Fic: Lullaby (2a/3)
Title: Lullaby
Rating: PG-13 for this chapter, R later
Warnings: mpreg, naughty words, lots o' angst, blood and medical situations later on
Spoilers: Blanket spoilers
Word Count: <10,000 total
Summary: "So…you don’t want to have kids?” he asked and Kurt frowned at him curiously. "Well it's a little early to be thinking about that, don't you think?" Kurt gave an amused laugh at the end and Blaine felt like his world has stopped spinning.
Or, in which Blaine finds himself pregnant and telling Kurt might be harder than he thought. Also, things go terribly wrong.
A/N: Mpreg isn't normally my thing. I don't usually read it and I never thought I would actually write it. But I read a few over the past week, and one thing stuck out at me. When Kurt or Blaine tell the other, things are usually sunshine and rainbows and kittens and they're so happy to be having a baby. The angst writer in me wanted to explore the possibility that maybe they wouldn't react in the perfect boyfriend way. I wanted to explore what would happen if Blaine discovered Kurt didn't like kids and how he would deal with that news.
This was supposed to be a short one-shot...but my muse would not shut herself up and I ended up following the entire pregnancy. So this one-shot will now be posted in three parts. The title is from the OneRepublic song of the same name.
Part one here
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It was the week before Christmas vacation and everyone knew that Blaine wasn’t speaking to Kurt. Not that he hadn’t tried. Blaine tried valiantly to come up with some way to explain to Kurt, but like every time before he found himself freezing up whenever Kurt came near. Kurt looked beyond distressed, leaving apologetic notes in Blaine’s locker and trying to catch him alone anytime he could, but Blaine would just fall silent and eventually Kurt would accept defeat and leave, tears shining in his eyes.
By the end of the week it was obvious Kurt had enlisted Finn to help him out and Blaine found himself confronted by Kurt’s brother after school on his way to his car.
“Hey wait up,” Finn called and Blaine stopped, looking at Finn impassively. Finn jogged the few steps to Blaine and then shuffled his feet, looking slightly nervous. Blaine sighed impatiently.
“Yes Finn?”
Finn opened and closed his mouth a few times before actually speaking. “Kurt asked me to come talk to you.”
“I figured,” Blaine said and made to open his car door, hoping to indicate to Finn that he didn’t really want to talk.
“He’s really upset you know,” Finn said and Blaine thought he looked like an hopeful puppy, trying to make everyone happy but not really knowing how. “He didn’t mean what he said. I mean, yeah he obsesses about his own appearance but he doesn’t really care if you’ve gained weight.”
Blaine rolled his eyes, wanting to leave. So now everyone had noticed? Great. He might as well start wearing a shirt that said bun in the oven and maybe everyone would be satisfied.
“Thanks Finn,” Blaine said, dripping sarcasm. “Nice chatting with you.”
He started to get in the car and Finn laid a hand on Blaine’s shoulder, dropping it quickly when Blaine looked at him questioning.
“Wait,” Finn sounded half desperate and Blaine wondered what Kurt threatened him with for this talk. “I’m not the best with relationships but I know that what you’re doing to Kurt isn’t cool. If he hurt your feelings he’s really sorry, but you can’t let a stupid comment ruin what you guys have.”
Blaine studied Finn’s face. The intense look in Finn’s eyes moved something inside Blaine and he felt something fall into place. Or out of place, it was getting hard to tell anymore. There was a long pause and Finn looked ready to leave when Blaine finally broke the silence.
“Finn…can I ask you something?” Blaine’s palms started sweating as Finn nodded.
“Yeah man, anything.”
“When…” Blaine took a deep breath. “When you found out about Quinn, being pregnant…what did it feel like?”
Finn looked surprised by the question but his brow furrowed thoughtfully. “It felt like everything was changed, you know? Like nothing made sense anymore.”
Blaine’s face fell. This was what he was worried about.
“Oh.”
“But…” Finn continued and Blaine looked back at him, “but I still loved her. Until, you know, I found out it was Puck’s, I knew I would do anything for her. That we were in it together.”
