DA:I fic - The Present - F!Inquisitor/Leliana (PG-13)
Title: The Present
Fandom: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Rating: PG-13
Character/Pairing: F!Inquisitor/Leliana, friendship
Spoilers: Up to Haven
Warnings: None
Summary: Evelyn comes back after the alternate future in Redcliffe desperate to see if Leliana is the same.
Notes: A Dragon Age Kink meme prompt. Mostly friendship, not sure if this is what I intended when I started. 1376 words
The future changed her.
Before Evelyn was just playing at being the Herald, playing at leading the Inquisition, playing at trying to save the world.
The future changed her. Changed everything.
Seeing it, laid out in front of her scared her like nothing else. She had spent all of her life playing. Playing the noble, playing the harlot, playing the hero. Playing, playing, playing.
The future made it real and it wasn’t a game anymore. At first, traipsing through the dungeons of Redcliffe castle with a Vint mage had been pretty bad but nothing had scared her more than when they had come across Leliana.
Pretty Leliana who seemed so good and sweet - twisted into something horrible and unrecognisable. And it wasn’t the way she killed the man torturing her, it wasn’t even her face, the way her flesh was torn and broken. It wasn’t the way she snapped and snarled or even the way she told Dorian he didn’t want to know what had happened. The way she spat every single word back at Evelyn as if being thrown into the future by a crazed and desperate magister was her fault.
It was none of that.
No, nothing had scared her more than the dead black of Leliana’s eyes and the way they looked at her with such disdain.
Such hate.
Leliana had given her cause and faith to believe in her own place as the Herald, even when she didn’t believe it herself. Leliana had faith in her even when she didn’t know why the Maker continued to play games with them. Leliana’s bright blue eyes regarded her as something good and whole and human even when everyone else thought otherwise.
In the future, Leliana was full of hate. Hate for Evelyn and she had lost all her faith. All her subtly, all her beauty.
Evelyn led them back to Haven, truly led them, took charge, took responsibility, took them forward every step despite the way they had been shaken by the events in Redcliffe. And they followed, step by step they fell into line behind her with a new level of respect. It was all she had to keep her going on the journey through the Hinterlands to Haven again, this new sense of purpose fuelling every step and pushing her forward.
Until they reached the village.
Then despite the way the exhaustion had started seeping into every bone, the feeling intensifying as she pushed through the gates, something else started to pull at her. A desperation had her running, running up the steps straight past Varric and stumbling into Leliana’s tent.
She was there. Whole and bright and beautiful
“Oh Herald, you’ve return-”
Evelyn ran up to her, put everything she had left into sprinting those last few feet and throwing her arms around the Spymaster. She held her tight in her arms, feeling the warmth of the woman and the last of her energy leaving her.
“Herald?” Leliana said, trying to pull out of her hold, only to have to wrap her arms around Evelyn to hold her up. “What’s going on?” she asked. “What happened in Redcliffe?”
Evelyn couldn’t answer, she simply smiled and closed her eyes, the vision of pink cheeks and bright blue eyes settling in her mind and the lilt in the woman’s accent when she spoke still ringing in her ears. She felt herself being lifted up, clean off the floor by someone obviously stronger than Leliana but not caring for a moment. Then she was lying down and warm and….
X
Evelyn woke to the Chant of Light, Leliana’s soft voice surrounding her and she smiled to herself. She was wrapped in a thick blanket, her boots and jacket gone and warm despite the fact that she was on a cot in an open tent. Everything she feared was gone now, there was just the glorious but dangerous present.
She opened her eyes to see the red hair properly for the first time as Leliana’s cowl had fallen back onto her shoulders as she prayed to Andraste. Evelyn followed the words, remembering her own prayers as a child - it had been the last time she had prayed at all but now found herself with new faith and reason, thinking up her own as Leliana recited the last of the chant.
“You’re awake,” Leliana said, when she was done, pulling up her cowl once more before turning around.
“Yes, I - thank you. I didn’t realise how tired I was,” she said, blushing a little. She sat up and shook her hair from her face, tucking the blonde strands behind her ears.
“What happened? In Redcliffe.”
Evelyn found she was unable to answer at first, the fear caught in her throat as she saw a flash of that Leliana instead of the real one in front her.
“I’ve had reports but…” she paused. “I gathered there was more to it, for you at least.”
Evelyn nodded, looking away for a moment and Leliana came to sit next to her on the cot.
“You were…you were different,” she managed to get out. “The others were broken, weird versions of themselves, the red lyrium had twisted them into it but you.”
“I was not broken?”
“Not like the others. You were dead inside, cold and,” she took a breath, feeling tears welling up at the memory of the way that Leliana looked at her. “You were full of hate. For everything. For me. You hated me.”
A sob escaped her, quiet, but she knew Leliana had caught the sound and she looked away quickly to dry her eyes on the sleeve of her tunic. The redhead caught her chin in her hand and pulled her back to look at her, eyes bright and blue and smiling.
That smile broke her.
She sobbed again and fell into Leliana, the other woman wrapping her arms around her and letting her cry for a little while. Letting her get out everything she felt, every fear - not just those related to Leliana. She felt small and foolish and cried anyway, because Leliana was warm and welcoming and not the woman they had met in the future.
“I could never hate you Evelyn,” she murmured into her hair once she was calmer. “That person in the future. She didn’t hate you.”
“Oh, Leliana,” Evelyn said, pulling away to look at her - pink cheeks, smooth skin, blue eyes.
“She didn’t hate you,” she repeated. “Trust me.”
Evelyn nodded, feeling more tears coming and having had enough of crying for now.
“Thank you, thank you,”
“I must ask,” Leliana said, “why, why did that…” she paused to find the right words and Evelyn watched her think it over, revelling in her existence as the woman she was and that everything was right in the world even when it wasn’t. “Why did that scare you so much? Or was it simply the straw that broke the halla’s back.”
“No, no, it was the worst thing, the only thing,” she said. “But I don’t know why. You are what gives me faith in…faith. In this, in myself, and to see it all gone…” Evelyn shuddered. “If you don’t believe in me then there is nothing to believe in.”
“That’s…” Leliana shook her head. “You must have faith in yourself Evelyn.”
“I do, now, now…but before, it was all you.”
“You give me too much credit. Or yourself too little.”
“Perhaps both,” Evelyn said, with a smile. “But I’m ready now. I’m ready to believe. To lead.”
Leliana leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek gently.
“Good,” she said. “Now, rest some more. You will need it.”
“Here?” Evelyn asked, gesturing to the woman’s cot. Leliana nodded. “Would you join me?”
She didn’t look as scandalised as Evelyn expected and wondered how much there was to this woman that she didn’t know about. Instead Leliana moved a small screen around the cot to sheltered them from the wind and from view.
“In a little while,” she said, settling her cowl a little tighter around her head. “Sleep for now.”
Evelyn nodded and slipped back under the thick blankets her heart a little lighter for the first time since the explosion at the conclave.