LJ Idol - Morgenmuffel

[pixiebelle]

“I don’t wanna do this.” I repeat this phrase to myself over and over again, as the warm water from the show cascades over my body.

I stare blankly at the wall and wish I could just go back to bed. It’s too early for this. I’m already not a morning person, but these treatments make me even less eager to get out of bed.

Eventually I pull myself

Comments

[beldarzfixon]

This reminded me of my year of Hodgkins Lymphoma. I, too, decided not to make it the focus of my conversation, and I happened to have a circle of friends who understood. This was in the 1990s when Vampire LARPing really took off, and we occupied ourselves with playing undead while every week I would fight for my life. Six months of chemo, eight weeks of radiation. Since the radiation blasts were on my chest, the esophagus got "sunburned" from the inside, so Wendy's frosties were excellent "medicine."

But, yeah, lots of not-fun time in there.

I'm rooting for you, take care and get well!

[pixiebelle]

Thank you. Sorry to hear about your own cancer experience. It’s definitely not fun. I just came off seven months of chemo and I’m tired. I loved the little break between chemo and radiation though, it reminded me that hopefully soon, my life will be back to normal-ish.

[ragnarok_08]

I'm rooting for you!

Take care ♥

[pixiebelle]

Thank you ❤️

[banana_galaxy]

I appreciate you sharing what your experience has been like. When you talked about how all-consuming living with a chronic illness is, it made me think about how I feel about being autistic. It touches and impacts my whole life, that I'm always thinking about my experience with that context.

I do hope that once you're done with radiation therapy that you'll be able to get back to some semblance of what you want to be your normal, though.

[pixiebelle]

Thank you. It has made me realize how chronic illness, mental illness, etc can really impact your entire life. I already had some idea thanks to my ADHD/OCD but this is something I really didn’t want to talk about - but find it hard to talk about much else since it’s basically impacting my entire life. I definitely understand how much harder it is now though.

I hope that once this is over, I can work on getting back to a somewhat normal life. At least one not focusing on appointments all the time. I’m tired.

[roina_arwen]

Hugs! I hope it all goes well. I’m glad you have a good support system (and driver).

[pixiebelle]

Thank you! I’m grateful for my driver every day. I don’t have to make conversation on the days I’m barely awake lol

[adoptedwriter]

Hugs! You got this!

[pixiebelle]

Thank you