1261: Time Machine - Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins, Sam Gamgee
For day 7 of Crossover Week, I have something horrible. I’m pretty sure it’s a parody, but, like My Immortal, sometimes parodies cross the funny-line.
Thank you to the lovely minion that sent this in. My eyes bled reading it.
TITLE: Time Machine
PERPETRATOR: SongofthePast
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins, Sam Gamgee
SPECIES:Wizard, Hobbits
HAIR: black hair, not mentioned for the hobbits.
EYES: green eyes, not mentioned for the hobbits.
MARKINGS: Frodo and Sam have marks from where they were whipped.
POSSESSIONS: “hott bondage gear” - Harry had chains around his arms legs and prostate.
ORIGIN: Frodo and Sam build a time machine so they can have sex with everyone. Landed at Hogwarts, where Harry adopted them thinking they were children, but not children because then he had sex with them.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape kidnaps Sam and Frodo, and rapes them. Ron and Draco are Harry’s “best sex friends”. Merry and Pippin show up at the end, because they went through the time machine too.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can have sex a lot. The hobbits can make a functional time machine.
NOTES: The sample I have picked out features an appearance from the author, Jeffery. This fic is one of the worst things I have ever read. This is worse than that foursome fic from 2 weeks ago. Most of the reviews are flames, and apparently this was deleted and then reposted. I WONDER WHY IT WAS DELETED???
SAMPLE:
Crabb and Goyl blushed with happiness at the cutreness of the hobbits.
Greg siad "Look it's Harry's children, let's go get milkshakes with them or something."
Goyl and Crabbe took them to the milkshake shop and they were playing "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" on the radio at the milkshake shop then Sam siad "I have never seen a milkshake before and I am very interested in seeing one it may look like" because they didn't have milkshakes from where Sam was from. Then they saw Harry.
He was naked!
Sma got on his knees and gave harry otal sex right in the middle with everyon watching and everyone got arections! It was soooo hot. Harry cam in great waves of white cream "That is a milkshake" siad Crab.
Greg agreed and they all got real milkshakes. Because the first one was a joke.
The waiter, spilled Harrr'ys milkjshake all over Harry's naked body and Goyl and Crabbe and Frodo and Sam all licke d it off then Harry spermed again. The waiter wasn't a waiter but he was Jeffry! and he did it on perpose. his penis was so big it was longer then a train.
Everyone in the milkshake shop got erectrion from his erection crabbe licked his lips and looked at it. Jeffry said "Open wide here comes the choo-choo" and Crabe thought it tasted so good but not like a train. It tasted like a penis.
Then Snape came in and came everywhere. Everyone was moving about in his thick pudding It was the biggest milkshake in the milkshake shop.
Back in the Lord of the Rings world Merry and Pippin found the time machine they went in and it felt like thre penises got 1000,000,000 times bigger this time they really did!They got to the milkshake shop (it was hard for them to even walk brcause the penises where so big)" then everyone looked in shock at there huge penises. Merry put his penis deep in Pippins butt "Oh yes MErry" said Pippin "Your oenis is so large it feels like your stretching my etire body but mostly my butt." Then everyone in the milkshake sho all grapped on to Pippins penis and started to lick and rub and slide theyr'e penises on it.
THE END
Thank you to the lovely minion that sent this in. My eyes bled reading it.
TITLE: Time Machine
PERPETRATOR: SongofthePast
SUE-O-METER:
(toxic)
FULL NAME: Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins, Sam Gamgee
SPECIES:Wizard, Hobbits
HAIR: black hair, not mentioned for the hobbits.
EYES: green eyes, not mentioned for the hobbits.
MARKINGS: Frodo and Sam have marks from where they were whipped.
POSSESSIONS: “hott bondage gear” - Harry had chains around his arms legs and prostate.
ORIGIN: Frodo and Sam build a time machine so they can have sex with everyone. Landed at Hogwarts, where Harry adopted them thinking they were children, but not children because then he had sex with them.
CONNECTIONS TO CANON: Snape kidnaps Sam and Frodo, and rapes them. Ron and Draco are Harry’s “best sex friends”. Merry and Pippin show up at the end, because they went through the time machine too.
SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can have sex a lot. The hobbits can make a functional time machine.
NOTES: The sample I have picked out features an appearance from the author, Jeffery. This fic is one of the worst things I have ever read. This is worse than that foursome fic from 2 weeks ago. Most of the reviews are flames, and apparently this was deleted and then reposted. I WONDER WHY IT WAS DELETED???
SAMPLE:
Crabb and Goyl blushed with happiness at the cutreness of the hobbits.
Greg siad "Look it's Harry's children, let's go get milkshakes with them or something."
Goyl and Crabbe took them to the milkshake shop and they were playing "My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard" on the radio at the milkshake shop then Sam siad "I have never seen a milkshake before and I am very interested in seeing one it may look like" because they didn't have milkshakes from where Sam was from. Then they saw Harry.
He was naked!
Sma got on his knees and gave harry otal sex right in the middle with everyon watching and everyone got arections! It was soooo hot. Harry cam in great waves of white cream "That is a milkshake" siad Crab.
Greg agreed and they all got real milkshakes. Because the first one was a joke.
The waiter, spilled Harrr'ys milkjshake all over Harry's naked body and Goyl and Crabbe and Frodo and Sam all licke d it off then Harry spermed again. The waiter wasn't a waiter but he was Jeffry! and he did it on perpose. his penis was so big it was longer then a train.
Everyone in the milkshake shop got erectrion from his erection crabbe licked his lips and looked at it. Jeffry said "Open wide here comes the choo-choo" and Crabe thought it tasted so good but not like a train. It tasted like a penis.
Then Snape came in and came everywhere. Everyone was moving about in his thick pudding It was the biggest milkshake in the milkshake shop.
Back in the Lord of the Rings world Merry and Pippin found the time machine they went in and it felt like thre penises got 1000,000,000 times bigger this time they really did!They got to the milkshake shop (it was hard for them to even walk brcause the penises where so big)" then everyone looked in shock at there huge penises. Merry put his penis deep in Pippins butt "Oh yes MErry" said Pippin "Your oenis is so large it feels like your stretching my etire body but mostly my butt." Then everyone in the milkshake sho all grapped on to Pippins penis and started to lick and rub and slide theyr'e penises on it.
THE END