Unsaid and Undone
Title: Unsaid and Undone
Chapter: Oneshot.
Word Count: 2,866 It's kind of long (but worth it!)
Pairings: House/Cuddy
Rating: R (for language)
Disclaimer: Don't own House M.D. nor the characters. And yes, it is another song fic. I don't own "One" by U2 either.
Summary: We delve into the House/Cuddy relationship with some internal thought, which is always fun. I mean, it's House's and Cuddy's internal workings. I think it's interesting anyway.
Author's Note: This is just a oneshot. However, depending on the feedback of this 'thought' style, I may look into making more 'thought' oneshots and/or chapter fics. Also, to make everything a bit clearer, the thoughts (in italics) alternate between Cuddy and House in each section. But, I'm sure you'll get it. :o)
Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
Okay, this doesn’t make any sense. Greg’s patient received blood work and then... went to... no, wait, that can’t be right. How does someone have an intensive seven hour surgery after blood work? Dammit, he needs to fill out these damn papers because I can’t-
“Busy?”
Cuddy lifted her head from her engrossment in attempting to deal with House’s case file. She glared at him.
“You need to fill out forms, House.” She raised a fistful of uncompleted papers. “It makes everyone’s job that much harder when you neglect-”
“No.” House closed the office door behind him and then faced her. “It makes your job that much harder. Mission accomplished.”
Cuddy let out a sigh and looked back down at the mess on her desk. House crossed the room and seated himself across from her. He rested his cane against her desk.
I should say something about her tits. Just to see that fiery mix of hate and pride. I bet she doesn’t even realize she does it, the little tease.
“I suppose you had a lot of meetings today,” House broke the silence.
Cuddy didn’t bother to look up from her rapid scrawling. “So?”
“So the girls are out to play.” House had his eyes locked on her bowed head, waiting for her to look up. “Push up bra?”
If he could just focus his energy on something other than my breasts, mountains would move, miracles would happen-
Cuddy lifted her head and gave House a stern look. It was the exact look he was waiting for. A smirk spread across his face.
“What do you want?” she asked him.
What don’t I want?
“Say hello.” House shrugged.
He leaned forward and began rearranging the items on Cuddy’s desk. She slapped at his hands, causing him to draw them back.
“Why don’t you go check on your patient?” Cuddy told him, annoyance in her tone. It was more of a command than a suggestion.
House’s eyebrows drew together as he sat back in the chair. “Like I would choose to do that over staring at your elevated fun bags.”
I swear to God, one day I’m just going to slap that smirk right off your face.
“House, please.” Cuddy turned back to her work.
House let out an exaggerated sigh. Cuddy decided to ignore him, hoping he would get bored enough to leave. However, he simply chose to play with the items on her desk again. Cuddy finally raised her eyes back up to him. He stopped his actions.
“What?” he asked.
“Couldn’t you be bothering Wilson?” Cuddy asked. She really wanted to get her work done. “Or messing around with your team? Anything but be in here right now?”
Sure, Cuddy. I can chomp on some Vicodin maybe. Take some OxyContin. Find some Fentanyl.
“Nope,” House answered brightly.
Cuddy straightened in her chair and folded her hands on top of her desk. She locked eyes with House and spoke slowly, hoping it would sink in.
“I am currently very busy. I would very much appreciate it if you would leave. Please.”
House stared back at her. He pushed his chair back on two legs, eyeing Cuddy up, preparing his response. However, his face contorted in pain as a sharp stabbing sensation spread through his damaged thigh. With House’s balance thrown, his chair fell backward, taking him with it.
Holy shit.
“Are you okay?” Cuddy was out of her seat and hurrying around the desk in an instant.
House groaned and rolled away from the chair. Shrugging Cuddy off of him, he used the chair to stand to his feet. Cuddy’s hand was resting carefully on his arm as she looked him over.
“I’m fine,” House grumbled more in embarrassment than anything.
“You didn’t hit your head, did you?” Cuddy was trying to examine him.
Get the fuck off me. I’m fucking fine.
“No,” House answered harshly. “I said I’m fine.”
House reached for his cane and took it tightly in his hand. Cuddy watched him intently, looking for any sign indicating that he actually wasn’t fine. He moved past her, his eyes on the door, and left her office. Cuddy stared after him, feeling bad that she had so desperately wanted him to leave just moments ago.
