Well I totally didn't mean to do this ages ago

[hark_a_suicune]

[There is a cake in front of Eusine's house.
A giant, diabetes-inducing monstrosity coated in blue frosting. Eusine couldn't have missed it, even if he tried: it is very literally sitting right in front of his door.

By which I mean he walked nose first into it as he tried to get out of his house.

The initial surprise gone (and a vigorous face-washing

Comments

[stalkerwithacap]

[This guy totally has an egg radar.
And a cake radar no, not that kind of cake]

[hark_a_suicune]

[Sadly, Eusine does not possess a troll radar and doesn't see you coming. TOO BUSY LOOKING AT WHAT IS POSSIBLY THE BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVE, SORRY. Unless the Island is trolling again and it's not what he thinks it is but Awesome Island would never do this, right? Right???]

[stalkerwithacap]

Sup.
[Creeper over your shoulder]

[hark_a_suicune]

[THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS: Eusine flails even harder because DFSHJDFGSHJD SO SURPRISED; in his flailing, he almost drops the egg; after much contorting, he manages NOT to make an impromptu omelet on the ground; finally, he pokerfaces to avoid looking like said contorting felt like a punch to his recovering shoulder.
So smooth, Mysticalman.
... Yeah, the whole situation probably looked pretty humorous.]

Gold! When did you arrive?!

[petitbreeze]

[And then there was a little blue diamond-patterned puppy following the smell of that cake. She likes sweets! She likes sweets a lot! And oh hey, she knows you, too! Is this your cake? She'll come beg watch. Not too close yet, since Rai-nii probably still doesn't like you and neither does En-nii probably so she's kind of unsure, but you seemed nice last time...]

[hark_a_suicune]

[... Oh boy oh man oh boy oh man oh boy-
Is this... a tiny Suicune?! IS THIS THE REAL LIFE?! Island, he takes back anything he ever said, you are the most amazing. Almost as amazing as he is.
Everything is Suicune and nothing hurts.

Now the question is, how can he even get you to come closer? He doesn't have his amazing suicunebait machine but-
...
Do you like cake, Bittycune? He has delicious cake. Climb into his van.]

[petitbreeze]

[Yes, a tiny Suicune. Who you have met before. Just be happy her brothers aren't nearby!

She does like cake... Maybe she'll come just a little closer... Slowly...]

[hark_a_suicune]

[Alas, Eusine is very bad at this whole human form business. You certainly aren't the only one to escape his suicunedar. Talk about a Suicune expert. 8I
But yesss, come closer! He can cut you a big slice of cake if that's what you want, you'd just have... to get closer and get it...
... not a creeper, he swears]

[topvolume]

[His heart is so broken, so so broken. He is stuck here, unable to proceed with his dreams like some ultimate punishment. Not even this shiny egg can pull him out of this slump 100%.
Maybe the enthusiastic goals and hardships of Eusine's many years of adventure and pure hope is enough to bring him back to spirits?!]

[hark_a_suicune]

[... Well, you're not the Island's resident jerkya, that's for sure. Don't look so dramatically down, young man! If you try hard enough ALL YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE!
... Or well, that's the exact kind of cheesy line he would tell you if he knew the source of your problems. But as it is, he's too busy basking in the gloriousness of his birthday present to play emotional counsellor to a depressed teen. His advice would be terrible anyway.
... Why no he's not self-centered, what makes you think that?]

[topvolume]

[Never has he seen anyone respond such a way to an egg before. Personal space? What is it? He's all behind your neck and looking at it. If he was his usual self he would've just YELLED his question; luck you!]

[hark_a_suicune]

[Eusine only knows personal space when his is the one being invaded. And IT'S BEING INVADED RIGHT NOW.
Quickly shifting so you can't see the egg anymore (but not before the usual bout of flailing). He will not let you look at it with your lecherous eyes! /overdramatic]

W-What are you DOING?!

[... It's ok Black, Eusine can be loud enough for the both of you]

It might be. OR I might be a huge troll :U

[hark_a_suicune]

[No, he definitely doesn't mind. Clearly the best way to remove this embarrassing thing is eating it, and he's definitely not doing this himself.
... Now he just wishes he knew who you are. Though considering the fact you know him and your outfit is ten shades of fabulous (and maybe the fact you basically magic'd forks and plates into existence), it's pretty obvious you're one of his fanboys.
Yes.
It totally makes sense.]

It was only a matter of time, really! I knew this day would happen!!!

[... Sorry Will, he can't hear your horribleness over the sound of his own sparkles.]

BECAUSE I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON B) (also oops hmtl fail you did not see that)

[hark_a_suicune]

[... Well, maybe he notices that snicker. He's not sure he likes it, but since he doesn't know you can hear his thoughts he's just going to assume this has nothing to do with him, right? Maybe you have some kind of debilitating illness that makes you snort every now and then, and how awfully rude of him it would be to mention it!
Yes.
It ALSO totally makes sense.
It can't be because you're making fun of him, no.]

Of course it does! It was a meeting of fate, two destinies intertwined for a greater future!

[Guess who's been reading too many shitty romance novels again? Also yes, he completely misinterpreted that snark. Oops.]

[gatorfaceisevil]

[Gatorface clamps down on the egg. It wouldn't be the first unborn Pokemon he's eaten.]

[hark_a_suicune]

What- NO!!!

[SOB, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING. Using all his strength to attempt to break your hold on the egg, which... probably isn't all that effective since his shoulder isn't exactly in top condition, but there's no way he isn't at least trying.]

Let go, you stupid pokémon!!!

[gatorfaceisevil]

[Yank yank. Let go of the food ball! Totodiles have a strong jaw structure. Good luck, Eusine.]

Ahah sob sorry it took so long, work happened :(

[hark_a_suicune]

[Yep, he'd need superhuman strength to break a Totodile's hold on its meal. BUT HIS PRECIOUS SUICUNE (?) EGG IS NOT YOUR MEAL SJHSGKSHDK HE WILL NEVER LET YOU HAVE IT
And of course, his Pokémon are all inside the house because he is a Good Guy™ and doesn't keep them locked inside their balls at all times. This must be a nightmare.
Yes.
It's only a bad dream, and he's going to wake up any second.
Any secooond now...!]

If it's food you want you can have the whole cake but don't eat that egg!!!