0222: Year 1 Jessica Kayes and the Lost Light - Jessica Kayes
From the genius known as silverhill:
THIS is MY post. It's only here for me. It's not supposed to be here for you. So if you don't like this post, don't read it. I only want you to tell me if you like this post. If you don't like it, then go away. This is MY post. It's how I want to write it. And I can do whatever I want. Lots of other people write posts that are a lot worse than this one, so don't criticize this post. If other people write bad comments, then I can, too! And don't tell me I should use paragraphs. This is my post and I can do whatever I want. So there!
You rock, babe. ^_^
TITLE: Year 1 Jessica Kayes and the Lost Light
PERPETRATOR: hermionedastar
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Jessica Kayes
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: not described, though everybody else's is
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: 'a lightning shaped invisible magical scar on Jessica’s forehead'
POSESSIONS: none mentioned
ORIGIN: Her parents were killed by Voldemort when she was five, so she went to live with her aunt and uncle who dote on their daughters and hate her. Gosh... that sounds awful familiar? Where have I heard that before? Hmm...
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: murdered Harry Potter, hid his body, and took over his place in the books
SPECIAL ABILITIES: surviving Avada Kedavra
NOTES: *ahem*
Okay, miss author person, answer me one question, please: what is the fucking point? Why, exactly, do you want to decide that Harry Potter never existed and replace him with your Mary-Sue? And why, please dear Yahweh why, did you feel the need to write seven stories, one about each of this girl's years at Hogwarts? Why did you devote seven hundred thousand words to this? Why, why, why, why, WHY?!
*pantpantpant*
*sob*
EDIT: dig this... this is her 'Jessica isn't a Mary-Sue!' page. She devoted an enormous website to explaining how her character has a very low MS Factor. Apparently, whoever wrote that particular Litmus Test left off one very important question...
SAMPLE:
Jessica Kayes was sitting on the edge of a flowerbed in the garden of aunt Janet and uncle Kevin at Four Whinston Street. That July 30 Thursday afternoon was a rare occasion when both Stewarts were away, and Jessica could enjoy an hour of silence and rest.
Jessica was not a common girl in many respects. A few months earlier she first discovered that she was a wizard, as well as her parents who were killed when she was just a five-year old child by a powerful evil dark wizard Lord Voldemort. There began her story that made her so profoundly different from many other young wizards. Little Jessica was the only person to survive an encounter with Lord Voldemort, referred to by many who avoided pronouncing his very name that incited fear and panic as You-Know-Who. When Voldemort fired a death curse at the kid, it malfunctioned and rebounded upon the caster leaving only a lightning shaped invisible magical scar on Jessica’s forehead, something that had made her a legend, the miracle child, the girl who lived, the girl who vanquished the Lord of Darkness.
However, Jessica had not even suspected about any of the stories and legends circulating in the wizard world about her and Voldemort’s disappearance until recently. She did not remember using any magic when she was a toddler, because her parents bound her powers to save her from the evil wizards going after the girl and the Kayes family. When Jessica’s parents died, the girl was sent off to live with a muggle family of her mother’s relatives, the Stewarts, with whom Jessica had spent the past six years.
Jessica did not really like the Stewarts, mainly because they did not like her and showed it in every possible way trying to make her life miserable, because of her parents, because of her abnormality which sometimes showed against her will, and because she was different, different from their idea of a perfect child. If Jessica did not hate her aunt Janet and uncle Kevin, nor did she like them, the girl plainly fought for survival with her two overgrown cousins Christina and Kandy who set it as their life goal to tease, taunt and kick Jessica whenever she was in their sight. In addition, the Stewarts never spared housework for their niece, so Jessica found it a rare bit of luck that they were both gone from the house and could not scold her for having rest on their precious flowerbed that Jessica weeded, watered and fertilized every day.
The girl was also quite a bit different from the rest of the Stewarts family in that she loved reading and never looked forward to her birthdays. The Stewarts, whose ideal family evening was spent in front of a TV watching a sitcom, with their darling daughters risking to crash the sofa and their nice pretending to not exist, hated Jessica’s inclination to read anything she could reach, from newspapers to uncle Kevin’s accounting books and Kandy’s novels. The Stewarts were also not celebrating Jessica’s birthdays, not even congratulating her, so over time the girl began forgetting herself that she was born on July 31 at 02:00 AM eleven years ago. Her eleventh birthday was tomorrow, but she wasn’t thinking about it. She had more important things on her mind, like how to spend the rest of the summer without upsetting her relatives so that they let her leave for school and how to get to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on September 1st.
Almost four months earlier Jessica received an offer from the school of magic inviting her to start studies there, and she gladly agreed, but doubts about her aunt and uncle never left her, even though the headmaster hinted he might help if she ran into trouble with the muggle (nonmagical) relatives.
Jessica looked at her wristwatch - which was not hers, but old Kandy’s wristwatch with smashed plastic screen on which she stepped angrily last year, so it was given to Jessica - it was showing almost three o’clock. Jessica got up reluctantly since she still had to water the plants and mow the lawn. The girl started attending to the Stewart’s perfect lawn singing something under her nose. About half an hour later the Stewarts returned to the house with many bags from the store discussing lively their trip and pretending Jessica was not even there. The girl preferred that to scolding, so she continued her work.