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
“I’m sorry, I don’t hire prostitutes on weekdays.”
Cuddy shoved her foot through the closing door and used her knee to push against it. House gave in easily and let the door open. She stepped inside.
“I wanted to be sure you were okay,” Cuddy told him, her eyes following him as he limped, caneless, to his couch.
“I’m okay,” he muttered as he collapsed down onto the couch.
Cuddy moved into the living room, making sure she didn’t let her guard down. She observed him as she stood just in front of the couch.
House tore his eyes from the television and looked to her. “Something else?”
“Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
This isn’t about hitting my head, is it? Cuddy doesn’t make ‘House’ calls. Ha. I should tell Wilson that one.
Cuddy’s eyebrows drew together. “Why are you smiling?”
“Picturing Thirteen naked,” House answered and his eyes darted back to the television.
Cuddy threw her hands into the air. “Fine, I’ll go.”
It’s not like I was worrying all day anyway. Or drove out of my way to make sure you weren’t dead on the floor. Not like it matters or anything. If you were dead on the floor.
House glanced at her as Cuddy turned from him and began towards the door. He didn’t focus on the television until he heard the click of the closing door. House knew he could have said something to stop her and keep her there. But, tonight wasn’t one of those nights. He was sure she realized that as well. At least, he hoped she did.
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
“I’m busier than yesterday,” Cuddy told the figure that entered the office.
“Lies,” House accused as he crossed the room.
Maybe so, but I don’t want to talk to you.
Cuddy focused even more on the documents on her desk. “I don’t have time for games today, House, so unless this is important, please leave.”
What the hell did I do?
“What the hell did I do, Cuddy?” House kept himself about a foot from her desk.
“Nothing, you may go.” Cuddy still wouldn’t look up.
“Thanks for the permission,” House stared at her. “If this is about refusing your sex last night, I deeply apologize.”
Cuddy glared at House and he accepted this as a small triumph for getting her to look at him. He moved to the chair opposite her desk and sat down. Cuddy went back to her work.
I hope he tips backwards again and cracks his damn head open this time. It’ll teach him to stop being such an- no... that’s not very nice... even if he is an asshole.
House yawned as he studied Cuddy. She continued to ignore him as she read over a proposal of some sort. He grew steadily bored.
Why did I think this was going to be fun? GOD, Cuddy is SO boring. And she’s completely ignoring me. I could probably KILL myself and she wouldn’t even notice... maybe I should tip the chair over again.
House pushed the chair he was seated in back on its hind legs, balancing carefully. Cuddy glanced up and narrowed her eyes at him.
“Didn’t get a good enough fall the first time?” Cuddy asked him.
House let the chair drop back down on all fours with a thud. “Are you angry with me, Cuddy?”
“No,” Cuddy threw out sarcastically, “of course not.”
You’re just a fucking asshole.
“I think you’re angry with me.” House knew he was right and he would repeat his words until she was honest with him.
Cuddy tried to refocus on her work. “What gave you that impression?”
The way your cheeks are slightly flushed. And your eyes have a fire behind them that’s only that intense in anger or passion. And when you’re truly angry, you either try to ignore me or kill me with your stare.
“I can read you like an open book,” House replied.
Cuddy threw her pen down and leaned back into her chair. “This book is closed.”
Please... just... go already...
“Yeah, forget it, I never liked book analogies anyway.” House gave a shrug. “What’s bothering you, Cuddy? If it’s the sex refusal, I can make it up to you right now.”
“Sometimes I don’t even know if I should ignore you or fight you, House!” Cuddy exclaimed, her frustration overwhelming her. “You have to make everything so damn difficult.”
House placed his fingertips together and pressed them gently against his chin. “So I did make you angry, then.”
I knew she would cave. I don’t understand why she always tries to hide it. Doesn’t she know that I know her? Damn it.
“I was just checking on you last night and you reacted so...” Cuddy was at a loss for words. It was too hard to tell her feelings to House. She never knew if he would actually take them into consideration or condemn them.
“Yes, that was very nice.” House rolled his eyes and stood up. “But, I never asked it of you.”
