0169: Amelia the Dragon - Amelia Snape
The radio station we play where I work plays this commercial all the time... the DJ guy says, "we don't play rap!" and they play what I think is a couple bars of Vanilla Ice (not being at all familiar with rap as a genre, I wouldn't know)... then he says, "we don't play crap!" and they play this thing with voices singing what I swear to god sounds like "Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo! Bilbo!" They played the ad this morning, and ever since, the damn Bilbo chorus has been running through my head all day and driving me crazy. I want to know where it comes from and what they're really saying.
So I thought, I have three hundred and six people who subscribe to pottersues. One of them must know what the hell this thing is.
Anybody?
TITLE: Amelia the Dragon (am I the only one who immediately wonders if this is a mis-filed Slayers fic?)
PERPETRATOR: Morivanim
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Snape Amelia. I think it's supposed to be Amelia Snape, but when McGonagall calls her to be sorted, she calls: "Amelia, Snape".
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'hair was slightly past her shoulders, straight and dyed blak with blood red tips'
EYES: 'Her eye's were the color of a drakened rust, not quiet brown but not quiet orange'
MARKINGS: 'skin so pale that she would blend in with white walls and glow under a black light' An albino-sue?
POSESSIONS: 'knee high polished army boots' You can polish army boots? A copy of 'Island of the Aunts', which an author's note informs us is 'really good you should read it'. Pepper jack, anybody?
ORIGIN: Snape's niece. Possibly one of the undead, if her description is anything to go by.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape's niece, and the only person who can make him smile. This seems to be reciprocal.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Making Snape smile and do other OOC things. Making Harry and Ron have 'slightly civil' conversations with Draco. "Did we just actually have a slightly civil conversation with Malfoy?" "I don't know... we wouldn't do anything that out of character, would we?"
NOTES: Now I'm gonna be giggling over the mental picture of a gothed-out Amelia wil Tesla Saillune for the rest of the night.
Yet another Hufflepuff-bashing Sue. Dammit, I am going to write a fanfic about Hufflepuff kids... just because we need some good press.
SAMPLE:
A/N: Thank you for all your wonderful reviews I realize this took longer to get up then I thought but I had started to write a 4th chapter and I was almost done and I found this one I wrote a while ago and liked it better.. Just to let all of u no I don't think I'll ever stop writing this story but it would still help if I got a review every now and then to keep my moral up. Well I hope to have a fifth chapter up soon I love you all now here's the story.
Amelia had just gotten through Herbology with Hufflepuff and had now believed that all hufflepuffs were complete cowards and freaks. They had been studying Man-eating Venus Fly-traps. Every single hufflepuff had fainted or ran away screaming while most of the Slytherins had just tried to feed them without getting bitten. Amelia however had no difficulty with it what so ever... it seemed as if the man-eating plant had taken quite a liking to the loner. In fact it liked her so much that it began protecting her. Draco had come over to her attempting to apologize for his rudeness that morning and to hit on her. The plant had nearly taken his head off, but narrowly missed and now Malfoy was in the infirmary with large gashes on his neck. In any case Amelia was now on her way to Divinations, a class she would have no trouble sleeping in.
Amelia had found her way to the tower and was now sitting in a seat at a table as far away from the others as possible. Class was just about to start When Ron and Harry came running in, and unfortunately for Amelia, who was hopping to sit in solitude, the only seats left were at her table.
"Do you mind if we sit here?" asked Harry
"Seeing as there are no other seats in the class I see that I have no choice but to allow you to sit"
"Oh.. Uh... thanks... I guess. By the way I'm Harry and this is Ron."
"Hi!" was the first thing Ron said before he realized who they were talking to." Bloody Hell your Amelia Snape aren't you?!"
"Yes as a matter of fact I am. You two are Hermione's friends am I correct?"
Yes we are, but..." before Ron could ask his question Professor Trelawney came swooping into the class
Not twenty minuets into the class and Professor Trelawney had already Predicted Harry's death 6 times. She was now gunning for seven as the class was reading tea leaves.
"Oh my! Oh my! You poor dear these leaves show you being killed in a quidditch accident. See how the leaves form a broom here?" Amelia could no longer take it. This crack pot of a fool was mistaking cups for skulls and wands for brooms. She had to say something so she did.
"YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT FOOL!!!!!!" As Amelia started to scream the whole tower went silent. "CAN'T YOU NOT TELL THE DIFFRENCE BETWEEN FUCKING WANDS AND BROOMS? THE DAMNABLE LEAVES SAYS THAT HE SHALL WIN A DUELING TOURNAMENT! IT'S A CUP AND A WAND! A TRIUMPH AND A DUEL!!!" Amelia was now her calm peaceful self after screeching at the teacher. The whole class was silent and lucky for her the bell rang signaling for lunch so she was able to leave the bewildered class before points could be taken and detentions given.
**************************************************************
A few moments later the classes had come back to their senses and were now headed to the Great Hall for lunch.
"Well that was an interesting lesson" Ron stated after getting over his shock.
"I can't believe she actually yelled at a teacher."
"Not to mention cursed at her"
"I know. She is one weird girl."
"What do you expect she's Snape's niece."
"Potter!!!" was cried from behind the two boys interrupting the conversation.
"What do you want Malfoy?"
"I wanted to know if it's true that Amelia cursed at the crack pot Trelawney."
"Yes it's true and why would you care."
"I don't. Oh one more thing. Do you know where she might be?"
