Comments | plan_survive: I think Four might kill me

juthwara in plan_survive

I think Four might kill me

Oct 21, 2009 22:59

Yesterday, I was THAT mother, you know, the one who has a firm grip on a struggling child as she marches them along, clearly at the end of her temper. The one people tsk at because what sort of abusive parent is so rough with their child ( Read more... )

support, advice - discipline, 4-year-old

Comments 9

choptliver October 22 2009, 05:54:57 UTC

Yeah, it takes a while. She's testing for limits and you're providing them. Once she's sure of where they are, she'll calm down a bit. I'd suggest backing up the on-the-spot correction with calm discussions in non-testing times. "How did it make you feel when I said no Burger King? Do you think running away from me was safe? Do you think I'll want to do nice things for you when you make things harder for me?" And so on.

All stages pass. Hang in there.

ailbhe October 22 2009, 08:05:01 UTC

You'll get there. (The boneless trick drives me UP THE WALL because anything I can use to combat it feels abusive).

(Also, I have days when I want to hit so badly that I'm really glad we don't allow hitting).

heraldis October 22 2009, 09:10:08 UTC

This!

missmarmot October 22 2009, 13:52:55 UTC

This x a billion.

(My 40 lb 3 year old still bites me occasionally. Good times, oh yeah.)

(The comment has been removed)

ailbhe October 22 2009, 12:46:02 UTC

Is that better or worse than grabbing them by the arm and dislocating their elbow?

heraldis October 22 2009, 09:11:00 UTC

It does get better. My 5 going on 6 year old is now 90% reasonable. Well maybe 85% ...

fairoriana October 22 2009, 13:47:51 UTC

It does work eventually, I think. We're suddenly in a good phase as though the light turned on and he can use past behavior and consequences to predict the outcome of current choices. But yeah. My child's tactic of choice is physically hitting ME.