[video]

[forthetwinkies]

[The video turns on, and the image shakes a bit as Tallahassee readjusts its positioning. Finally, he settles back and waves.]Hey there. Gettin' kinda chilly 'round here, but y'know, a little cold never hurt nobody too much. Anyway, I'm Tallahassee - yup, like the city and nope, you're not gettin' anything different outta me - and I'm here with a

Comments

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[zombiefree]

Are you seriously putting out a hit-man advertizement right now? And saying you'll work for Twinkies?

audio;;

[forthetwinkies]

Hey, if you want in, I'm not splittin 50-50 'cause this was my idea.

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[zombiefree]

I'm okay with not being in on that; I'd rather not have everyone on this thing think I'm a mass murderer or something. Yikes.

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[forthetwinkies]

Sheesh, don't get your panties in a twist, Kansas. I'm being useful, s'what it is. Gotta have someone to do the dirty work around here, and I'm bein' a real boy scout by volunteerin'.

By the way, any sign of the other two?

[bluetarded]

Zombies? Oh no. We have zombies on the ship?

[forthetwinkies]

Hell if I know; I don't go lookin' for them. But if we do, you know who to call.

[bluetarded]

I hope we don't have zombies. I don't think that'd be very fun. [Nevermind the fact that there haven't been any yet or that he's covered in body armour but hey.] But don't worry, I will call Kmart if I see any.

[forthetwinkies]

[There's a brief pause. Tal's voice is dripping - no, salivating with sarcasm.]

You are just one little special snowflake, aren't you?

audio

[forthetwinkies]

That's what I thought.

audio

[forthetwinkies]

Wow, low blow there, buddy. If I gotta upgrade, I gotta upgrade, but until then, I'm stickin' with this one 'cause it works. Can't even count the number of times it's saved my ass.

And don't even ask me where I got it. Long story short, I don't remember.

[Audio]

[hates_deadites]

Hey, you're lucky there aren't any undead here, or I would have put you out of a day job already.

...That a Winchester 1892? Six shot with a standard lever loop and rounded barrel?

[Audio]

[forthetwinkies]

Oh really? Competition, huh? Well, I'll step up to the plate if that's how it's gonna be.

A-yup, a cut-down '92. Looks like you know your stuff.

[Audio]

[hates_deadites]

Got a sawed off double-barreled 12 gauge Remington with a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel and a hair trigger.

S-Mart's top of the line.

[Audio]

[forthetwinkies]

Oh, the...the...[he snaps his fingers as he tries to recall the exact model] talkin' about the Model 870, I'm guessin'? Never heard of S-Mart, but I used one for a bit. [--and threw it away when it ran out of ammo]

[Video]

[italia_di_pasta]

Ve ve! Hi! I'm Italy! [Thus greets the young man wearing only a shirt and boxers at the moment, whose expression perfectly fits that of a five year old attempting to make friends.] Are you American? You seem American! Can you lift trucks?

[Video]

[forthetwinkies]

[...well, he knows who's going first if there's ever a zombie apocalypse on this ship.]

What kinda dumb question is that? Americans make the fucking trucks, not lift them.

[Video]

[italia_di_pasta]

[Whatever gave it away.]

America can lift trucks, so it would make sense if all his citizens could... ve ve! Do you know how burgers are made? Do they cure sickness? [Stereotypes. He is an expert in them.]

[Video]

[forthetwinkies]

What are you--Look, I've never even met this "America" guy, but he sounds like a real dumbass if he wastes his time liftin' trucks and thinks burgers can be medicine.