Blaine suddenly felt his throat grow tight and he swallowed back the tears that were threatening to betray him. Stupid fucking hormones making him so emotional.
“What’s going on Blaine?” Finn asked and Blaine looked at his feet.
“What do you think Kurt would have done…if he had been in your place? With Quinn?”
Finn paused, confused. “Kurt’s gay, Blaine.”
“Thanks for the news flash,” Blaine responded and tried to look at Finn earnestly. “Just hypothetically.”
Finn thought about it and shrugged. “I don’t know. Kurt’s so, in control of everything, he’d probably freak.”
A tear escaped Blaine’s eye and he quickly wiped it away, hoping Finn didn’t see. He did.
“Is something wrong Blaine?” Finn rested a hand on Blaine’s shoulder again, an awkward attempt at comfort. And before Blaine could stop himself he felt the words tumble from his lips in a rush.
And that was how Finn found out about Blaine’s pregnancy before Kurt.
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Blaine had no idea how much of an friend Finn would prove to be. It had taken awhile to explain to Finn that yes, men could get pregnant, and yes it was extremely rare, and yes he and Kurt had had sex (that was probably the most awkward moment of Blaine’s life and he hoped to never repeat it again). But after Finn had understood the full weight of what was happening he had pulled Blaine into a hug that felt awkward, but nice. It was nice to have someone who was supportive and understood, at least in a way, what he was going through.
The hardest part had been to get Finn to agree not to tell Kurt. Blaine had emphasized that when Kurt found out, it should only be Blaine to tell him. Finn had been torn between the loyalty to his brother and wanting to respect Blaine’s wishes, but in the end he had agreed with Blaine. He knew what it felt like to have this news dropped on him and he couldn’t imagine if he heard about it from someone else.
But he needed to tell Kurt. Finn had been insistent on that. The baby was as much Kurt’s as it was Blaine’s and it wasn’t fair to keep this from him. However Kurt would react, he needed to know. And Blaine knew it was true. He was two weeks into the second trimester and while he wasn’t huge yet, he knew soon it would be hard to hide. He just needed to find the right moment. To properly prepare himself to tell Kurt.
He chose Christmas day. Probably not the wisest choice in hindsight, but since when had anything Blaine done gone as he planned? He still hadn’t spoken to Kurt, but after his chat with Finn, he had reassured Kurt that Blaine just needed a little time. And it seemed to help. Kurt’s heartbroken glances and scribbled apologies turned into encouraging smiles and lingering looks. Blaine tried to return them as best he could and their silence suddenly became less stifling and more patient. Kurt knew there was something more to this than an offhand comment about weight and was willing to wait for Blaine to feel comfortable.
On Christmas Eve Blaine stared at his phone, a blank message to Kurt taunting him. Finally he typed out his message, pressing send after only a brief hesitation. Kurt responded almost immediately.
Blaine [8:52] Hey. Merry Christmas.
Kurt [8:53] Merry Christmas
Kurt [8:53] I miss you
Blaine [8:53] I miss you too. Can we talk?
Kurt [8:54] Of course. I was worried you would never ask
Blaine [8:57] Sorry
Kurt [8:57] Don’t be sorry. It’s all my fault
Blaine [8:59] I’m not mad at you. When are you free?
Kurt [8:59] Tomorrow? I know it’s Christmas but I would like to see you
Blaine [9:00] Tomorrow is great :)
Kurt [9:00] I got you a present
Blaine [9:00] Do I get a hint? ;)
Kurt [9:00] No, it’s a surprise!
Blaine [9:03] I have a surprise for you too
Kurt [9:03] Can’t wait xo
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Blaine showed up at the Hudmel residence around five. It had taken awhile to get away from his family, and after stressing about what to wear (nothing was fitting right anymore but he didn’t think sweatshirts were really that appropriate for Christmas) he finally found himself standing on the front porch in an ugly red cardigan, feeling oddly calm.
Carole answered the door and welcomed Blaine in with a hug and a smile. The house smelled warmly of cinnamon and apple pie and Christmas. The feeling of home enveloped him like a blanket and Blaine felt himself relaxing, and part of him wishing he wasn’t about the mess all of this up. But he was here and he couldn’t back out now.
