This Kiss, Chapter Thirty-Three
Title: This Kiss
Author: poetzproblem
Fandom Glee
Characters: Rachel Berry / Quinn Fabray
Word Count: ~5700
Rating: R
Summary: One pivotal moment can change everything.
Spoilers/Warnings: hrough A Very Glee Christmas. Then AU. Cursing, sexual references, Femslash.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters, just like to play with them.
A/N: Written for a Faberry prompt, but can't remember where. 'Rachel and Quinn share a kiss during a game of spin the bottle. From that night forward both girls desperately try to deny what they felt; what they feel. ..The other Glee kids know what’s up and attempt to play matchmaker.'
A/N2: riginally, this chapter was intended to be the end of the story, leaving the matter of Quinn's coming out to her mother unresolved, but I'm fairly sure there will be one more chapter as a sort of epilogue. I just need to finish writing it. Hoping to have it for you Monday as usual. And I realize Take Me or Leave Me was used in the show, but lyrically, it really does fit Santana better.
(Chapter One) (Chapter Two) (Chapter Three) (Chapter Four) (Chapter Five) (Chapter Six) (Chapter Seven) (Chapter Eight) (Chapter Nine) (Chapter Ten) (Chapter Eleven) (Chapter Twelve) (Chapter Thirteen) (Chapter Fourteen) (Chapter Sixteen) (Chapter Sixteen) (Chapter Seventeen) (Chapter Eighteen) (Chapter Nineteen) (Chapter Twenty) (Chapter Twenty-One) (Chapter Twenty-Two) (Chapter Twenty-Three) (Chapter Twenty-Four) (Chapter Twenty-Five)(Chapter Twenty-Six) (Chapter Twenty-Seven) (Chapter Twenty-Eight) (Chapter Twenty-Nine) ( Chapter Thirty) (Chapter Thirty-One) (Chapter Thirty-Two)
Better
A little over an hour after Santana Lopez had frantically inspected the upstairs bedrooms of her parents' house for any signs of corruption, the party had quieted down considerably. Finn left shortly after Santana had come back downstairs and cursed them all out in Spanish for being disrespectful slackers, and he'd taken Artie and Puck with him. Puckerman had made noises about trolling for hotties (or at least an extra large hunk of lasagna to sop up the alcohol in his system) at Breadstix since he wasn't going to get lucky with any of the girls at the party. Finn had only had a couple of drinks, and he'd sworn that he was okay to drive, so Kurt had let him go with a promise to text when he was safely home-that message had come fifteen minutes ago. Mike and Tina had taken off a just few minutes after that, leaving only what Santana had affectionately dubbed as the Rainbow mafia and their designated fag hag and lesbro, Mercedes and Sam.
The music was playing softly now, and the eight of them were all just lounging around on the furniture engaging in idle conversation as three of them attempted to sober up a bit before going home to face their parents. Brittany was staying the night with Santana, parent free, so neither of them really cared that they were still pleasantly buzzed.
A perfectly sober Rachel was snuggled into Quinn's side on the couch with her head resting on her girlfriend's shoulder and the fingers of her right hand tracing lazy patterns over the inside of Quinn's knee. Quinn had her arm wrapped around Rachel's waist and was currently breathing in the scent of her hair-ripe with the fragrance of Quinn's shampoo from their shower earlier. She got an odd sort of thrill from the sheer intimacy of having Rachel share her personal products and just thinking about all of the other things they'd shared made her feel a little giddy.
And a lot horny. God, I'm getting as bad as Santana, thinking about sex all the time.
Her eyes cut over to the girl, who was currently curled up with Brittany on the chair adjacent to them, and she grinned as she remembered how ridiculous Santana had looked leaping up the stairs two at a time to police the bedrooms. Quinn and Rachel had totally played her. They hadn't actually snuck off for a quickie upstairs, although there may have been a little something, something in the downstairs bathroom. Quinn would never defile the Lopez's bedroom like that. She actually liked Santana's mother, scary though the woman could be-kind of like her daughter. As for Santana's bedroom-yeah, no way would she ever get near those sheets.
Oh, I guess I still have to wash mine. And Rachel's panties.
She bit her lip at the thought, stifling a moan and shifting next to Rachel. Quinn's dress wasn't the only thing that her girlfriend had needed to borrow before the party. Noticing her sudden twitchiness, Rachel lifted her head and tore her attention away from the conversation going on around them to give Quinn a questioning look, but she just shook her head and smiled reassuringly. She didn't want Rachel think she was turning into a sex fiend, even though she probably was-because her first time with a girl? Phenomenally better than her actual first time. She finally understood what the big deal about sex was, and she really, really wanted to experience it again. With Rachel. Soon.
One thing was certain, Quinn was never, ever going to make fun of Rachel's need to research every little detail again. Okay, not true. She probably would, but it would totally always be just in good fun, because her girlfriend had mad skills with the whole applied knowledge thing-it kind of made Quinn a little nervous of what Rachel might be able to accomplish if she ever decided to actually employ those Machiavellian principles that she'd been studying.
Quinn forced herself to tune back into the chatter going on around her, and focused on Sam's voice. "So, Blaine, man, do you guys have any plans for next year? I mean, you're gonna have to really step up your game if you want to beat us," he playfully jibed, wearing a cocky grin.
Blaine shrugged. "We've got another year to think about it. I really wish I was going to New York though," he admitted with a sad glance at Kurt.
Quinn felt Rachel snap to attention at her side. "I think you should strongly consider transferring to McKinley, Blaine," Rachel urged, her dark eyes twinkling in that dangerous way they tended to every time she had one of her (crazy) ideas, and her body practically started to vibrate with energy. "You have a wonderful voice, and you're obviously very attractive." Quinn's brows furrowed as she looked at Rachel. Say what now? "You'd compliment me beautifully," Rachel continued, "and with you as my leading man," she ignored the eye-rolls from Kurt and Mercedes, "New Directions would be certain to win Nationals," she finished excitedly.
Quinn frowned, not liking that besotted look that Rachel was suddenly sporting or the undisguised interest that was spreading over Blaine's face. "Do you really think so?" he asked, clearly delighted by all of Rachel's flattery.
"Indubitably," she asserted with a nod and a smile, "and the best part, Quinn wouldn't have any reason to be jealous when we sing together because you will have absolutely no romantic interest in me," she finished proudly, reaching over to squeeze Blaine's knee.
Quinn scowled at the action, not even caring if he was gay. She was totally having flashbacks to Jesse St. Jackass and she was not going to silently sit around for the second time while watching Rachel have vocal intercourse with some other smug, little, solo-stealing prick.
Santana barked out a laugh and pointed at Blaine. "Don't you believe that for a minute, Stud. Quinn will glare daggers at you the minute you start making beautiful music with her little diva." She winked at Quinn, obviously having noticed the daggers already being mentally thrown into Blaine's back.
"No she won't," Rachel assured him.
"She totally will," Brittany argued.
Kurt leaned over and patted Blaine's other knee, mock whispering, "She does it to everyone."
Quinn felt her face heat in embarrassment, but it wasn't like she could really argue the point. She knew that she tended to be a little (okay, a lot) possessive. Rachel knew it too, but she still made a gallant attempt to defend her girlfriend. She turned to Blaine with an encouraging smile. "It really only happens with Finn, due to our complicated history," she explained. Quinn snorted at that massive understatement.