“House, I was trying to-”
“If you plan on stopping by my house again, Cuddy,” House tightened his grip on his cane, the words harsh to his own ears as they rolled off his tongue, “make sure you’re bringing sex or drugs because I won’t answer the door otherwise.”
Cuddy’s eyebrows drew together at House’s sudden change in mood. House turned quickly and limped from the office, slamming the door behind him and leaving Cuddy quite speechless.
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
“I’m not opening the door.”
“I told you I didn’t care for your lifestyle choice of being an at home nudist.”
“Shut up.” Cuddy turned from her closed front door and began down the hallway. She glanced back slightly. “And I’m walking away now.”
“Don’t do this, Cuddy,” House raised his voice. “It’s childish.”
“Excuse me?” Cuddy stopped and faced the door. “It’s childish? Right, House, I’m the childish one here.”
House had a palm against the front door. “I should apologize.”
“You should, but you won’t.” Cuddy returned to her former spot next to the door.
Well, I’m not going to now.
“Listen... Cuddy...” House paused, listening intently. “You still there?”
She hesitated. “Yes, I’m here.”
“One night, you were so pissed because a patient had died.” House glanced around and noted the darkened night sky. “All you could think about was the fact that this twenty something kid seemed to know more about his illness than you did. Except he couldn’t figure it out and neither could you. It was a game with this stupid kid. You didn’t ask for help. And the kid died on you just so you couldn’t win.”
Cuddy let silence rest for a moment, unsure if he was finished. “That was you.”
“I know,” House replied. “I just wanted to keep you by the door.”
If I could open the door right now, I would, but you know I can’t do that, Greg... I would let you in if I could.
“Still there?” He asked when she didn’t respond.
“Yeah,” she answered quietly.
House shifted his weight, his thigh throbbing slightly. “Are you going to let me in?”
“No.”
“Cuddy, you used to-”
“I used to do a lot of things, House.”
So did I.
House frowned. “You’re a prude.”
“You’re a drug addict,” Cuddy shot back.
“Hey, mine was a two, yours was a seven.” House’s eyebrows had drawn together. “Easy on the insults there, Cuddy.”
“Goodnight, House.” She took a step back.
Please.
We’re one but we’re not the same
We’ll we hurt each other
Then we do it again
“You think I’m actually going to leave?” House asked from the other side of the door.
Cuddy let out a frustrated sigh. “House, you can’t just stand outside my house all night for no reason whatso-”
“Who said I had no reason?” he jumped in.
Cuddy’s shoulders dropped and she narrowed her eyes at the door. “Care to enlighten me then?”
No.
“We’re going through a terrible break up,” House said simply. “It’s quite sad. I’ll start shouting obscenities at you, some kind neighbor will alert the police. They’ll show up with sirens and questions, maybe we’ll both go down to station and-”
“I get it,” Cuddy cut him off.
“Let me in,” House demanded.
“No,” she hastily refused.
“LISA CUDDY, YOU BROKE MY HEART, YOU SADISTIC BITCH!” House made sure to direct his statement in all directions.
“Yeah, thanks.” Cuddy rolled her eyes.
“YOU GAVE ME SYPHILIS AND KILLED MY SOUL!”
“House-”
“I WILL SLIT MY WRISTS ON YOUR PORCH SO THE WORLD CAN KNOW OF THE LIFE YOU RUINED!”
Fuck.
Cuddy was certain her neighbors were being shaken from their sleep by the raving madman on her front porch. She yanked the door open. House smirked and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
“I hate you. I really, really...” Cuddy’s eyes began to fill with tears she couldn’t stop.
When you make her cry, asshole, it means you’ve stepped over the line. Time to pop a Vicodin.
“If you’re going to start crying, I’m going back outside.” House turned towards the door.
“After working so hard to get in, syphilis and all?” Cuddy spat. She swiped at her tears and softened. “Damn it, I’m sorry.”
“Um...” House stared at her, eyebrows drawn. “What?”
“I overreacted.” Cuddy gave a wave of her hand. “I was worried about you when I clearly shouldn’t have been. We’re fine, back on the same page, nothing to fix, House.”
We just forget things. That’s... what we do.
And I can’t be holding on to what you got
When all you got is hurt
I didn’t come here because of that.
“I didn’t come here because of that,” House told her.
She eyed him cautiously. “Then, why did you come?”
