Bad wrap
My Permanent Residence
Landenberg, PA 19350
July 17, 2007
On A Roll Sales
Brockton, MA
J. Polep Distribution Services
Chicopee, MA 01013
Thirsty Mind Espresso Bar
South Hadley, MA 01075
Dear On A Roll Sales, J. Polep Distribution Services, and Thirsty Mind Espresso
Bar:
I would like to inform you that the “Hummus & Grilled Vegetables Wrap” I bought
from Thirsty Mind Espresso Bar for what I hoped would be a satisfying light dinner
on July 7, 2007, was entirely unsatisfactory, causing me to regret within the first few
bites that I had bought such a tasteless, mushy piece of goo.
As the wrap was modestly priced, I assure you that I by no means expected a
particularly tangy or tastebud-tingling meal. I simply wanted something that wasn’t
gross, and that would fill me up. Unfortunately, the HGVW did not provide either of
these, as its grossness precluded me from eating more than a few bites, leaving
me both hungry and unsatisfied, i.e., roughly the same state as before I bought the
fateful wrap - only $3.94 poorer and considerably more frustrated.
I do not know why this wrap was so very gross, and I assure you that I am not in
the habit of writing letters such as these unless I am truly offended by the quality of
the product I receive. However, this wrap was not only mushy and overripe, but also
tasteless, bland, and an offense to hummus and vegetables alike. The wrap did
eventually make an effective fertilizer for my garden, but not before I had stomped
on it to make sure that the offending odor was indeed not a product of my mind. My
plants are now growing happily as a result of the putridness of the wrap; but my
heart may never be the same.
I have enclosed copies of the receipt I received from Thirsty Mind, as well as the
front and back of the cardboard cover that came with the wrap itself. The Thirsty
Mind receipt is, for some reason, very hard to decipher, but I assure you that it is
authentic - I can even show you where it debited on my Visa, if you like.
I can only hope that, by writing this letter, I can save some other poor unsuspect-
ing soul from the path I unwittingly took. However, all is not lost - I have begun to
learn to trust vegetables again, and more recently, even ventured to eat a couple
bites of that fateful chickpea-based product that has alternately caused me such
harm and joy. (I’m less than ready to go back to wraps, though - I suppose I am
more inclined to pardon the innards of the wrap than its spurious outward
appearance.)
To conclude, then, I thank you for your time, and ask that you please let me know
if you have any further questions, so that this isolated incident does not degenerate
into a truly “bad wrap.”
Cordially,
Me
Enclosures
Landenberg, PA 19350
July 17, 2007
On A Roll Sales
Brockton, MA
J. Polep Distribution Services
Chicopee, MA 01013
Thirsty Mind Espresso Bar
South Hadley, MA 01075
Dear On A Roll Sales, J. Polep Distribution Services, and Thirsty Mind Espresso
Bar:
I would like to inform you that the “Hummus & Grilled Vegetables Wrap” I bought
from Thirsty Mind Espresso Bar for what I hoped would be a satisfying light dinner
on July 7, 2007, was entirely unsatisfactory, causing me to regret within the first few
bites that I had bought such a tasteless, mushy piece of goo.
As the wrap was modestly priced, I assure you that I by no means expected a
particularly tangy or tastebud-tingling meal. I simply wanted something that wasn’t
gross, and that would fill me up. Unfortunately, the HGVW did not provide either of
these, as its grossness precluded me from eating more than a few bites, leaving
me both hungry and unsatisfied, i.e., roughly the same state as before I bought the
fateful wrap - only $3.94 poorer and considerably more frustrated.
I do not know why this wrap was so very gross, and I assure you that I am not in
the habit of writing letters such as these unless I am truly offended by the quality of
the product I receive. However, this wrap was not only mushy and overripe, but also
tasteless, bland, and an offense to hummus and vegetables alike. The wrap did
eventually make an effective fertilizer for my garden, but not before I had stomped
on it to make sure that the offending odor was indeed not a product of my mind. My
plants are now growing happily as a result of the putridness of the wrap; but my
heart may never be the same.
I have enclosed copies of the receipt I received from Thirsty Mind, as well as the
front and back of the cardboard cover that came with the wrap itself. The Thirsty
Mind receipt is, for some reason, very hard to decipher, but I assure you that it is
authentic - I can even show you where it debited on my Visa, if you like.
I can only hope that, by writing this letter, I can save some other poor unsuspect-
ing soul from the path I unwittingly took. However, all is not lost - I have begun to
learn to trust vegetables again, and more recently, even ventured to eat a couple
bites of that fateful chickpea-based product that has alternately caused me such
harm and joy. (I’m less than ready to go back to wraps, though - I suppose I am
more inclined to pardon the innards of the wrap than its spurious outward
appearance.)
To conclude, then, I thank you for your time, and ask that you please let me know
if you have any further questions, so that this isolated incident does not degenerate
into a truly “bad wrap.”
Cordially,
Me
Enclosures