"And Puck…same reason," Santana laughingly added.
"Oh, and Jesse," Kurt needlessly reminded all of them.
"Kurt, that one time," Brittany said, pointing at the boy, who raised his eyebrows thoughtfully before he nodded in agreement.
What? I didn't glare at…okay, maybe a little bit.
Mercedes chuckled, shaking her head. "And poor Sam, when we were rehearsing for Rocky Horror, and the boy wasn't even singing with her."
"I thought she was glaring at Rachel, though," Sam revealed with a shrug, and Quinn dropped her eyes to the floor in shame, remembering the seething jealousy she'd felt watching Rachel sing Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me to a shirtless Sam. "I was actually kind of flattered at the time," he added.
God, I can't believe that I actually convinced myself that I was jealous over Sam? I was so freaking repressed.
Rachel huffed, sitting forward a little and crossing her arms. "They are completely exaggerating," she insisted.
Quinn sighed and admitted, "Well, mostly. They're right about Finn…and Puck."
"And everybody else," Santana persisted. "I'll totally prove it. C'mon, Shorty," she said, standing up and leaning over to grab one of Rachel's hands and pull her up and away from Quinn, much to Quinn's annoyance. "You and me are gonna get down and duet."
"What?" Quinn growled. She was not a fan of any idea that had her girlfriend doing anything with Santana.
Rachel's brows went up into her bangs. "Do it?"
Santana rolled her eyes and enunciated, "Du-et. You…me…and a karaoke machine."
"Hold up," Mercedes exclaimed, holding up a palm. "You have a karaoke machine?"
She shot a dirty look at the girl. "Yeah, you got a comment to make, Aretha?"
Mercedes leaned back in her chair and snickered. "Nope. I think the machine speaks for itself."
Quinn laughed along with Kurt and Sam. Not knowing Santana, Blaine didn't seem to get the joke. Santana's whole image was just taking a hell of a beating tonight.
"What song did you have in mind?" Rachel asked curiously, and Quinn frowned at how intrigued she was by the prospect of singing with Santana. As for Santana, she was still a little peeved at them from earlier-not that she hadn't deserved a little payback for advertising Quinn and Rachel's private business to all of their friends-so there was no doubt that she was looking to annoy her captain as much as possible.
Was Quinn completely aware of this fact? Yes.
Would it stop her from getting jealous? No.
Santana grinned in triumph, both at Rachel's interest and Quinn's obvious displeasure. "Just for you, Berry…we're gonna get our Broadway on. Take Me or Leave Me."
Quinn instantly started to pout when she saw Rachel's eyes sparkle with in delight. "You know Rent?"
"Santana's got the soundtrack," Brittany answered on her behalf.
"I liked the movie, okay?" Santana defended heatedly, crossing her arms.
Brittany nodded. "She does. We watch it, like, once a month, and she has a whole box of musical soundtracks in her bedroom that she knows all the words to by heart."
"Brittany!" she snapped, flushed so red that it was actually noticeable even on her dark complexion.
"Oh, my God," Kurt squealed, bouncing in his seat, "that's why you got Big Spender down on the first run through. Santana Lopez is a closet Broadway geek."
"I will hurt you, Hummel," she warned lowly, taking a single threatening step toward him.
Brittany stood up and wrapped her arms around the girl from behind, dropping her chin down onto a tense shoulder. "I love it when you sing, San. It makes me so hot," she husked.
Santana inhaled deeply and relaxed into her girlfriend for a moment before she spun around and kissed Brittany fast and deep. "Let's go, Berry," she ordered, heading for the home entertainment system on the wall and opening up the cabinet to search for the music.
Rachel bit her lip and grinned hopefully down at Quinn. "If you'll excuse me for a moment, sweetheart. The stage is calling."
Quinn sighed in defeat. She'd known the second that Santana said the word Broadway that Rachel would never refuse. "Have fun, baby," she said sweetly, and her girlfriend's smile widened before she bent down and thanked Quinn with a kiss.
Santana loaded the CD, and came to stand next to Rachel across from the couch. Brittany sat back down next to Quinn in the space that Rachel had vacated, and Mercedes and Sam got up from where they'd been sitting and rearranged themselves so that they'd have a better view of the show.
Rachel smoothed a hand down over her dress and pulled up her confident performance persona, and Quinn sat back and admired the change with a smile. She loved watching her girlfriend put on her show face. "We should take a moment to discuss the arrangement and which of us will…"
"Nope," Santana cut her off with a smirk as she picked up the stereo remote. "First verse is mine. You can take the second."
Rachel frowned, crossing her arms and visibly gearing up for a debate, of which she got no further than, "But…"
"Berry, seriously. Think about it," Santana girl instructed.
Rachel sighed and nodded. "Fine. I concede your point."
"Good girl," Santana smiled sweetly-and on her, that smile was actually kind of frightening. "Just don't dance on the coffee table," she ordered as she cued up the song. As soon as the music started, the two shifted into character-not that Santana's behavior was very far outside of her normal personality. They circled around one another as they exchanged a few vocal runs to begin, and then Santana broke away and sang to the group.
"Every single day,
I walk down the street,
I hear people say baby, so sweet."
She ran her hands down over her body as she swayed her hips, causing Brittany to playfully fan herself.
"Ever since puberty,
everybody stares at me,
boys girls, I can't help it, baby."
She pointed at Sam and Brittany with a smile and wink before she turned back to Rachel and seductively trailed her fingers along the girl's bare shoulder and arm. Quinn had to grit her teeth and remind herself that it was just a performance, but even so, she was pretty sure that Santana had already proven her point. She would glare at anybody Rachel sang a duet with because she wanted to be the only one singing with her.
"So be kind, and don't lose your mind,
just remember that I'm your baby."
Rachel picked up Santana's hands and dramatically threw them off her body as she stole the next phrase.
"Take me for what I am,
who I was meant to be."
Santana grinned, clearly enjoying their little musical battle for dominance as she jumped back in.
"And if you give a damn,
take me baby
or leave me."
Quinn had to admit that their voices really did blend well together, and she decided to just relax and enjoy the show the two were putting on. She did love watching her girl perform, and she laughed along with everyone else when Rachel pushed Santana aside to claim the spotlight.
"A tiger in a cage
can never see the sun.
This diva needs her stage, baby, let's have fun."
Rachel danced over beside Quinn and briefly dropped to her knees and proceeded to slide her palms dangerously high on Quinn's thighs, dipping under the hem of her dress and making sure to sing the next line directly to her.
"You are the one I choose.
Folks would kill to fill your shoes."
She turned back to a bored looking Santana, who was standing with her arms crossed and tapping her foot.
"You love the lime light, too, now baby."
Rachel jumped up and made her way back to Santana as she continued singing.
"So be mine and don't waste my time,
cryin' oh honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?"
The rest of the song was a back and forth between the two as they got into the lyrics, alternately working their audience and playing off one another. They were damn good, and everyone was clapping and dancing in their seats by the time they got to the final chorus.
"Take me for what I am,
who I was meant to be,
and if you give a damn,
take me baby or leave me."