"No I don't but again why do you care?"
Before Harry had a chance to get his answer Malfoy had left in search for the girl with more guts than anyone in the school.
"Did we just actually have a slightly civil conversation with Malfoy?"
"I don't know."
So I thought, I have three hundred and six people who subscribe to pottersues. One of them must know what the hell this thing is.
Anybody?
TITLE: Amelia the Dragon (am I the only one who immediately wonders if this is a mis-filed Slayers fic?)
PERPETRATOR: Morivanim
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Snape Amelia. I think it's supposed to be Amelia Snape, but when McGonagall calls her to be sorted, she calls: "Amelia, Snape".
SPECIES: Human/Witch
HAIR: 'hair was slightly past her shoulders, straight and dyed blak with blood red tips'
EYES: 'Her eye's were the color of a drakened rust, not quiet brown but not quiet orange'
MARKINGS: 'skin so pale that she would blend in with white walls and glow under a black light' An albino-sue?
POSESSIONS: 'knee high polished army boots' You can polish army boots? A copy of 'Island of the Aunts', which an author's note informs us is 'really good you should read it'. Pepper jack, anybody?
ORIGIN: Snape's niece. Possibly one of the undead, if her description is anything to go by.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape's niece, and the only person who can make him smile. This seems to be reciprocal.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Making Snape smile and do other OOC things. Making Harry and Ron have 'slightly civil' conversations with Draco. "Did we just actually have a slightly civil conversation with Malfoy?" "I don't know... we wouldn't do anything that out of character, would we?"
NOTES: Now I'm gonna be giggling over the mental picture of a gothed-out Amelia wil Tesla Saillune for the rest of the night.
Yet another Hufflepuff-bashing Sue. Dammit, I am going to write a fanfic about Hufflepuff kids... just because we need some good press.
SAMPLE:
A/N: Thank you for all your wonderful reviews I realize this took longer to get up then I thought but I had started to write a 4th chapter and I was almost done and I found this one I wrote a while ago and liked it better.. Just to let all of u no I don't think I'll ever stop writing this story but it would still help if I got a review every now and then to keep my moral up. Well I hope to have a fifth chapter up soon I love you all now here's the story.
Amelia had just gotten through Herbology with Hufflepuff and had now believed that all hufflepuffs were complete cowards and freaks. They had been studying Man-eating Venus Fly-traps. Every single hufflepuff had fainted or ran away screaming while most of the Slytherins had just tried to feed them without getting bitten. Amelia however had no difficulty with it what so ever... it seemed as if the man-eating plant had taken quite a liking to the loner. In fact it liked her so much that it began protecting her. Draco had come over to her attempting to apologize for his rudeness that morning and to hit on her. The plant had nearly taken his head off, but narrowly missed and now Malfoy was in the infirmary with large gashes on his neck. In any case Amelia was now on her way to Divinations, a class she would have no trouble sleeping in.
Amelia had found her way to the tower and was now sitting in a seat at a table as far away from the others as possible. Class was just about to start When Ron and Harry came running in, and unfortunately for Amelia, who was hopping to sit in solitude, the only seats left were at her table.
"Do you mind if we sit here?" asked Harry
"Seeing as there are no other seats in the class I see that I have no choice but to allow you to sit"
"Oh.. Uh... thanks... I guess. By the way I'm Harry and this is Ron."
"Hi!" was the first thing Ron said before he realized who they were talking to." Bloody Hell your Amelia Snape aren't you?!"
"Yes as a matter of fact I am. You two are Hermione's friends am I correct?"
Yes we are, but..." before Ron could ask his question Professor Trelawney came swooping into the class
Not twenty minuets into the class and Professor Trelawney had already Predicted Harry's death 6 times. She was now gunning for seven as the class was reading tea leaves.
"Oh my! Oh my! You poor dear these leaves show you being killed in a quidditch accident. See how the leaves form a broom here?" Amelia could no longer take it. This crack pot of a fool was mistaking cups for skulls and wands for brooms. She had to say something so she did.
"YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT FOOL!!!!!!" As Amelia started to scream the whole tower went silent. "CAN'T YOU NOT TELL THE DIFFRENCE BETWEEN FUCKING WANDS AND BROOMS? THE DAMNABLE LEAVES SAYS THAT HE SHALL WIN A DUELING TOURNAMENT! IT'S A CUP AND A WAND! A TRIUMPH AND A DUEL!!!" Amelia was now her calm peaceful self after screeching at the teacher. The whole class was silent and lucky for her the bell rang signaling for lunch so she was able to leave the bewildered class before points could be taken and detentions given.
**************************************************************
A few moments later the classes had come back to their senses and were now headed to the Great Hall for lunch.
"Well that was an interesting lesson" Ron stated after getting over his shock.
"I can't believe she actually yelled at a teacher."
"Not to mention cursed at her"
"I know. She is one weird girl."
"What do you expect she's Snape's niece."
"Potter!!!" was cried from behind the two boys interrupting the conversation.
"What do you want Malfoy?"
"I wanted to know if it's true that Amelia cursed at the crack pot Trelawney."
"Yes it's true and why would you care."
"I don't. Oh one more thing. Do you know where she might be?"
"No I don't but again why do you care?"
Before Harry had a chance to get his answer Malfoy had left in search for the girl with more guts than anyone in the school.
"Did we just actually have a slightly civil conversation with Malfoy?"
"I don't know."