responsible for at least 50, maybe more since he has a job and I don't.

zombriii September 19 2009, 02:48:34 UTC

Oh, when you apply for an assistance they make you cooperate with Florida Child Support Enforcement, and it's FREE FOR YOU, he will however have to pay the state back.

No, just because he makes more does not mean he more fit. I've been a SAHM for the last 13 months so I have 0 income and my son's father is DEFINITELY not more fit because he works. They're not going to take your baby just because he makes more.

http://dor.myflorida.com/dor/childsupport/apply.html

You can also opt to have a "resource mom" with Florida Healthy Families. They are able to point you toward support services in your area.

http://www.healthyfamiliesfla.org/families.html

miranda_baby September 19 2009, 11:47:56 UTC

Thank you for the links! I will be looking through them today...

ladyinred667 September 28 2009, 06:36:02 UTC

Oh, when you apply for an assistance they make you cooperate with Florida Child Support Enforcement,

This, but I don't think they have anything to do with custody. When my ex-husband and I separated, CSE in Maine set the child support amount based on both of our salaries.