“I...” House let out a small sigh, “wanted to be sure you were okay.”
It wasn’t as honest or sincere as when Cuddy said it to him the previous night. His version was a bit more scruffy with a hint of annoyance. But, she accepted it because she had to. It’s what they did. The two of them. They accepted when they could.
“Thanks,” Cuddy replied. She sucked in a breath. “Sometimes I don’t even know how we get here, Greg.”
“I know.” He nodded.
Cuddy began to laugh and she placed a hand over her mouth, trying to stop it. House stared at her, confused by her actions.
“This is how it’s always going to be,” Cuddy said through her laugh which suddenly switched to tears again. “This is how it’s always... going to be.”
House rested his cane against the wall and placed a hand on her shoulder in an awkward attempt to comfort her. He avoided comforting others at all costs.
I know you can’t hug me, I know you won’t hug me, I know I don’t need you, but please keep your hand there.
Cuddy forced her tears to stop and paused for a brief second before shrugging House’s hand from her shoulder. He let it fall to his side.
Well it’s too late tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We’re one, but we’re not the same
“I should go.” House gave an indication to the front door as he reached for his cane.
We used to just drag these things into the bedroom.
“Yeah,” Cuddy agreed in a whisper, her face still wet with tears.
Do you miss me? Ask him. Just fucking say it.
“I’ll see you Monday, then.” House offered.
I want to kiss you and stop your tears like I used to. Like it didn’t hurt.
“No, I’ll be in tomorrow,” Cuddy replied with a shake of her head. “I assume you’ll be working on your case this weekend?”
I know you’ll be working on your case this weekend.
“That’s right,” House agreed and opened the front door.
What if I just didn’t leave?
“Tomorrow, then.” Cuddy placed a hard smile on her face. “Goodnight, Dr. House.”
I hate doing the “Doctor” thing with him.
He took a step into the night chill. “Goodnight, Dr. Cuddy.”
I hate when you do the “Doctor” thing with me.
House removed himself from her home and Cuddy lingered a second, a hand on the cold wood of the door. She watched him walk away, holding back everything she wanted to say to him. And he made his way to his car, mouth closed tightly as well.
Chapter: Oneshot.
Word Count: 2,866 It's kind of long (but worth it!)
Pairings: House/Cuddy
Rating: R (for language)
Disclaimer: Don't own House M.D. nor the characters. And yes, it is another song fic. I don't own "One" by U2 either.
Summary: We delve into the House/Cuddy relationship with some internal thought, which is always fun. I mean, it's House's and Cuddy's internal workings. I think it's interesting anyway.
Author's Note: This is just a oneshot. However, depending on the feedback of this 'thought' style, I may look into making more 'thought' oneshots and/or chapter fics. Also, to make everything a bit clearer, the thoughts (in italics) alternate between Cuddy and House in each section. But, I'm sure you'll get it. :o)
Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
Okay, this doesn’t make any sense. Greg’s patient received blood work and then... went to... no, wait, that can’t be right. How does someone have an intensive seven hour surgery after blood work? Dammit, he needs to fill out these damn papers because I can’t-
“Busy?”
Cuddy lifted her head from her engrossment in attempting to deal with House’s case file. She glared at him.
“You need to fill out forms, House.” She raised a fistful of uncompleted papers. “It makes everyone’s job that much harder when you neglect-”
“No.” House closed the office door behind him and then faced her. “It makes your job that much harder. Mission accomplished.”
Cuddy let out a sigh and looked back down at the mess on her desk. House crossed the room and seated himself across from her. He rested his cane against her desk.
I should say something about her tits. Just to see that fiery mix of hate and pride. I bet she doesn’t even realize she does it, the little tease.
“I suppose you had a lot of meetings today,” House broke the silence.
Cuddy didn’t bother to look up from her rapid scrawling. “So?”
“So the girls are out to play.” House had his eyes locked on her bowed head, waiting for her to look up. “Push up bra?”
If he could just focus his energy on something other than my breasts, mountains would move, miracles would happen-
Cuddy lifted her head and gave House a stern look. It was the exact look he was waiting for. A smirk spread across his face.
“What do you want?” she asked him.
What don’t I want?
“Say hello.” House shrugged.