There was a loud pounding and Kurt had bolted down the stairs, coming to an abrupt pause when he saw Blaine. Blaine smiled at him warmly and Kurt let out a breath he had obviously been holding in.
“Hey,” Blaine said, feeling slightly shy and Kurt rushed forward, wrapping Blaine in a tight hug. Blaine was aware of his stomach pressing slightly into Kurt’s but right now he couldn’t bring himself to care. He buried his face in Kurt’s neck, breathing in the scent of his boyfriend, and for a moment everything seemed right. There were soft footsteps as Carole snuck away and Blaine let out a relieved laugh. He had missed Kurt so much.
“Merry Christmas,” Blaine said into Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt laughed back.
“Merry Christmas Blaine,” Kurt said back and after a moment they drew apart. Kurt’s eyes were misted over. “I’m so sorry for what I said…”
His words were cut off as Blaine pressed a finger to Kurt’s lips and shook his head. Kurt nodded, understanding that they would talk about this later. He looked down at the manila envelope Blaine had in his hand, a red bow stuck tackily on the corner.
“Is that my surprise?” Kurt asked and Blaine nodded, holding it behind his back.
“Not yet,” he said and Kurt pulled his lips into a pout.
“Apple cider boys?” Carole’s voice drifted into the room and they accepted their steaming mugs gratefully, plodding up to Kurt’s room with the promise that they wouldn’t spill. Outside Kurt’s door Blaine caught sight of Finn who had stuck his head out of his room at the noise. He sent Blaine an encouraging smile, his eyes full of understanding and Blaine took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. He could do this. He’d waited long enough.
Their conversation started off easy, Kurt eagerly showing him the manicure set Carole had gotten him and the gift card Burt had bought him (because he had no idea what Kurt would want and figured he’d be better getting it himself). Blaine had responded to everything enthusiastically and suddenly it felt like nothing had been wrong in the first place.
“Do you want your gift?” Kurt asked timidly, their conversation winding down and he seemed nervous again. Like he wasn’t really sure where their relationship actually stood. Blaine nodded and sat on the edge of Kurt’s bed.
“Ok,” Kurt clasped his hands in excitement and he darted into his closet. “It has two parts. Open this one first.”
He handed Blaine a perfectly wrapped square. Blaine turned it over in his hands and slid his fingers under the creases to loosen the tape, not wanting to ruin Kurt’s perfect wrapping. At first Blaine thought Kurt had gotten him a bunch of notecards on an old notecard stand, but as he flipped through, he realized instead of notecards, Kurt had put together a collection of photos, tickets, quotes, memories of their past year. Every page was decorated with glitter and sequences and ribbon and Blaine couldn’t help but smile. It was just so Kurt.
“I’ve been working on it forever,” Kurt emphasized the last word, smiling widely. Blaine looked at him, heart swelling.
“Thank you,” Blaine said, biting his lip. “This is wonderful.” Kurt bounced slightly, obviously happy at Blaine’s reaction.
“Ok so this,” he motioned to the notecard stand, “is for memories in the past and this,” he handed Blaine the next wrapped box “is for everything to come.”
Blaine unwrapped the next gift, revealing an equally as bedazzled photo album. There were no pictures in it. Kurt had written their names inside a glittery heart on the front cover.
“You know, in case we get into separate schools or something,” Blaine turned the photo album over in his hands, wondering if Kurt would still want this filled after today. “Something we can look back on when we’re old and decrepit.”
Blaine’s smile wavered as his nerves began to take over.
“Thank you Kurt,” he said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips as honestly as he could. Who knew when they would kiss again? Kurt smiled at the kiss, obviously feeling reassured.
“So…” Kurt said when they broke apart, eyeing the manila envelope. Blaine’s hands shook as he lifted it from the bed, extending it towards Kurt. There was no going back now. Kurt took the envelope and raised an eyebrow at Blaine who was suddenly having trouble breathing correctly. Sweat was beading on his forehead and he gripped the blankets beneath him tightly.