Quinn wasn't exactly smiling when Santana decided to reenact the scene by hiking her leg up along Rachel's hip and then shimmying down her body, dropping to her knees and pressing her face against the girl's stomach. She would have been up and out of her seat if Brittany wasn't holding her back, but Rachel played out her part too, shoving Santana off of her as they sang the last notes. She turned her back on Santana when they spoke the final two lines together.
"Guess I'm leaving. I'm gone!"
Brittany immediately let Quinn go, jumping up and bounding over to a grinning Santana to tackle her and drag the girl into a heated kiss. Quinn was standing too, pulling her own smiling and sweaty girlfriend into her arms as the boys clapped and Mercedes gushed, "Oh my God, you guys. That was so good."
"It really was," Quinn admitted after brushing a kiss over Rachel's lips.
"You should totally perform that for the rest of the club," Sam added. "Maybe Mr. Schue will even let you do it for Nationals."
Rachel shook her head and laughed humorlessly. "I somehow doubt he would be quite that forward thinking."
"I wouldn't want you to doing that particular song for Nationals anyway," Quinn informed her, and Rachel frowned up at her.
Kurt leaned over to Blaine, pointing up at the girls. "See, told you. Glare-y Quinn is scary Quinn," and Blaine nodded in agreement. Quinn looked down at them and showed them what a real Fabray glare looked like.
"You do realize that it was just a performance?" Rachel asked in amusement.
"But you always get way too into your performances, Rach, and so does Ms. Horndog over there," she nodded in the direction of Santana and Brittany, who were practically humping one another on the chair.
"Okay, time for us to go," Kurt announced in a rush when he noticed what was going on, quickly standing up and pulling Blaine with him.
Mercedes grimaced and nodded, "Yeah, I'm out, too. I don't need to see them actually get naked."
The three started toward the door, and Kurt paused. "Ah…Sam. Are you coming?"
He was staring transfixed at the kissing girls. "Not yet," he mumbled.
Quinn started to laugh, leaning away from Rachel just enough to smack him lightly on the arm. "Get going, perv." He shook his head and smiled sheepishly at her before turning to leave.
"Please tell me you two aren't hanging around for some weird foursome," Mercedes demanded
Quinn shuddered at the thought. "God, no! We're not staying." She took Rachel's hand and started for the door just as a loud moan sounded from the chair. Mercedes and the boys hightailed it outside without another look back, but Quinn paused, suddenly in the mood to be a little bit bitchy. She tugged Rachel with her as she detoured over to her friends and gave Santana's leg a nudge with the toe of her shoe. "We're all leaving now."
"Mmm."
"It was lovely singing with you, Santana," Rachel added with a giggle.
"Uh huh."
Quinn shook her head in amazement at the two. They didn't even stop or look up-just kept at it. They absolutely had no shame. Taking a breath, she glanced down at Rachel and felt her cheeks heat. Rachel tilted her head, silently asking what she was thinking. She shook her head and leaned down over the chair, whispering to Santana, "You may want to scrub down the marble counter in the bathroom."
The girl was sitting up in a flash, knocking Brittany backwards and dislodging the girl's hands from underneath her shirt. "You fucking didn't."
Rachel started to laugh next to her, squeezing her hand. "Why, Quinn, color me impressed. We may just get you more comfortable with talking about sex, after all," and Quinn's face heated a little more, but she smiled down at Rachel. She was starting to feel a little more confident.
"Maybe, with some more practice," she teased.
Santana glared testily up at Rachel. "You're just screwing with me again, right? You didn't actually have sex in my bathroom."
"San," Brittany whined, trying to get the girl's attention back onto her with her lips and her hands.
Rachel grinned. "I would never screw with you, Santana," she promised truthfully, "and since I can see that you have other…ah…urgent matters to attend, we'll just leave you to that. Good night and thank you for a lovely party."
Quinn smiled wickedly as she allowed Rachel to lead her out. "Yeah, what she said. G'night, Santana. Brittany," she called back over her shoulder.
"Wait! You didn't answer me!" Santana shouted, trying to get up and chase after them, but being impeded by her girlfriend on top of her. "Get back here."
Quinn shot a look at Rachel as they stepped outside, and when she nodded, they took off in a sprint to the car, jumping inside just as Santana came flying out her front door with Brittany in tow, trying to drag her back inside. Quinn turned the engine over and quickly pulled away from the cub, laughing joyfully for the entire drive to Rachel's house.
When she pulled into the driveway, the good mood that she'd been riding high on all day took a little dive. It was well after midnight, and Quinn was kind of terrified. They'd blown past Rachel's curfew by a good twenty minutes.
"Ah, Rach, m-maybe I should just head home tonight," Quinn rushed out. "I mean, it's really late and I don't want to wake up your dads."
"I want you to stay," Rachel said, turning those big, dark eyes on her and that sad, pouty expression, and Quinn knew that she was about to fold like a house of cards. "My dads already expect you to sleep over, and it is late, so you shouldn't be needlessly driving around Lima," Rachel continued reasonably. Quinn didn't point out that it was only, like, a ten minute drive. She just nodded and pulled her keys out of the ignition, following Rachel up the walk and trying to be as quiet as possible as they snuck inside the house.
This wasn't exactly how Quinn had wanted to end her first day with the Berrys as Rachel's official girlfriend. Bringing their daughter home late wasn't going to win her any points with the men, and she didn't even want to think about what might happen if they found out that they'd lied about being alone all afternoon and ended up engaging in that marathon sex that Rachel had mentioned earlier in the morning. Quinn was so going to get herself tossed out on her ass and probably banned from Rachel's house and life and never be allowed to come near her again.
Leroy might even get out the shotgun, and then Rachel would probably go back to Finn, or meet some other guy like Blaine (only not gay) who'd be her perfect musical match, or some hot, sexy girl like Santana with a sultry singing voice that never went sharp, and Rachel wasn't a virgin anymore, and God knew she wasn't shy about sex, so whoever she was with next would get to kiss her and touch her and see her naked and Quinn would have to personally slushy that person everyday for the rest of high school and…
Oh my God, you're rambling. Stop it! You are totally overreacting.
"Good morning, girls," Leroy called out softly, clicking on the light at the top of the stairway. Quinn literally jumped, bracing one hand on the railing while the other reflexively tightened around Rachel's. "Because it is morning," he continued in a disarmingly mild tone, "seeing that it is after midnight."
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Berry," Quinn whispered, reverting to the more formal address. She was getting kicked out-she could just feel it.
Rachel glanced back at her with a frown before looking up at Leroy. "It's entirely my fault, daddy. We were all having so much fun at the party, talking and laughing, and then Santana requested that I sing a duet with her, and you know that I can simply never resist the chance to perform."
He studied the girls for a long minute-his eyes taking on a wary acceptance-and sighing tiredly, he shook his head. "Don't wake your dad up," he instructed, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms. "And don't forget to keep the door open."
"Yes, daddy," Rachel promised, tugging on Quinn's hand as she continued up the steps. When they crested the top, Leroy looked his daughter over.
"Pretty dress, Rae. I don't recall you leaving the house in that."
Quinn felt Rachel tense a little, but she smiled at her father like it was nothing. "Quinn let me borrow it for the party. Do you like it?"
The man nodded, humming in affirmation and glancing at Quinn. "That was nice of you, Quinn. How's your mother, by the way?"
