(Untitled)

[pragmatic_chimp]

Comments

[lilacsigil]

I really like the way Mystique is growing up here, recognising both her own privilege and the ways in which she was kept "tame and small". I particularly liked that it was not framed as a romance, but as a coming of age anyway - something which a lot of female characters don't get.

[pragmatic_chimp]

Thanks so much for the feedback.

This is basically exactly what I was trying to do, so I'm glad it came through.

[scribble_myname]

Awesome start here (I hope it's just the start). It's intriguing and full of the very real gap between who she was and who she will be. It kind of hurts too.

"intimate her" in 3rd to last paragraph should probably be "intimidate her"

[pragmatic_chimp]

Yep, just a start - I just added two new chapters, point of fact.

Thanks for the feedback.

Correcting the typo directly - thanks for the help. XD

[scribble_myname]

I've got this comm on alert. Just finished both of those ten minutes ago. :grins: Loved the real glimpse into Azazel. Methinks I'm going to like him much, much. Well said about Emma. Hated Erik's whole condescension bit. Not your writing, just his attitude. Well done.

[pragmatic_chimp]

Thanks.

Glad you think I got Emma right - was worried about writing her correctly.

I feel like Erik would def. be a real condescending prick to anyone who disagreed with him (see how he wrote Charles off in a heartbeat during the beach scene) or even just questioned his judgement.