Comments | poncywriters: Minimalist fic: Lost Property

minnow_53 in poncywriters

Minimalist fic: Lost Property

Apr 30, 2005 08:45

I criticise literary endeavours for a living, so I can see the problems: lack of context, telling, not showing, word repetition, one or two phrases that I can't get right, a proper story lurking somewhere, so why not write that ( Read more... )

minnow_53, theft

Comments 6

hecticred April 30 2005, 08:16:29 UTC

I like it. it's like a snippet out of a conversation, and it comes accross as very real, the way the speaker refers to characters and events taht maybe we are supposed ot know about. You end up wondering who 'she' is (their mother maybe?). I liked the image of them 'stealing' a house. I also thought the sort of cheery, unperturbed tone of the speaker was an interesting contrast to the obviously really awful circumstances she was in. Very effective.

minnow_53 April 30 2005, 09:31:13 UTC

Thank you! I thought of it as a sort of evil mother, but a slightly ineffectual one, if that's possible. I'm glad you inferred such a lot from it too, because that's all the stuff I was seeing in the background when I wrote it. Great to have feedback!

^_^x

kabeyk April 30 2005, 09:26:41 UTC

Oooh, I like, and not just because I love short sentences.

And maybe your writing style is rather distinctive too, because I always notice all your little real bits. Flushing toilets!

Sorry, bit sleep-deprived this morning.

kxx

minnow_53 April 30 2005, 09:34:53 UTC

I have the same thing with style: I always worry so much that it's too obviously mine, and sift through things to check I'm not repeating myself too much from other fics (think I mentioned that before!) so it will seem a bit different this time...

I'm glad you liked it.

Damn ponceywriters: now I have to find icons without R/S on them!

^_^xx

liadlaith May 1 2005, 02:12:24 UTC

Ooh, I love first-person stuff. Great distinctive tone. There's not really much I can criticise that you haven't already mentioned. Although I must say I'm rather nervous for that kitten . . .

minnow_53 May 1 2005, 06:59:11 UTC

There's not really much I can criticise that you haven't already mentioned.

Sorry! Pre-emptive strikes are mean. I'm really looking forward to the next challenge, when my work deadline will be past and I can take time to do something more complete.

Thanks for the comment! Yes, you're meant to feel worried for the kitten, btw. :(

^_^