Now it was Quinn's turn to tense (more than she already was) and attempt a completely natural smile. "Oh, she's good. She sends her regards."
Not even a lie. I just didn't bother to mention that she'd done it this morning.
"Uh huh." He didn't look convinced, but Quinn forced herself to hold his gaze. Leroy finally looked away and shook his head again, bending to wrap his daughter in a quick hug and press a kiss to her head. "Night, baby girl. Night, Quinn," he added. "See you in the morning. Well, later in the morning, anyway," he finished with a chuckle.
"Good night, daddy."
"Good night, Mr.…"
"Quinn," he stopped her. "Drop the mister, okay?"
She nodded. "Good night, Leroy," and he gave her little half-smile and turned to disappear back into his room. Quinn took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
Oh, God, he knows what we've been up to. He's going to kill me in my sleep.
Rachel pulled her inside her bedroom and closed the door, and Quinn sucked in a harsh breath, dropping her bag as she lunged for the knob. "Rachel. Door open!"
Rachel pressed a hand to the door to keep her from opening it again. "I don't think they'll mind if we close it for ten minutes while we change our clothes."
Quinn looked at her incredulously. "You really like to bend the rules to the breaking point, don't you? Your daddy just caught us sneaking in after your curfew and probably looking like we just spent half the day having sex!"
Rachel grinned proudly. "You actually said it and you didn't even stutter."
"Will you be serious?" she demanded with a raised brow. "Santana figured out what we were up to just by looking at us tonight. Do you really think your own father didn't see it too?"
Rachel sighed. "Daddy is far more open-minded about sex than dad."
"But he's the one with the shotgun," Quinn hissed.
Rachel shrugged. "Well, yes, but you can't get me pregnant, so I think he's a little more accepting of the possibility than he had been with Finn. A complete double standard if you ask me, but there you have it."
Quinn stiffened and paced over to the bed, sinking down onto the mattress and dropping her head into her hands. She really wished her girlfriend hadn't just brought up that particular point. It suddenly hit her hard that she'd been in that very position last year at this time. She heard Rachel gasp, and felt the bed dip next to her.
"Oh, Quinn, I'm sorry. That was completely insensitive of me. I wasn't thinking."
Quinn sighed and lifted her head. "You shouldn't have to censor your words just because I screwed up my life," she muttered.
Rachel reached for her hand, shaking her head in denial. "You did not screw up your life, sweetheart. You made a mistake, but you're stronger for it."
"I don't feel very strong right now," Quinn admitted shakily.
"It's this Thursday, isn't it?" she asked gently.
Quinn closed her eyes and tipped her head back, nodding slightly. In five days, her daught-Beth-would be a year old, and she felt like the worst person in the world because she was happily throwing herself into this new life and her new relationship with Rachel and not allowing herself to even think about the baby girl she'd given birth to. Competing at Regionals had forced a few memories to the forefront-how could it not when her water had broken right after their performance last year?-but she'd pushed them down by focusing on Rachel and confessing her love and the rush of winning. Thankfully, the competition had occurred a week earlier this year than last, so it didn't actually mark Beth's birthday. That day was still looming on the horizon.
It was too easy for Quinn to forget. Until it wasn't.
An offhanded comment about one of the side-benefits of lesbian sex shouldn't have been the thing to dredge up all of the memories and heartache that came with them. "I didn't even really think about it until just now," Quinn finally confessed, reaching up to wipe away an errant tear.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Rachel asked gently.
Quinn shook her head and sniffled. "No. I really don't. Not tonight. Or this morning…whatever." There would be more than enough time to talk about Beth and all of her latent guilt. She'd probably fall apart on Thursday and snap at everyone who got too close. Her mom would undoubtedly bring it up and there would be tears. And Puck…God, poor Puck. Quinn would be a mess before she even got to school, and she wouldn't want to deal with any of it, but she wouldn't really have a choice, because it had happened and people would remember. Quinn would remember, but she didn't want to do it tonight. She looked at Rachel and sighed tiredly, "I really just want to go to sleep right now."
Rachel looked like she wanted to push the point, but she stayed silent on the subject and nodded in understanding. She got up from the bed and grabbed Quinn's duffle bag from where it had dropped to the floor, holding it out to her. "You can have the bathroom first."
Quinn smiled gratefully. "Thanks."
She kicked off her shoes and shrugged out of her sweater before padding into the bathroom and shimmying out of her dress. She washed her face, and then stared at her own reflection in the mirror for a few minutes. She didn't really look all that different from the person she'd been last year, but at least she could finally meet her own eyes without shying away. She still had a multitude of issues to work through, and God only knew what would happen to her when (if) she decided to come out to her mother, but she could finally see the Quinn that she wanted to be coming into focus through the smoke and mirrors. She might still be a little broken, but she felt like she was on the mend.
Quinn pulled out a tank top and a her favorite comfy sleep pants and put them on before she brushed her teeth and then brushed out her hair. When she came out of the bathroom, she saw Rachel turning down her bed. The girl was already changed into a well-worn t-shirt and obscenely short sleep shorts. She stifled a groan, knowing that she'd have to keep her hands to herself tonight, since Rachel had reopened her bedroom door as instructed.
Rachel glanced back over her shoulder with a grin. "You look all fresh and comfortable."
"And kind of exhausted."
Rachel stepped over to her and ran her hands up Quinn's arms, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. "Go to bed, sweetheart."
Quinn nodded as her girlfriend released her and went to take her turn in the bathroom. Quinn fell onto the bed and sank into the mattress, breathing in Rachel's lingering scent as she felt the momentous events of the day start to catch up with her fast. She was only half-aware of the bed eventually dipping under Rachel's weight and the glow of the lamp clicking off as she let herself drift into a blissful, semi-conscious state for a few minutes, but something just didn't feel right. Her eyes popped open and she turned her head to the right. She could barely make out the shadow of Rachel's profile next to her.
"Rach," she whispered.
"Hmm?"
"Are you awake?" she asked stupidly.
"Obviously."
She sucked her lower lip between her teeth and debated whether or not to ask. In the end, her need won out over her better judgment. "Do you…do you think your fathers would mind if we…cuddled a little?"
"Possibly," was uttered after a moment of hesitation.
Quinn's heart fell and she felt her eyes start to sting a little. "Oh," she mumbled dejectedly.
"I'm teasing you, Quinn," Rachel assured her, turning on her side and shifting closer to nuzzle her face into Quinn's shoulder and drape an arm across her midriff. "I think a little cuddling is acceptable," and Quinn happily readjusted her position so that she could hold Rachel. "If past experiences are any indication, we tend to wake up tangled together anyway, so we might as well enjoy falling asleep like this," Rachel pointed out reasonably.
Quinn smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Rachel's head. "Hey, Rach," she murmured.
"Yes, Quinn."
"Love you."
"Back atcha."
Quinn frowned at the flippant reply. "Rachel?"
She felt the girl smile against her shoulder. "I love you, too, Quinn."
"Better," she breathed out on a content sigh, letting sleep finally come to claim her and whisk her away into dreams filled with laughter and music and sweet whispers of love-confident that she'd wake up surrounded by the very same things.
And waking up to Rachel was so much better.
