That sounds like the least romantic reasoning ever. So, Hermione "broke" and now she's in an intimate relationship with a girl who bullied her for years? Uhm… Can we say "unfortunate implications."
While I like having stories where a character mentally breaks, I like for it to be within reason. I don't see how work not going well equates a breaking point either. I'll also add that normally when a person breaks it doesn't last long unless there are tons of other things going wrong.
And yeah... the implications this fic has are rather unfortunate. Such implications aren't romantic either.
I think the Suethor just wanted to get Hermione and Pansy together but couldn't think of a good reason for it, so she just wrote it anyway and tacked on that thing about Hermione 'breaking' afterwards. To me, that's just really lazy writing and shows a lack of respect for the characters.
Particularly since you can use well written slice-of-life to slowly direct two characters towards liking each other. Suethor wanted to skip to the good stuff so to speak.
Of course Hermione has no other arguments. The Suethor will hardly be as smart as her. Actually, that's probably the biggest problem in writing Hermione, be it in fanfics or RPGs - the writers hardly ever match her intellect, and we get ridiculous "smart" remarks like this. Well, that and not understanding the concept of her character and why she is muggleborn and not drop dead gorgeous.
That's why they also use her as their wish fulfillment character more so then Pansy, Luna, Ginny ect. I'm not saying the Suethor's are stupid, but they want that level of intelligence that she has. Just because you self-insert yourself as Hermione doesn't make you smart like her. Instead you just end up making her a pale version of herself.
I fail to see a single thing in the sample that is related to Harry Potter in any way.
The writing is decent, if overly sappy, but I could see it working in certain circumstances. But why slap Hermione and Pansy's names on it and try to make it Harry Potter-related?
1. The writer has the false idea that when one writes fanfiction that the canon characters become theirs to do whatever they want and thus if they want a different personality it doesn't matter.
2. The writer is stuck in wish fulfillment land.
3. The writer can't see the characters as real people for the simple reason they are fictional, forgetting that in the actual they are real people.
Because they're using the characters for wish fulfillment, even if the versions of the characters they've written barely resemble their canon counterparts.
I agree though; a lot of fanfiction could be improved by just making it original fiction so that the characters aren't so horribly OOC, but the thing with original fiction is that it attracts fewer reviews, so people who write just because they want praise are more likely to write fanfic even if their ideas would work better in an original story.
This just means they get the "reviews aren't just for praise" lecture on top of the fact original fiction disguised as fanfiction will always just be original fiction.
I broke once. Yes, I did stupid things at that moment (exciting and dangerous stupid things, really) but having sex with my long time bully was never in my mind.
And how something as idiotic as putting back that statue is the sole reason of a breakdown? No sir/ma'am, they're called "breaks" because there's so much emotional weight pressuring over them they stop struggling, and fall to the ground. And they know they should keep going, because life waits for no one and, someday, the light at the end of the tunnel is going to appear before their eyes...but they don't have much hope. They just know they're alone in a deep, cold darkness, where nobody knows they're there or worse, don't care or even rejoice at that prospect.
What Hermoine had in this fic strikes me as a "Whaaa! I, like, need those shoes! If you don't buy them, I'm...having sex with her right now!"
The point of using a mental break in a story is to have the reader sympathize with the characters. Or if the character is a complete ditz which Hermione is not... have a good laugh. Or perhaps creep the readers out because somebody is on the fast track to being labeled a psychopath.
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And yeah... the implications this fic has are rather unfortunate. Such implications aren't romantic either.
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Well, that and not understanding the concept of her character and why she is muggleborn and not drop dead gorgeous.
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The writing is decent, if overly sappy, but I could see it working in certain circumstances. But why slap Hermione and Pansy's names on it and try to make it Harry Potter-related?
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2. The writer is stuck in wish fulfillment land.
3. The writer can't see the characters as real people for the simple reason they are fictional, forgetting that in the actual they are real people.
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I agree though; a lot of fanfiction could be improved by just making it original fiction so that the characters aren't so horribly OOC, but the thing with original fiction is that it attracts fewer reviews, so people who write just because they want praise are more likely to write fanfic even if their ideas would work better in an original story.
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And how something as idiotic as putting back that statue is the sole reason of a breakdown? No sir/ma'am, they're called "breaks" because there's so much emotional weight pressuring over them they stop struggling, and fall to the ground. And they know they should keep going, because life waits for no one and, someday, the light at the end of the tunnel is going to appear before their eyes...but they don't have much hope. They just know they're alone in a deep, cold darkness, where nobody knows they're there or worse, don't care or even rejoice at that prospect.
What Hermoine had in this fic strikes me as a "Whaaa! I, like, need those shoes! If you don't buy them, I'm...having sex with her right now!"
Pansy: (windowshopping on her own) ...What?
Hermione: Shut up and kiss me!
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