He leaned forward and began rearranging the items on Cuddy’s desk. She slapped at his hands, causing him to draw them back.
“Why don’t you go check on your patient?” Cuddy told him, annoyance in her tone. It was more of a command than a suggestion.
House’s eyebrows drew together as he sat back in the chair. “Like I would choose to do that over staring at your elevated fun bags.”
I swear to God, one day I’m just going to slap that smirk right off your face.
“House, please.” Cuddy turned back to her work.
House let out an exaggerated sigh. Cuddy decided to ignore him, hoping he would get bored enough to leave. However, he simply chose to play with the items on her desk again. Cuddy finally raised her eyes back up to him. He stopped his actions.
“What?” he asked.
“Couldn’t you be bothering Wilson?” Cuddy asked. She really wanted to get her work done. “Or messing around with your team? Anything but be in here right now?”
Sure, Cuddy. I can chomp on some Vicodin maybe. Take some OxyContin. Find some Fentanyl.
“Nope,” House answered brightly.
Cuddy straightened in her chair and folded her hands on top of her desk. She locked eyes with House and spoke slowly, hoping it would sink in.
“I am currently very busy. I would very much appreciate it if you would leave. Please.”
House stared back at her. He pushed his chair back on two legs, eyeing Cuddy up, preparing his response. However, his face contorted in pain as a sharp stabbing sensation spread through his damaged thigh. With House’s balance thrown, his chair fell backward, taking him with it.
Holy shit.
“Are you okay?” Cuddy was out of her seat and hurrying around the desk in an instant.
House groaned and rolled away from the chair. Shrugging Cuddy off of him, he used the chair to stand to his feet. Cuddy’s hand was resting carefully on his arm as she looked him over.
“I’m fine,” House grumbled more in embarrassment than anything.
“You didn’t hit your head, did you?” Cuddy was trying to examine him.
Get the fuck off me. I’m fucking fine.
“No,” House answered harshly. “I said I’m fine.”
House reached for his cane and took it tightly in his hand. Cuddy watched him intently, looking for any sign indicating that he actually wasn’t fine. He moved past her, his eyes on the door, and left her office. Cuddy stared after him, feeling bad that she had so desperately wanted him to leave just moments ago.
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
“I’m sorry, I don’t hire prostitutes on weekdays.”
Cuddy shoved her foot through the closing door and used her knee to push against it. House gave in easily and let the door open. She stepped inside.
“I wanted to be sure you were okay,” Cuddy told him, her eyes following him as he limped, caneless, to his couch.
“I’m okay,” he muttered as he collapsed down onto the couch.
Cuddy moved into the living room, making sure she didn’t let her guard down. She observed him as she stood just in front of the couch.
House tore his eyes from the television and looked to her. “Something else?”
“Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.
This isn’t about hitting my head, is it? Cuddy doesn’t make ‘House’ calls. Ha. I should tell Wilson that one.
Cuddy’s eyebrows drew together. “Why are you smiling?”
“Picturing Thirteen naked,” House answered and his eyes darted back to the television.
Cuddy threw her hands into the air. “Fine, I’ll go.”
It’s not like I was worrying all day anyway. Or drove out of my way to make sure you weren’t dead on the floor. Not like it matters or anything. If you were dead on the floor.
House glanced at her as Cuddy turned from him and began towards the door. He didn’t focus on the television until he heard the click of the closing door. House knew he could have said something to stop her and keep her there. But, tonight wasn’t one of those nights. He was sure she realized that as well. At least, he hoped she did.
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
“I’m busier than yesterday,” Cuddy told the figure that entered the office.
“Lies,” House accused as he crossed the room.
Maybe so, but I don’t want to talk to you.
Cuddy focused even more on the documents on her desk. “I don’t have time for games today, House, so unless this is important, please leave.”
What the hell did I do?
“What the hell did I do, Cuddy?” House kept himself about a foot from her desk.
“Nothing, you may go.” Cuddy still wouldn’t look up.
“Thanks for the permission,” House stared at her. “If this is about refusing your sex last night, I deeply apologize.”
Cuddy glared at House and he accepted this as a small triumph for getting her to look at him. He moved to the chair opposite her desk and sat down. Cuddy went back to her work.
I hope he tips backwards again and cracks his damn head open this time. It’ll teach him to stop being such an- no... that’s not very nice... even if he is an asshole.