Song:
"Take Me or Leave Me," from Rent.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Author: poetzproblem
Fandom Glee
Characters: Rachel Berry / Quinn Fabray
Word Count: ~5700
Rating: R
Summary: One pivotal moment can change everything.
Spoilers/Warnings: hrough A Very Glee Christmas. Then AU. Cursing, sexual references, Femslash.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters, just like to play with them.
A/N: Written for a Faberry prompt, but can't remember where. 'Rachel and Quinn share a kiss during a game of spin the bottle. From that night forward both girls desperately try to deny what they felt; what they feel. ..The other Glee kids know what’s up and attempt to play matchmaker.'
A/N2: riginally, this chapter was intended to be the end of the story, leaving the matter of Quinn's coming out to her mother unresolved, but I'm fairly sure there will be one more chapter as a sort of epilogue. I just need to finish writing it. Hoping to have it for you Monday as usual. And I realize Take Me or Leave Me was used in the show, but lyrically, it really does fit Santana better.
(Chapter One) (Chapter Two) (Chapter Three) (Chapter Four) (Chapter Five) (Chapter Six) (Chapter Seven) (Chapter Eight) (Chapter Nine) (Chapter Ten) (Chapter Eleven) (Chapter Twelve) (Chapter Thirteen) (Chapter Fourteen) (Chapter Sixteen) (Chapter Sixteen) (Chapter Seventeen) (Chapter Eighteen) (Chapter Nineteen) (Chapter Twenty) (Chapter Twenty-One) (Chapter Twenty-Two) (Chapter Twenty-Three) (Chapter Twenty-Four) (Chapter Twenty-Five)(Chapter Twenty-Six) (Chapter Twenty-Seven) (Chapter Twenty-Eight) (Chapter Twenty-Nine) ( Chapter Thirty) (Chapter Thirty-One) (Chapter Thirty-Two)
Better
A little over an hour after Santana Lopez had frantically inspected the upstairs bedrooms of her parents' house for any signs of corruption, the party had quieted down considerably. Finn left shortly after Santana had come back downstairs and cursed them all out in Spanish for being disrespectful slackers, and he'd taken Artie and Puck with him. Puckerman had made noises about trolling for hotties (or at least an extra large hunk of lasagna to sop up the alcohol in his system) at Breadstix since he wasn't going to get lucky with any of the girls at the party. Finn had only had a couple of drinks, and he'd sworn that he was okay to drive, so Kurt had let him go with a promise to text when he was safely home-that message had come fifteen minutes ago. Mike and Tina had taken off a just few minutes after that, leaving only what Santana had affectionately dubbed as the Rainbow mafia and their designated fag hag and lesbro, Mercedes and Sam.
The music was playing softly now, and the eight of them were all just lounging around on the furniture engaging in idle conversation as three of them attempted to sober up a bit before going home to face their parents. Brittany was staying the night with Santana, parent free, so neither of them really cared that they were still pleasantly buzzed.
A perfectly sober Rachel was snuggled into Quinn's side on the couch with her head resting on her girlfriend's shoulder and the fingers of her right hand tracing lazy patterns over the inside of Quinn's knee. Quinn had her arm wrapped around Rachel's waist and was currently breathing in the scent of her hair-ripe with the fragrance of Quinn's shampoo from their shower earlier. She got an odd sort of thrill from the sheer intimacy of having Rachel share her personal products and just thinking about all of the other things they'd shared made her feel a little giddy.
And a lot horny. God, I'm getting as bad as Santana, thinking about sex all the time.
Her eyes cut over to the girl, who was currently curled up with Brittany on the chair adjacent to them, and she grinned as she remembered how ridiculous Santana had looked leaping up the stairs two at a time to police the bedrooms. Quinn and Rachel had totally played her. They hadn't actually snuck off for a quickie upstairs, although there may have been a little something, something in the downstairs bathroom. Quinn would never defile the Lopez's bedroom like that. She actually liked Santana's mother, scary though the woman could be-kind of like her daughter. As for Santana's bedroom-yeah, no way would she ever get near those sheets.
Oh, I guess I still have to wash mine. And Rachel's panties.
She bit her lip at the thought, stifling a moan and shifting next to Rachel. Quinn's dress wasn't the only thing that her girlfriend had needed to borrow before the party. Noticing her sudden twitchiness, Rachel lifted her head and tore her attention away from the conversation going on around them to give Quinn a questioning look, but she just shook her head and smiled reassuringly. She didn't want Rachel think she was turning into a sex fiend, even though she probably was-because her first time with a girl? Phenomenally better than her actual first time. She finally understood what the big deal about sex was, and she really, really wanted to experience it again. With Rachel. Soon.
One thing was certain, Quinn was never, ever going to make fun of Rachel's need to research every little detail again. Okay, not true. She probably would, but it would totally always be just in good fun, because her girlfriend had mad skills with the whole applied knowledge thing-it kind of made Quinn a little nervous of what Rachel might be able to accomplish if she ever decided to actually employ those Machiavellian principles that she'd been studying.
Quinn forced herself to tune back into the chatter going on around her, and focused on Sam's voice. "So, Blaine, man, do you guys have any plans for next year? I mean, you're gonna have to really step up your game if you want to beat us," he playfully jibed, wearing a cocky grin.
Blaine shrugged. "We've got another year to think about it. I really wish I was going to New York though," he admitted with a sad glance at Kurt.
Quinn felt Rachel snap to attention at her side. "I think you should strongly consider transferring to McKinley, Blaine," Rachel urged, her dark eyes twinkling in that dangerous way they tended to every time she had one of her (crazy) ideas, and her body practically started to vibrate with energy. "You have a wonderful voice, and you're obviously very attractive." Quinn's brows furrowed as she looked at Rachel. Say what now? "You'd compliment me beautifully," Rachel continued, "and with you as my leading man," she ignored the eye-rolls from Kurt and Mercedes, "New Directions would be certain to win Nationals," she finished excitedly.
Quinn frowned, not liking that besotted look that Rachel was suddenly sporting or the undisguised interest that was spreading over Blaine's face. "Do you really think so?" he asked, clearly delighted by all of Rachel's flattery.
"Indubitably," she asserted with a nod and a smile, "and the best part, Quinn wouldn't have any reason to be jealous when we sing together because you will have absolutely no romantic interest in me," she finished proudly, reaching over to squeeze Blaine's knee.
Quinn scowled at the action, not even caring if he was gay. She was totally having flashbacks to Jesse St. Jackass and she was not going to silently sit around for the second time while watching Rachel have vocal intercourse with some other smug, little, solo-stealing prick.
Santana barked out a laugh and pointed at Blaine. "Don't you believe that for a minute, Stud. Quinn will glare daggers at you the minute you start making beautiful music with her little diva." She winked at Quinn, obviously having noticed the daggers already being mentally thrown into Blaine's back.
"No she won't," Rachel assured him.
"She totally will," Brittany argued.
Kurt leaned over and patted Blaine's other knee, mock whispering, "She does it to everyone."
Quinn felt her face heat in embarrassment, but it wasn't like she could really argue the point. She knew that she tended to be a little (okay, a lot) possessive. Rachel knew it too, but she still made a gallant attempt to defend her girlfriend. She turned to Blaine with an encouraging smile. "It really only happens with Finn, due to our complicated history," she explained. Quinn snorted at that massive understatement.