Kurt carefully took off the red bow, sticking it to his pillow, and ripped open the top, pulling out the glossy photo. He made a face as he studied the picture, eyebrows drawing together as his brow furrowed.
“Blaine…this is an ultrasound,” Kurt’s voice lifted with confusion. Blaine nodded, mouth suddenly dry. Kurt let out a short laugh, cocking his head to the side.
“Is someone pregnant?”
Blaine nodded again. His heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest.
“I don’t get it,” Kurt said, honestly trying to figure out why this was his Christmas present. “Who’s pregnant? Finn jerking off in hot tubs again?”
He gave a humorless chuckle and Blaine just looked at him, trying to get his vocal cords to cooperate.
“Blaine?” Kurt rested a hand on Blaine’s knee, starting to look concerned.
“I am.” Blaine’s words were met with silence. “I’m pregnant.”
“Come on, Blaine,” Kurt said, giving Blaine’s knee a squeeze. “Quit joking.”
Blaine felt his emotions gripping hold of him, his breaths grew faster and his eyes began to well with tears. Kurt’s eyes moved from the picture in his hands to Blaine.
“But, you’re a guy” Kurt said as if Blaine had forgotten and reminding him would bring him to his senses. Blaine looked down at his hands clasped tightly in his lap.
“I’m a carrier, Kurt.”
Silence as the words sunk in.
“Ohmygod,” the words came out of Kurt in a rush. “But we…you never…you’ve always been on top.” Kurt’s words were whispered. Blaine shook his head.
“There was that one night, back in September…” he looked at Kurt, hopeful for some sort of support, understanding. He was met with a look of horror.
“September?” Kurt repeated and Blaine nodded. Kurt was suddenly on his feet. “How long have you known?”
Blaine wrung his hands together, feeling three inches tall.
“How long, Blaine?”
“November fifteenth,” Blaine responded quietly, blinking back his tears.
“Shit,” Kurt ran his fingers through his hair. Kurt never swore. Something broke inside of Blaine, Kurt was taking this as bad as he feared. “That’s over a month. Why…why didn’t you tell me?”
Tears escaped Blaine’s eyes, something that had been happening all too often lately.
“I was scared…of how you would react.”
Kurt was pacing, like he didn’t know what to do with himself. This was all going so much worse than Blaine had hoped.
“How far along are you?” Kurt’s voice was oddly calm but his eyes were shining and Blaine wanted to curl into a ball and die.
“Fourteen weeks,” Blaine answered, voice wavering. Kurt pressed his palms into his eyes.
“It makes sense,” he said, realization dawning on his face. “You being sick, missing school, how you reacted to my comment. It makes sense.”
“I’m sorry, Kurt,” was all Blaine managed to say, voice thick. “I’m so sorry.”
Kurt’s eyes moved down from Blaine’s face to his stomach, where Blaine knew it would be obvious through his cardigan if you knew. He folded his arms across the slight bulge.
“I just…why didn’t you tell me?” Kurt sounded hurt now and Blaine felt guilt welling up inside him. “Jesus Blaine, you should have told me.”
“I’m sorry,” Blaine felt like he was on repeat. Kurt stared and there was a sudden look of realization on his face.
“Did Finn know?” Kurt asked. Blaine nodded slowly.
“You told my brother before me?” Kurt’s voice rose and Blaine flinched. “You told my brother and now you drop it on me that you’re…you’re fucking pregnant?”
Blaine didn’t know what to say so he just stared at his feet.
“I think you should leave,” Kurt’s words cut into Blaine. His eyes felt hot as a fresh wave of tears filled them, spilling onto his cheeks.
“Kurt…”
“Please Blaine, I need…I need you to go. I need to think,” Kurt was no longer looking at him. Blaine stood, not really sure what else to do. He stopped at the door, looking back at Kurt, hoping for a brief moment that he would change his mind, call Blaine back and hold him and tell him everything would be all right. He didn’t.
“This is why I didn’t tell you, Kurt,” Blaine said, knowing his words were low but not really caring anymore. “I didn’t want you to react like this.”
With that he left.
