Appearing out of the void to "discuss" SH2

[plalligator]

SO. Went to see this movie last Friday, the night it came out here in the States. And. Uh. Yeah? Felt the need to share my thoughts with the world some five people who might see this?

In chronological order, maybe:

• All the previews beforehand were rubbish except for The Dark Knight Rising, which looked phenomenal, because EVERYONE FROM INCEPTION. 
• JUDE LAW IS LEGITIMATELY THE MOST ATTRACTIVE, HIM WITH HIS SUIT AND HIS WAISTCOAT AND HIS TOP HAT HNNNNNG. 
• Randomly killing off Irene was weird and...weird? And stupid. Kinda felt like they used her for a draw and then just got rid of her cause they didn't need her. Also, is she really dead? Cause, you know, Moriarty is a lying liar who lies. 
• Wedding scene asdfghjkl Holmes is, for once, not an obnoxious jerk at Watson, or at least not particularly, and just lets him suffer in peace and then he winks at Mary and fixing Watson's cravat OH MY GOD and can we just for a second remember the fact the HE GAVE THEM A HUGE DIAMOND FOR HER WEDDING RING and yeah.
• Can we just establish that I have legit conflicted feelings, because HOLMES AND WATSON, but also I don't hate Mary. I want both, I really do. I want to ship Holmes/Watson always always always and also Watson/Mary and Holmes/Watson/Mary and also Simza/all three of them. Because. 
• It honestly annoys me that people hate Mary, because why? Cause she's getting in the way of the gay? Cause she's really, really not, people. I just can't hate her. And that brings me to my next thing:
• "I think it's time for you to leave now" THIS IS WHY I DON'T HATE MARY, GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW THIS WOMAN HAS PRETTY MUCH LET NOTHING AT ALL PHASE HER THROUGH TWO FILMS. IT TAKES A LOT TO GET THIS CLASSY BROAD UPSET. 
• Also, can we talk about Watson's instincts, like the gun, and the fact that he is immediately suspicious of the person bringing them champagne? Because, yes, awesome. 
• I actually got some secondhand embarrassment from the whole "wrestling on the floor with Holmes half-naked thing." Extremely gay, but also extremely awkward to watch. 
• Simza was the absolute best. Not a love interest, not letting anyone push her around, treated like an equal. Also badass. More like a cool big sis then anything. I'm think the train scene where she's letting Holmes rest on her lap and singing to him. 
• Also, did anyone else find the fact that they call her "Sim" as, like, a diminutive extremely endearing? Idek whether that's supposed to be her actual name or what, but. Yeah.
• Let's see, let's see...oh, yes: "Come at once if convenient. If inconvenient, come anyway." I literally flailed a little bit when I saw this, because it was TOTALLY IN SHERLOCK BBC TOO. This exact same line. Idk if it's from the original stories or what, but HAPPINESS FOREVER anyway. 
• MORAN. That is all. He needs to be more Irish, but still: MORAN. 
• THE SCENE WHERE HOLMES PASSES THE RIFLE TO WATSON AND WATSON SHOOTS MORAN OH MY GOD. HAVE LITERALLY BEEN WAITING TO SEE THAT SCENE SINCE I SAW THE PREVIEW.
• Do I even need to say anything about the train scene? My feelings are everyone else's feelings, basically. (Except that, coughcoughwatsonthatisnothowchestcompressionsworkthat'snothowyoudoitcoughcough. Nothing! I wasn't saying anything!)
• Okay, I called that this was going to be the Reichenbach movie. Fucking CALLED it. And somewhere, somewhere, there is a Google chat with pageleaf from like, July, that PROVES I called it but whatever. I can't find it. The point is, I CALLED IT.
• I think I have so many feelings about the last scenes in Switzerland I basically cannot express them all. 
• DANCING. THEY JUST START DANCING, and "Who taught you to dance?" "You did." <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
• Asdfghjkl the understanding in that scene as Holmes goes out to the balcony and Watson and Sim look for Sim's brother--which, btws, the fact that Watson FIGURES IT OUT basically as Holmes would and you can see his face as he's realizing--ugh. My heart. 
• Holmes and Moriarty's chess game and the way that they continue is verbally once time's up and "checkmate" and then
• MARY. MARY. MARY, MY FAVORITE FOR EVER AND EVER. "That's for page two. Now for page three" and the fact that Holmes basically CHOSE HER to do that job and she is fucking happy to do it in a completely ruthless way. 
•  THEY HAVE A MENTAL FIGHT and Holmes, when he realizes he's going to lose and going to die and then he just goes "Unless..." and I think my heart just about stopped there, and then started again, and then stopped again WHEN WATSON WALKS OUT JUST IN TIME TO SEE THEM GO OVER, OH GOD. 
• As for the end...
• TEARS. ALSO, I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO END IT THERE. I REALLY DID. But...
• What Watson's typing at the end? You know, "the best and wisest man I have ever known" bit? LAST LINE IN "THE FINAL PROBLEM, Y'ALL. Straight from the books. 
• Oxygen device: DID NOT SEE THAT FUCKING COMING. NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT. NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST. The best part about that whole thing was watching Watson's face because he realizes and honestly I think everyone in the theater had the same expression. There was literally a collective gasp. 
• Camouflage: SAME. CAN'T EVEN. WAS COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED BY THAT. 
• "The End?" YES, THE END. THE PERFECTEST WAY TO END ASDFGHJKL. 

Um, wow. That was a lot of words that I just wrote, neglecting my math shit to do so. A+, self.