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May 10, 2006 13:27

the boy and i are probably getting married this summer. its going to be a very low-key, justice of the peace, get-married-in-jeans affair ( Read more... )

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daikan May 10 2006, 18:40:05 UTC
we just didn't register anywhere. if someone asked, we politely told them "cash" but we did get a lot of useless items too...

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dwa20 May 10 2006, 21:00:07 UTC
If I received an invitation with that on it, I would not attend the wedding nor would I send a gift of any kind. It is tacky and rude not to mention presumptuous. I find trolling for gifts or cash to be highly offensive. I also skip weddings when the invitation includes gift registry information. (a shower is different -- you know that you are being invited to shower the bride with presents, but it's still tacky. Word of mouth is the ONLY way to request items.. of course you register... then your family lets people know where WHEN THEY ASK)

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dwa20 May 10 2006, 21:22:32 UTC
You give a person a gift based on what you can afford, what you think of the individual, your relationship to the individual, etc. You do not base it on the expectations and greed of the receipient.

Asking for gifts is tacky. If you don't like what you get send a thank you note and then take it back to the store and get what you want.

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goaskyourmother May 10 2006, 18:47:26 UTC
If you're too embarassed to ask for cash, (and people like to buy gifts too) ask for gift vouchers and sell them on ebay, they always go down well and you should get at least 80% of the value back.

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lolacat May 10 2006, 18:53:50 UTC
That's what I was going to say -- if you register, register for gift cards only. People should get the hint, and if you get the word out to your support people it will get passed on. But putting it in writing is pretty tacky, or at least is CONSIDERED pretty tacky!

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lapenn May 11 2006, 05:04:17 UTC
I think that's even worse than asking for cash. You're basically asking for cash (saying "we don't like what we know you'd buy, so please give us gift cards so we can buy it ourselves.") then, she'd be losing money by selling the giftcards on ebay (ebay fees, time, loss of value, etc).

It's tacky to ask for cash, but it's less tacky than asking for cash equivalents and losing some of that cash in the process.

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10th_life May 10 2006, 18:52:16 UTC
Most of our guests gave money anyway. The gifts came more at the shower. You could simply not have a shower and, perhaps, people will yse what they would have spent for the gift at a shower for money at the wedding. We were students, too. We didn't register for china or linens or such. We did register for things we would need (when you move out): coffee pot, if you drink coffee, microwave, vacuum cleaner, pots & pans, utensils--these are things you'll likely need.

Otherwise, I agree with the person who posted that gifts are not an expectation, which is why it is called "a gift." Anyhting you get is more than you have now.

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tamie_m May 10 2006, 18:55:09 UTC
I think it would be so rude to ask for cash.. Or presents in general.. Its like expecting people to give you stuff. Presents should be appreciated, not expected.

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