Gal About Campus: A dish column for the PUMPA Press
This article appears in the school newspaper and is pinned on some bulletin boards in common rooms and cafeteria's around campus
Hello students fortunate and less so, in this initial outing for the student paper, I'll cover some of the interesting goings on around our school, and events on the social calender. As we all know, last week we had all kinds of bombs dropped, from hauntings to annoucements to parties and even more hauntings, and you know your girl has all the news you want to use.
You're all well aware that there was another outbreak of poltergeist activity in the girl's dorms, but not all the spooky shenanigans going on that night were paranormal in nature. Hunt around on the Livejournal communities and you'll find a group of immature boys decided to try and be little pervs and spy on us girls. It's actually a little fortunate that some real ghosts showed up before their schemes could come to fruition. Personally, your intrepid authoress was the victim of a vicious, unwarranted waterboarding simulation, which left me soaked in the halls amidst the chaos. Whoever can find the culprit and make sure he gets his just desserts will earn a special prize from yours truly. ~_^
Meanwhile, Demonology Department head and resident senile old coot Professor Houghton McMillan, was the winner of this week's Foot-in-Mouth award when he broke an old rule from Mark Twain "Better to stay silent look like a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt." HE achieved this by being the WORST gossiper in the history of PUMPA when he announced to the entire school that there was a half-blooded student on campus. Besides the obvious faux pas, old McMillan apparently never learned about how to calm people rather than cause panic. Rumors don't cause riots, confirmed rumors lose one's tenure. I think we may be looking at a couple heads rolling in the next couple months.
Your dear socialite lived up to her name this weekend by hosting a weekend gala in her sumptious dorm room for the elite of the student body. Of course, those have-nots were incredibly jealous and decided to wreck the proceedings by trudging another stampede of spirits through yours truly's quarters, in addition to more Peeping Toms who don't know to keep their eyes to themselves. Again, my favor to one of my little birds who delivers justice. Hopefully the next big to do someone throws isn't washed by mediocrity.
Finally, the buzz about campus indicates an interesting coupling on St. Valentine's Day. charlescaroll left his dorm on 02/14, allegedly looking for his sister, one Holly Caroll, who was heading up the ghost hunting party that crashed moi's soiree. He claims he never found her. The next day, lady_of_noodles went looking for her cat, an already notorious creature by the name of Delilah. Neither hide nor hair of these two were found, despite the previous evening's explosive events. My little birds tell me the two were seen hurrying off towards the woods, together even. Now, one never reveals her sources, but I trust them enough. We'll have to see what develops, whether it be love, lust, or simple schoolgirl crush.
Until next time, this your ever faithful lover of the high life signing off.
-AW
Hello students fortunate and less so, in this initial outing for the student paper, I'll cover some of the interesting goings on around our school, and events on the social calender. As we all know, last week we had all kinds of bombs dropped, from hauntings to annoucements to parties and even more hauntings, and you know your girl has all the news you want to use.
You're all well aware that there was another outbreak of poltergeist activity in the girl's dorms, but not all the spooky shenanigans going on that night were paranormal in nature. Hunt around on the Livejournal communities and you'll find a group of immature boys decided to try and be little pervs and spy on us girls. It's actually a little fortunate that some real ghosts showed up before their schemes could come to fruition. Personally, your intrepid authoress was the victim of a vicious, unwarranted waterboarding simulation, which left me soaked in the halls amidst the chaos. Whoever can find the culprit and make sure he gets his just desserts will earn a special prize from yours truly. ~_^
Meanwhile, Demonology Department head and resident senile old coot Professor Houghton McMillan, was the winner of this week's Foot-in-Mouth award when he broke an old rule from Mark Twain "Better to stay silent look like a fool, then to open your mouth and remove all doubt." HE achieved this by being the WORST gossiper in the history of PUMPA when he announced to the entire school that there was a half-blooded student on campus. Besides the obvious faux pas, old McMillan apparently never learned about how to calm people rather than cause panic. Rumors don't cause riots, confirmed rumors lose one's tenure. I think we may be looking at a couple heads rolling in the next couple months.
Your dear socialite lived up to her name this weekend by hosting a weekend gala in her sumptious dorm room for the elite of the student body. Of course, those have-nots were incredibly jealous and decided to wreck the proceedings by trudging another stampede of spirits through yours truly's quarters, in addition to more Peeping Toms who don't know to keep their eyes to themselves. Again, my favor to one of my little birds who delivers justice. Hopefully the next big to do someone throws isn't washed by mediocrity.
Finally, the buzz about campus indicates an interesting coupling on St. Valentine's Day. charlescaroll left his dorm on 02/14, allegedly looking for his sister, one Holly Caroll, who was heading up the ghost hunting party that crashed moi's soiree. He claims he never found her. The next day, lady_of_noodles went looking for her cat, an already notorious creature by the name of Delilah. Neither hide nor hair of these two were found, despite the previous evening's explosive events. My little birds tell me the two were seen hurrying off towards the woods, together even. Now, one never reveals her sources, but I trust them enough. We'll have to see what develops, whether it be love, lust, or simple schoolgirl crush.
Until next time, this your ever faithful lover of the high life signing off.
-AW