[One-shot] Braving the Storm
Title: Braving the Storm
Groups/Pairings: Kisumai - Fujigaya-centric, slight Ki/F and 2/S
Rating: PG
Summary: It's been raining a long time for Fujigaya.
Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.
Warnings: Angst/depression.
A/N: I should be working on Nano, but this came to me and practically wrote itself. Set sometime during 2010.
It’s raining, Fujigaya knows.
It’s raining in his heart, a steady downpour amidst dark clouds; so grey they’re almost black. His heart is black.
Smile, they tell him, the camera flashing like lightning against his retinas. He tries his best, but there’s so much rain, it’s draining his strength. It’s a half-hearted attempt, his eyes washed of every emotion.
It’s always raining these days.
He shows up to work, fingers leaden, heart sodden. People keep on talking to him, but he can’t hear them, can’t understand, it’s pouring and it’s starting to hurt.
Shut up, he says, forcefully. He just wants the clouds to go away.
Shut up.
Taisuke? Yokoo is at his shoulder, steering him away from the mirrors and the rest of their group. What had happened? Fujigaya can’t remember, but Senga looks pale, shocked, and Nikaido’s arm is around his shoulders, protective.
It rains a little harder.
Taisuke, are you okay?
Yokoo’s talking to him and Fujigaya knows this is where he’s supposed to smile. Or maybe he’s supposed to apologize. He’s sorry his heart is black and ugly, that the rain is so heavy, that it’s holding him down. He can’t fly with them like this, and he thinks that’s what he’s supposed to apologize for.
Instead he cries.
It starts storming.
The lightning is what gets him. The lightning strikes and he feels it shoot through him - electrifying him, killing him. The thunder follows after it, but it’s the lightning burning through him, the rain freezing in its wake, that’s what starts destroying him. Now there’s nothing left for him to give to those standing by his side or those who are watching him. They’re waiting for him.
The storming never stops. It keeps him up at night, has him pressing hands to his ears, to his heart, wondering what happened, what went wrong.
Eventually the lightning pushes them all away. Were they too afraid of getting hurt? He watches them, isolated by an ocean of silence, alone. Inside, it’s raging and he curls in on himself, wishing again and again that it’d stop raining. He’s so tired.
He’s so tired.
Suddenly there’s a hand on his wrist. It’s too tight, almost harsh, to be Yokoo’s, and Fujigaya realizes that Kitayama’s come over, braving the storm to pull him out of the room. They walk until they’re in a secluded corner under the stairway, and Kitayama’s looking at him. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at him, hands on Fujigaya’s wrists like he knows he needs to keep Fujigaya with him, before the rain falls even heavier.
I know, Kitayama says finally, voice low and fierce and he’s like a storm in himself, but made of fire, Fujigaya thinks. He wonders if it hurts, and then wonders if he reaches out, if the lightning and rain inside will get lost in the flames of Kitayama’s heart.
You need to come back, Taisuke. We can’t do this without you.
He cries again, and the rain pounds against his chest. It hurts, it’s like he can’t breathe, but he can’t look away from Kitayama’s gaze. Maybe it’s what he needs, the hurt before it heals. The storm is raging, freezing at his heart, but somehow Kitayama’s emotion relieves some of the tension inside.
For the first time, there’s a glimmer of sunlight amongst the clouds.
Groups/Pairings: Kisumai - Fujigaya-centric, slight Ki/F and 2/S
Rating: PG
Summary: It's been raining a long time for Fujigaya.
Disclaimer: This work is purely fiction.
Warnings: Angst/depression.
A/N: I should be working on Nano, but this came to me and practically wrote itself. Set sometime during 2010.
It’s raining, Fujigaya knows.
It’s raining in his heart, a steady downpour amidst dark clouds; so grey they’re almost black. His heart is black.
Smile, they tell him, the camera flashing like lightning against his retinas. He tries his best, but there’s so much rain, it’s draining his strength. It’s a half-hearted attempt, his eyes washed of every emotion.
It’s always raining these days.
He shows up to work, fingers leaden, heart sodden. People keep on talking to him, but he can’t hear them, can’t understand, it’s pouring and it’s starting to hurt.
Shut up, he says, forcefully. He just wants the clouds to go away.
Shut up.
Taisuke? Yokoo is at his shoulder, steering him away from the mirrors and the rest of their group. What had happened? Fujigaya can’t remember, but Senga looks pale, shocked, and Nikaido’s arm is around his shoulders, protective.
It rains a little harder.
Taisuke, are you okay?
Yokoo’s talking to him and Fujigaya knows this is where he’s supposed to smile. Or maybe he’s supposed to apologize. He’s sorry his heart is black and ugly, that the rain is so heavy, that it’s holding him down. He can’t fly with them like this, and he thinks that’s what he’s supposed to apologize for.
Instead he cries.
It starts storming.
The lightning is what gets him. The lightning strikes and he feels it shoot through him - electrifying him, killing him. The thunder follows after it, but it’s the lightning burning through him, the rain freezing in its wake, that’s what starts destroying him. Now there’s nothing left for him to give to those standing by his side or those who are watching him. They’re waiting for him.
The storming never stops. It keeps him up at night, has him pressing hands to his ears, to his heart, wondering what happened, what went wrong.
Eventually the lightning pushes them all away. Were they too afraid of getting hurt? He watches them, isolated by an ocean of silence, alone. Inside, it’s raging and he curls in on himself, wishing again and again that it’d stop raining. He’s so tired.
He’s so tired.
Suddenly there’s a hand on his wrist. It’s too tight, almost harsh, to be Yokoo’s, and Fujigaya realizes that Kitayama’s come over, braving the storm to pull him out of the room. They walk until they’re in a secluded corner under the stairway, and Kitayama’s looking at him. He doesn’t say anything, just stares at him, hands on Fujigaya’s wrists like he knows he needs to keep Fujigaya with him, before the rain falls even heavier.
I know, Kitayama says finally, voice low and fierce and he’s like a storm in himself, but made of fire, Fujigaya thinks. He wonders if it hurts, and then wonders if he reaches out, if the lightning and rain inside will get lost in the flames of Kitayama’s heart.
You need to come back, Taisuke. We can’t do this without you.
He cries again, and the rain pounds against his chest. It hurts, it’s like he can’t breathe, but he can’t look away from Kitayama’s gaze. Maybe it’s what he needs, the hurt before it heals. The storm is raging, freezing at his heart, but somehow Kitayama’s emotion relieves some of the tension inside.
For the first time, there’s a glimmer of sunlight amongst the clouds.