Rhiannon peels her nails. She hasn't done it for a while, but earlier this year it was very bad. Putting sparkly nail varnish on to make them pretty helped sometimes, as did trying very hard not to make a big deal out of it. As a former nail-biter and thumb sucker, the foul tasting paint only works for a while; it is possible to become accustomed to it. It could work now though, before the habit becomes too ingrained
( ... )
I might write the Health Visitor a list of concerns and see if I can get Linnea a referral to the counsellor. It's almost impossible for me to see a doctor or similar without the children there, really; I could manage it possibly at 2 pm on a Thursday but otherwise I'd have to have at least Emer with me. Perhaps she wouldn't pick up on things. I imagine initially I'd have to list all the concerning behaviours, which I'd rather Linnea didn't hear.
The writing on walls is *not* primarily artistic passion, though some of it has been, historically; it's primarily a deliberate naughtiness that incorporates self-expression, which means merely forbidding and penalising it won't work this time. Worked beautifully for the Pure Art portraits she did on the bedroom walls though. That was sad. They were marvellous portraits.
I'll have a go with both foul and pretty nail paint and see where it gets us. She's been biting her toenails recently too. It's so ick.
On the drawing note, my 5 year old used to do that at three. Her response to "but why did you do it?" was "I couldn't stop my hands, mummy, they just DID it!" *sigh*
The good news is that with consistent response, including plenty of other creative outlets provided, she did stop after a while.
She still bites her nails, though, which is something her daddy does. I am pondering the nasty tasting polish too.
With the drawing, I'd be tempted to remove drawing privileges completely for a short time, depending on the severity of the misdemenour "If you can't control where you draw, you can't draw at all". Removing the ability to do it at all is one beyond forbidding it.
With the stressful news things, don't let them be exposed to news? It's for adults, children really don't need to worry about the big world at four, their own world is complex enough. We are there to worry for them! That sounds a bit patronising, sorry :( I do remember news items as a child I really shouldn't have seen, and don't want the same happening to my girl.
Could you write stuff down for the therapist, and refer to numbered items, so it was too complex for Emer to pick up on?
The news blackout was the first thing I tried, but it's hard. We don't watch TV news anyway, so that wasn't it - it was the radio and conversations on buses and things. My own radio at home was easy to control, and while the news was new I just had it off. Have you any suggestions for the other sources?
The foul painting stuff *might* deter a new biter, but as a determined child nail biter I used to just lick the stuff off and then bite. Yup it tastes gross, but it didn't deter me. And I wonder why my children are so stubborn...
Andrew picks the skin on his fingers around the nails, to the point where one of his fingers got infected the other week. I think that has actually stopped him doing it for a bit, because it hurt a lot, especially when we had to clean it out.
Kate has been through the drawing on walls stage & has written her name on the wall in each room :/ I've had to paint over scribbles in their bedroom & there are still scribbles in the dining room as we don't have the matching paint & I can't get it off the wall :/ It's a cream wall too ...
Not sure about the abduction thing, as Kate hasn't been through anything like that yet. I do reassure her at times that no monsters will get her as mummy won't let them. No-one close to us has died, so she's not really picked up on it, we've just had distant relatives that Kate didn't really know. She is fascinated by killing off her barbies & teddies & had a dead box a couple of weeks ago to put her dead school children in (she was playing schools)
A therapist may be useful as the abduction thing is obviously upsetting her.
I do wish they would find the child soon as it is just gah.
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The writing on walls is *not* primarily artistic passion, though some of it has been, historically; it's primarily a deliberate naughtiness that incorporates self-expression, which means merely forbidding and penalising it won't work this time. Worked beautifully for the Pure Art portraits she did on the bedroom walls though. That was sad. They were marvellous portraits.
I'll have a go with both foul and pretty nail paint and see where it gets us. She's been biting her toenails recently too. It's so ick.
Reply
The good news is that with consistent response, including plenty of other creative outlets provided, she did stop after a while.
She still bites her nails, though, which is something her daddy does. I am pondering the nasty tasting polish too.
Reply
With the drawing, I'd be tempted to remove drawing privileges completely for a short time, depending on the severity of the misdemenour "If you can't control where you draw, you can't draw at all". Removing the ability to do it at all is one beyond forbidding it.
With the stressful news things, don't let them be exposed to news? It's for adults, children really don't need to worry about the big world at four, their own world is complex enough. We are there to worry for them! That sounds a bit patronising, sorry :( I do remember news items as a child I really shouldn't have seen, and don't want the same happening to my girl.
Could you write stuff down for the therapist, and refer to numbered items, so it was too complex for Emer to pick up on?
Reply
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And I wonder why my children are so stubborn...
Andrew picks the skin on his fingers around the nails, to the point where one of his fingers got infected the other week. I think that has actually stopped him doing it for a bit, because it hurt a lot, especially when we had to clean it out.
Reply
Not sure about the abduction thing, as Kate hasn't been through anything like that yet. I do reassure her at times that no monsters will get her as mummy won't let them. No-one close to us has died, so she's not really picked up on it, we've just had distant relatives that Kate didn't really know. She is fascinated by killing off her barbies & teddies & had a dead box a couple of weeks ago to put her dead school children in (she was playing schools)
A therapist may be useful as the abduction thing is obviously upsetting her.
I do wish they would find the child soon as it is just gah.
Reply
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