"And Puck…same reason," Santana laughingly added.
"Oh, and Jesse," Kurt needlessly reminded all of them.
"Kurt, that one time," Brittany said, pointing at the boy, who raised his eyebrows thoughtfully before he nodded in agreement.
What? I didn't glare at…okay, maybe a little bit.
Mercedes chuckled, shaking her head. "And poor Sam, when we were rehearsing for Rocky Horror, and the boy wasn't even singing with her."
"I thought she was glaring at Rachel, though," Sam revealed with a shrug, and Quinn dropped her eyes to the floor in shame, remembering the seething jealousy she'd felt watching Rachel sing Touch-a Touch-a Touch Me to a shirtless Sam. "I was actually kind of flattered at the time," he added.
God, I can't believe that I actually convinced myself that I was jealous over Sam? I was so freaking repressed.
Rachel huffed, sitting forward a little and crossing her arms. "They are completely exaggerating," she insisted.
Quinn sighed and admitted, "Well, mostly. They're right about Finn…and Puck."
"And everybody else," Santana persisted. "I'll totally prove it. C'mon, Shorty," she said, standing up and leaning over to grab one of Rachel's hands and pull her up and away from Quinn, much to Quinn's annoyance. "You and me are gonna get down and duet."
"What?" Quinn growled. She was not a fan of any idea that had her girlfriend doing anything with Santana.
Rachel's brows went up into her bangs. "Do it?"
Santana rolled her eyes and enunciated, "Du-et. You…me…and a karaoke machine."
"Hold up," Mercedes exclaimed, holding up a palm. "You have a karaoke machine?"
She shot a dirty look at the girl. "Yeah, you got a comment to make, Aretha?"
Mercedes leaned back in her chair and snickered. "Nope. I think the machine speaks for itself."
Quinn laughed along with Kurt and Sam. Not knowing Santana, Blaine didn't seem to get the joke. Santana's whole image was just taking a hell of a beating tonight.
"What song did you have in mind?" Rachel asked curiously, and Quinn frowned at how intrigued she was by the prospect of singing with Santana. As for Santana, she was still a little peeved at them from earlier-not that she hadn't deserved a little payback for advertising Quinn and Rachel's private business to all of their friends-so there was no doubt that she was looking to annoy her captain as much as possible.
Was Quinn completely aware of this fact? Yes.
Would it stop her from getting jealous? No.
Santana grinned in triumph, both at Rachel's interest and Quinn's obvious displeasure. "Just for you, Berry…we're gonna get our Broadway on. Take Me or Leave Me."
Quinn instantly started to pout when she saw Rachel's eyes sparkle with in delight. "You know Rent?"
"Santana's got the soundtrack," Brittany answered on her behalf.
"I liked the movie, okay?" Santana defended heatedly, crossing her arms.
Brittany nodded. "She does. We watch it, like, once a month, and she has a whole box of musical soundtracks in her bedroom that she knows all the words to by heart."
"Brittany!" she snapped, flushed so red that it was actually noticeable even on her dark complexion.
"Oh, my God," Kurt squealed, bouncing in his seat, "that's why you got Big Spender down on the first run through. Santana Lopez is a closet Broadway geek."
"I will hurt you, Hummel," she warned lowly, taking a single threatening step toward him.
Brittany stood up and wrapped her arms around the girl from behind, dropping her chin down onto a tense shoulder. "I love it when you sing, San. It makes me so hot," she husked.
Santana inhaled deeply and relaxed into her girlfriend for a moment before she spun around and kissed Brittany fast and deep. "Let's go, Berry," she ordered, heading for the home entertainment system on the wall and opening up the cabinet to search for the music.
Rachel bit her lip and grinned hopefully down at Quinn. "If you'll excuse me for a moment, sweetheart. The stage is calling."
Quinn sighed in defeat. She'd known the second that Santana said the word Broadway that Rachel would never refuse. "Have fun, baby," she said sweetly, and her girlfriend's smile widened before she bent down and thanked Quinn with a kiss.
Santana loaded the CD, and came to stand next to Rachel across from the couch. Brittany sat back down next to Quinn in the space that Rachel had vacated, and Mercedes and Sam got up from where they'd been sitting and rearranged themselves so that they'd have a better view of the show.
Rachel smoothed a hand down over her dress and pulled up her confident performance persona, and Quinn sat back and admired the change with a smile. She loved watching her girlfriend put on her show face. "We should take a moment to discuss the arrangement and which of us will…"
"Nope," Santana cut her off with a smirk as she picked up the stereo remote. "First verse is mine. You can take the second."
Rachel frowned, crossing her arms and visibly gearing up for a debate, of which she got no further than, "But…"
"Berry, seriously. Think about it," Santana girl instructed.
Rachel sighed and nodded. "Fine. I concede your point."
"Good girl," Santana smiled sweetly-and on her, that smile was actually kind of frightening. "Just don't dance on the coffee table," she ordered as she cued up the song. As soon as the music started, the two shifted into character-not that Santana's behavior was very far outside of her normal personality. They circled around one another as they exchanged a few vocal runs to begin, and then Santana broke away and sang to the group.
"Every single day,
I walk down the street,
I hear people say baby, so sweet."
She ran her hands down over her body as she swayed her hips, causing Brittany to playfully fan herself.
"Ever since puberty,
everybody stares at me,
boys girls, I can't help it, baby."
She pointed at Sam and Brittany with a smile and wink before she turned back to Rachel and seductively trailed her fingers along the girl's bare shoulder and arm. Quinn had to grit her teeth and remind herself that it was just a performance, but even so, she was pretty sure that Santana had already proven her point. She would glare at anybody Rachel sang a duet with because she wanted to be the only one singing with her.
"So be kind, and don't lose your mind,
just remember that I'm your baby."
Rachel picked up Santana's hands and dramatically threw them off her body as she stole the next phrase.
"Take me for what I am,
who I was meant to be."
Santana grinned, clearly enjoying their little musical battle for dominance as she jumped back in.
"And if you give a damn,
take me baby
or leave me."
Quinn had to admit that their voices really did blend well together, and she decided to just relax and enjoy the show the two were putting on. She did love watching her girl perform, and she laughed along with everyone else when Rachel pushed Santana aside to claim the spotlight.
"A tiger in a cage
can never see the sun.
This diva needs her stage, baby, let's have fun."
Rachel danced over beside Quinn and briefly dropped to her knees and proceeded to slide her palms dangerously high on Quinn's thighs, dipping under the hem of her dress and making sure to sing the next line directly to her.
"You are the one I choose.
Folks would kill to fill your shoes."
She turned back to a bored looking Santana, who was standing with her arms crossed and tapping her foot.
"You love the lime light, too, now baby."
Rachel jumped up and made her way back to Santana as she continued singing.
"So be mine and don't waste my time,
cryin' oh honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?"
The rest of the song was a back and forth between the two as they got into the lyrics, alternately working their audience and playing off one another. They were damn good, and everyone was clapping and dancing in their seats by the time they got to the final chorus.
"Take me for what I am,
who I was meant to be,
and if you give a damn,
take me baby or leave me."