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Part 2b
Rating: PG-13 for this chapter, R later
Warnings: mpreg, naughty words, lots o' angst, blood and medical situations later on
Spoilers: Blanket spoilers
Word Count: <10,000 total
Summary: "So…you don’t want to have kids?” he asked and Kurt frowned at him curiously. "Well it's a little early to be thinking about that, don't you think?" Kurt gave an amused laugh at the end and Blaine felt like his world has stopped spinning.
Or, in which Blaine finds himself pregnant and telling Kurt might be harder than he thought. Also, things go terribly wrong.
A/N: Mpreg isn't normally my thing. I don't usually read it and I never thought I would actually write it. But I read a few over the past week, and one thing stuck out at me. When Kurt or Blaine tell the other, things are usually sunshine and rainbows and kittens and they're so happy to be having a baby. The angst writer in me wanted to explore the possibility that maybe they wouldn't react in the perfect boyfriend way. I wanted to explore what would happen if Blaine discovered Kurt didn't like kids and how he would deal with that news.
This was supposed to be a short one-shot...but my muse would not shut herself up and I ended up following the entire pregnancy. So this one-shot will now be posted in three parts. The title is from the OneRepublic song of the same name.
Part one here
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It was the week before Christmas vacation and everyone knew that Blaine wasn’t speaking to Kurt. Not that he hadn’t tried. Blaine tried valiantly to come up with some way to explain to Kurt, but like every time before he found himself freezing up whenever Kurt came near. Kurt looked beyond distressed, leaving apologetic notes in Blaine’s locker and trying to catch him alone anytime he could, but Blaine would just fall silent and eventually Kurt would accept defeat and leave, tears shining in his eyes.
By the end of the week it was obvious Kurt had enlisted Finn to help him out and Blaine found himself confronted by Kurt’s brother after school on his way to his car.
“Hey wait up,” Finn called and Blaine stopped, looking at Finn impassively. Finn jogged the few steps to Blaine and then shuffled his feet, looking slightly nervous. Blaine sighed impatiently.
“Yes Finn?”
Finn opened and closed his mouth a few times before actually speaking. “Kurt asked me to come talk to you.”
“I figured,” Blaine said and made to open his car door, hoping to indicate to Finn that he didn’t really want to talk.
“He’s really upset you know,” Finn said and Blaine thought he looked like an hopeful puppy, trying to make everyone happy but not really knowing how. “He didn’t mean what he said. I mean, yeah he obsesses about his own appearance but he doesn’t really care if you’ve gained weight.”
Blaine rolled his eyes, wanting to leave. So now everyone had noticed? Great. He might as well start wearing a shirt that said bun in the oven and maybe everyone would be satisfied.
“Thanks Finn,” Blaine said, dripping sarcasm. “Nice chatting with you.”
He started to get in the car and Finn laid a hand on Blaine’s shoulder, dropping it quickly when Blaine looked at him questioning.
“Wait,” Finn sounded half desperate and Blaine wondered what Kurt threatened him with for this talk. “I’m not the best with relationships but I know that what you’re doing to Kurt isn’t cool. If he hurt your feelings he’s really sorry, but you can’t let a stupid comment ruin what you guys have.”
Blaine studied Finn’s face. The intense look in Finn’s eyes moved something inside Blaine and he felt something fall into place. Or out of place, it was getting hard to tell anymore. There was a long pause and Finn looked ready to leave when Blaine finally broke the silence.
“Finn…can I ask you something?” Blaine’s palms started sweating as Finn nodded.
“Yeah man, anything.”
“When…” Blaine took a deep breath. “When you found out about Quinn, being pregnant…what did it feel like?”
Finn looked surprised by the question but his brow furrowed thoughtfully. “It felt like everything was changed, you know? Like nothing made sense anymore.”
Blaine’s face fell. This was what he was worried about.
“Oh.”
“But…” Finn continued and Blaine looked back at him, “but I still loved her. Until, you know, I found out it was Puck’s, I knew I would do anything for her. That we were in it together.”
Blaine suddenly felt his throat grow tight and he swallowed back the tears that were threatening to betray him. Stupid fucking hormones making him so emotional.
