3161: Many Questions But Few Answers - Carrie Nancy

[pottersues]

Here is day thirty-three. Today's Disney character is Nancy, who is from the film Enchanted. She is Disney's only live action princess.

TITLE: Many Questions But Few Answers
PERPETRATOR: lin Kim
SUE-O-METER:

Comments

[beacon80]

Okay, she does have a line that mentions that it's important they be raised separately. Assuming she'll actually addresses this fact later on, why would Harry's sister be given to a random muggle family, rather than a wizarding family, like McGonagall suggested. None of Dumbledore's reasons on why Harry couldn't be raised by wizards would apply to her.

[yemi_hikari]

On top of what you've said I'm wondering if the writer actually does have a good reason for them to be raised separately.

[beacon80]

A reason? Maybe.
A good reason? Almost definitely not.

[yemi_hikari]

*sigh* I wish writers would avoid using Japanese in their fics unless they have a good reason too. Why is she calling the mother kaa-san if she calls her father papa? Even if he wasn't Japanese it wouldn't be wrong for him to be called "tou-chan" Not here that I'm also using the suffix "chan" and not "san" on the name. That's also off... it makes her feel way to distant from her parents.

I also worry about how much the plot will copy from the original and how much will be original. She seems to be doing better.

That said... while one of the other minions has reviewed the story, it was over a year ago so I am going to go ahead and review this one.

[indigoneutrino]

I remember this one, and I got one of the politest and most grateful responses from the writer I think I've ever received, which is the only reason I reviewed it twice. I was going to leave it because the story wasn't standing out to me particularly one way or the other, but she just seemed so pleased to have a review I felt she needed a bit of encouragement. Despite that, she never actually went and changed anything or wrote any more...

[yemi_hikari]

I don't think it's because she didn't want to change it or write anymore. I think life caught up to this one, like school and such. My fingers are crossed that she might eventually come back... particularly since I figured you had to have gotten a positive response back as you reviewed twice and I'd like to talk to her. Sadly though it seems a lot of the ones I hope respond never do.

[afleur_de_lis]

This story would be much better if the author had actually taken the time to have a build up period and fully introduced her character to us. I don't mean the name or anything like that, but her background story, her history and everything like that. She seems very unrealistic to the storyline she's been dumped into. I mean, she looks like she was just created to follow Harry around and that is it

[yemi_hikari]

On the last part... we get this a lot in the Anime fandoms as well from writers who are heavily influenced by Anime. I even used too much Japanese in my first Anime fic and an amazing reviewer who knew I was actually trying to have the right balance between the two kindly explained how to pick out which words to use.

[afleur_de_lis]

It makes sense if something is needed because it is related to the fandom. In the case of Anime (even if I don't watch it or like it much) I know that there are a lot of influences of Japanese culture that is seen within them. So the names and such, mannerisms and all that would all relate to that culture. However, too much of it written down in a story is rather excessive and begins to bog the story down

[yemi_hikari]

I've actually read novels translated from other languages and one of the rules I've seen is that there are words added in to help flavor the text. One of the things kept was in fact words that reflected mannerisms, kind of like how we use Mr. and Mrs. in our language, they kept the original. One of the contentions against using any words is because it is a story written in our language, but the problem with this is that the language they are speaking is another language. That also said, there are so many creative ways to show language without over doing it.