Hosting Hours: Chapter 3
Chapter 3
“Oh my god, I’m going to die,” Junsu whined as he clamped Hongki desperately.
It was slightly past midnight and the club was running empty now. Yunho had just finished his story about what had happened, only one or two hours ago, to Junsu, Hongki and Yoochun when Junsu burst out in his hysterics.
“How’d you manage to get to that one?” Yoochun asked as he glanced amused at his dramatic friend.
“Because I told Yunho to stand up for himself! Jaejoong’ll think it’s all my fault!” Junsu cried, now grabbing Yoochun by the collar and shaking him furiously. “I don’t wanna die~”
“I’m pretty sure you’re not…” Hongki said as he tried to refrain Junsu from chocking his friend.
“I am! He told him to shut up. No-one tells Jaejoong to shut up. And, and… Oh my god, I can just imagine what he’s going to do…” he sighed desperately and flopped down on a chair. “My life. Is. Over…”
“I wonder what he’ll do to Yunho if he’s already going to kill you for simply suggesting things,” Hongki wondered out loud as he stroked his non-existent beard.
“Hm,” Yoochun said as he took the same philosopher-like pose as Hongki, eyeing Yunho as if he was a rare study object. “Yeah, he’ll probably rip his hair out set his clothes on fire and flush his shoes down the toilet.”
Yunho glared at Yoochun.
“He would, wouldn’t he,” Hongki agreed, nodding wisely. “Maybe burn his apartment down to the ground and blow up his car… do you have a car?”
“No I don’t and… can you please not,” Yunho tried.
“Or he’ll corner him in a dark alley with five big muscled men…” Yoochun proceeded, ignoring Yunho.
“Beat the crap out of him and tie him to a street lantern upside down,” Hongki said.
“And then cut off his penis!”
“Oh my god, can you at least pretend to help me,” Yunho exclaimed desperately.
Yoochun laughed as he swung his arm around Yunho. “Nah, don’t worry. Jaejoong has never been the violent type.”
“Nope,” Hongki added. “He likes his victims to suffer a slow mental breakdown into the deepest pits of emotional hell.”
Yunho tried to kick him from under the table when Junsu tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up irritated but noticed Junsu wasn’t looking at him. Instead, he was looking at…
Oh fuck, here it comes, Yunho thought as he saw Jaejoong walking towards him.
“I need to talk to you,” he said to Yunho, anger still clear in his voice. “Now!”
“Ooh~” Yoochun cooed, “I think someone’s going to ask you on a date.” Yoochun grinned broadly but it quickly faded as Jaejoong glared at him.
Yunho got up reluctantly and followed Jaejoong outside, not wanting to start any arguments inside with Changmin still around. He tried to ignore the faint whooping and supposedly supporting cheers that started again as he left the room.
As soon as they were outside Jaejoong turned around and faced Yunho, his anger clear on his face. “Apologize!” he commanded.
Yunho raised his eyebrow but decided against his rebel-like nature when he noticed some passers-by eyeing them curiously.
“Fine,” he replied folding his arms. “I’m sorry.” Somehow it didn’t sound as convincing as he originally meant it to be.
“Good, now kiss my shoes.”
Yunho laughed but it faded as he saw Jaejoong’s serious stare.
“Wait, you’re serious?”
“Dead serious, I want you to make sure you feel what you’ve done,” Jaejoong replied as he stuck his foot out.
Yunho just stared at the shiny black shoe.
“Ok, wait, I’m not going to do that,” he said firmly.
“Listen sweetheart,” Jaejoong hissed sarcastically as he stepped closer. “I’m sure going to make your life a living hell here if you don’t do as I say. Now, be a good boy and kiss my shoes!”
And then, finally, Yunho lost his temper. Before Jaejoong had comprehended what happened, he got pushed backwards forcefully. As he tried regain his balance Yunho slammed him against the wall and pinned his hands above his head. “What the…” he uttered as he tried to struggle loose.
“Listen pretty boy,” Yunho whispered, as he held back the other man effortlessly. “I’m only here to pay off my debt, not to get into any fights.” He blocked Jaejoong’s failed attempt to knee him and instead pressed his full body against the smaller man, making Jaejoong unable to do anything but ride against him desperately. “But if you keep up this behavior I will feel forced to show you what happens when people annoy me, and trust me…” Yunho whispered as he pressed his body even closer, ignoring the few odd stares some passers-by shot him. Jaejoong winced in pain as Yunho pressed his hands against the wall even more painfully, “you won’t like it.”
Then, as quickly as it happened, Yunho let go, only just preventing Jaejoong from falling to the ground. Jaejoong tried to say something as he struggled to regain his breath, looking positively furious now.
“Well, seems you’re a little out of breath,” Yunho smiled innocently. “Guess that means we’re finished talking then. If you don’t mind, I’ll leave first,” he nodded his head at Jaejoong and went back inside. He was a hundred percent sure he was going to regret this tomorrow, but right now Yunho couldn’t help but smile.
That’s 1-0 for me Jaejoong-shi~
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“I cannot fucking believe this guy!” Jaejoong yelled as he draped himself theatrically over the couch.
After last night, Jaejoong had found it difficult to sleep properly. And if there was something possibly more annoying than someone treating him like Yunho did, it was lack of sleep, especially if this was caused by the said person.
“Who the hell does he think he is?! The fuck! I’m Kim Jaejoong, the Kim Jaejoong, does he not realize that?!”
“If you are this annoyed why don’t you call Changmin and order to fire him,” Heechul said as he calmly flipped through a women’s magazine.
