LJ IDOL WEEK TWO
The first thing I realized was that I had lost my socks. I always wore socks, because in general my feet were ice cubes. The second thing I noticed was that the sun was purple. Strangely that didn't bother me as much as losing my socks. I closed my eyes, waiting calmly to drift out of the dream.
"Hello. Are you going to stand there or are you going to do something with yourself?"
I opened my eyes, wondering exactly what food I ate to have a large fully dressed monkey standing under a tree that I had first mistaken for a weeping willow. As I focused(and now that I thought of it, where were my glasses?)I saw green shoelaces delicately clumped together. Since it was a dream, I figured there was no harm in talking to the monkey.
"Actually, I was wondering where I was."
"Don't we all wonder where we are?"
Great. Not only a talking monkey, but a philosophical one. I blamed it on the ham portion of my pizza.
"Okay," I started over. "I was wondering how exactly I can get out of here?"
"If you seek escape you must help yourself."
Fine. I looked around, seeing now that I was at the bottom of a hill (although it might have been classified as a mountain. Just.) The grass--I hoped it was grass--looked slightly yellow, but other wise normal. At the top...
At the top of the hill was a castle, somewhere between Disney princess and Gothic revival. I shook my head.
"Thank you for your help, sir," I said to the monkey, who bowed and said nothing in return.
I turned, shaking my already numb feet and began to climb. I stopped halfway up, out of shape and out of breath. Whenever I woke up, and I hoped it was soon, I was never eating pizza at two in the morning again.
Grayish clouds appeared in the sky, and I hoped it wasn't rain. Or if it was it was one of those warm summer rains that would at least temporarily warm me. A shiver crept up my toes, pulsating up my legs and settling into my stomach. I moved again, afraid if I stopped now, I would become a statue, an addition to the already strange scenery.
There was no one at the castle door, so I walked in cautiously, afraid any moment that a speaking dinosaur or a flying toaster would come my way. I was surprised when an older man in a business suit approached me as I stood in the front hall.
"Ah, Rachel," he said.
It was my dream, so obviously he knew my name.
"Hi," I said, holding out my hand. "I don't know how I got to this world exactly, but the talking monkey said I should help myself. So I figured this was a building and someone had to be here."
The man regarded my hand as if it were a nuclear bomb. He swallowed. "Ah, yes Nigel. He was right. And you were right to come here. Now unfortunately I cannot help you right now. I am not the ruler of this world. She will be in tomorrow."
I sighed, "Do you at least have a pair of socks I could borrow?"
"What are socks?"
I looked at his feet, and laughed. Of all the dreamworlds, I ended up in the one with no socks. "All right. I guess I can't stay here either can I?"
"Oh no. Visitors must stay at their point of origin."
The thought of spending the night with Nigel the Talking Monkey made me cringe, but then again, it was a dream (Please God, Buddha, Allah, anyone, let it be a dream). The older man, a butler of some sort, escorted me to the door.
"WAIT A MINUTE!" I yelled. "It was uphill getting here! How is it uphill going back?"
"In order to gain our fondest desires, we must first go through many trials."
Before I could respond, the door clicked softly behind me. I leaned against it for a moment, tired, hungry, and my stupid feet were so numb I was surprised I hadn't broken off a toe or another piece of my foot.
Then the sky opened up, and at first I thought it was raining blood. After I cringed and peeked through my fingertips, I realized it was just cranberry juice. I drank a little, shielding my eyes.
It was time to head back to Nigel and the Shoelace Tree for the evening. I hoped I could find somewhere to sleep, and perhaps a blanket if only for my feet. Except how did you sleep when you were already dreaming? And why hadn't I woken up yet?
Standing there at the bottom of the hill, wet, sticky, cold and tired, I realized one good thing. If the trip to the castle was uphill both ways, and if I was stuck here for awhile...
At least my calves would be toned.
I cursed late night pizza once again, and began to climb.
"Hello. Are you going to stand there or are you going to do something with yourself?"
I opened my eyes, wondering exactly what food I ate to have a large fully dressed monkey standing under a tree that I had first mistaken for a weeping willow. As I focused(and now that I thought of it, where were my glasses?)I saw green shoelaces delicately clumped together. Since it was a dream, I figured there was no harm in talking to the monkey.
"Actually, I was wondering where I was."
"Don't we all wonder where we are?"
Great. Not only a talking monkey, but a philosophical one. I blamed it on the ham portion of my pizza.
"Okay," I started over. "I was wondering how exactly I can get out of here?"
"If you seek escape you must help yourself."
Fine. I looked around, seeing now that I was at the bottom of a hill (although it might have been classified as a mountain. Just.) The grass--I hoped it was grass--looked slightly yellow, but other wise normal. At the top...
At the top of the hill was a castle, somewhere between Disney princess and Gothic revival. I shook my head.
"Thank you for your help, sir," I said to the monkey, who bowed and said nothing in return.
I turned, shaking my already numb feet and began to climb. I stopped halfway up, out of shape and out of breath. Whenever I woke up, and I hoped it was soon, I was never eating pizza at two in the morning again.
Grayish clouds appeared in the sky, and I hoped it wasn't rain. Or if it was it was one of those warm summer rains that would at least temporarily warm me. A shiver crept up my toes, pulsating up my legs and settling into my stomach. I moved again, afraid if I stopped now, I would become a statue, an addition to the already strange scenery.
There was no one at the castle door, so I walked in cautiously, afraid any moment that a speaking dinosaur or a flying toaster would come my way. I was surprised when an older man in a business suit approached me as I stood in the front hall.
"Ah, Rachel," he said.
It was my dream, so obviously he knew my name.
"Hi," I said, holding out my hand. "I don't know how I got to this world exactly, but the talking monkey said I should help myself. So I figured this was a building and someone had to be here."
The man regarded my hand as if it were a nuclear bomb. He swallowed. "Ah, yes Nigel. He was right. And you were right to come here. Now unfortunately I cannot help you right now. I am not the ruler of this world. She will be in tomorrow."
I sighed, "Do you at least have a pair of socks I could borrow?"
"What are socks?"
I looked at his feet, and laughed. Of all the dreamworlds, I ended up in the one with no socks. "All right. I guess I can't stay here either can I?"
"Oh no. Visitors must stay at their point of origin."
The thought of spending the night with Nigel the Talking Monkey made me cringe, but then again, it was a dream (Please God, Buddha, Allah, anyone, let it be a dream). The older man, a butler of some sort, escorted me to the door.
"WAIT A MINUTE!" I yelled. "It was uphill getting here! How is it uphill going back?"
"In order to gain our fondest desires, we must first go through many trials."
Before I could respond, the door clicked softly behind me. I leaned against it for a moment, tired, hungry, and my stupid feet were so numb I was surprised I hadn't broken off a toe or another piece of my foot.
Then the sky opened up, and at first I thought it was raining blood. After I cringed and peeked through my fingertips, I realized it was just cranberry juice. I drank a little, shielding my eyes.
It was time to head back to Nigel and the Shoelace Tree for the evening. I hoped I could find somewhere to sleep, and perhaps a blanket if only for my feet. Except how did you sleep when you were already dreaming? And why hadn't I woken up yet?
Standing there at the bottom of the hill, wet, sticky, cold and tired, I realized one good thing. If the trip to the castle was uphill both ways, and if I was stuck here for awhile...
At least my calves would be toned.
I cursed late night pizza once again, and began to climb.