House yawned as he studied Cuddy. She continued to ignore him as she read over a proposal of some sort. He grew steadily bored.
Why did I think this was going to be fun? GOD, Cuddy is SO boring. And she’s completely ignoring me. I could probably KILL myself and she wouldn’t even notice... maybe I should tip the chair over again.
House pushed the chair he was seated in back on its hind legs, balancing carefully. Cuddy glanced up and narrowed her eyes at him.
“Didn’t get a good enough fall the first time?” Cuddy asked him.
House let the chair drop back down on all fours with a thud. “Are you angry with me, Cuddy?”
“No,” Cuddy threw out sarcastically, “of course not.”
You’re just a fucking asshole.
“I think you’re angry with me.” House knew he was right and he would repeat his words until she was honest with him.
Cuddy tried to refocus on her work. “What gave you that impression?”
The way your cheeks are slightly flushed. And your eyes have a fire behind them that’s only that intense in anger or passion. And when you’re truly angry, you either try to ignore me or kill me with your stare.
“I can read you like an open book,” House replied.
Cuddy threw her pen down and leaned back into her chair. “This book is closed.”
Please... just... go already...
“Yeah, forget it, I never liked book analogies anyway.” House gave a shrug. “What’s bothering you, Cuddy? If it’s the sex refusal, I can make it up to you right now.”
“Sometimes I don’t even know if I should ignore you or fight you, House!” Cuddy exclaimed, her frustration overwhelming her. “You have to make everything so damn difficult.”
House placed his fingertips together and pressed them gently against his chin. “So I did make you angry, then.”
I knew she would cave. I don’t understand why she always tries to hide it. Doesn’t she know that I know her? Damn it.
“I was just checking on you last night and you reacted so...” Cuddy was at a loss for words. It was too hard to tell her feelings to House. She never knew if he would actually take them into consideration or condemn them.
“Yes, that was very nice.” House rolled his eyes and stood up. “But, I never asked it of you.”
“House, I was trying to-”
“If you plan on stopping by my house again, Cuddy,” House tightened his grip on his cane, the words harsh to his own ears as they rolled off his tongue, “make sure you’re bringing sex or drugs because I won’t answer the door otherwise.”
Cuddy’s eyebrows drew together at House’s sudden change in mood. House turned quickly and limped from the office, slamming the door behind him and leaving Cuddy quite speechless.
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
“I’m not opening the door.”
“I told you I didn’t care for your lifestyle choice of being an at home nudist.”
“Shut up.” Cuddy turned from her closed front door and began down the hallway. She glanced back slightly. “And I’m walking away now.”
“Don’t do this, Cuddy,” House raised his voice. “It’s childish.”
“Excuse me?” Cuddy stopped and faced the door. “It’s childish? Right, House, I’m the childish one here.”
House had a palm against the front door. “I should apologize.”
“You should, but you won’t.” Cuddy returned to her former spot next to the door.
Well, I’m not going to now.
“Listen... Cuddy...” House paused, listening intently. “You still there?”
She hesitated. “Yes, I’m here.”
“One night, you were so pissed because a patient had died.” House glanced around and noted the darkened night sky. “All you could think about was the fact that this twenty something kid seemed to know more about his illness than you did. Except he couldn’t figure it out and neither could you. It was a game with this stupid kid. You didn’t ask for help. And the kid died on you just so you couldn’t win.”
Cuddy let silence rest for a moment, unsure if he was finished. “That was you.”
“I know,” House replied. “I just wanted to keep you by the door.”
If I could open the door right now, I would, but you know I can’t do that, Greg... I would let you in if I could.
“Still there?” He asked when she didn’t respond.
“Yeah,” she answered quietly.
House shifted his weight, his thigh throbbing slightly. “Are you going to let me in?”
“No.”
“Cuddy, you used to-”
“I used to do a lot of things, House.”
So did I.
House frowned. “You’re a prude.”
“You’re a drug addict,” Cuddy shot back.
“Hey, mine was a two, yours was a seven.” House’s eyebrows had drawn together. “Easy on the insults there, Cuddy.”
“Goodnight, House.” She took a step back.
Please.
