Comments | polgarawolf: Star Wars work in progress You Became to Me

polgarawolf

Star Wars work in progress You Became to Me

Aug 12, 2005 01:00

Third part of a work in progress
Title: You Became to Me (as suggested by avari_maethor)
Pairing: Anakin/Obi-Wan with mention of Padmé
Rating: Uhm, right now pretty PG-13ish but inevitably it'll be at least an R (?)
Disclaimer: I do not own the lovely boys from Star Wars, more's the pity! What I do have is an extremely contrary muse that refuses to shut up and ( Read more... )

your thoughts betray you . . ., sith lords are our speciality, . . . i sense something . . ., i sense a trap., be mindful of your thoughts . . ., we're fine. we're all fine here...now..., search your feelings

Comments 7

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polgarawolf November 2 2005, 22:54:36 UTC

*Turns color of over-ripe tomato*
Thank you so much!!! I'm so glad you like it! That makes me feel so much better, to know that somebody else is liking this!

hlglne October 31 2005, 06:11:45 UTC

I hope you go through and make all the paragraphs shorter. And quit aping Stover. And I have to tell you that the descriptions of the major players' Force presences is pure poetry.

polgarawolf November 3 2005, 00:16:50 UTC

Things never look the same length going from a WordPerfect document to the lj. After I finish the two chapters I'm on, I'm planning on going back again and looking at the beginning. I know there's a lot more of RotS in the first few parts. It's mostly because I was trying to hurry to follow them back to Coruscant and not lose the thread of the story. After they get back to Coruscant, things start to change much more rapidly and obviously. Only about a fourth or a fifth of what I have down of the overall story is very like parts of RotS. But this work is going to have elements of RotS in it not matter what I do. It's the same people and several of the same events, and I can't just cut straight to Coruscant. I have to have Dooku and Grievous for what happens later in the story. But I don't want this to feel like it's just RotS, though, so . . . I will try to go back and make it sound less like the RotS novelization, even though I need to keep a lot of the same opening events.

anakin415 November 1 2005, 15:02:13 UTC

helga has a good point. I do have to say your emotional weight is brillance, and the descriptions are gold. This chapter could have less detailed but the interaction between ObiWan and Anakin wonderful. Evolution is happening here and you are coming along. Keep it coming write through it you are doing well. You have made good bases now its time to take off on your own. Wonderful job there keep it coming.

polgarawolf November 4 2005, 22:39:36 UTC

Thanks for the encouragement! I need it. I've been trying to redo some of the beginning, and now have five pages that won't fit in either part 2 or 3 because the lj just says the documents too long and I'm about ready to pull out hair. *Sigh* I really hope these changes help some, because they're changing the way my chapters/parts get loaded onto the lj, because of length. Does it seem less RotS-ity to you at all?

avari_maethor November 7 2005, 14:08:42 UTC

I love this story! In some places the paragraphs could be shorter but it's still great!

polgarawolf November 8 2005, 14:34:15 UTC

Thanks! I need to go back and try to trim paragraphs down. Just haven't had time yet. I write in a WordPerfect doc, and nothing's ever the same length when you transfer to the lj.