The decline of female friendship?

[postingwhore]

I read a chapter entitled "The Female World of Love and Ritual: Relations Between Women in Nineteenth-Century America" from the book Disorderly Conduct: Visions of Gender in Victorian America today. And it made me sad, I suppose, about friendship in today's society.

It was enlightening, perhaps, to read about just how intimate women were each

Comments

[dusksnowdancer]

the same cultural gap I have with Americans, Chinese Americans, and Chinese

*hugs*

But wouldn't you 'sort of' fall into the second category?

this is probably more than what you wanted to hear.

[postingwhore]

No. The values I have are more or less the values of my parents' generation. I hold nowhere near the semi-Western world view of Chinese Americans, nor do I want to abandon my heritage like many of them and call America my own home.

I'm also alone in the sense that I feel no one in the modern world has inherited China's traditional culture. I feel that 漢 culture disappeared with the advent of Western imperialism in China.

I am fiercely proud of my 漢 heritage, though, and I intend to learn many of the aspects of my culture that allowed my ancestors to be able to call us, with pride, 華夏族. I intend to make 漢服 this summer and eventually learn 箏 and acquire good calligraphy skills, along with learning 文言文.

Re: this is probably more than what you wanted to hear.

[dusksnowdancer]

Ah. What about the China Chinese then? I can only identify with the few who have been exposed to the outside world (e.g. lots of foreign friends, lived overseas for more than 5 years, journalists who are exposed to overseas cultures etc). Those who aren't...well, they tend to say things that really grate on my nerves, but tolerance has never been my forte.

文言文was a terror. I was traumatised by it throughout secondary school. == I did play the erhu, but not for long. A year or so. I love calligraphy.

And hanfu.

Re: this is probably more than what you wanted to hear.

[postingwhore]

China has become too Westernised for my taste. I don't believe my peers hold the same values I do. I have problems making friends with Chinese Americans and with Chinese who study overseas who are my age.

文言文 has a grace that is all its own, as much of a terror it is. I don't relish learning it by myself, but I want to regain the part of my culture my country lost.

My calligraphy is terrible. 心平氣和的神態我只做到過一兩次。

[saiane]

I agree with you completely. I have one person that I can share everything with and feel completely safe in the fact that they will do whatever possible to help me in my times of need. To have a network like that... it would probably be just what this country needs. Maybe a lot less people would be on psych medications and be completely and utterly unsatisfied with their lives.

I wish there was some way to bring that back.

But if I ever had to deal with a dead body, I'd know exactly who I'd call to help me hide it.

[postingwhore]

A lot of people criticize about how "backward" the past is, but we've lost so many good things. Especially these female-female bonds. Now most girls talk about each other behind their backs, and there's so much general backstabbing and meanness. :|

I wish the friends I would call lived near me. :P But then, I've thought of a fairly foolproof way to dispose of a body, so. :3

[jimwise]

You are totally right. It's pretty special knowing you have dozens of sisters who are always there for you. :o)