Quinn wasn't exactly smiling when Santana decided to reenact the scene by hiking her leg up along Rachel's hip and then shimmying down her body, dropping to her knees and pressing her face against the girl's stomach. She would have been up and out of her seat if Brittany wasn't holding her back, but Rachel played out her part too, shoving Santana off of her as they sang the last notes. She turned her back on Santana when they spoke the final two lines together.
"Guess I'm leaving. I'm gone!"
Brittany immediately let Quinn go, jumping up and bounding over to a grinning Santana to tackle her and drag the girl into a heated kiss. Quinn was standing too, pulling her own smiling and sweaty girlfriend into her arms as the boys clapped and Mercedes gushed, "Oh my God, you guys. That was so good."
"It really was," Quinn admitted after brushing a kiss over Rachel's lips.
"You should totally perform that for the rest of the club," Sam added. "Maybe Mr. Schue will even let you do it for Nationals."
Rachel shook her head and laughed humorlessly. "I somehow doubt he would be quite that forward thinking."
"I wouldn't want you to doing that particular song for Nationals anyway," Quinn informed her, and Rachel frowned up at her.
Kurt leaned over to Blaine, pointing up at the girls. "See, told you. Glare-y Quinn is scary Quinn," and Blaine nodded in agreement. Quinn looked down at them and showed them what a real Fabray glare looked like.
"You do realize that it was just a performance?" Rachel asked in amusement.
"But you always get way too into your performances, Rach, and so does Ms. Horndog over there," she nodded in the direction of Santana and Brittany, who were practically humping one another on the chair.
"Okay, time for us to go," Kurt announced in a rush when he noticed what was going on, quickly standing up and pulling Blaine with him.
Mercedes grimaced and nodded, "Yeah, I'm out, too. I don't need to see them actually get naked."
The three started toward the door, and Kurt paused. "Ah…Sam. Are you coming?"
He was staring transfixed at the kissing girls. "Not yet," he mumbled.
Quinn started to laugh, leaning away from Rachel just enough to smack him lightly on the arm. "Get going, perv." He shook his head and smiled sheepishly at her before turning to leave.
"Please tell me you two aren't hanging around for some weird foursome," Mercedes demanded
Quinn shuddered at the thought. "God, no! We're not staying." She took Rachel's hand and started for the door just as a loud moan sounded from the chair. Mercedes and the boys hightailed it outside without another look back, but Quinn paused, suddenly in the mood to be a little bit bitchy. She tugged Rachel with her as she detoured over to her friends and gave Santana's leg a nudge with the toe of her shoe. "We're all leaving now."
"Mmm."
"It was lovely singing with you, Santana," Rachel added with a giggle.
"Uh huh."
Quinn shook her head in amazement at the two. They didn't even stop or look up-just kept at it. They absolutely had no shame. Taking a breath, she glanced down at Rachel and felt her cheeks heat. Rachel tilted her head, silently asking what she was thinking. She shook her head and leaned down over the chair, whispering to Santana, "You may want to scrub down the marble counter in the bathroom."
The girl was sitting up in a flash, knocking Brittany backwards and dislodging the girl's hands from underneath her shirt. "You fucking didn't."
Rachel started to laugh next to her, squeezing her hand. "Why, Quinn, color me impressed. We may just get you more comfortable with talking about sex, after all," and Quinn's face heated a little more, but she smiled down at Rachel. She was starting to feel a little more confident.
"Maybe, with some more practice," she teased.
Santana glared testily up at Rachel. "You're just screwing with me again, right? You didn't actually have sex in my bathroom."
"San," Brittany whined, trying to get the girl's attention back onto her with her lips and her hands.
Rachel grinned. "I would never screw with you, Santana," she promised truthfully, "and since I can see that you have other…ah…urgent matters to attend, we'll just leave you to that. Good night and thank you for a lovely party."
Quinn smiled wickedly as she allowed Rachel to lead her out. "Yeah, what she said. G'night, Santana. Brittany," she called back over her shoulder.
"Wait! You didn't answer me!" Santana shouted, trying to get up and chase after them, but being impeded by her girlfriend on top of her. "Get back here."
Quinn shot a look at Rachel as they stepped outside, and when she nodded, they took off in a sprint to the car, jumping inside just as Santana came flying out her front door with Brittany in tow, trying to drag her back inside. Quinn turned the engine over and quickly pulled away from the cub, laughing joyfully for the entire drive to Rachel's house.
When she pulled into the driveway, the good mood that she'd been riding high on all day took a little dive. It was well after midnight, and Quinn was kind of terrified. They'd blown past Rachel's curfew by a good twenty minutes.
"Ah, Rach, m-maybe I should just head home tonight," Quinn rushed out. "I mean, it's really late and I don't want to wake up your dads."
"I want you to stay," Rachel said, turning those big, dark eyes on her and that sad, pouty expression, and Quinn knew that she was about to fold like a house of cards. "My dads already expect you to sleep over, and it is late, so you shouldn't be needlessly driving around Lima," Rachel continued reasonably. Quinn didn't point out that it was only, like, a ten minute drive. She just nodded and pulled her keys out of the ignition, following Rachel up the walk and trying to be as quiet as possible as they snuck inside the house.
This wasn't exactly how Quinn had wanted to end her first day with the Berrys as Rachel's official girlfriend. Bringing their daughter home late wasn't going to win her any points with the men, and she didn't even want to think about what might happen if they found out that they'd lied about being alone all afternoon and ended up engaging in that marathon sex that Rachel had mentioned earlier in the morning. Quinn was so going to get herself tossed out on her ass and probably banned from Rachel's house and life and never be allowed to come near her again.
Leroy might even get out the shotgun, and then Rachel would probably go back to Finn, or meet some other guy like Blaine (only not gay) who'd be her perfect musical match, or some hot, sexy girl like Santana with a sultry singing voice that never went sharp, and Rachel wasn't a virgin anymore, and God knew she wasn't shy about sex, so whoever she was with next would get to kiss her and touch her and see her naked and Quinn would have to personally slushy that person everyday for the rest of high school and…
Oh my God, you're rambling. Stop it! You are totally overreacting.
"Good morning, girls," Leroy called out softly, clicking on the light at the top of the stairway. Quinn literally jumped, bracing one hand on the railing while the other reflexively tightened around Rachel's. "Because it is morning," he continued in a disarmingly mild tone, "seeing that it is after midnight."
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Berry," Quinn whispered, reverting to the more formal address. She was getting kicked out-she could just feel it.
Rachel glanced back at her with a frown before looking up at Leroy. "It's entirely my fault, daddy. We were all having so much fun at the party, talking and laughing, and then Santana requested that I sing a duet with her, and you know that I can simply never resist the chance to perform."
He studied the girls for a long minute-his eyes taking on a wary acceptance-and sighing tiredly, he shook his head. "Don't wake your dad up," he instructed, leaning back against the wall and crossing his arms. "And don't forget to keep the door open."
"Yes, daddy," Rachel promised, tugging on Quinn's hand as she continued up the steps. When they crested the top, Leroy looked his daughter over.
"Pretty dress, Rae. I don't recall you leaving the house in that."
Quinn felt Rachel tense a little, but she smiled at her father like it was nothing. "Quinn let me borrow it for the party. Do you like it?"
The man nodded, humming in affirmation and glancing at Quinn. "That was nice of you, Quinn. How's your mother, by the way?"
