Self-Esteem Meme

Jun 13, 2006 19:18

So there was a meme floating through my friends list last week ( Read more... )

memey goo

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Comments 18

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Re: (And it is not like you've been any slouch in the dating department, my friend!) polyfrog June 14 2006, 01:02:34 UTC
Your perception of my romantic life is different from mine. But that's not a topic I want to discuss here and now.

Re: PS: Don't know. Probably not.

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redbird June 14 2006, 01:11:08 UTC
Quite. If I were prepared to do something like that, I'd also be prepared to actually write to the person or people in question and express my interest. In practice, I've thus far always done so in person (if I ever said anything at all), but that's another reason I wouldn't do a meme like that.

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blur01 June 14 2006, 01:59:39 UTC
It will what it will be, baby.

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jrittenhouse June 14 2006, 02:39:51 UTC
There are two people I can think of on my wide-wide-world-of-flist (aside of any large ground squirrels that I married) that I'd had a crush on at one time or another, and I honestly haven't had anything like that for a verrrrry long time. Like, say, 1993 or so. When I go monogamous, baybee, I mean it.

My general guess at this point is that if the people who ever realized that I crushed on them at some point were to be faced with it in the here and now, with me very much taken and irregardless of their status, they'd not appreciate me mentioning it. My guess is that one of them never had the first notion, and the other did and might have been interested, but I was getting much more involved with another person at that time (who was jealous as heck of them in any event). Bad timing, in short.

In any event, it's a so-what situation and extremely academic. And I have almost neve found, in any case, that 'blind professions of interest' work worth a damn, in any event.

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bibliofile June 14 2006, 08:52:18 UTC
No crushes since 1993? The very occasional crush was one of the things that surprised me when I was married. To me, that just emphasizes that crushes are more about pheromones and random stuff than anything particular about you or another person.

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jrittenhouse June 14 2006, 10:12:06 UTC
Really, it hasn't been there at all. I mean, I'm not *dead*, and I can appreciate someone who looks very interesting, but in general, I largely divorce 'cute' from 'crush' or other woohoo interest. What attacts me is a combination of things - spirit, brains, humor, looks - and I've found that while looks may reflect the others, it's a poor marker. And that personality for me is indeed the key; I remember very well what happens when you get a lot of the other stuff, but a selfish heart and bad temper - hell on earth.

Maybe it's just major burn marks on my system. I dunno.

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crushes pir_anha June 14 2006, 20:24:59 UTC
i'm poly, so it's not like my serious involvements put a crimp in my crush abilities, but i also haven't had a crush in many years now (since the one on my second partner). my crushes are generally not about looks (though some manner of appearance can play a role -- how somebody moves, frex); they're about some combination of "stuff that attracts me" along the lines you mentioned, and pher*mones can't possibly play a required part because i can get crushes on somebody i know only online. i theorize that i have none now because i am too occupied to actually get to the point where i'd think anything other than "cute" about somebody in passing.

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pir_anha June 14 2006, 03:33:14 UTC
pr you might get no responses! (not you personally, i mean; you probably would, being cute and all that.) that would be depressing.

ah bah. if i am interested in somebody and want to do something about it i don't need an LJ meme to say so. in fact, i'd avoid it like the plague.

if i am just crushing, then i am unlikely to say anything until many years later, *heh*.

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pir_anha June 14 2006, 03:33:57 UTC
ah, you said that. i should read for content at all times. :)

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