High School Musicalpocky_slashOctober 16 2010, 15:10:53 UTC
The school's biggest nerd and the school's biggest jock want nothing more than the star in the school musical. For some reason, their friends do everything in their power to prevent this, even though they are just as guilty of randomly bursting into song during the day.
A Play In Three ActsmetonymyOctober 17 2010, 17:24:50 UTC
ZAC EFRON: I'm a waxy melting Ken doll! CORBIN BLEU: I have awesome hair! Let's sing about basketball!
[They SING and DANCE.]
LUCAS GABREEL: I am adorable and coded as flamingly gay, even though this is a Disney movie and there's no overt sexuality! CORBIN BLEU: My hair is still awesome! Let's sing about baseball!
[They DO, and it is HOMOEROTIC.]
VANESSA HUDGENS: I am surprisingly untalented, but Disney wants to make me a star! ZAC EFRON: Me too! Let's pretend to fall in love! VANESSA: Even though we have fewer sparks than a broken Zippo? ZAC: Just think of the merchandise! VANESSA: Okay!
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HIS JOCKY FRIENDS: No, you will compromise your masculinity!
Jock: Are you kidding? I'm the lead in a Disney movie musical. Justin Timberlake looks butch next to me. Adam Lambert looks butch next to me.
JOCKY FRIENDS: But if there's no conflict, there's no plot! We're trying to get paid here.
Jock: WOE. I AM CONFLICTED.
Nerd: ::acts disgusted by jock's jock-ness, but is secretly falling in love::
SONGS AND DANCES ENSURE
Nerd: I'm not sure I want to be in the musical. I am conflicted!
NERD'S FRIENDS: I'm so glad she read the script.
MORE SINGING AND DANCING
Nerd: I will try out! Then the Jock will see what he's missing!
Jock: I will too! And despite our total lack of musical theater experience, we will win the lead roles.
GIANT SINGING AND DANCING NUMBER REPRESENTING A SUCCESSFUL MUSICAL.
Nerd (quietly): Did you notice that despite this being a singing and dancing musical set in a high school, no one's gay?
Jock: Shh. Disney.
CREDITS
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CORBIN BLEU: I have awesome hair! Let's sing about basketball!
[They SING and DANCE.]
LUCAS GABREEL: I am adorable and coded as flamingly gay, even though this is a Disney movie and there's no overt sexuality!
CORBIN BLEU: My hair is still awesome! Let's sing about baseball!
[They DO, and it is HOMOEROTIC.]
VANESSA HUDGENS: I am surprisingly untalented, but Disney wants to make me a star!
ZAC EFRON: Me too! Let's pretend to fall in love!
VANESSA: Even though we have fewer sparks than a broken Zippo?
ZAC: Just think of the merchandise!
VANESSA: Okay!
[They SING and POSE FOR PICTURES ON BACKPACKS.]
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