“What’s going on Blaine?” Finn asked and Blaine looked at his feet.
“What do you think Kurt would have done…if he had been in your place? With Quinn?”
Finn paused, confused. “Kurt’s gay, Blaine.”
“Thanks for the news flash,” Blaine responded and tried to look at Finn earnestly. “Just hypothetically.”
Finn thought about it and shrugged. “I don’t know. Kurt’s so, in control of everything, he’d probably freak.”
A tear escaped Blaine’s eye and he quickly wiped it away, hoping Finn didn’t see. He did.
“Is something wrong Blaine?” Finn rested a hand on Blaine’s shoulder again, an awkward attempt at comfort. And before Blaine could stop himself he felt the words tumble from his lips in a rush.
And that was how Finn found out about Blaine’s pregnancy before Kurt.
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Blaine had no idea how much of an friend Finn would prove to be. It had taken awhile to explain to Finn that yes, men could get pregnant, and yes it was extremely rare, and yes he and Kurt had had sex (that was probably the most awkward moment of Blaine’s life and he hoped to never repeat it again). But after Finn had understood the full weight of what was happening he had pulled Blaine into a hug that felt awkward, but nice. It was nice to have someone who was supportive and understood, at least in a way, what he was going through.
The hardest part had been to get Finn to agree not to tell Kurt. Blaine had emphasized that when Kurt found out, it should only be Blaine to tell him. Finn had been torn between the loyalty to his brother and wanting to respect Blaine’s wishes, but in the end he had agreed with Blaine. He knew what it felt like to have this news dropped on him and he couldn’t imagine if he heard about it from someone else.
But he needed to tell Kurt. Finn had been insistent on that. The baby was as much Kurt’s as it was Blaine’s and it wasn’t fair to keep this from him. However Kurt would react, he needed to know. And Blaine knew it was true. He was two weeks into the second trimester and while he wasn’t huge yet, he knew soon it would be hard to hide. He just needed to find the right moment. To properly prepare himself to tell Kurt.
He chose Christmas day. Probably not the wisest choice in hindsight, but since when had anything Blaine done gone as he planned? He still hadn’t spoken to Kurt, but after his chat with Finn, he had reassured Kurt that Blaine just needed a little time. And it seemed to help. Kurt’s heartbroken glances and scribbled apologies turned into encouraging smiles and lingering looks. Blaine tried to return them as best he could and their silence suddenly became less stifling and more patient. Kurt knew there was something more to this than an offhand comment about weight and was willing to wait for Blaine to feel comfortable.
On Christmas Eve Blaine stared at his phone, a blank message to Kurt taunting him. Finally he typed out his message, pressing send after only a brief hesitation. Kurt responded almost immediately.
Blaine [8:52] Hey. Merry Christmas.
Kurt [8:53] Merry Christmas
Kurt [8:53] I miss you
Blaine [8:53] I miss you too. Can we talk?
Kurt [8:54] Of course. I was worried you would never ask
Blaine [8:57] Sorry
Kurt [8:57] Don’t be sorry. It’s all my fault
Blaine [8:59] I’m not mad at you. When are you free?
Kurt [8:59] Tomorrow? I know it’s Christmas but I would like to see you
Blaine [9:00] Tomorrow is great :)
Kurt [9:00] I got you a present
Blaine [9:00] Do I get a hint? ;)
Kurt [9:00] No, it’s a surprise!
Blaine [9:03] I have a surprise for you too
Kurt [9:03] Can’t wait xo
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Blaine showed up at the Hudmel residence around five. It had taken awhile to get away from his family, and after stressing about what to wear (nothing was fitting right anymore but he didn’t think sweatshirts were really that appropriate for Christmas) he finally found himself standing on the front porch in an ugly red cardigan, feeling oddly calm.
Carole answered the door and welcomed Blaine in with a hug and a smile. The house smelled warmly of cinnamon and apple pie and Christmas. The feeling of home enveloped him like a blanket and Blaine felt himself relaxing, and part of him wishing he wasn’t about the mess all of this up. But he was here and he couldn’t back out now.