Now it was Quinn's turn to tense (more than she already was) and attempt a completely natural smile. "Oh, she's good. She sends her regards."
Not even a lie. I just didn't bother to mention that she'd done it this morning.
"Uh huh." He didn't look convinced, but Quinn forced herself to hold his gaze. Leroy finally looked away and shook his head again, bending to wrap his daughter in a quick hug and press a kiss to her head. "Night, baby girl. Night, Quinn," he added. "See you in the morning. Well, later in the morning, anyway," he finished with a chuckle.
"Good night, daddy."
"Good night, Mr.…"
"Quinn," he stopped her. "Drop the mister, okay?"
She nodded. "Good night, Leroy," and he gave her little half-smile and turned to disappear back into his room. Quinn took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
Oh, God, he knows what we've been up to. He's going to kill me in my sleep.
Rachel pulled her inside her bedroom and closed the door, and Quinn sucked in a harsh breath, dropping her bag as she lunged for the knob. "Rachel. Door open!"
Rachel pressed a hand to the door to keep her from opening it again. "I don't think they'll mind if we close it for ten minutes while we change our clothes."
Quinn looked at her incredulously. "You really like to bend the rules to the breaking point, don't you? Your daddy just caught us sneaking in after your curfew and probably looking like we just spent half the day having sex!"
Rachel grinned proudly. "You actually said it and you didn't even stutter."
"Will you be serious?" she demanded with a raised brow. "Santana figured out what we were up to just by looking at us tonight. Do you really think your own father didn't see it too?"
Rachel sighed. "Daddy is far more open-minded about sex than dad."
"But he's the one with the shotgun," Quinn hissed.
Rachel shrugged. "Well, yes, but you can't get me pregnant, so I think he's a little more accepting of the possibility than he had been with Finn. A complete double standard if you ask me, but there you have it."
Quinn stiffened and paced over to the bed, sinking down onto the mattress and dropping her head into her hands. She really wished her girlfriend hadn't just brought up that particular point. It suddenly hit her hard that she'd been in that very position last year at this time. She heard Rachel gasp, and felt the bed dip next to her.
"Oh, Quinn, I'm sorry. That was completely insensitive of me. I wasn't thinking."
Quinn sighed and lifted her head. "You shouldn't have to censor your words just because I screwed up my life," she muttered.
Rachel reached for her hand, shaking her head in denial. "You did not screw up your life, sweetheart. You made a mistake, but you're stronger for it."
"I don't feel very strong right now," Quinn admitted shakily.
"It's this Thursday, isn't it?" she asked gently.
Quinn closed her eyes and tipped her head back, nodding slightly. In five days, her daught-Beth-would be a year old, and she felt like the worst person in the world because she was happily throwing herself into this new life and her new relationship with Rachel and not allowing herself to even think about the baby girl she'd given birth to. Competing at Regionals had forced a few memories to the forefront-how could it not when her water had broken right after their performance last year?-but she'd pushed them down by focusing on Rachel and confessing her love and the rush of winning. Thankfully, the competition had occurred a week earlier this year than last, so it didn't actually mark Beth's birthday. That day was still looming on the horizon.
It was too easy for Quinn to forget. Until it wasn't.
An offhanded comment about one of the side-benefits of lesbian sex shouldn't have been the thing to dredge up all of the memories and heartache that came with them. "I didn't even really think about it until just now," Quinn finally confessed, reaching up to wipe away an errant tear.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Rachel asked gently.
Quinn shook her head and sniffled. "No. I really don't. Not tonight. Or this morning…whatever." There would be more than enough time to talk about Beth and all of her latent guilt. She'd probably fall apart on Thursday and snap at everyone who got too close. Her mom would undoubtedly bring it up and there would be tears. And Puck…God, poor Puck. Quinn would be a mess before she even got to school, and she wouldn't want to deal with any of it, but she wouldn't really have a choice, because it had happened and people would remember. Quinn would remember, but she didn't want to do it tonight. She looked at Rachel and sighed tiredly, "I really just want to go to sleep right now."
Rachel looked like she wanted to push the point, but she stayed silent on the subject and nodded in understanding. She got up from the bed and grabbed Quinn's duffle bag from where it had dropped to the floor, holding it out to her. "You can have the bathroom first."
Quinn smiled gratefully. "Thanks."
She kicked off her shoes and shrugged out of her sweater before padding into the bathroom and shimmying out of her dress. She washed her face, and then stared at her own reflection in the mirror for a few minutes. She didn't really look all that different from the person she'd been last year, but at least she could finally meet her own eyes without shying away. She still had a multitude of issues to work through, and God only knew what would happen to her when (if) she decided to come out to her mother, but she could finally see the Quinn that she wanted to be coming into focus through the smoke and mirrors. She might still be a little broken, but she felt like she was on the mend.
Quinn pulled out a tank top and a her favorite comfy sleep pants and put them on before she brushed her teeth and then brushed out her hair. When she came out of the bathroom, she saw Rachel turning down her bed. The girl was already changed into a well-worn t-shirt and obscenely short sleep shorts. She stifled a groan, knowing that she'd have to keep her hands to herself tonight, since Rachel had reopened her bedroom door as instructed.
Rachel glanced back over her shoulder with a grin. "You look all fresh and comfortable."
"And kind of exhausted."
Rachel stepped over to her and ran her hands up Quinn's arms, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. "Go to bed, sweetheart."
Quinn nodded as her girlfriend released her and went to take her turn in the bathroom. Quinn fell onto the bed and sank into the mattress, breathing in Rachel's lingering scent as she felt the momentous events of the day start to catch up with her fast. She was only half-aware of the bed eventually dipping under Rachel's weight and the glow of the lamp clicking off as she let herself drift into a blissful, semi-conscious state for a few minutes, but something just didn't feel right. Her eyes popped open and she turned her head to the right. She could barely make out the shadow of Rachel's profile next to her.
"Rach," she whispered.
"Hmm?"
"Are you awake?" she asked stupidly.
"Obviously."
She sucked her lower lip between her teeth and debated whether or not to ask. In the end, her need won out over her better judgment. "Do you…do you think your fathers would mind if we…cuddled a little?"
"Possibly," was uttered after a moment of hesitation.
Quinn's heart fell and she felt her eyes start to sting a little. "Oh," she mumbled dejectedly.
"I'm teasing you, Quinn," Rachel assured her, turning on her side and shifting closer to nuzzle her face into Quinn's shoulder and drape an arm across her midriff. "I think a little cuddling is acceptable," and Quinn happily readjusted her position so that she could hold Rachel. "If past experiences are any indication, we tend to wake up tangled together anyway, so we might as well enjoy falling asleep like this," Rachel pointed out reasonably.
Quinn smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Rachel's head. "Hey, Rach," she murmured.
"Yes, Quinn."
"Love you."
"Back atcha."
Quinn frowned at the flippant reply. "Rachel?"
She felt the girl smile against her shoulder. "I love you, too, Quinn."
"Better," she breathed out on a content sigh, letting sleep finally come to claim her and whisk her away into dreams filled with laughter and music and sweet whispers of love-confident that she'd wake up surrounded by the very same things.
And waking up to Rachel was so much better.
Song:
"Take Me or Leave Me," from Rent.
Chapter Thirty-Four