We’re one but we’re not the same
We’ll we hurt each other
Then we do it again
“You think I’m actually going to leave?” House asked from the other side of the door.
Cuddy let out a frustrated sigh. “House, you can’t just stand outside my house all night for no reason whatso-”
“Who said I had no reason?” he jumped in.
Cuddy’s shoulders dropped and she narrowed her eyes at the door. “Care to enlighten me then?”
No.
“We’re going through a terrible break up,” House said simply. “It’s quite sad. I’ll start shouting obscenities at you, some kind neighbor will alert the police. They’ll show up with sirens and questions, maybe we’ll both go down to station and-”
“I get it,” Cuddy cut him off.
“Let me in,” House demanded.
“No,” she hastily refused.
“LISA CUDDY, YOU BROKE MY HEART, YOU SADISTIC BITCH!” House made sure to direct his statement in all directions.
“Yeah, thanks.” Cuddy rolled her eyes.
“YOU GAVE ME SYPHILIS AND KILLED MY SOUL!”
“House-”
“I WILL SLIT MY WRISTS ON YOUR PORCH SO THE WORLD CAN KNOW OF THE LIFE YOU RUINED!”
Fuck.
Cuddy was certain her neighbors were being shaken from their sleep by the raving madman on her front porch. She yanked the door open. House smirked and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.
“I hate you. I really, really...” Cuddy’s eyes began to fill with tears she couldn’t stop.
When you make her cry, asshole, it means you’ve stepped over the line. Time to pop a Vicodin.
“If you’re going to start crying, I’m going back outside.” House turned towards the door.
“After working so hard to get in, syphilis and all?” Cuddy spat. She swiped at her tears and softened. “Damn it, I’m sorry.”
“Um...” House stared at her, eyebrows drawn. “What?”
“I overreacted.” Cuddy gave a wave of her hand. “I was worried about you when I clearly shouldn’t have been. We’re fine, back on the same page, nothing to fix, House.”
We just forget things. That’s... what we do.
And I can’t be holding on to what you got
When all you got is hurt
I didn’t come here because of that.
“I didn’t come here because of that,” House told her.
She eyed him cautiously. “Then, why did you come?”
“I...” House let out a small sigh, “wanted to be sure you were okay.”
It wasn’t as honest or sincere as when Cuddy said it to him the previous night. His version was a bit more scruffy with a hint of annoyance. But, she accepted it because she had to. It’s what they did. The two of them. They accepted when they could.
“Thanks,” Cuddy replied. She sucked in a breath. “Sometimes I don’t even know how we get here, Greg.”
“I know.” He nodded.
Cuddy began to laugh and she placed a hand over her mouth, trying to stop it. House stared at her, confused by her actions.
“This is how it’s always going to be,” Cuddy said through her laugh which suddenly switched to tears again. “This is how it’s always... going to be.”
House rested his cane against the wall and placed a hand on her shoulder in an awkward attempt to comfort her. He avoided comforting others at all costs.
I know you can’t hug me, I know you won’t hug me, I know I don’t need you, but please keep your hand there.
Cuddy forced her tears to stop and paused for a brief second before shrugging House’s hand from her shoulder. He let it fall to his side.
Well it’s too late tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We’re one, but we’re not the same
“I should go.” House gave an indication to the front door as he reached for his cane.
We used to just drag these things into the bedroom.
“Yeah,” Cuddy agreed in a whisper, her face still wet with tears.
Do you miss me? Ask him. Just fucking say it.
“I’ll see you Monday, then.” House offered.
I want to kiss you and stop your tears like I used to. Like it didn’t hurt.
“No, I’ll be in tomorrow,” Cuddy replied with a shake of her head. “I assume you’ll be working on your case this weekend?”
I know you’ll be working on your case this weekend.
“That’s right,” House agreed and opened the front door.
What if I just didn’t leave?
“Tomorrow, then.” Cuddy placed a hard smile on her face. “Goodnight, Dr. House.”
I hate doing the “Doctor” thing with him.
He took a step into the night chill. “Goodnight, Dr. Cuddy.”
I hate when you do the “Doctor” thing with me.
House removed himself from her home and Cuddy lingered a second, a hand on the cold wood of the door. She watched him walk away, holding back everything she wanted to say to him. And he made his way to his car, mouth closed tightly as well.