There was a loud pounding and Kurt had bolted down the stairs, coming to an abrupt pause when he saw Blaine. Blaine smiled at him warmly and Kurt let out a breath he had obviously been holding in.
“Hey,” Blaine said, feeling slightly shy and Kurt rushed forward, wrapping Blaine in a tight hug. Blaine was aware of his stomach pressing slightly into Kurt’s but right now he couldn’t bring himself to care. He buried his face in Kurt’s neck, breathing in the scent of his boyfriend, and for a moment everything seemed right. There were soft footsteps as Carole snuck away and Blaine let out a relieved laugh. He had missed Kurt so much.
“Merry Christmas,” Blaine said into Kurt’s shoulder and Kurt laughed back.
“Merry Christmas Blaine,” Kurt said back and after a moment they drew apart. Kurt’s eyes were misted over. “I’m so sorry for what I said…”
His words were cut off as Blaine pressed a finger to Kurt’s lips and shook his head. Kurt nodded, understanding that they would talk about this later. He looked down at the manila envelope Blaine had in his hand, a red bow stuck tackily on the corner.
“Is that my surprise?” Kurt asked and Blaine nodded, holding it behind his back.
“Not yet,” he said and Kurt pulled his lips into a pout.
“Apple cider boys?” Carole’s voice drifted into the room and they accepted their steaming mugs gratefully, plodding up to Kurt’s room with the promise that they wouldn’t spill. Outside Kurt’s door Blaine caught sight of Finn who had stuck his head out of his room at the noise. He sent Blaine an encouraging smile, his eyes full of understanding and Blaine took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. He could do this. He’d waited long enough.
Their conversation started off easy, Kurt eagerly showing him the manicure set Carole had gotten him and the gift card Burt had bought him (because he had no idea what Kurt would want and figured he’d be better getting it himself). Blaine had responded to everything enthusiastically and suddenly it felt like nothing had been wrong in the first place.
“Do you want your gift?” Kurt asked timidly, their conversation winding down and he seemed nervous again. Like he wasn’t really sure where their relationship actually stood. Blaine nodded and sat on the edge of Kurt’s bed.
“Ok,” Kurt clasped his hands in excitement and he darted into his closet. “It has two parts. Open this one first.”
He handed Blaine a perfectly wrapped square. Blaine turned it over in his hands and slid his fingers under the creases to loosen the tape, not wanting to ruin Kurt’s perfect wrapping. At first Blaine thought Kurt had gotten him a bunch of notecards on an old notecard stand, but as he flipped through, he realized instead of notecards, Kurt had put together a collection of photos, tickets, quotes, memories of their past year. Every page was decorated with glitter and sequences and ribbon and Blaine couldn’t help but smile. It was just so Kurt.
“I’ve been working on it forever,” Kurt emphasized the last word, smiling widely. Blaine looked at him, heart swelling.
“Thank you,” Blaine said, biting his lip. “This is wonderful.” Kurt bounced slightly, obviously happy at Blaine’s reaction.
“Ok so this,” he motioned to the notecard stand, “is for memories in the past and this,” he handed Blaine the next wrapped box “is for everything to come.”
Blaine unwrapped the next gift, revealing an equally as bedazzled photo album. There were no pictures in it. Kurt had written their names inside a glittery heart on the front cover.
“You know, in case we get into separate schools or something,” Blaine turned the photo album over in his hands, wondering if Kurt would still want this filled after today. “Something we can look back on when we’re old and decrepit.”
Blaine’s smile wavered as his nerves began to take over.
“Thank you Kurt,” he said, leaning over and pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips as honestly as he could. Who knew when they would kiss again? Kurt smiled at the kiss, obviously feeling reassured.
“So…” Kurt said when they broke apart, eyeing the manila envelope. Blaine’s hands shook as he lifted it from the bed, extending it towards Kurt. There was no going back now. Kurt took the envelope and raised an eyebrow at Blaine who was suddenly having trouble breathing correctly. Sweat was beading on his forehead and he gripped the blankets beneath him tightly.