THIS is MY post. It's only here for me. It's not supposed to be here for you. So if you don't like this post, don't read it. I only want you to tell me if you like this post. If you don't like it, then go away. This is MY post. It's how I want to write it. And I can do whatever I want. Lots of other people write posts that are a lot worse than this one, so don't criticize this post. If other people write bad comments, then I can, too! And don't tell me I should use paragraphs. This is my post and I can do whatever I want. So there!
You rock, babe. ^_^
TITLE: Year 1 Jessica Kayes and the Lost Light
PERPETRATOR: hermionedastar
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Jessica Kayes
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: not described, though everybody else's is
EYES: not described
MARKINGS: 'a lightning shaped invisible magical scar on Jessica’s forehead'
POSESSIONS: none mentioned
ORIGIN: Her parents were killed by Voldemort when she was five, so she went to live with her aunt and uncle who dote on their daughters and hate her. Gosh... that sounds awful familiar? Where have I heard that before? Hmm...
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: murdered Harry Potter, hid his body, and took over his place in the books
SPECIAL ABILITIES: surviving Avada Kedavra
NOTES: *ahem*
Okay, miss author person, answer me one question, please: what is the fucking point? Why, exactly, do you want to decide that Harry Potter never existed and replace him with your Mary-Sue? And why, please dear Yahweh why, did you feel the need to write seven stories, one about each of this girl's years at Hogwarts? Why did you devote seven hundred thousand words to this? Why, why, why, why, WHY?!
*pantpantpant*
*sob*
EDIT: dig this... this is her 'Jessica isn't a Mary-Sue!' page. She devoted an enormous website to explaining how her character has a very low MS Factor. Apparently, whoever wrote that particular Litmus Test left off one very important question...
SAMPLE:
Jessica Kayes was sitting on the edge of a flowerbed in the garden of aunt Janet and uncle Kevin at Four Whinston Street. That July 30 Thursday afternoon was a rare occasion when both Stewarts were away, and Jessica could enjoy an hour of silence and rest.
Jessica was not a common girl in many respects. A few months earlier she first discovered that she was a wizard, as well as her parents who were killed when she was just a five-year old child by a powerful evil dark wizard Lord Voldemort. There began her story that made her so profoundly different from many other young wizards. Little Jessica was the only person to survive an encounter with Lord Voldemort, referred to by many who avoided pronouncing his very name that incited fear and panic as You-Know-Who. When Voldemort fired a death curse at the kid, it malfunctioned and rebounded upon the caster leaving only a lightning shaped invisible magical scar on Jessica’s forehead, something that had made her a legend, the miracle child, the girl who lived, the girl who vanquished the Lord of Darkness.
However, Jessica had not even suspected about any of the stories and legends circulating in the wizard world about her and Voldemort’s disappearance until recently. She did not remember using any magic when she was a toddler, because her parents bound her powers to save her from the evil wizards going after the girl and the Kayes family. When Jessica’s parents died, the girl was sent off to live with a muggle family of her mother’s relatives, the Stewarts, with whom Jessica had spent the past six years.
Jessica did not really like the Stewarts, mainly because they did not like her and showed it in every possible way trying to make her life miserable, because of her parents, because of her abnormality which sometimes showed against her will, and because she was different, different from their idea of a perfect child. If Jessica did not hate her aunt Janet and uncle Kevin, nor did she like them, the girl plainly fought for survival with her two overgrown cousins Christina and Kandy who set it as their life goal to tease, taunt and kick Jessica whenever she was in their sight. In addition, the Stewarts never spared housework for their niece, so Jessica found it a rare bit of luck that they were both gone from the house and could not scold her for having rest on their precious flowerbed that Jessica weeded, watered and fertilized every day.
The girl was also quite a bit different from the rest of the Stewarts family in that she loved reading and never looked forward to her birthdays. The Stewarts, whose ideal family evening was spent in front of a TV watching a sitcom, with their darling daughters risking to crash the sofa and their nice pretending to not exist, hated Jessica’s inclination to read anything she could reach, from newspapers to uncle Kevin’s accounting books and Kandy’s novels. The Stewarts were also not celebrating Jessica’s birthdays, not even congratulating her, so over time the girl began forgetting herself that she was born on July 31 at 02:00 AM eleven years ago. Her eleventh birthday was tomorrow, but she wasn’t thinking about it. She had more important things on her mind, like how to spend the rest of the summer without upsetting her relatives so that they let her leave for school and how to get to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on September 1st.
Almost four months earlier Jessica received an offer from the school of magic inviting her to start studies there, and she gladly agreed, but doubts about her aunt and uncle never left her, even though the headmaster hinted he might help if she ran into trouble with the muggle (nonmagical) relatives.
Jessica looked at her wristwatch - which was not hers, but old Kandy’s wristwatch with smashed plastic screen on which she stepped angrily last year, so it was given to Jessica - it was showing almost three o’clock. Jessica got up reluctantly since she still had to water the plants and mow the lawn. The girl started attending to the Stewart’s perfect lawn singing something under her nose. About half an hour later the Stewarts returned to the house with many bags from the store discussing lively their trip and pretending Jessica was not even there. The girl preferred that to scolding, so she continued her work.