13.2 - This is not a dream my friend/And it will never end!

[playsdoctor]

Effects (optional): Sympathy for the devil
Warnings: Nongraphic death, self loathing
Additional Notes: This nightmare may generate an Intense Fear effect for those in Side A. Aimed at anyone who's been opposed to Muraki's actions at any time, but open for anyone to fall victim to.

Comments

[stillneedsakiss]

Hey...

I understand the pain and despair of losing loved ones. But do you really think that path of complete darkness is okay?

[playsdoctor]

If I lose her for real, I have no reason to keep from giving into my evil blood.

[stillneedsakiss]

Yes, you do. What do you think their feelings about that would be?

[playsdoctor]

If she's not around, what she feels doesn't matter anymore.

[stillneedsakiss]

But what her feelings mean to you does.

[playsdoctor]

I don't think I see your point, dear. No matter how much she means, death is the end and devotion to a memory seems foolish.

[The extra formality is just there to cover that he's a little shaken at those words. Ukyou will always be everything to him, even if he loses her.]

[stillneedsakiss]

Does it really?

[She doesn't believe you, Muraki.]

[playsdoctor]

I don't want to live in the past that way. I've seen those who do and it seems pointless.

[stillneedsakiss]

Oh, who said anything about living in the past? I'm pleading for the opposite.

[playsdoctor]

I don't see how being loyal to a memory isn't living in the past.

[stillneedsakiss]

No. It's if you give up and throw away everything because of something you no longer have that you're living in the past. You're refusing to move on and find a new reason to live.

If she was that important to you, then your memory of her is the one part of her that no one can take away from you. Don't throw that away. Honor it: become someone she would have found worth inspiring through death.

That's what she would want for you. And it isn't living in the past. It's creating a future.

[playsdoctor]

[This time, his silence is longer and more awkward. On some level, he knows that she's right, but does he deserve to move on after all he's done in her name so far? Does he deserve anything resembling a decent life without the one person who thinks nothing but the best of him, not knowing anything about the blood he's shed for power, love, and hate?

He closes his eyes for a moment, weighing over what to do. Something about the determination in those words reminds him too much of his best friend, who'd probably say the same thing if he saw this dream. Oriya believed in his capacity for good even until the end. That means rebuking her may not go well; she might only work harder to make Muraki's masks fall to pieces around him.

If he indulges her, will she see through it? She seems smart enough for that, unfortunately. That leaves something resembling honesty as his only choice.]

Maybe you're right. But that doesn't mean that a man like me deserves a future, unless you think that all evil can be forgiven and washed away.

[stillneedsakiss]

[Aya is quiet for several seconds. She's smart enough to understand from Muraki's words that this man has done some truly terrible things. Of course, so has her brother. All for the sake of that person that came to mean everything. What a curious parallel.]

...I believe that it's never too late to strive to be a better person.

[playsdoctor]

[He has no idea about the parallels, since her brother is being amazingly tight-lipped and stubborn about everything, as he seems to be whenever Muraki's involved. Knowing would make her words even heavier inside him.

People who believe in him even after seeing his worst moments like this, or the time he was caught breaking dolls, confuse him even as they help him believe in his long-twisted faith all over again. Are they why he was brought to Somarium?]

You're kinder to me than I deserve. Thank you, Aya-chan.

[stillneedsakiss]

Be a little kinder to yourself, will you? Whether you forgive yourself or think you deserve more, it's the same: the greatest service you can do for this Ukyou is to be who you think she would want you to be. I don't see a point in trying to kid anyone she'll always be more important to you than anyone or anything else.

[Because she's seen this before, too.]

[playsdoctor]

[All he can do is nod before he hangs up. It's strange how the most useful advice comes from the sister of the person with the most reason to hate him here in Somarium.]