“You know I can’t do that,” Jaejoong sighed dramatically. “If I tell Changmin I want to get him fired he’ll think it’s because I feel like Yunho is competition. I’ll never get to hear the end of it…”
“So you consider him competition?” Heechul asked as he moved his gaze to the other page.
“Like hell I do!” Jaejoong yelled angrily throwing his arms over the armrest, “I’m pure awesomeness in essence. He’s just… he’s just… just gross,” he finished.
Heechul raised an eyebrow and looked up from his magazine. “Gross…”
“Yeah he’s just… he’s just so… so… you know… Aaaah!” Jaejoong pulled a couch pillow over his head and screamed in frustration.
“So I guess we have officially established Jung Yunho is intimidating, strong, well spoken, very dominant, positively sexy and above all, definitely competition,” Heechul said as he turned his eyes back to his magazine.
Jaejoong sighed and let his arms fall around him, the pillow still covering his head.
Heechul finished his magazine and started rummaging in one of the table drawers. “You know,” he said as he pulled out a nail file, “Siwon told me Changmin’s main purpose for hiring Yunho was to teach you a lesson,” Heechul inspected his already perfect nails and started filing one of them. “If you give up this soon you’re not only losing to Yunho, but also to Changmin. Wouldn’t that sort of make you a double loser?” Heechul looked over at the small patches of black hair that came from underneath the pillow. “Maybe a triple loser if you count losing your number one position.”
“Yah!” Jaejoong yelled as he threw the pillow in Heechuls direction, missing it by far. “Aren’t you supposed to make me feel better or something?!”
Heechul snorted, inspecting his nails some more. “If you want to hear how awesome you are you can just go to one of your customers!”
“Ah fuck this, I’ll just go drown in my misery by myself then,” Jaejoong yelled as he got up and stomped off to the door.
“However…” Heechul interrupted, “I might have an idea.”
Jaejoong turned around, not yet releasing the door.
“I’m listening…”
Heechul held out his hand in front of him and pretended to check the result. “You know what I want to hear~” he sing sang.
“No fucking way,” Jaejoong said as he walked through the door, slamming it shut behind him.
“Fine, see who’s upgraded to triple loser in a month’s time then,” Heechul yelled after him.
Jaejoong burst back into the room. “Fine,” he walked back to Heechul and kneeled in front of him. “This better be fucking worth it,” he mumbled where after he cleared his throat. “Oh Queen Heechul, embodiment of pure perfection, master of the universe and above all so much better than me, please, grand me the pleasure of revealing your supreme master plan,” Jaejoong bowed.
“And?” Heechul asked.
“And…” Jaejoong gave a sigh, “I will let you sleep in my bed while I sleep on the couch for the next three weeks. Now tell me!”
“Good boy,” Heechul said pleased as he gestured Jaejoong to sit down on the chair next to him.
“Now, first of all, when I saw Yunho for the first time I got this certain… vibe…” he started.
“You got a vibe…” Jaejoong just stared at him.
“Yes, a vibe. And when I get a vibe it usually means someone is gay, pregnant or possessed by a vengeful spirit.”
“What the fuck?”
“Shut up and listen! Seeming that Yunho lacks certain female parts necessary for pregnancy, and he’s not rolling over the floor screaming he wants to fuck Satan, I’m 99 percent sure he’s gay,” Heechul said.
“So…” Jaejoong proceeded, still not sure where this was going.
“So, when I was walking outside I heard Yoochun mentioning that Yunho seemed to have some… ah, how to put this… trouble keeping his eyes off of you when we entered.”
“Well, who doesn’t?” Jaejoong replied grinning broadly.
“Yah, stop being a pompous dick,” Heechul smacked him with the magazine. “It’s your position on the line here!”
“Fine, fine, fine,” Jaejoong replied as he rubbed his head.
“Now, seeming that Yunho is 99 percent surely gay and he had an obvious interest in you before you were being an ass”
“Hey, I was just showing him…” Heechul smacked him with the magazine again.
“And! … the fact that he is probably frustrated at having to be around women all the time, leaves me to one conclusion only!”
Jaejoong stared at him uncomprehendingly. “What… you want me to buy him porn or something? Because I don’t see how that’s going to…”
“Did you forget the part I mentioned him drooling all over you?!” Heechul smacked him once again.
“Hey, that kinda hurts you know. And… oh my god,” Jaejoong said shocked, eyes suddenly full of realization. “You want me to have sex with him?”
Heechul almost dropped off his chair. “What the hell, no! Seriously, how does your brain work? I want you to make him fall in love with you. Fall in love, for fucks sake! Not freaking sleep with him.”
“Oooh,” Jaejoong said as he smiled in relieve. “Yeah ok, but I’m still not sure how that’s going to keep him from stealing my position.”
Heechul rolled his eyes. “Look, it’s simple, if you make him fall in love with you, he will get jealous, and once he gets jealous, he’ll start doing stupid stuff, and you know what Changmin thinks about people doing stupid stuff inside his club…”
“Hmmm”, Jaejoong said thoughtfully. “I think I’m starting to see your plan here.”
“Finally! I was already fearing you were a lost cause. Now, listen up, here’s what you are going to do…”
A/N1: Yay, fast update ^^ Thanks everyone so much for all your comments! It’s really motivating, and makes me want to update even faster! (this is totally not a hint… nu-huh, not at all… 8D)
A/N2: Ok, I know it’s just lame to swoon over your own fic, but I absolutely adore the Heechul-Jaejoong combination in this chapter xD Especially Heechul… he wasn’t even supposed to have such a big role in the first place but oh well, guess he just sort of managed to sneak his way in somehow.