an epic of epic epic-ness
Scott Pilgrim Series
Scott Pilgrim vs. A Chance at Comic Con
RamonaxScott, special appearance by Wallace Wells ♥
Written for a prompt at pilgrim_kink
(But it's me, so it's G-rated. Mostly.)
Originally posted here.
682 words.
"GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT?"
Ramona - finger still outstretched for the doorbell to the crappy little hole-in-the-wall that her boyfriend and his gay roommate called "home" - looked askance at the gibbering man-child that was Scott Pilgrim. "I don't know dude, I'm guessing I should probably turn tail and share this pizza with Kim instead."
"Good guess! Run while you can, Rammy!" Wallace hollered from the kitchen.
"What? No! You can't... she won't... you... suck?" came Scott's inspired retort as Ramona breezed past him and plopped down on the sole mattress.
Clucking his tongue like a worried mother, Wallace shook his head sadly at her as he moved to take up residence on the (likewise lone) easy chair, "Can't say I didn't warn you. Remember this as the moment where Wallace Wells tried to save a damsel in distress."
"That's my role! I'm the hero! Didn't you read my character profile?"
"Are you going to tell her or do I need to start charging to be your spokesperson, guy?"
"Shut up! I was just getting there!" and with that Scott whirled in Ramona's direction, waving a pair of passes so quickly that they blurred in front of her eyes, "I got tickets!"
"For a concert? It better not be some other Envy Adams gig because I hate that chick," she rolled her eyes knowingly in Wallace's direction as he raised his wine glass in a salute.
"Why would I do that? No, this is way better! They're tickets to Comic Con! It's only the coolest event of the year!" He puffed out his chest like a grade-schooler who was particularly proud of their sad little fingerpainting art project.
She wasn't really capable of crushing his spirit, was she? It'd be like kicking a puppy in the crotch or stealing a kid's ice cream cone only to drop it on the pavement on purpose.
Oh wait, she was Ramona Flowers. Of course she could. Besides, she had a reputation to uphold.
"Uh... dude? Hate to break it to you but comic book conventions are so not my scene," she said casually, picking up another slice of Panago's primo capicollo pizza and pointedly ignoring the shattered expression dawning over his face, "Take someone else like, I dunno, Young Neil. He's probably into that stuff."
Clutching the tickets to his chest as if they were the last two tickets left for a space shuttle set to leave for some far away galaxy seconds before Earth exploded into a million pieces (she could imagine exactly that scenario playing through his head right then, in fact she almost swears that she can see it), he rounded on her with his most pathetic, hang-dog expression. "But... but I had it all planned out! We were going to dress up together and be recognized as the hottest X-Men cosplaying couple and that might mean we could temporarily get their awesome powers if one of your exes shows up and--"
"Go for Rogue," Wallace nodded sagely, expertly swirling the Cabernet in his glass, "That way you can tell all the nerds you'll suck their lives out of them if they so much as touch you."
"What?" said Scott blankly.
Wallace shrugged nonchalantly, "That goes for you too, guy."
"Oh yeah? Well I-- mmf!"
Tired of sitting around listening to the Odd Couple's bickering, Ramona had decided to take matters in her own hands by grabbing Scott around the back of the neck and initiating what he would later proclaim as "The most epic make-out session of my entire life!"
(Wallace would recount it as "you know, not bad, but you ain't got nothin' on what I did with your mom last night.")
"Murfle?" squeaked Scott as he collapsed onto the bed in a lifeless heap.
Ramona grabbed another slice of pizza and settled down next to Scott (down and out for the count!), patting his face with fond amusement. "Well whaddaya know? It works!"
After downing the rest of his wine in one go, Wallace turned to her with a wink, "I take my thanks in margaritas and tequila shots."
Scott Pilgrim vs. A Chance at Comic Con
RamonaxScott, special appearance by Wallace Wells ♥
Written for a prompt at pilgrim_kink
(But it's me, so it's G-rated. Mostly.)
Originally posted here.
682 words.
"GUESS WHAT? GUESS WHAT?"
Ramona - finger still outstretched for the doorbell to the crappy little hole-in-the-wall that her boyfriend and his gay roommate called "home" - looked askance at the gibbering man-child that was Scott Pilgrim. "I don't know dude, I'm guessing I should probably turn tail and share this pizza with Kim instead."
"Good guess! Run while you can, Rammy!" Wallace hollered from the kitchen.
"What? No! You can't... she won't... you... suck?" came Scott's inspired retort as Ramona breezed past him and plopped down on the sole mattress.
Clucking his tongue like a worried mother, Wallace shook his head sadly at her as he moved to take up residence on the (likewise lone) easy chair, "Can't say I didn't warn you. Remember this as the moment where Wallace Wells tried to save a damsel in distress."
"That's my role! I'm the hero! Didn't you read my character profile?"
"Are you going to tell her or do I need to start charging to be your spokesperson, guy?"
"Shut up! I was just getting there!" and with that Scott whirled in Ramona's direction, waving a pair of passes so quickly that they blurred in front of her eyes, "I got tickets!"
"For a concert? It better not be some other Envy Adams gig because I hate that chick," she rolled her eyes knowingly in Wallace's direction as he raised his wine glass in a salute.
"Why would I do that? No, this is way better! They're tickets to Comic Con! It's only the coolest event of the year!" He puffed out his chest like a grade-schooler who was particularly proud of their sad little fingerpainting art project.
She wasn't really capable of crushing his spirit, was she? It'd be like kicking a puppy in the crotch or stealing a kid's ice cream cone only to drop it on the pavement on purpose.
Oh wait, she was Ramona Flowers. Of course she could. Besides, she had a reputation to uphold.
"Uh... dude? Hate to break it to you but comic book conventions are so not my scene," she said casually, picking up another slice of Panago's primo capicollo pizza and pointedly ignoring the shattered expression dawning over his face, "Take someone else like, I dunno, Young Neil. He's probably into that stuff."
Clutching the tickets to his chest as if they were the last two tickets left for a space shuttle set to leave for some far away galaxy seconds before Earth exploded into a million pieces (she could imagine exactly that scenario playing through his head right then, in fact she almost swears that she can see it), he rounded on her with his most pathetic, hang-dog expression. "But... but I had it all planned out! We were going to dress up together and be recognized as the hottest X-Men cosplaying couple and that might mean we could temporarily get their awesome powers if one of your exes shows up and--"
"Go for Rogue," Wallace nodded sagely, expertly swirling the Cabernet in his glass, "That way you can tell all the nerds you'll suck their lives out of them if they so much as touch you."
"What?" said Scott blankly.
Wallace shrugged nonchalantly, "That goes for you too, guy."
"Oh yeah? Well I-- mmf!"
Tired of sitting around listening to the Odd Couple's bickering, Ramona had decided to take matters in her own hands by grabbing Scott around the back of the neck and initiating what he would later proclaim as "The most epic make-out session of my entire life!"
(Wallace would recount it as "you know, not bad, but you ain't got nothin' on what I did with your mom last night.")
"Murfle?" squeaked Scott as he collapsed onto the bed in a lifeless heap.
Ramona grabbed another slice of pizza and settled down next to Scott (down and out for the count!), patting his face with fond amusement. "Well whaddaya know? It works!"
After downing the rest of his wine in one go, Wallace turned to her with a wink, "I take my thanks in margaritas and tequila shots."