Kurt carefully took off the red bow, sticking it to his pillow, and ripped open the top, pulling out the glossy photo. He made a face as he studied the picture, eyebrows drawing together as his brow furrowed.
“Blaine…this is an ultrasound,” Kurt’s voice lifted with confusion. Blaine nodded, mouth suddenly dry. Kurt let out a short laugh, cocking his head to the side.
“Is someone pregnant?”
Blaine nodded again. His heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest.
“I don’t get it,” Kurt said, honestly trying to figure out why this was his Christmas present. “Who’s pregnant? Finn jerking off in hot tubs again?”
He gave a humorless chuckle and Blaine just looked at him, trying to get his vocal cords to cooperate.
“Blaine?” Kurt rested a hand on Blaine’s knee, starting to look concerned.
“I am.” Blaine’s words were met with silence. “I’m pregnant.”
“Come on, Blaine,” Kurt said, giving Blaine’s knee a squeeze. “Quit joking.”
Blaine felt his emotions gripping hold of him, his breaths grew faster and his eyes began to well with tears. Kurt’s eyes moved from the picture in his hands to Blaine.
“But, you’re a guy” Kurt said as if Blaine had forgotten and reminding him would bring him to his senses. Blaine looked down at his hands clasped tightly in his lap.
“I’m a carrier, Kurt.”
Silence as the words sunk in.
“Ohmygod,” the words came out of Kurt in a rush. “But we…you never…you’ve always been on top.” Kurt’s words were whispered. Blaine shook his head.
“There was that one night, back in September…” he looked at Kurt, hopeful for some sort of support, understanding. He was met with a look of horror.
“September?” Kurt repeated and Blaine nodded. Kurt was suddenly on his feet. “How long have you known?”
Blaine wrung his hands together, feeling three inches tall.
“How long, Blaine?”
“November fifteenth,” Blaine responded quietly, blinking back his tears.
“Shit,” Kurt ran his fingers through his hair. Kurt never swore. Something broke inside of Blaine, Kurt was taking this as bad as he feared. “That’s over a month. Why…why didn’t you tell me?”
Tears escaped Blaine’s eyes, something that had been happening all too often lately.
“I was scared…of how you would react.”
Kurt was pacing, like he didn’t know what to do with himself. This was all going so much worse than Blaine had hoped.
“How far along are you?” Kurt’s voice was oddly calm but his eyes were shining and Blaine wanted to curl into a ball and die.
“Fourteen weeks,” Blaine answered, voice wavering. Kurt pressed his palms into his eyes.
“It makes sense,” he said, realization dawning on his face. “You being sick, missing school, how you reacted to my comment. It makes sense.”
“I’m sorry, Kurt,” was all Blaine managed to say, voice thick. “I’m so sorry.”
Kurt’s eyes moved down from Blaine’s face to his stomach, where Blaine knew it would be obvious through his cardigan if you knew. He folded his arms across the slight bulge.
“I just…why didn’t you tell me?” Kurt sounded hurt now and Blaine felt guilt welling up inside him. “Jesus Blaine, you should have told me.”
“I’m sorry,” Blaine felt like he was on repeat. Kurt stared and there was a sudden look of realization on his face.
“Did Finn know?” Kurt asked. Blaine nodded slowly.
“You told my brother before me?” Kurt’s voice rose and Blaine flinched. “You told my brother and now you drop it on me that you’re…you’re fucking pregnant?”
Blaine didn’t know what to say so he just stared at his feet.
“I think you should leave,” Kurt’s words cut into Blaine. His eyes felt hot as a fresh wave of tears filled them, spilling onto his cheeks.
“Kurt…”
“Please Blaine, I need…I need you to go. I need to think,” Kurt was no longer looking at him. Blaine stood, not really sure what else to do. He stopped at the door, looking back at Kurt, hoping for a brief moment that he would change his mind, call Blaine back and hold him and tell him everything would be all right. He didn’t.
“This is why I didn’t tell you, Kurt,” Blaine said, knowing his words were low but not really caring anymore. “I didn’t want you to react like this.”
With that he left.
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Part 2b